Ch. 14

Getting Angry and Reliving Darkness

(STILL Lena's POV… but Rafi's will be at least next chapter, I promise)

"What the Hell was that!!" shouted Naomi, who had been thrown the farthest by the impact of the explosion or whatever it was.

Grunts, groans, and moans came from all around me, as my family started to get up.

"Kids? Kids! Are you okay?" yelled Lilly, obviously worried, but hadn't been as affected by the force of impact as the rest of us.

"Where's Tricky?" I asked worriedly, and had a sudden epiphany as I realized how much I loved my kitten. A silver face was suddenly close to mine, accept it wasn't Tricky, or at least it wasn't the young adult cat that had been only the size of my arm only a few seconds ago. This cat was now full grown, and if it stood up on its hind legs, would be bigger than me. Tricky was now incredibly huge. A rough tongue suddenly swiped the length of my face, and I groaned then laughed.

"This has never happened before! Both Tricky and Reliable now share a part of your powers that we didn't know existed. If only we had known! Think of the possibility this has! Now you all can be in six places at once, instead of five!" Gregory was talking excitedly to no one in particular.

"But how do they change back?" Rafi asked, rubbing between Reliable's newly acquired wings. Reliable was now the size of a small bear, I don't know how he will be able to fit in the dorms at school.

"I don't think that they can. I doubt that they will be able to control the elements, but they might just have the speed and strength." Lilly answered.

I stared at Rafi through this, not really paying attention, but getting most of what Lilly said. I knew he knew that I was looking at him, because he glanced at me and met my eyes for all of two seconds, and then quickly started wrestling with Reliable.

I just couldn't understand why he was so angry with me. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd spoken with him, I'd pushed that meeting away with so much force, I couldn't recall if I'd done or said anything to make him angry. I was nearly to the point of having an emotional breakdown, I knew in my heart that he was my best friend, I also knew that at some point in my life he would be much, much more than that.

Eventually, we were ready to leave again, with instructions to call Lilly and Gregory the minute we landed and went to orientation. We were also instructed to prick our fingers and add a drop of our blood to every stone that represented each of us. As soon as we did that, the stones started to glow a little, but the glow eventually faded to a gentle pulse and then to nothing, but the stones looked different somehow. They held more meaning, to all of us now.

"Alright, so can we finally change? I'm ready to leave. I haven't seen anything but this land in two or more months," Naomi whined, I guess she wasn't intending to hurt Lilly or Gregory, but it did. Both of their faces fell, and neither of them tried to this fact.

"She didn't mean that the way it came out," Kiki put in, having seen what I did.

"Yeah, she's just the social butterfly, and having no one but us for the last two months has been hard, especially because she isn't the Queen anymore…" Manda let the statement hang, and Naomi looked down in shame at the shallowness she knew we all saw in her. Kelvin reached for her hand, and linked his pinky with hers. The gesture was so tiny, but yet it was so sentimental, I felt a sob form in my throat. Then a pinprick of memory came at me, scared out of my mind, I pushed it back as far as I could. Right now, I was just starting to forget my terrible past, and just in one gesture, Kelvin had somehow made those memories float to the surface.

I shook my head frantically, trying to just shake the whole memory out of my head. I didn't even really know if it was one from back then or from something more recent, but I wasn't going to let that kind of pain find me now. I just shoved it into that closet and locked the door.

"If you guys are going to make it there by tomorrow for orientation, I suggest you go now," Gregory said, comforting Lilly who was crying.

"I'm sorry, I didn't fell like crying until three seconds ago! I know I'll see you soon, but its just these uncontrollable emotions!"

I nodded in understanding. I remembered when I was pregnant; I had cried often, something minor like splashing water on my shirt could've se me off at that time.

Without looking at Rafi—I knew he wouldn't return my gaze—I shouted, "Mutatio!"

