I was awake; I just had trouble opening my eyes. My lungs were exhausted, my arms burned, and my nose was numb. When I attempted to move, my body screamed at me to stop being stupid and get some rest. Of course, I ignored said directions and fought to open my eyes. After lifting the two tons that were my eyelids, sunlight blinded me. I gave myself a moment to adjust my eyes to the light and the sight of Kagome's sleeping figure next to me. In spite of my body's insistent barking, I sat up. The oblivious chirping of birds filled the air, showing fear of nothing. It was obnoxiously soothing.
"I didn't realize just how quiet things were when I was stuck with Sesshomaru." I whispered to myself.
I took a deep breath as I ran my hand through my hair. What the hell was I supposed to do now? There was no way to avoid the subject. Ignorance wasn't an option here. Whatever was going on here, this was going to make it impossible to not be a part of it. I know being here in itself gave that much away, but it would be even harder for me to avoid getting snared in entangling situations.
"Oh, Kazumi, you're awake." I heard Sango say as she entered the hut.
"Yeah, I am."
"How are you feeling? Do you feel well enough to be moving?"
"I'll be fine." I responded.
An awkward silence developed between us, leaving Kagome's soft breathing as evident as the birds' sudden decisions to stop their high-pitched chirping.
"Well… Umm… you do remember…that…"
"I do." I replied as I rested my head on my hand. "And honestly, I don't know what to think."
"So, you didn't expect for that to happen?"
"Of course not." I replied. "I would have been a lot more careful if I believed…"
"You weren't completely clueless about it?"
"It's not nice to question people right after they wake up." Kagome injected as she rubbed the remaining sleep out of her eyes.
Sango backed off with her questioning.
"Are you okay?" Kagome asked after stretching and letting a yawn escape her lips.
"I'll be fine, Kagome." I assured her.
"… Are you sure? If you want, Kaede and I-" She finished.
"Don't worry about me. Sesshomaru suspected this the moment he laid those damn eyes on me."
"That would explain why he stuck to you. He's not really nice toward humans." Kagome responded.
I smirked. "I wouldn't assume that."
"Rin is an exception, huh?" Kagome guessed.
"Yeah…"
"Now that I think about it, why did Sesshomaru want to keep you?" Sango chimed in.
I was silent.
"You don't owe us any explanation." Kagome hurriedly concluded.
"Well, I wasn't exactly kidding with the ending up as InuYasha's sister statement." I explained before divulging into the story of the book I could not catch. I was a bit lackluster in my explanation, but it got the job done.
"Well that explains quite a bit." Sango sighed. "You know, he's still waiting for you, outside the village. It's been driving InuYasha mad."
I sighed, unaware of the small smile that I gave after hearing the information. It was the two women's silence that made me aware of my reaction. Before I could say anything to defend my smile, Sesshomaru entered the hut. It was as though a truck rear ended a little Leaf, blocking three lanes of a five lane highway. My words stalled in my throat though my brain went into hyper drive trying to interpret my own body language and how to fix my current state, all while we stared at the white haired Inu daiyokai. He stared right back at me, ignoring the other two women. Those eyes silently gloated at the accuracy of his prediction as they sized me up once more. I felt nude. I moved to cover myself with my arms, but couldn't break away from that gaze. I was released from his stare when he turned his attention to the two silent girls next to me. Kagome bolted up and pulled Sango out of the hut, understanding why the man disrupted his gaze for them. Before I could protest, the two disappeared with their tails between their legs. I didn't want to think of the ideas that would pop into their heads because of this. I didn't want to think of the ideas that popped up in Sesshomaru's head. I was caught alone with the demon lord. I didn't know what to say, and even if I did, I wouldn't know how to say it.
"You are awake." Sesshomaru commented when he felt the time was right.
"I am." I said softly.
There was a moment of silence as I looked away from him. His presence was unnerving. I know what he wants from me, and it didn't calm my nerves.
"You still avoid my gaze." He stated as he came closer to me.
"I would like some more sleep." I lied, still avoiding his stare
"You are lying."
"For obvious reasons." I replied.
"You deceive yourself if you believe your reasoning is obvious."
"I would prefer to be alone." I asked as I turned further away from him.
"You wish to avoid me."
"Then you see that my reasoning was obvious."
"Why do you wish to avoid me?"
I said nothing.
"Do I frighten you?"
"You know what, I'll leave. That'll solve the problem." I said as I stood up, ignoring the needles I walked on.
I didn't make it far before he pulled me away from the door. To make the chance of me escaping into the refuge of public space even smaller, though the chances were already slim, he pulled me farther from the door than I had originally been. I'd turned around to contest his grappling onto me, but found myself in his unexpected embrace. I stood there, clueless on how I should react to the sudden display of emotion. Was this Sesshomaru? Who was this man, and why did he feel he knew me well enough to commit to such a disorientating act? Whoever this man was, his arm siphoned all thoughts of resistance from of my mind as he sat me back down, stealing all possibility of escape from me.
