A/N: Its been way too long since I updated this too :P Sorry about that guys! I've been sick and studying for finals. This drabble is a bit longer than most so I hope it makes up for my absence! As always, drop me a line and let me know how I did! I love feedback from my readers. :) I'm not sure if I've done a disclaimer lately either so...

Disclaimer: If I owned them, I would give it to someone more creative than me lol

ENJOY!

My six fingers flew frantically across the abused keyboard, searching for the final piece of the puzzle. Over the past several months I had dedicated my time to deciphering the mysteries of our mutant turtle genome, and I was now moments away from mapping the entirety of my family's genetic makeup. The last several letters of Michelangelo's DNA appeared on my screen: G-C, A-T, T-A, T-A, C-G, A-T. Smiling exuberantly, I pushed my chair back, spinning around until I was dizzy as I rolled victoriously around my lab table. Slowing my rolling chair to a stop, I rested momentarily considering the possibilities now that I had sequenced it all; I could begin to understand what our genes meant and possibly the secret to our mutation! However, copious amounts of coffee or not, there was no way I could do any more tonight; the adrenaline rush that had accompanied my discovery was fading, leaving me exhausted.

Pushing my lab door open, I found Leonardo pacing relentlessly in the living room.

"You're up late. Raph's still out?"

He looked up and nodded curtly.

I sighed; Leo always did insist on waiting up for Raph, even if it was sure to make the situation worse."Come on, at least sit down. Pacing isn't going to make him get here any faster."

I plopped down on the couch, and stared patiently at him until he sat down too, if for no other reason than to pacify me.

"You don't have to wait up. You can go to bed, you know that right?" He sounded dead, the words dropping from his lips like lead weights, rehearsed. He was tired of the same routine, tired of fighting.

"I know I don't." I answered, observing him critically. There was no way he had been sleeping much. "What if I want to?"

He looked at me in amazement, seemingly unable to believe that someone would actually choose to spend time with him.

My dark hazel eyes met his steel blue."Before you say anything, no I don't hate you, and no you're not a terrible leader. Despite what Raph says we all including him, love you and think you're a good brother and leader."

A sardonic smile passed his lips and he tilted his head, "If you say so, Don. I have a hard time believing Raph feels any of that." He looked away, and quietly added "sometimes I don't think he feels anything at all. Well, except anger, maybe."

I put my hand on his shoulder, turning him back towards me. "Leo, you don't honestly believe that Raph hates you… Do you?" I dreaded the answer. Had our family slipped so far apart and I had not noticed?

"I honestly don't know how he feels," he continued, anguish palpable in his voice, "and I'm almost afraid to find out. It's hard to feel that he doesn't hate me most of the time." voice wavering, he cleared his throat. "That's usually why I wait up for him. I want him to know I care. I know he doesn't take it that way, but I have to show him I care..."

I dropped my hand from his shoulder and grimaced. He had a point. Raph was never one to apologize or make up for things. Mikey and I were always ok with the unspoken and unacknowledged 'you're forgiven' from Raph, but Leo had always needed verbal reassurance, otherwise, he carried that burden forever.

"I just don't understand."

His quiet admission shocked me. It was rare that Leo did not understand things, and while I had known for years it was true, hearing him admit it so plainly was unexpected to say the least.

"I don't understand at all" he repeated, dropping his head into his hands.

I breathed deeply, choosing my words carefully, "I don't think any of us really understand each other, at least not as much as we like to think we do."

I paused, waiting for him to speak, waiting for a reaction of some kind. He gave none. I fidgeted nervously and continued.

"I think Raph feels this more than the rest of us and his stress reliever is more obvious, too. I don't think he goes out to annoy you; it's just the only thing that relieves stress for him. And he feels like you don't understand that."

Leo looked over at me incredulously. "But the rest of us don't feel the need to go gallivanting around topside risking our lives!" He threw his hands up in confusion.

"When I get stressed, I can go in my lab and work. Mikey can play video games or read comics, and you enjoy meditating and doing extra katas. Raphael hasn't found something like that to help him. Beating the shit out of things is what helps him." I shrugged. "I'm not saying it's the smartest thing to do, or that it doesn't hurt us sometimes but that's what he does. That's who he is but he feels that you think he isn't good enough and never will be."

Leo opened his mouth hesitantly, conflicting emotions, tempered with horrible understanding marring his face. Finding his voice, he whispered, "He thinks that?"

I swallowed hard, Leo wanted the truth, but it was going to hurt. "He thinks you hate him for who his is. He believes that you don't even see him as a brother because he doesn't meet your standards."

A strangled sob escaped my older brother and he covered his face, shaking. I reached for his hands, pulling them down from his face, and dragging him into an embrace. He clung to me, refusing to let go, and I hugged him back with equal force.

"I'm sorry, Don." He finally choked out, extracting himself from my arms.

I stood, "Stop. You have nothing to be sorry for. Come on, let's head to bed. We're both tired, and Raph will still be here in the morning."

He nodded, smiling weakly at me. "Thanks, Donny.."

"Come on, Fearless."I grinned, "Let's go. You can sleep in my room if you want."

He laughed, "Ok, just don't tell Mikey, because he'll be upset we didn't wake him to invite him."

"Oh, God, that would be whining of epic proportions." I shook my head.

To our surprise, Mikey met us at the top of the stairs, bouncing "Did I hear something about a turtle sleep over?"

"Mikey why are you even awake?" I rolled my eyes. "And why do you have so much energy? Its 4am for crying out loud!"

"I had to pee and on my way back I heard you mention a turtle sleepover! I get middle! Hehehe!" He bounded off into my room.

I looked at Leo and shrugged, "I guess we're stuck with him anyway."

"Yeah, " he snorted, then looked at me seriously, "but, Don, thanks… I needed that. I'll talk to him in the morning."

I waved my hand dismissively, "I'm not worried about it. Let me know if I can do anything"

The sound of Mikey jumping on my bed violently echoed out into the hallway. I groaned.

Leo chuckled, "Sounds like we'd better get in there before he breaks something."