Nico

A/N

Sorry for the slow update ;_;

Admittedly, however, I do have a brilliant excuse … I was busy reading HOUSE OF FREAKIN HADES

No Spoilers, but let me just say: GAAAAHHHHHHHASDFGHJKLzxcbvnm

That is the only way I can sufficiently describe its brilliance and mind-bogglingness

But all that is behind us for now … and here is the next chapter.

Side Note: I'm touching on Nico's past a bit more here – I know I haven't really played up the whole 'his memories were wiped in the river lethe' thing yet, and I felt as though I should. Yeah.

So much angst!:

Following his gaze, I gasped as I realised what I was looking at.

Beneath the tattered shirt remains, burns danced across his chest.

I looked back up to see Leo staring at my chest, a horrified expression in his wide eyes. Mouth opened in an 'o' shape, he slowly stretched out a hand, fingertips visibly shaking as he brushed them across the burns that ran down my left side. I couldn't help but wince at little at the contact, attempting to bite back the little gasp of air that left my mouth. When he glanced up at my face, I knew I'd failed.

He drew his hand back, eyes locked on mine with a pained expression. This was why I hadn't wanted this to happen; even though he had no real control over his ability, and when I'd entered into this relationship I had accepted all the consequences of that fact, he would still blame himself for it.

The other times I'd easily managed to hide the damage he had unknowingly done; our haunts were often dark, and I'd always had a spare shirt to quickly shrug on in order to hide all physical evidence. We'd part ways like nothing was wrong, and in my room I'd down a little ambrosia and nectar. After that I'd be fine; the momentary pain was a fair price to pay for the pleasure of Leo's company; it wasn't like I enjoyed it, however – that's why I'd been convincing him to practice controlling the fire. He had been getting better; in fact it'd been almost a week since we'd had an occurrence … until now. I would quite happily dismiss this, but I knew he wouldn't.

Leo still hadn't spoken. I wasn't sure if that was simply because he was shocked, or angry at himself – probably both.

I gently stepped away from him and pulled myself up onto the fountain's edge, gritting my teeth to stop a wince. There was no need to make this harder for him than it already was.

Shoving my hand into the pocket of my jeans, I drew out a slightly squashed and crumbling bag of ambrosia squares. Water ran down the plastic, dripping onto my knees as I pulled it open. Selecting one, I raised it to my lips. As I chewed, my mouth was filled with the taste of beef stew, thick, with a hint of potatoes. The same as it always was. I often wondered why this dish was so special to me – I hadn't had it during my time at the Lotus Casino, or afterwards, which meant that it was something from my forgotten past. Perhaps my mother had made it for me?

Sometimes I imagined that I could remember her; her hands on my shoulders as she kissed me on the tip of my nose, her dark hair brushing against my cheek. However, I knew these 'memories' were only things I had fabricated. The River Lethe completely removed all chance of any recollection; it wasn't the sort of thing you could recover from. All I had of my past was what my father had told me, and even that couldn't be trusted.

I hadn't told Leo about this. He knew about the Lotus Casino, and everything that had happened since then, but what he knew of my past before that was only what Hades had told me. I had never explicitly said to him these were things I actually remembered, but he just assumed, as most people would. And I let him. It wasn't something I liked to speak about.

I shook myself from these dark thoughts as the last of the ambrosia dissolved, looking up instead to Leo, who was watching me with a serious, somewhat sad expression. I glanced away from those unhappy brown eyes to my chest, where the burns were rapidly receding, fading away to reveal unblemished skin.

Without a word, I reached a hand out to Leo, who took it, allowing me to draw him to my side, seating him on the fountain's edge. As my arms encircled him, he made no move to resist – but neither did he reciprocate. He sat stiffly, arms at his side and eyes lowered.

I was the first to speak, to break the tenuous silence.

'It's not your fault, you know.' I said softly. He flinched, but didn't reply, even as I continued.

'I made the decision to be your boyfriend. I knew the potential dangers and decided that it was still worth it.'

At this he pulled away, and finally looked up at me. A spike of pain pierced my heart as I saw the torment on his face.

