I remember to shake his hand at the end and thank him for the opportunity to tell him why I think I'd be a valuable member of the Radio Shack team.

"You're welcome. Do you have any questions?"

"Um, how soon will I hear back?"

"Well, Monday is Memorial Day, so let's say Tuesday at the soonest, next Friday at the latest."

"Great, thank you, Sir. Have a good weekend."

"You, too, Jonathan."

As I head out to the car, I feel like this is all happening so fast. Not that I'll necessarily get the job, but I turned in my application on Tuesday, got the call about the interview on Wednesday, and here it is Friday.

If I don't get it, well, I'll turn in some other applications that I've been working on, but this is my first choice. I still don't know what field of science I'll go into, but this should be good experience in any case. And it'll be nice to have some spending money this summer. And, OK, it'll mean that I can start seeing Sam.

Yeah, I know we didn't have to make the offer about me being employed before taking Sam out, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Plus, now Tony's working this summer, so I don't want to be the only one hanging out at home all day. It was different last year.

OK, I'll admit that I'm nervous about dating Sam. In a totally different way than I was nervous about the fling. Then I was afraid of sex (while really wanting it) and afraid of developing feelings for Sam (which I guess was inevitable). This is actually scarier because there will be witnesses. If things hadn't worked out with the fling, well, it was just a fling. If this doesn't work, people will know. And whether or not it works, people will have an opinion on it.

Sam told me she told Charlie. Not about the fling. So far, Grandma and Dr. Hollis are still the only ones who know what really happened last summer, and they don't know everything.

I was annoyed that she told Charlie, but I understand. And she's right, it's not supposed to be a secret. Still, I really hope Charlie doesn't tell Al. I'm not ready to deal with that yet.

It's kind of weird to remember that Sam went out with Al. She's told me that he was too crude for her, which isn't much of a surprise. I mean, I guess I can be pretty crude, too, but more in a gross geek sort of way, like when I applied Grandma's lessons on using my nose for a juice dispenser. Anyway, she was 16 and he was 19 or 20, which yeah, is the same age difference between me and her, except that no one (except Tony) cares if the guy is older.

When I was 16, Sam was already married to Hank. I knew I had to really start getting over her, but I was 16. I couldn't stop my attraction. At least I never acted on it, and never would've, if she hadn't started things last summer.

She had a chance to get back with Hank, when he found out she was pregnant, but, although she was tempted, she said no. And she could've gone out with Guido the other night. I mean, he seemed like a nice enough guy, although he didn't say much. But she told me that she'd rather wait for me, and it's not like she's desperate to date.

She's never had trouble attracting guys. In all the years I've known her, there's maybe been one or two she wanted and couldn't have, and that includes her grad student crush (even older than Al), and he turned out to be married and oblivious to her interest. I in contrast, well, there was the time I spent most of Spring Break calling up different girls, hoping just one would say she'd go out with me. Grandma actually felt sorry for me, so you know how pathetic I was.

Let's face it, even if Sam and I were the same age, she would be totally out of my league. But then, if Mom and Tony (who have a two-year age difference) had dated in high school, people would've wondered what a good-looking, popular jock was doing with the shy, mousy, fat girl with glasses, braces. and acne.

When it was mostly just our secret, mine and Sam's, there was no one to say, "Hey, Bower, you think you're good enough for a hot, popular girl like her?" I didn't even really say it to myself, because I didn't feel like Jonathan the Geek, or at least if I did, it didn't feel like it was a bad thing. She liked that I was a nerdy nice guy. It seemed to be what she needed after the crap Hank and to a lesser degree Matt put her through.

And, yes, I know we're not who we were, say, five years ago. But it's not like I grew up to be cool. Even Mom hasn't managed that, and she's been out of high school for over 25 years. She is elegant, graceful, and I guess beautiful, but she's not cool. The Micellis just are naturally cool, without trying. Even with lingering pregnancy weight and a tendency to be sloppy on her days off (which I understand, she's got a little baby to take care of), Sam still looks amazing. Even dressed for an interview, I look like I'm hours away from a bad hair day and like my clothes are the wrong size. (OK, this is a hand-me-down suit from Tony, but he did clean and press it for me.)

I can't help feeling like, aside from the age difference and the step-sibling-hood, people are going to look at me and Sam and say, "What's she doing with him?"

And then there is the age difference and the step-sibling-hood. The people who know us are going to at best think it's weird and at worst think it's disgusting. Even strangers will probably think I look too young for her. Maybe I should grow some facial hair.