"What do you want from me?" I asked, though I knew the answer.
He said nothing as he tightened his grip.
"Stop-"
My breath was stolen as he pushed me onto my back. I could only stare into his golden eyes. I knew all too well what was happening as he ran his hand through my hair. I was stuck as another car wreck blocked three fourths of my mind. Only my involuntary breathing functioned as normal. My heart raced as a blush broke out, drenching my face with rosy embarrassment. He leaned toward me, leaving centimeters between our lips. I stopped mid breath when he paused his advance. We seemed to be trapped in a drop of amber as we our staring contest continued though our movements were stilled. He combed his fingers through my hair once more, sending a crippling shiver down my spine, forcing the gears of time forward. The moment was shattered entirely by InuYasha and Kagome's audible arguing.
"Leave them alone!" Kagome tried to whisper, but failed terribly.
"You want me to leave them alone? This is Sesshomaru we're talking about!" InuYasha yelled back. "This isn't some type of fantasy where Sesshomaru isn't a killer!"
"InuYasha, SIT!" Kagome yelled at him.
I tried to push Sesshomaru off of me, but I was barely able to gain an inch of distance from him. He stared at me as I broke free of the spell his eyes had casted on me. A moment later, Sesshomaru was pulling me up. I was glad to be free of the seductive situation, but was a fool to think I had escaped his grip completely. Before I knew it, he was holding my palm as he led me out of the hut with confusing gentleness. I followed naïvely, disorientated by the sudden care he showed me. It was Kagome's soft call that started my struggle.
"Wha-what are you doing?" I asked as I tried to pull my arm away from him.
"Your word was that you would return with me without any quarrel." He replied as his grip hardened.
"That was more than a week ago!"
"You have no choice."
He pulled me forward as InuYasha pried himself off the ground. Kagome seemed to be questioning if siting InuYasha was one of her worse ideas. There wasn't much I could do, unless I wanted to pop my hand out of joint. I gave no resistance to his pulling, something that would become a habit at this rate. I followed behind him until he deemed we were far enough from the others, which was ten feet away from his camp. We were back with Rin, Ah-Un, and Jaken a minute after my arm's-length leash was taken off. Rin ran up to me and received a hug after greeting Sesshomaru.
"Kazumi-chan, why did you attack Jaken and Rin?" She asked. Her words pierced through my heart, but I managed to wave it off.
"That was not me Rin. That was an evil witch that took over my body. I was able to stop myself though." I told her the kid friendly truth.
"Oh! See Jaken! I told you that was not Kazumi-chan!" Rin told Jaken. "If you had looked into her eyes, you would have seen that!"
"Be quiet Rin!" Jaken said back.
"You don't have faith in me Jaken?" I asked with a pained smile.
My exhaustion had finally caught up to me, and Sesshomaru's death grip on my wrist didn't soften the impact. Regardless, I was prepared to keep walking to where ever Sesshomaru wanted to go. It had been important enough for him to drag me back here. We remained in the camp for a few more minutes, putting out the campfire, packing blankets, and discarding the debris of what I assume was last night's dinner. Once everything was taken care of, I watched from a distance as Rin ran to the front of the group to pet Ah-Un. I started after the girl, expecting Sesshomaru to take lead soon after, but found myself being picked. I stared as my mind processed the action while Sesshomaru placed me on Ah-Un. The two-headed dragon didn't complain against its master's will, but Sesshomaru was not my master, and I was not his belonging.
"I can walk." I told Sesshomaru.
He said nothing, but remained by the dragon's side. His actions got the message across. He wasn't going to humor my grievances, but he would enforce his decisions. The man was stealing my freedoms, one at a time. Before I know it, he won't let me breathe air he doesn't approve of. I let out a sigh as the dragon followed behind Sesshomaru with Rin and Jaken not far behind. It would be a long season. Especially now that I went and had Sesshomaru kill Tsubaki. Without a doubt, that's going to throw everything out of whack. Tsubaki's supposed to unleash an ogre and fuse with it and then die after a final encounter with InuYasha, but that won't be happening in this time line. Would it skip all the way to Myoga's girlfriend episode? Or would InuYasha's group fight the org itself as filler? Well, majority of the series is filler, but like filler to fill the plot hole? I would leave that for time to tell. That needn't be my worry since virtually anything can happen while I'm with Sesshomaru. I have absolutely no clue as to what could happen next, excluding the few times he pops up in the anime. One thing I know for sure is that Sesshomaru would see Kagura pretty soon. How soon? I don't know.
