I left the clinic feeling a lot lighter then before. Not only was the counselor I saw accepting of my lifestyle, but she helped me out with my emotions a great deal. I got a good cry out of my system in her office. She gave me all kinds of helpful advice. The most helpful advice Sally my counselor gave me was to always let out my emotions when they hit me instead of trying to hold them in. It was like visiting a knowledgeable friend. The only problem with seeing the counselor is that I am all keyed up right now. I need an exhausting activity to relax me. The question is what do I choose.
I remember all of the video games that I have played in my dorm so that is my decision. I need to go to the Student Union and play the most exhausting video game that I can find. Making a decision has added to my happiness level as I march towards my goal. I very rarely consider playing video games therapy, but that is what I am doing now. When I enter the Student Union, I put my bag in a locker and pay a quarter for the key so the bag won't get in my way. I start to feel energized as I follow the digital beeps and explosions to their source. I enter the arcade and I am assaulted by the flashing lights and sounds. Since it is Sunday, there are a few other people playing besides me. Now it is time to decide what game I want to play.
A game called Concert Party catches my eye. In this game, I sing a song while moving my body according to prompts on the screen. I just know that this will be the perfect way to work off excess energy. I put a dollar in the appropriate slot and I use a joystick to select the song I want to sing. Let's see. I need an intense song for my purposes. That is when the answer hits me. I select Livin' La Vida Loca. I grab the cordless mike and smack the start button. I hop up on the game pad and I wait for a ten second countdown to elapse. I use a martial arts pose to wait it out. I look down at the game pad where there are buttons where my feet will go at the appropriate times during the song. I really feel my heart beating when the countdown hits five. I countdown the numbers inside my brain. Four... Three... Two... One...
The game begins when the word "START!" flies across the screen. The screen is divided into three sections. The top section contains a digital icon representing me that moves every time I hit a button with my feet. The middle section contains the words of the song that run across the screen. The lower section has symbols that run across the screen that tell me where to place my feet and at what time. The symbols consist of circles, triangles, stars, and diamonds. I miss a couple of the cues at first, but I do a lot better when I go into my own little world. I pour out all of my sadness and all of my anger into the song. I pour out every mean thing Kaitlyn did to me. Since I am in my own little world, I do not know that I am starting to get a fan following. I do not hear the fans cheering as my feet are bouncing on the gamepad. I do not know that two of my fans are friends of mine. I only hear the words of the song as they are blasting from my mouth. "She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain!" I am starting to think that I might want to sing for a living. The game ends when the song ends. As soon as the game ends, I come back to reality and I hear two things. I hear beeping coming from the game and I hear a room filled with applause and cheers. I first look at the game and I see a message flashing on the screen in capital letters that makes me jump for joy.
"High score!" I cheer with my fists pumped in the air.
I put the microphone away and use the game's joystick to enter my initials. I turn around to bow to my adoring public. When I come back up from my bow, I see that Becca and Madison are at the front of my crowd. I see that Madison is practically jumping up and down for joy as if she had played the game. Becca's reaction is a little weird though. While she is applauding me, her eyes are almost circles and I tell that her heart is beating faster. I jump down from the game to meet two of my best friends which is the signal for my fans to disperse.
"I had no idea that you were so talented!" Madison cheers while hugging me.
"What did you think Becca?" I ask.
"Y-you... you w-were... great!" Becca replied with extreme difficulty.
That is funny. Whether Becca had been snotty or nice, I had never known her to be at a loss for words before.
"Are you okay, Becca?" I ask since she has been tongue tied ever since my masterful performance at the video game Concert Party.
"Yeah," Becca squeaks with her eyes wide open.
I can tell that my newest friend is lying and that she would be just as bad at poker as me. It would be a race between the two of us to see which one of us would lose her shirt first. I quickly shake my head until I get rid of that extremely attractive thought because I do not want to get distracted from what is really important.
"Becca, do you remember when you told me that we shouldn't be embarrassed to tell each other things if we are going to be friends?" I questioned with my hands folded together in front of me.
"This is something that I am not ready to tell you right now," Becca refuses with pleading wide open eyes that look like they might drop tears if I press the issue further. "Please let this go for now."
I look at Becca's best friend Madison for help and she just shrugs her shoulders. I can do nothing but nod my head forlornly at Becca since making Becca cry would be the last thing that I would ever want to do.
"Thanks," Becca acknowledged with a smile of relief.