God, it is weird! I'm just remembering how she used to make fun of me when I first got old enough to shave. I'm dating that girl! The girl who used to make fun of me for all sorts of things, especially when we were both teenagers. What am I doing?

The problem is, I like her. A lot. And we've both grown up since then. And even if it is weird, who cares what people think? Well, we care, but what matters most is what we think, right?

When I get home, I tell Tony how the interview went. He again wishes me luck, even though it brings me one step closer to dating his daughter. Then I let him get back to planning out his summer classes.

I want to go over to Sam's but I feel self-conscious about it during this limbo period, before we're officially dating. So instead I go upstairs, take the phone extension into my bedroom and call her. (I know, I should get a cellular phone. Well, maybe once I get a job.)

She doesn't pick up right away, but I'm used to that. Sometimes she's taking care of Val and can't get to the phone. I'll listen to her voice on the answering machine and then say something like, "Hey, Sam, just wanted to catch up. Talk to you later." She usually doesn't call back unless she's sure that Tony or Mom won't answer. She feels self-conscious about this, too.

I get as far as "Hey, Sam—" when she picks up.

"Sorry about that. I just got her Royal Highness to sleep."

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I wake her?"

"No, it's fine. How was your interview?"

So we talk about that. I remember going to KFC with her ten months ago, after she interviewed for her current job. It seems like another life.

"So what are we going to do if you get this job?"

I laugh in relief. This is weird for her, too. She's as scared as I am. After all, she hasn't dated anyone new in over three years, and that was definitely another life.

"Make the best of it," I say. "Take it slow. And if it feels too uncomfortable, we just end it. It's like when we, um." I can't say it out loud. I'm always half afraid Tony will be listening in on one of the extensions downstairs. He never acts like it, but I wouldn't put it past him. Eavesdropping is a hobby in this family. (Grandma, however, is the only one who spies on the neighbors with binoculars. You should hear what she told us about Guido and Mrs. Wilmington!)

"Right." She probably has the same suspicions I do. "We're going to see how it goes. And if it's just not working out, then we drop it."

"OK."

"So if you get the job, you want to come over next weekend?"

"Yeah, I'd like that."

"Cool. I may even cook."

"Striped food?" I say, since we did blue and orange at crucial points.

"Hm, yeah, I could do that. Or spotted. We'll see."

"I look forward to it."

"You have to pay for the movie rental though."

"Hey, you're the one with an established career."

"Just because I'm a feminist, it doesn't mean I don't want to be courted. I learned that from your mother."

"OK. Maybe I'll bring you flowers, like your father taught me."

"Jonny, this is so weird."

"I know, Sammy, I know."

"No, don't call me that. It sounds like Sammy Davis, Jr., or Sammy Hagar."

"Mantha?"

"Hm, maybe. Let me think about that one." Val starts crying in the background. "Sorry, I've got to go."

"OK, talk to you later."

After we hang up and I return the phone to the hallway, I go back to my room and just lie on my bed, thinking about everything, including something I still haven't processed, although it was confirmed on Tuesday.

Sam and I are going to have a half-sibling in common. What will that be like? I do know it won't be like when Billy was here, an outsider who arrived at age five with his own personality. This will be a helpless little baby, like Val. It will bond Tony and Mom in a new way. And what will it mean for me and Sam? We're grown up. Maybe she'll keep living over the garage, but she's got her own life. So do I. What are my responsibilities to this little brother or sister?

One thing, and I haven't talked to anyone about this. Not Mom, not Tony, not Grandma, not even Sam. But I've been thinking about transferring to Yale. After all, New Haven is a lot closer to Fairfield than Cambridge is. And it's an equally good school for the natural sciences as MIT is.

That way, I can be around when Mom and Tony's baby is little, visit more often. I don't know where life will take me after college, but I can at least be a presence in my brother or sister's life in the beginning.

And, yes, it'll be easier to see Sam. I know, things might not work out with us. But what if they do? I don't want to be away from her for months at a time. It was different before, I was trying to get over her.

I won't decide anything just yet. I don't even know what my major will be, and I'll be a junior next year. There's still so much that's up in the air with my life. It seems like last summer Sam had all the drama and change, while I just drifted in her wake. And now she's got stability and I'm the one shaking things up.

I won't go as crazy as Mom did in Jamaica, but I do get tired of being the sensible, practical one sometimes. Of course, in my case, cutting loose seems to be taking the form of hopefully finding a career and a meaningful relationship. But becoming a herpetologist and dating Sam aren't exactly traditional ways to go about this.