'How can you say that?' he demanded. 'I hurt you. I did. I promised – I promised after my mother, that I wouldn't use my power ever again … until I got to camp, I didn't. But now, now I can't even control it, I can't stop this, I can't stop – I can't stop hurting you.'

My heart cried out in sympathy at the anguish in his voice. I had known this wouldn't be easy, but I had to help him through it. Gently, I spoke.

'Leo, I –'

I was cut off by a raised hand and a word.

'No. Hear me out, please. You - you have to understand. Out of anyone, out of anyone you're the person I want to protect. I promised myself I would look after you. I promised that if you ever had to go through anything as terrible as Tartarus ever again, that I would be there with you, to keep you safe. But I can't even protect you from me.'

'But Leo. I'm here now. I'm with you, and look at me, I'm fine.' I said softly, taking his hand in mine. Water still beaded on my skin, but his hand was warm and dry. At the contact, his fingers curled slightly around mine. It wasn't much, but it gave me hope. I had feared that when this time came, Leo's sense of protectiveness would force him to purposely distance himself from me. I hoped with all my heart that would not be the case.

He chose not to talk for a few moments, and I could see in his creased forehead that he was thinking deeply. Finally, he spoke.

'I should tell you that we can't be together anymore. That would be right thing to do, the thing that would be best for you.'

At his words I stiffened; it seemed my instincts had been right. I opened my mouth to protest. I couldn't cope without Leo, his presence, his hand in mine, tethering me to reality, letting me know that there was something worth living for. I placed so much more value on my life now that he was in it. Didn't that mean anything?

However, he hadn't yet finished.

'But I can't. That's terrible, isn't it? It's so selfish … even though I'm hurting you, hurting the one person that means the most to me, I can't bring myself to stop. Is that bad?'

As he said this, his gaze locked on me. I surveyed him for a few seconds, then lent forward and gently pressed his lips to mine. Drawing back, I smiled, somewhat sadly.

'I'm glad. I know if I was in your position I would be far too selfish to give you up, no matter the pain I was causing you. I'm glad that I'm the one person that means the most to you. I'm glad that I don't have to convince you that we belong with one another.'

His other hand found mine, tangling us together, a circle of bodies. His pulse beat quickly in his wrist, pressed against mine. Hesitantly, I leant sidewards, giving him time to voice his protest. When none came, I gently leant my head on his shoulder, wet hair on wet fabric on wet skin. When his next words came, they were spoken softly into my ear.

'Please promise me you'll tell me next time I hurt you. Please.'

'Is that really necessary?' I asked. 'You'll only torture yourself pointlessly.'

'No. Because I'm never going to hurt you again.' he said defiantly. 'I will learn to control this power, even if it means that I can't be as close to you as I'd like. I will not hurt you.'

I supposed that was the best I could wish for – even if we did have to keep our distance, at least we were still together. When I answered him, I knew the words that I said were the truth. Even if it caused him pain, I would respect his request.

'I promise.'

We sat together in silence, the air around us fragile and innocent. We were still together. We had survived the first of our challenges, though it was sure not to be our last. And in that moment, a still, small voice whispered into my soul. A little thing, barely audible; perhaps that was because it was simply telling me something that, really, I already knew.

I love him.

Even as the words reverberated through me, I knew there was no denying them. I loved Leo Valdez and there was nothing I would not do for him. If I had to give my life for his, I would gladly do it. I would follow him to the ends of the earth, and then step off it, if that was what he wished.

I could feel the blush spreading across my cheeks as these thoughts came to me, and I was glad that my face was hidden.

I committed the words to myself, a silent promise that I vowed to keep.

I love Leo Valdez, and nothing will take that away from me.

A/N

So! I hope you al enjoyed that, even though it really was more angst than fluff (Gods when did this happen?!)

I am at war with myself because now there's all these things I want to put in (knowing what I know after HoH) but i can't because Spoilers.

But anyways. The point of this is to update on my new PJO story. I've had a few people asking what the heck happened too it, and I can happily say that yes, it does still exist. I had to put it on hiatus for a short time, as I knew it would be affected by the events of HoH, but now I can happily write it in a somewhat-canonical sense and everything is well. So that should exist soon!