Thirteen – Bring Me To You, Intoxicate Me

"She's… had something against me since the start," Miku said. "Maybe because I was so—so impulsive— like her."

"You know her history, too?"

Miku looked at me oddly. "Everyone knows… what the Queen did… in her past life."

"Oh. Okay. Never mind, then. Yes? Go on?"

A shudder rippled through Miku's slim body. She winced. "Crushing… my chest… there was terrible pain… and then—and then—and—and then…" Her eyes went blank in the way that she knew I was there, but she couldn't see me, just the horrific images behind her eyelids. Her trembling hand grabbed mine and grasped it tightly. "My wings— they were gone… disappeared… and—and there was laughter, horrid, horrid laughter… and I was stumbling—"

I shook her, and Miku blinked, her eyes seeming to focus again. "Miku… what are you talking about?"

"The—oh." She looked confused for a moment and coughed before answering my question. "That was what happened with the wings."

"Yes, but why did she take them away?"

Miku's eyes began to go faraway again. "A… number of things. I suppose… I suppose I reminded her of her own self. You, of course, might probably be more like her. But… somehow, when she looked at me… she seemed to see herself. Or the mermaid she once knew. But… guess she wasn't too happy about that… guess she didn't want it to happen…"

"Queen Suzune wasn't the person I thought her to be. I thought of her to be more… more…" I struggled for the right words to say. But at least I was finally pouring out some of my frustrations to her.

"Oh, but Luka, you should see that—that she is kind… and good," said Miku, blinking her large cyan eyes up at me. "But… just like any living being… she experiences jealousy, fear… human emotions, as faeries are related to human beings like mermaids. Yes, they are just small sensations… but when they grow, they are almost unstoppable. Do not hold a grudge against her, Luka, she… she doesn't understand you… as much as you understand yourself." She rasped out the last part in an unsteady voice. She gulped. "There's not much time left in the world for me, Luka…"

I gripped her even more tightly. "Where will you be afterwards?"

"Don't know… faeries interact with nature more than most other humanoid species… maybe… another rebirth… but this time reincarnation—reincarnation into a bird… a sparrow, perhaps, like the sparrow I caught… or maybe… Hell again…"

"But really, why is that such a big deal? Our country catches quail all the time. It's good to eat."

Miku shot me a disgusted look. "Of course you would do that; you are all humans—humans without any magical or special power… but with a huge amount of pride and thickheaded courage and perseverance… humans, the species related to us, that knows toil… but us, nature is sacred to us, and to do something that may occur as minor to you… it is a huge offense in our world."

"I'm sorry."

"We are not bothered… by your actions… unless it's in this very forest—or other places we faeries dwell. But I lost control… out of the emotion envy… envy, strong as a snake's poison. I couldn't help it—I hated it that the sparrow and robin were so happy—well, I actually don't know if they… really were in love or not." She laughed but soon became sober again.

"About the water," I said finally.

"Yes… what about it?"

"Will it kill you?"

"Queen Suzune's… curse… will kill me before the illness… consumes me completely…" She paused. "I am already surprised that… I'm living so long… it's not that painful, either; just prickles down my spine… my eyelids weighing down with warm drowsiness…"

"Oh, no, Miku," I said, alarmed. "No. Don't die. Don't die. No."

"You realize… that I am only… stalling for time?"

"You mean you die of will?"

"Just barely holding on, but… it will take me soon no matter what."

Warm tears threatened to spill over. I wanted to be a spoiled child, stomping my foot, yelling at Miku not to die, as if death was something that could be controlled. But here she was, sliding out of my grasp even though I was holding her so tightly, asking more and more questions to keep her from slipping away.

I was alone again.

Self-sorriness threatened to take over, but I blinked and shoved all of the feelings away. I had to be calm. For Miku. She can't see me like this.

… Or maybe she could?

Suddenly, there was a terrible retching sound—a horrible gurgling noise that came from Miku's throat. She clambered to her knees, gasping for breath, her normally peach-toned skin white and beaded with perspiration. The sparrow (the bird we had both forgotten about) took this chance to fly out of her hands. Miku fell onto her stomach, trembling all over.

"Miku?" I asked gently, but my throat was already hurting from the tears I was going to shed anyway.

Her eyelids fluttered and her pupils zoomed out of focus. Miku lurched forward, her knuckles turning white as she grabbed blades of grass to steady herself. "Even—even I'm unclear on all I have done to her, but it… they… must have been huge crimes—"

"You did not murder…?"

"That would have been an unspeakable crime… not a mere huge crime."

"It's all my fault."

"It's mine."

I choked back a sob. "What about with me?"

