14

bpov

These past two months have been nothing short of amazing. Coming home to Edward has to be the best part of my day, everyday. The way his eyes light up the second I walk into the room.. It's obvious that the nine hours we spend apart daily are just as hard on him as they are on me.

We laugh. A lot. I haven't laughed this much in well... in five years.

If I cry, it's because I'm laughing so hard.

We even laughed our way through the awkward "boyfriend/girlfriend" conversation.

We went out to dinner with Seth, a friend of Edward's, and Edward called me his girlfriend. We hadn't put a title on our relationship, so I sat silent in shocked wonder. I mean, it was obvious we were something. We were living together for crying out loud!

But he never asked me to be his girlfriend. And I made sure he knew it.

Seth and Edward were laughing at Edward's comment about how 'you don't mess with his girlfriend, or you'll regret it.' Damn straight. But not my point. I sat silent for a few minutes processing what he had said.

I had wondered what exactly we were. I mean I'm a girl, we wonder about these things. Was I his girlfriend? Roommate? Friend with benefits? I had no idea if I had a real claim on him.

Then I realized it was Edward. Of course he assumed. What Edward wants, he gets. He just sometimes forgets about the details to get what he wants.

"I'm not your girlfriend, Edward."

Both Edward and Seth turned to me shocked.

"What?!"

I could see Edward starting to freak out, and ready to launch out of his chair to pace or something. He ran his hand nervously through his hair about five times in 10 seconds.

I began to giggle. God, I wish I had a recording of this.

"What the hell are you laughing at?"

Edward glared at me while Seth just kept looking back and forth between us, nervously.

"You should see yourself right now," I said.

And I officially lost it. I couldn't contain myself to giggles anymore. I've never seen Edward's eyes so big.

"This isn't funny, Bella!"

I laughed harder. He sounded like a four year old ready to throw a tantrum. He sat there and glared at me until I finally sobered up.

"What do you mean you're not my girlfriend?"

His jaw clenched; he was obviously pissed. I smiled innocently back.

"Well, you never asked me."

Realization dawned in Edward's eyes and he busted out laughing.

"You had me flipping out, Bella! For a second there, I thought I would be moving out by the end of the night!"

I joined in his laughter because Edward's mind can jump 10 steps ahead sometimes. It can make life harder, but I tend to just roll with it. He'll overreact and I'll silently laugh it off.

"Seriously, love, you had me freaking out!"

He continued talking through his laughter, but he was laughing so hard I couldn't understand what he was saying. Add in my laughter and we didn't stand a chance to understand each other.

We began to sober up and Edward stands. He's still chuckling a little bit but he's under control.

Then he stands on his chair.

He's going to do something. And it's going to be embarrassing.

I drop my head and hide my face in my hair. This can't be good.

"Ladies and gentlemen. I apologize for interrupting your dinner but may I please have your attention?"

I covered my face in my hands and groan. I'm currently the color of a tomato. Thanks, dear.

Edward keeps chuckling as he continues.

"It has come to my attention that the lovely lady before me is not my girlfriend. I would like to rectify that tonight. Not only is she beautiful but she is also kind, intelligent, and a true angel. So before all these witnesses tonight, I ask you, Bella, would you please do me the honor of being my girlfriend?"

My face was a whole new kind of red. I silently wished I could go back to tomato red.

The whole room was silent, awaiting my response.

I'm going to kill him for this.

I nod my answer, keeping my face hidden. Of course I'll be his girlfriend, but I wasn't looking up. No fucking way.

"I'm sorry, love, but would you please answer me?"

I looked up and glared at him. He smiled innocently back. He knew exactly what he was doing.

I'm slipping a red sock in with his load of white clothes.

"Yes."

It was barely above a whisper. I couldn't fucking speak. There had to be at least 100 people looking at me!

"I'm sorry, love. Could you speak up?"

I glared at him before screaming.