We'd done this enough times to know not to freak out, or let ourselves fall after the bubbles released us. With a simultaneous glance from all twelve of us, now including the animals, we flew towards the west, only stopping to eat and rest a little. When it grew dark, I gave the order to stop and make camp (which mostly consisted of Rafi, Manda, Adam, and I using our powers to call up two sturdy rock-caves; Tara, and Brendan I making a fire in the center; Kelvin and Naomi creating a fresh water well; and Kiki and Landan using air to create a protective bubble around our camp). We just instinctively knew how this was done, like a bird knowing how to build its nest, or a spider knowing how to spin a web.

After changing back, eating, and getting ready for bed, I finally laid down on the sheet covered moss bedding on the floor of the cave, and tried to sleep. The sheets were green, so the moss wouldn't stain it, and Lilly had given them to us as a sort of going away present. I hated how they always spent money on us. I was glad that I could now access my own money and return the favor. I was sixteen now, I was on my way to Solaris, and I felt completely alone.

The girls were okay, but I knew that we could never get as close as Rafi and I were. He was my other half, the part of me that had been lost when I was abandoned as a little girl by her parents, then again by her brother, and then cruelly raped and had her child taken from her. In a moment of epiphany, I suddenly realized that with every blow to my soul in the past six

Years, parts of me escaped, parts of me went and hid somewhere, somewhere I could find them and sooner or later be whole again.

And those parts of me had taken refuge with Rafi. They had liked the soul they'd attached to so much, that they stayed, and that was why I felt so horrible. I felt horrible, because Rafi was blocking me from my newly reunited parts.

I sighed a deep heavy sigh, wishing my mind would be quiet so I can sleep. I felt part of Manda's mind try and enter mine, so I let the block to her release.

What's wrong? She asked, how come she's so perceptive?

It's rafi, he wont talk to me, and wont look at me… I don't know, it's like he's trying to send a message through his hurt silence, but I don't know what it is.

Well have you thought that maybe you did something wrong? What did you say to him the last time you did talk? She asked, trying to be helpful. What she didn't know (I was still blocking her from reading my mind, only direct thoughts to her would get through, it was like having a filter over the connection, instead of a block) was that this was just depressing me and making my muscles tense with stress.

I don't know! Can we just forget this for tonight? I'm tired.

I didn't wait for a reply; I just blocked her from me and shut out all thoughts that weren't of relaxing and being asleep.

The following morning, I woke up before everyone else, and ran to a bank in a nearby city. Filling out the proper forms, I accessed my bank account for the first time. Although, the sum in it was considerably more than I figured it would be. Which is probably because of the fact that my parents' company had grown considerably, making more products than any other company in history; and then there's the mall thing, which still freaks me out a little. I mean, I'd heard of Nate Vanderbilt before, he was the richest man in the world at the time he was alive—and it was a known fact that he was the most developed future seer in history. I guess the world just didn't know how developed.

I smiled at the woman behind the counter as she injected my arm with the I.D. needed to access the bank account.

I then ran at the exhilarating speed to the nearest car dealer. A man I expected to have the power of Speaking (the ability to talk anyone into almost anything as long as they're willing to be influenced) because of the way he immediately brought about an air of arrogance and certainty that I would buy whatever he wished me to buy for whatever price he could get out of me. What this man didn't know was that I now know how to stand my ground and say no.

"Hello! I'm Chimmie Laurent. What are you here to buy?" he asked with a voice that was way too loud and way too over-exaggerative.

"I'm not interested in small talk. I need a car that is able to hold ten people or more at once and is not too big or bulky," Chimmie's smile fell from his lips and his arrogant air left the vicinity. I didn't break his gaze until he pointed randomly across the lot.

"No. It's too long, and too boxy. I'm sorry, but how long have you worked here?" I asked.

"Fi—Five years." I smiled politely and walked away towards the man with the manager script on the back of his vest. "Wait! I think I have the perfect thing! But money has to be no object. This car isn't even on the market yet."

"Then how do you know about it?"

"I—uh—well, my wife kind of helped design it. Plus, I saw them bring it in yesterday."

"Alright, show it to me. What does it do?"