"Portia, have you been crying recently?" Madison questioned to change the subject. "Your eyes look a little red."
"My session at the counselor was a little intense," I explained.
"You saw a counselor?" Becca squealed with joy while patting my back. "That's great!"
"You will be glad to know that I got all of your prescriptions filled," I informed my friend.
"Did they help?" Becca wanted to know.
"Yes, even though some of them were a little bitter to take," I answered.
"Madison, let's take Portia to the coffee shop so she can tell us everything that happened at the counselor," Becca offered. "Our treat!"
"That sounds like a plan!" Madison agreed.
"Thanks," I accepted. "I was surprised when I saw you two here."
"We were going to play the new Street Fighter game when we couldn't help but notice you belting out all of those lyrics so we had to change are plans," Madison explained.
"It was a beautiful thing to watch," Becca agreed.
Becca seemed enamored with my singing and dancing performance. She could barely speak afterwards. The only times that I ever lose my ability to speak was when I had a crush on some girl. There were a couple of times when Kaitlyn stole my ability to speak. Does Becca have a crush on me? How would I feel about that? I am certain that I have a crush on Becca, but I don't think that I am ready for another relationship yet. I am sorely tempted to take a risk at this point, but I know that would be foolish. It wouldn't be the first time that I did something foolish, but I would be playing with my heart.
"I have to get my bag before I leave," I declared.
As I was leaving the arcade with Becca and Madison following behind, I cringed when saw a Mortal Kombat game. I can't stand blood and guts. Maybe that is one advantage of not dating Kaitlyn anymore. Some of her horror movies got a little too intense for me. I scratch my red head in thought as I retrieve my bag from the locker. I think about what my life has become and what I want it to be. I think about what Becca means to me. I am distracted from my thoughts when we leave the Student Union and come across a huge marble fountain with water spraying twenty feet high.
My eyes got blurry for a second and when they return to normal, Becca and I are the only people around. We are playing in the middle of the fountain and splashing each other. We are having so much fun that we are both giggling like five-year-olds. We aren't acting like children when we start chasing each other inside the fountain. I soon catch Becca and lightly push her into one of the fountain walls. We kiss each other with our tongues searching each other's mouths. My body temperature is going through the roof. My flowered shirt and red skirt is completely drenched. Becca's blue dress is completely soaked. We don't care that our clothes are wet or that the hair on both of our heads is completely matted. I eventually get tired of kissing and yank off my flowered shirt which I quickly throw away. Becca is in the process of unzipping her blue dress when a voice cuts into my fantasy.
"Portia, Portia, are you okay?" Madison asks while waving her hand in front of my face.
A blush starts at the top of my head and goes all the way down to my toes as I look at Becca and Madison who are now looking at me like aliens. How am I going to explain this one?
I am totally embarrassed right now because I lost control of myself in front of Becca and Madison and daydreamed that Becca and I were making love in the fountain in front of the Student Union. Just when the two of us were about to get naked and really nasty, Madison called out my name and snapped me back to reality. I think that I might need more counseling because this is not the first time a fantasy about Becca has crept into my brain. I can tell by the way Becca and Madison are looking at me that they both can tell that something is up. I try to think up a decent excuse for my little mistake, but I know that it is a waste of time. Both of my friends would be able to see through my excuse because of the panicked look on my face. I don't think that I would ever be able to live it down if I told my friends what I was really doing.
"Are you okay, Portia?" Becca asked.
"Uh..." I blurted out because I just did not know what to say to her.
"You can tell us," Madison encouraged me while touching my shoulder which only made me jump. "I'm sorry."
"If you have a problem, please don't keep it to yourself," Becca prodded.
I need to think of something fast before I start crying. Finally, a brainstorm hits me which causes me to put a sly grin on my face.
"Well, Becca, if you are allowed your secrets than I am allowed to have mine," I spoke out with my arms folded across my chest.
"Oh," Becca coughed while blushing. "I'll go along with that."
"Let's go to the coffee shop," Madison suggested which caused me to sigh in relief.
I have a smug grin on my face while I walk to the coffee shop because of the cunning way that I escaped my predicament. Although I am a little disappointed that I didn't get to finish my fantasy. Maybe sometime I will make a special trip back to the fountain when I am by myself so that I can finish it. It is probably a good idea for me to stop thinking about it before I embarrass myself again.
The trip to the coffee shop doesn't take long. When we get there, I see several brown circular tables surrounded by wire chairs. I see a glass display under the cash register where you can see all of the pastries that the coffee shop sells. Working behind the cash register is a guy wearing a white tee shirt and blue jeans. When he sees me he comes over and gives me a hug.