"Yes! Yes dammit! I'll be your damn girlfriend! Happy now?!"

Edward nods enthusiastically then busts out laughing, still on top of his fucking chair. For a minute I considered kicking the legs of the chair and knocking him down... off his damn high horse.

But there were too many witnesses. Witnesses who were all cheering and clapping, and of course, staring at me. He's cut off. It's official. No sex until further notice.

Edward jumped off his chair still laughing at my expression and walked to my side of the table. He pulled me in his arms and kissed me passionately. His warm, soft lips burned into mine and the world around us melted away.

He pulled us out of the kiss. Good thing, too. I would have kept us going and gave our audience one hell of a show.

He started laughing again and no matter how hard I tried to fight it, and fight hard I did, I starting laughing along with him.

He was only cut off for two hours.

It was just too hard. And I mean hard.

That was three weeks ago. He eventually got yelled at for it. I believe it was after my fifth, hell maybe my sixth, orgasm.

But then he went down on me and all was forgiven.

Esme released her public apology as promised. My face burns every time I see my face plastered on a newspaper. People Magazine wants to do an article about it. Diane frickin' Sawyer wants to do a prime time interview.

Apparently, we're a modern day fairytale.

I'm still refusing to do the article or interview. But Edward being Edward won't let this go, which has led to our first fight since we reconciled.

And I'm pissed.

"Come on, love! I want my privacy just as much as you do but this is a good thing!"

I glare at him.

"How the hell could you ever see this as a good thing?! It's national! You want privacy? You're giving that up the second we agree to this!"

Edward rolls his eyes.

"It was national news when we split, too. The whole world needs to know you're innocent. I refuse to let anyone believe that you're the guilty party! Just give it up! We need this!"

I resist the urge to punch the wall.

"No, I will not 'give it up,' Edward! If you want everyone to know the truth, then buy some phone books and start making some damn calls! I will not be plastered on some magazine like some celebrity! The paparazzi has finally stopped showing up at my work, I'm finally getting my privacy back!

And I don't give a damn what the world thinks. The only people who matter know the truth! We're talking about millions of strangers butting into our lives!"

Edward pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. After a minute of silence, he responds in a soft tone.

"Bella, if you're with me you're never going to have complete privacy. You know this. Being with me means paparazzi and rumors and strangers knowing your name. I don't like it, but that's the way it is. I'm a Cullen, love. I can't change it. So, if you can't handle this then tell me now and I won't say a word. I'll go pack my things and you'll never hear from me again."

I stare at him shocked. What the hell do you say to that?

Edward keeps his head down, refusing to make eye contact. I can see him bracing himself, waiting for the impact of my words.

A tear falls from my eye. He's right. We will never have complete and total privacy. He's a Cullen. I've been through this before, why is it so much harder now?

When Edward and I split I was followed constantly by photographers. Questions were fired off left and right; I could barely keep my head on straight.

It was months before I could leave my house without Emmett to protect me.

I was accused, plastered on the news. It's surreal to see yourself on CNN because of a break up. To see yourself bashed left and right. To not be able to turn on a TV and hear about how horrible of a person you are.

That's why it's harder now.

I've been silent for too long and I can see Edward slump in defeat.

"Edward... I don't want you to go."

Edward snaps his head up and I can see the tears swimming in his eyes. He really believes I will let him go. The only way he is ever leaving me is if he is pried from my cold, dead fingers.

I heave a sigh and take a step forward.

"Edward, did you ever turn on a TV within the first few months of us splitting up?"

I can see the confusion clouding Edward's eyes. He shakes his head 'no' but keeps silent.

I exhale a shaky breath.

"I did. And every time I did I saw my face. Or pictures of us. Or footage of us being followed. Edward, I couldn't turn on the TV without hearing how horrible I was. How I was a gold digger, or a traitor, you name it and I was called it.

