Dimitri didn't come back the whole night. What if I lost him forever? I didn't see him in the morning before I needed to go to Lissa. We needed to go Lehigh, so I was afraid I wouldn't see Dimitri the whole day. Well, not seeing him was better than having to work with him while we were in a fight. Of course Dimitri would put on his mask so it would seem he didn't care at all.

'Rose, are you okay?' Lissa asked worried when we drove to Lehigh. I was staring at the window, thinking about what I needed to say to Dimitri.

'I had a nightmare again' I muttered sadly.

'And Dimitri… Does he… know?'

'He woke me up'

'You mean…'

'I mean he knows. I mean he's angry at me and most likely will break up with me' I interrupted her.

'I'm so sorry to hear'

'Yo uwere right. I should have told him'

'If there's anything I can do for you…' she said, not finishing her sentence.

'I stared at the window again for the rest of the ride.

I tried to focus in class. It was hopeless to stare and think about everything. I needed to make sure I pass this year so I can keep guarding Lissa.

During break I texted Dimiti.

Me: Dimitri, can we please talk?

I kept looking at my phone the rest of the break.

'Rose?' Eddie asked.

'Yes?'

'Call him'

'No, he'll be too busy'

The class started again. I kept glancing towards my phone, but after an hour he didn't reply. I sent another message, but I didn't get a reply. I didn't pay attention. When the day finally was over I called Dimitri, but he ignored it.

'Please let him' Lissa said after my third try. 'He maybe needs some time.'

'But…'

'He'll be home tonight, you can talk to him then'

She was right. I would leave him alone.

When we came back to Court we all went our own way. Lissa went to Christian and eddie and I went to the gym.

'Did you talk to Lissa already?' I asked him.

'no, not yet. I only talked about it with you. And with Mia of course.'

'What does she think about it?'

'She said she really would like it if I become her Guardian, but she also says you were right, the rest of the world won't understand it… And the whole world will know it, if I decide to go for a reassignment.'

'I think, if I can give you some more advice, that you shouldn't think about it too long. You can stay in doubt for the rest of your life, but that won't make you happy.'

'How did you and Dimitri solve your problem?' he asked.

'Well… We both fought against what we both felt, for a long period. When we finally were together we made sure we would give our lives for Lissa and that we needed to trust one another that we could save our own lifes.'

'Hmm…' He seemed to be deep in thoughts.

'Whatever you'll chose, you'll find a way to have a life with Mia, and she with you'

We entered the gym. I was so into my chat with Eddie that I didn't notice there already was someone in the gym.

'I'll let you alone. I go to Mia' Eddie said.

I still didn't notice the person i the gym, until he walked away.

'Dimitri, wait' I said when I immediately recognized him. Of course he ignored me again. I followed him, walking fast, so I would get next to him.

'Dimitri, please'

He kept ignoring me, until we reached our apartment. there he finally spoke to me.

'I can't do this anymore

. I think I'll need to find things out to be able to go on. I…' For the second time since I met him he had tears in his eyes. 'I think I need some distance to find these things out. I'm so sorry Roza, I just… I can't do it this way.'

How did he dare to call me Roza when he actually broke up with me? I always hated his broken expression, but now it made me mad. Maybe we could have talked about this if I didn't react the way I always do when I'm hurt.

'Okay, got it. You don't love me enough to find this out with me. I know I hurt you by not telling you about the nightmares, but I did it to protect you, I did it to keep you away from the pain. I'm sorry I made this mistake, but you know I would do everything for you, I did everything for you. I endangered my graduation, my whole future, for you. It definitely was worth it, but I'm done with it now. You and Lissa are the only ones that actually can hurt me, and you did it over and over again. I'm done with it. I will always love you, that's for sure, but it's over now.' I said, while the tears were running down my face.

I only heard him whisper 'I'm so sorry Roza' before I left, fighting to push the tears back.

I returned to the gym. I needed to hit something. Thankfully there still was no one. I hit as hard as I could, swearing, crying, angry, sad, empty, feeling everything. I was exhausted after an hour. The adrenaline made my mood a little better. I took my bottle of water and walked to the shower. The hot water felt nice. I calmed down a little bit.

I was heading to the apartment to take all my stuff when I got a message from Lissa.

Lissa: Rose, come to my room! I need to tell you sth!

I sighed. I would need to take my stuff later. I stood in Lissa's room after ten minutes.

'Rose, where were you?' she asked.

'I was just heading to your room' I said, not telling the part where I tried to cheer myself up. 'What's up?'

She was very happy. 'Christian proposed!'

'Congratulations!' I said. I truely was happy for them, although the timing was really bad for me. 'Do you already have a date?' I asked.

'Not yet. I'm so happy! From the beginning I knew he was the one. He was so sweet and it was just perfect' she said dreamily.

'How did he ask you?'

'We were in our apartment and he was making dinner, my favorite one. I had to do some work, someone wanted to talk to me and it couldn't wait. When I came back the whole house was decorated with roses and that kind of stuff. The only light was candle light, super romantic. We ate our dinner and after that he sad on his knee and asked me to marry him'

She showed me the ring, which was absolutely beautiful.

Lissa was so happy she didn't notice my lack of enthusiasm. If I wanted to sleep somewhere else I needed to go now.

'Liss, I'm so happy for you, but I really need to go now' I said.

'See you tomorrow'

'See you'

On my way to the apartment I took a room for myself. I would look for a new apartment later. I broke when I came into the apartment. Thankfully Dimitri wasn't in the apartment. I took all my clothes and personal stuff, like the dresses I bought in Russia, the necklace Dimitri gave me, the red dress Tasha gave me before she started to hate me. I took my weapons, some toilet stuff and my music. The living room was the hardest. I grabbed the pictures with me and Lissa on it. I grabbed some pictures with me, Lissa, Christian and Dimitri on it. Two happy couples I thought sarcastically. As I walked out of the apartment I took one picture of only me and Dimitri, making a snow angel in Russia. It was the only thing I allowed myself to have of our memories together.

Author's note: this was the last chapter. Please don't shoot me for this ending, I'll write a sequel to this, but it can take a while before I can start updating. Anyways, thank you all for reading this till the end :)