'Does he love her?' [Me]
Aww, is someone envious? [I]
That's a sin. [Myself]
And that's what makes it more realistic. [I]
'I'm not envious.' [Me]
I doubt it. Look at you. Now that you've confirmed that we're demons, you want him all for yourself! [I]
'Bullshit. [Me]
That's greed. [Myself]
We know, one of the 7 deadly sins. [I]
'Ah, Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood, how much you have taught me.' [Me]
You want him! Me and Sesshomaru, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g! [I]
That's lust. [Myself]
'If you say one more thing about a sin, I swear I will shun you, and you'll have to talk to Conscience in the corner!'[Me]
Wrath isn't-[Myself]
CORNER, NOW![I]
You guys are just haters…[Myself]
'Welcome to the club.'[Conscience]
I'm not like you.[Myself]
'Me, you should just tell him how you feel!'[Conscience]
'Thanks MOM! Even if I did feel some type of way toward him, that's just one more thing I know not to do!'[Me]
'It's not my fault I'm your Conscience! I'm just telling you to do the right thing!' [Conscience]
'That's what morality is for!' [Me]
'I don't understand why you girls don't like me. I'm just doing my job!'[Conscience]
What do you mean "if I did feel some type of way?" We all know you love him. [I]
'As a CHARACTER.'[Me]
You never know what can happen. You could have stolen his heart for all we know. [Myself]
'Yeah right. I haven't had time to pull out my pickaxe and dig his heart out of the ice surrounding it.'[Me]
It'll melt with time. [Myself]
My eyes trained on the back of his head as the words ran through my brain. Melt with time? It is always subzero next to him. Melting wasn't possible. I was stupid for even contemplating it for a second. I shifted my attention to the scenery Sesshomaru led us into. We'd walked right out of the forest and into the arid land of a canyon, the canyon that the dragon Ryokotsusei used to be sealed in. The place was torn asunder with uprooted dirt, and battle scars. There was a large crater in the canyon floor. That was where InuYasha must have used the Backlash Wave, turning the dragon ash, and leaving no bones to be purified or buried.
Sesshomaru turned around, and walked away from the sight. I didn't say anything. He wouldn't want to hear it. I'm sure he realized that one of his father's enemies had been vanquished by his kid brother, and felt some type of way about that. We returned to the covert of the forest and carried on until the sun started to lean drowsily toward the west. Rin and I managed to start a fire before sunset hit and shrouded the world with darkness. As Rin and I set up camp, Sesshomaru stared at the foliage around us, before disappearing into the night. He was going to see Kagura. Who would have known that the visit would be so early?
You'd think he'd try to be a bit slicker about it after what happened in the hut today. [I]
'Let him see her if he wants to. I couldn't care less.'
Uh-huh. Regardless, there's no need to worry about it. Sesshomaru won't leave you. [I]
'I'm not worried about it.''[Me]
'Yeah, what you need is-[Conscience]
I ignored my conscience, preferring to move the logs within the fire to keep it burning. I wasn't going to deal with them, if they were going to tease me about this.
"Kazumi-chan, do you know where Lord Sesshomaru has gone?" Rin asked.
"I do, but can't tell you. You are too young to understand it." I told her.
She nodded, but dejectedly.
"Why does everyone say that Rin is too young?" She inquired.
"Well, we don't want you to know certain things because it would hurt how you think. We want you to stay the same for as long as you can." I answered with a smile.
She looked back up to me. She was, surprisingly, left in awe by my explanation.
"People would just tell Rin that they say Rin is too young because she is too young." She explained.
"Well, I promise to tell you what I can."
She nodded with more vigor. She's a jittery little tyke, but what can I say? At least she didn't run around the place screaming and laughing at nothing like many of the little kids I didn't like. She took me by the hand and led me over to Ah-Un. There, she bombarded me with questions.
"How come you looked different before?" she asked.
Her question didn't make much sense, but I pieced together what she meant.
"That was when I was a demon, now I'm human." I said as though it wasn't anything special.
Rin tilted her head out of confusion. The young girl tilted her head with confusion, pulling on my desire to hug her and never let go. Maybe, just maybe, if I
"How did you turn into a demon?"
"I do not know. I didn't think I could, but then it suddenly happened."
"When will you turn back into a demon?"
"According to Sesshomaru, when I become of age."
"Will you remember Rin?"
"Why wouldn't I?"
I was finding it easy to talk to Rin. She was innocent, and sweet. While her some of her questions threatened to push me into a change in vocabulary for reasons I will not explain, she didn't interrupt me, and accepted my answers, never trying to trick me into changing them or speak further on my euphemisms. She was a polite audience, something you don't run into every day.