A panel on the E! Channel dubbed me 'the black fiance.' I was the new 'black widow' but instead of murdering you I just ruined you. And the name stuck. I turned on MSNBC to watch the news and even they were calling me the 'black fiance.'

Do you know what that's like?"

I can see the pain in Edward's eyes. It starts to be overshadowed by guilt.

"Edward, don't blame yourself. None of this was your fault. I'm just scared. Scared something like that will happen again.

I had to change my number six times. After a while I just stopped leaving home and kept my phone turned off. The only people I saw were Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and occasionally Alice. And they were constantly horded by the the paparazzi, too.

The only time I would emerge from my apartment was to go see you, to try to get you to believe me. I don't want you to blame yourself over this but you have got to understand my point in all of this.

We'll be back in the spotlight. All eyes on us. And if we break up again? 'The Black Fiance strikes again' will be the headline for weeks."

Edward sighs and sits down on the couch. He leans forward and puts his face in his hands. I keep silent, giving him time to process all of this information. This was a lot bigger than he really knew.

I'm glad he didn't know at the time. He would have felt worse. He would never want that to happen to me, ever.

Edward sighs again and looks up at me.

"Come here, love."

He extends his arms and I walk forward and crawl into his lap. He kisses my temple and buries his face in my hair.

I revel in the feeling of being in his arms. The pain I endured reliving those memories is forgotten. I've got Edward. That's what matters.

"Love, I am so so so sorry."

I sigh.

"I don't want you to be sorry. I just want you to understand why I am afraid."

He pulls back and looks into my eyes.

"I do understand. So if you don't want to do this we won't. But please try to understand my side of this before you give your final word.

All those people who said all of those terrible things will be proven wrong publicly. Your name will be cleared. The Cullen press releases can only defend you so much. I think you need to make a stand. Set the record straight. Not for all those people, not for revenge, but for you. You obviously went through a lot because of them. Now you have the proof to stand up for yourself.

But if you don't want to do this then say the word now and we'll never talk about it again."

I rest my head against his chest and close my eyes. He's right. I took so much shit from the media. And I never said a word. I never protested my innocence, never told them they were wrong.

I let them walk all over me.

"You got Diane Sawyer's number?"

Edward pulls back and looks at me, smiling. There's another reason to do this. Right in front of me. That smile right there.

Edward leans forward and brushes his lips against mine.

"I'm proud of you, Bella."

I smile and kiss him again. We begin to make out passionately until our phone rings. Edward pulls back and groans. I giggle and wink at him before jumping off his lap and running for the phone.

"Hello?"

"I'm so excited you're going to do the interview! You have to let me dress you!"

I roll my eyes. Alice.

"Dammit, Alice! Stop watching my future or whatever it is you do! Or you could have at least given me an hour or two before you called. I was busy!"

"Please, you two fuck like bunnies! I'm amazed his dick hasn't fallen off!"

I scrunch my nose up in disgust.

"Ew, Alice. That's your brother you're talking about."

"Oh you think that's bad? Try getting the visions. The hundreds and hundreds of visions. Do you ever sleep?"

I blush. I've become rather accustomed to less sleep. It's worth it.

"Anyway. Yes, we're doing the interview. Yes, you can dress me. Keep it in my comfort zone. Go have fun."

Alice screeches in a way only Alice can and I can hear her running around her house in excitement. I hope Jasper isn't home. He'll be dizzy within minutes of watching her.

"I'm so excited, Bella! I've got so much to do! Talk to ya later, bye!"

Click.

I pull the phone back and stare at it for a moment.

What have I done?

I've unleashed a god damn monster!

The only other time she made that sound was when I told her she could style me for my wedding.

I put the phone down and turn to look at Edward horrified. I can see him on the verge of laughing. I'm sure he figured out what happened just from hearing my side of the conversation.

After a few more seconds, it becomes too much for him and he busts out laughing.

I can't even glare; I'm still horrified. This means shopping and primping and prodding... Oh God.

