OnePieceVids: Corazon

Title: OnePieceVids: Corazon
Rating: T
Fandom: One Piece
Summary: [Formerly Corazon and Trends] Corazon has an OnePieceVids channel. These are short stories tell how filming each video went. [Chapter 14: Vergo's Cooking Show]
Tags: Modern AU; OOCness; Snow Leopard Cub Law; Kittens Nami and Nojiko

The camera was sitting on a tripod, facing the kitchen. Corazon was tied to a chair with rope and duct taped covered his mouth. Vergo stood beside him, dressed in a chef uniform. Surprisingly, there was nothing sticking to the side of his face yet.

"Hello everyone," Vergo greeted. "I am Vergo, but you must all address me as either Vergo-san or Chef Vergo. Today I will be cooking some dishes that I'll be serving to Doffy on his birthday. Corazon has volunteered to be the taste tester,"

Corazon shook his head frantically while trying to somehow get the duct tape off.

"We will be putting together the meal for Doffy," Vergo placed the bento box on the counter. "We will be making some onigiri and a lobster pie. First we will start off by boiling a pound of lobster meat," Vergo grabbed a live lobster, tossing it into a large pot of water, and placed it on the stove.

Kikoku, who was nearby, grinned devilishly. He grabbed Tangerine and held her over the pot of boiling water. Tangerine squirmed and began to cry out. "Kikoku! Stop! DADDY HELP ME!"

Corazon struggled even harder in his binds and managed to somehow get the tape off. "KIKOKU! DON'T COOK YOUR SISTER!"

Vergo took Tangerine from the snow leopard and placed her down on the floor. "We are not making rabbit stew,"

Tangerine hopped towards her father, trembling from the traumatizing near-death experience. "K-K-Kikoku w-wanted t-to eat me!"

"While the lobster boils, we will be making the rice," Vergo scooped some rice into a rice pot and added some water. He cracked his knuckles and began to pound the rice, turning it into a paste.

"That's not how you wash rice!" Corazon yelled. "You just crushed them into a powder and it mixed with the water! You didn't even add that much water!"

"Oh, you're right," Vergo looked down at the sticky paste. "I turned it into a paste,"

Law hopped onto the table and looked into the pot. "Milk!"

"Law that's not milk!" Corazon tried to hop his seat towards him but fell forward.

Law stuck a paw into the paste and his paw wouldn't come out. "Daddy, my paw won't come out!"

Vergo didn't notice the cub and picked the pot up, bringing it over to the stove. "VERGO!" Corazon screamed. "DON'T COOK LAW!"

"Law, don't eat the rice yet," Vergo plucked Law off and placed him back on the counter. "It still needs to cook," He placed the pot on the stove and put a lid on it. "Now we will be making the lobster pie,"

"Tangerine, I need you to chew the ropes," Corazon whispered. Tangerine nodded and started to gnaw on the ropes.

"The recipe says to crush some snack crackers and oyster crackers," Vergo placed the crackers in a bowl and started to pound them with his fists, a crack forming on the counter. As he continued to crush the crackers, the crack grew bigger.

"It's a good thing we're moving to Doffy's," Corazon mumbled at the sight of his kitchen getting destroyed.

"Now I need to add melted butter, some dry sherry, and black pepper," Vergo did so, but didn't measure them out. He placed the boiled lobster in the casserole tray and topped it off with the cracker mixture. After dumping the rest of the butter, he tossed it into the oven and started to leave. "Corazon, don't burn the house down while I'm gone,"

"Does Vergo know that he forgot to turn the oven on?" Kikoku was helping Law wash the rice paste from his paw.

"That man is very forgetful," Corazon stood up and reached for the oven dials.

"STAY AWAY FROM THE OVEN!"

XXX

Vergo came back an hour later to Corazon's house being surrounded by firefighters. He shook his head. "Corazon, I told you not to burn the house down,"

"YOU WERE THE ONE THAT LEFT THE STOVE UNATTENDED!" Corazon snapped. "YOU FORGOT ABOUT THE RICE!"

"Oh, you're right," Vergo nodded. "I forgot about the rice on the stove,"

"Roci, for the first time of your life," Firefighter Dante said. "You were not the one that caused the house to catch fire,"

Corazon noticed Kikoku trying to roast Tangerine near the flames. "Damn it Kikoku! She's your sister, not food!" He ran towards them, tripping in the process.

Yep, it's a miracle that Corazon didn't cause the fire! This is also why Vergo isn't allowed to cook.
Kikoku seems to really want to eat Tangerine…