"Well, this one… it would be… you know too well…" Looking closely at Miku, I realized that there were tears glistening on her eyelashes. She roughly raised a hand to brush them away, but halfway up to her eyes, her hand went limp and she looked imploringly back up at me again. "Promise—promise me…"

"I promise you."

I don't know why, but I've always likened Life to a candle.

Miku's expression told me that her heart was breaking for the second time.

"If I die… do you… do you promise—… Promise me! Please! Don't break it!" She was screaming by now, crazy for someone to relieve her of the thoughts that would break not just her heart but her mind. My hand was getting red from being squeezed so hard. "If… if I should fade away—you will, won't you?" Desperation filled her voice, which arced up in a much higher pitch than the one that she usually employed. "You will, won't you? You will? Please! Please! Whatever you do, don't—don't forget me."

"I will not forget you, Miku—"

"And—and don't forgive me—"

"Forgive you? What should I hate you for—"

Maybe it's because it's so needed and precious.

"For… leaving you… without any notice. Harbor hate for me—because, after all, friendship is the equal balance of hate and love." She smiled through her tears, and it just then struck me how beautiful she was. But she was already fading. Her body was getting paler by the second, and I could see nature through her. I could see the grass withering up, the ground turning dry, the trees next to her turning to stumps—and I could see a strangely-clothed man in the distance wearing a patched straw hat, and holding something that looked like a broom except with spikes at the end.

Maybe it's because, with a wrong blow, its flame could be exterminated.

It was just a second before I saw trees again and Miku's flickering figure.

"This is the future of the spot I am in now," she whispered. "Luka—remember—don't forget me—or forgive… No matter what."

Or maybe it's because everybody seems to mirror a candle, more or less.

I laid her head on my lap, running my fingers through her soft hair, which was getting dimmer by the second. I have to be strong for her. Don't cry, don't show emotion. Just this once. I don't have to be strong ever again. It was queer watching death in action; her face seemed to become peaceful but somehow strained by the moment. Her eyelids drooped.

"Fifteen seconds," she whispered raspily.

Just fifteen seconds. Time was slipping away.

I could feel her heartbeats through her skin. Each one seemed to be converted into sound through touch. It was as if I was living her life with her.

"Ten."

"Rest, Miku. Just close your eyes… it'll be over sooner that way…" I swallowed but somehow forced the last sentence out. "You don't have to stay alive for me."

"Oh, but I do, Luka. Seven seconds. You want to know why? I finally found someone… someone who understands my concept of home…"

I found myself looking into pained green eyes.

"Five."

"Just rest, Miku. Don't count. It would be happier this way."

"I want my last moments to be… lucid—not dreamy. Three."

I could hear her heart going slower and slower.

"Two. I—I've always wondered… what a dead person's skin felt like." Her eyes glazed over. "I… love you, Luka."

"I love you too, Miku," I whispered.

One.

In a heartbeat, her life flickered out.

Just like a used candle gasping its last breath.

l~u~k~a

I stood up, brushing fallen leaves and branches off my lap, while carefully setting Miku down on the ground. I hadn't any idea of how long I had stayed with Miku, but the sky was getting red-streaked and gold-filled. The sun, a huge ball of fire, slowly sank below the horizon. I watched the sunset through the cracks between the leaves of the dark silhouettes of the trees. A perfect fiery boom to indicate another spirit's passing.

I am the daughter of a lord.

Gently I arranged her hair and limbs, and tore flowers from the ground to sprinkle over her, to make it look like she was just playing and then fell asleep. I was calm. I was expressionless. Inside, I was burning with rage and grief. My heart was in a dozen pieces and my mind probably as well, but I managed to keep my composure like a true lady.

I love not. I know not.

Miku's features had become less faerie-like and more human-like as she met her end. She looked just like another mortal lady like me. Someone—a prince, perhaps—could easily mistake her for a sleeping beauty.

And I will not open my heart to succumb to such weakness.

Her skin hadn't suddenly become waxy or wrinkled or dry, I mused as I hid the torn parts of my dress. Her skin didn't even go under a huge transformation. The warmth had just quietly leaked out of it.

What a pathetic want, to fall in love.

I began to walk and my ankle brushed against her outstretched hand.

I bent down to kiss her on the forehead. "Goodbye, Miku." And then I walked on.

Her forehead doesn't feel very strange, either, I thought.

Just very, very cold.

A light, sleepy chirping came from nowhere; looking up, I saw a sparrow. It chirped some more, hopped around, and then flew off into the sunset.

Kay, so I know I'm going to ruin the entire mood here, but there's one more chapter left. Like an epilogue. So stay for that one.

I know I'm going to get noooo how could you reviews. xD Well, anyway, thank you for reading!

~Unyielding Wish