Hours and hours and hours of Alice.

I glare.

"You do realize how much of my time she will be taking, right? Pull out the take-out menus and get ready to jerk it because you aren't going to be seeing me for a while."

That shut him up.

"How the hell could she take that much time? It's one outfit, and she won't be doing hair and make up until the day of?!"

Now it's his turn to be horrified.

Ha ha, fucker.

"Like I have any idea! This means salons and spas and just… Alice!"

Edward groans.

"This is your fault, you know. You convinced me to do this! So when you're home alone horny as hell remember your little 'stand up for yourself' speech!"

Edward stares at me wide-eyed.

Then his expression turns to pleading.

"Can I take it back?"

I roll my eyes.

"Of course you think with your penis. No, you can't take it back. Alice knows!"

Edward sighs and sits in silence for a minute.

"By the way, what was it she said about me that made you say 'ew?'"

I laugh.

"Are you sure you want the answer to this one?"

Like a dumbass, he nods. He's going to be horrified.

"Well first she told me she's surprised your 'dick doesn't fall off because we go at it like bunnies.' Then she started talking about her vision thingies. Apparently there are hundreds and hundreds. She asked if we ever sleep."

Horrified would be an understatement for his expression.

"You mean… you mean to tell me... you mean.. SHE SEES?!"

I nod fighting back laughter at his expression. Bug eyed, slack jawed..

"YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT MY BABY SISTER SEES?!"

I nod, biting my tongue. I really should have told Emmett to keep the video camera up. This is too good. And Emmett would get a kick out of this. Just thinking about Edward's face right now and Emmett's reaction causes me to lose it.

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life.

I fall off the couch and roll on the floor.

Edward just stares at me, still bug eyed.

I'm not going to stop laughing until he stops. It's too fucking funny.

After about five minutes Edward snaps out of it. He runs into the laundry room. That sobered me up. Curious, I follow him. I get there in time to see him grab a gallon of bleach then he starts running around the house.

"Edward, what are you doing?"

Edward keeps running around the house apparently looking for something.

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"It looks like you're running around the house like a crazy person."

Edward stops and turns to me.

"I'm looking for my car keys so I can drive to Alice's house and pour bleach in her brain."

He resumes running around the house.

I laugh at him. Dumbass.

He finally finds his keys and runs out of the house. Without shoes.

I pause.

Oh dear God he's serious.

I run out of the house, chasing after him without shoes. Someone up there loves me because I don't trip.

"Edward! You can't do that!"

He jumps in his car and turns it on when I reach the passenger door. I wing it open.

I do what I have to do. I use 'the voice.' The one weapon all women posses to stop a man in his tracks.

"Edward Anthony Cullen!"

He freezes.

"You will do no such thing! Get your ass out of this car and back into the house! Now!"

Like a robot, he turns off his car and walks back into the house. He puts the bleach away like a good little boy then sits on the couch.

I stand in front of him with my hands of my hips.

Damn, I'm awesome.

"Do I really have to tell you what you did wrong?"

Avoiding eye contact Edward shakes his head 'no.'

I nod and plop down on the couch next to him. He seems so tense. I have the perfect solution.

I run my hand along his thigh. He sits there, frozen. I run my hand back and forth a few times and still get no reaction. I pull up and grab his dick. The holy grail.

Edward jumps up, almost knocking me off the couch.

"We can't do that! Alice will see!"

I roll my eyes.

"So we're never having sex again? Ever? For the next 80 years we are never ever having sex again?"

Edward finally makes eye contact. I can see him battling it out. There's no way in hell we're never having sex again. I give it 30 seconds. One minute max.

He keeps silent, still weighing his options. Then he gives me a piercing stare. He launches forward and picks me up, throwing me over his shoulder. I giggle. I love it when he goes all cave man on me.

"We're just going to have to stick to quickies."

I snort. Like that'll ever happen.