"I heard what Kaitlyn did," Zig acknowledged me while patting my back. "I'm sorry."
"Thanks, Zig," I reply gratefully.
"How are you holding up?" Zig prodded while touching my shoulder.
"I'm a little better now," I answered. Sometimes I think Zig has a crush on me even though I am sure that he knows that I never paddle my canoe into his end of the lake.
"I'll be paying Portia's bill this time," Becca spoke out.
"I'll have a cheese danish and a hot chocolate," I ordered.
"I'll have a piece of cherry pie and a coffee with cream," Madison ordered.
"I'll have a bagel with lox and a black coffee," Becca put in.
Madison and Becca paid for our food and we all sat at a table in the middle of the room.
"So, spill!" Becca commanded when everyone sat down.
"For starters, I was a little nervous going to see the counselor," I began.
"Why?" Becca wanted to know.
"I have had a couple of counselors who have treated me like I had the flu when they found out that I am a lesbian," I replied with a frown.
"That's terrible!" Madison spoke in shock and disgust.
"But the counselor I saw today accepted my lifestyle and really wanted to help me," I went on with a smile.
"I think acceptance is school policy," Madison guessed.
"Sally had me tell her what happened and that is when the waterworks started," I declared with a frown which caused Becca to rub my arm for comfort. "Sally told me I needed to let out my emotions when I felt them to get better."
"That is good advice," Madison agreed. "Although I'm very sorry that the meeting was stressful for you."
"I brought Ernie along to take off some of the heat off," I explained. "Although, I am getting worried that I am getting dependent on him."
"Have you taken him everyplace with you?" Becca probed.
"I didn't need to take him to breakfast this morning," I answered.
"Then you aren't dependent on him," Becca confirmed. "As far as I'm concerned, you should do what do whatever it takes to feel better. If you need to take Ernie to get you through some stressful situations then I don't see anything wrong with it."
"The counselor suggested that I go jogging in the mornings to work off some of my emotions, " I added.
"Becca and I go jogging," Madison explained. "You can join us."
"I don't have anything to wear," I debated.
"You can borrow one of my outfits tomorrow and then you can buy your own," Becca suggested.
"I'll do that," I agreed.
"Just stop by our house at 5:00," Becca ordered.
Now that I felt that I covered the main points of my meeting, we ate our snacks and cleaned up our table. I waved bye to Zig as we left.
"How about we walk you home," Becca offered as soon as we got outside.
"I'd really like that!" I blurted out while beaming my best smile at Becca. "Do you want to know something weird?"
"Sure," Becca urged.
"Sometimes I think that Zig has a crush on me," I guessed.
"What's so weird about that?" Becca debated. "You are a hot babe who is very caring. How could he not have a crush on you?"
"Surely, he must know that I am a lesbian," I pointed out.
"Sometimes we want the things that we know we can't have," Madison guessed.
"I hear that you have a birthday coming up," Becca mused.
"Friday," I confirmed.
"Would you like it if I stopped by?" Becca offered.
"I would be disappointed if you didn't," I replied as I can feel myself starting to get hypnotized.
"How about me?" Madison probed to break the spell.
"Oh... yes... I would like it if you came too," I replied while blushing since I almost forgot that Madison was there.
I always love walking in warm weather since I am a nature lover. I get a smile on my face every time I am watching the trees and all of the animals even though I sometimes get worried about getting bombed by a militant bird. The heat always seems to rejuvenate me. I get depressed when everything dies during the winter. The walk ends all to soon for me and we enter the dorm. I get a queasy feeling in my stomach when I see that the lounge is completely empty and I hear loud voices coming from the dining room. Before I can do anything about it, the door pops open and Chris spots me.
"We need you inside, Portia," Chris ordered.
"We'll be going..." Becca started to say which caused me to grab her arm because I couldn't bear the thought of Becca leaving at the moment. "Do you need us to stay longer?"
"Please..." I pleaded with deer eyes because I just know something horrible is about to happen.
I slowly go into the dining room with Becca and Madison following. I see all of my friends standing with dark looks on their faces. Sitting at the head of the table are a middle-aged man and woman. My mouth pops open because they are two people that I thought I would never see again. They are Kaitlyn's parents. What do they want with me? Are they mad at me? Do they want to sue me for damages? My family can't afford a lawsuit now.