"It has the highest horsepower rating out there, and can nearly break the speed of light… which, as you know is illegal because of the effects it has on the digestive tract. But this car is one of a kind, the technology they put into it is so secretive only five people in the world know how to make it. Whoever sits in the driver's seat of this car is instantly connected to anything inside of the car. So if your cell phone is sitting in the bottom of your purse in the trunk, you can answer it just by thinking about picking it up. And if you want complete privacy, the windows will tint to the darkest color possible. It will even change color and texture beneath you for camouflage and for the fun of it. Also, it can change shape. So if you have two people in the car at one moment, and stop and pick up eight more, the car automatically will make room, meaning that it will arrange the inside to have enough seating. And there will always be legroom. The only things your passengers can do to the car is adjust the seats, open the doors, and change their air conditioning vent settings." This guy really new his stuff, and once he dropped his Speaking power he was actually a very cool guy.

"Alright, so what's the price?"

"Well… that's the only thing wrong with it. This car costs 3,000,000"

"Money is no object," I smiled and flashed him the coyest smile I could muster.

"Really? How old are you?"

I then noticed that this man was in his mid thirties, maybe early forties. His hair was starting to bald on top and he had tried to use a growth hormone to grow it back, but had obviously bought the wrong color.

"I'm… well, I'm 16."

"Where did you get this money?"

"Well, you see, my name is Lena Devynne, and I'm basically the one of the richest girls in the world."

"You—you! You're one of the heirs to the For Thought's Sake fortune? One of the six that was in Nate Vanderbilt's will?"

"Yes," I said drawing it out and putting more of a questioning tone to it than I meant to.

"You're like royalty or something!" the man started blubbering. I looked down at my wrist, seeing that every stone on it but mine was glowing faintly, meaning that my family was under a stressful situation.

"Just give me the friggen car! I have to go!"

The man quickly unlocked the door we were standing in front of, and I jumped in. "Scan my code now!" I said, entering a frantic state of panic, I held out my wrist so he could scan the I.D. from the almost unnoticeable lump in my wrist. "Where are the keys?" I asked.

"You don't need them. The car recognizes its owner by the I.D. in their wrist, it has to be the same one the car was sold to and the way you let someone else drive is by entering their I.D., into the system, just hold it up to the steering wheel."

I followed instructions and the car roared to life underneath me. "This has a full tank of wheat right?"

"Yes, why the rush?"

"My family is in trouble."

I left the man spluttering and sweating in the garage that I sped out of just in time for the garage door to be over the top of the car.

Chimmie had been right, this car did go fast, faster than me running, and I barely had to do anything. The car just followed my mind to the campsite.

"Where the hell have you been?" Naomi, Kiki, Manda, and Tara asked the moment I was out of the car.

"What the hell is that?" asked the boys at the same time.

"First, I was out buying this, and second, it is the newest model of car out there and is most likely more expensive than our new school."

"Impossible! This thing isn't even on the market yet!" Brendan said, climbing in the drivers seat.

"I know, the guy at the lot told me. Now everyone get in! I said, pushing Brendan into the passenger seat and instructing the car to expand and make room for all of us.

"What about our stuff?" asked Manda.

"We'll tie it to the top." I stated, and at that exact moment, strong cables from on top of the car picked up our bags and tied them to the roof.

"Wow." Nine voices said at once. I was speechless. This was like having nine people in my head all over again.

"What about putting down the shelter?" worried Tara.

"Reverto!" I shouted, throwing my hand out at the shelters and everything in them. All signs of us having been there were erased.

Looking happy, everyone climbed into a seat. Which were arranged with three up front, and four along each side of the back, like a limo. There were also two special seats for Tricky and Reliable right behind mine and Brendan's seats.

I drove for about fifty miles, going the speed limit this time, and stopped at a diner when I felt minds pushing at mine with feelings of hunger.

"…And then he like started worshipping me or something!" I ended my telling of getting the car from Chimmie for the third time, still getting laughs out of everyone from my interpretation of Chimmie's facial expressions.

"It's not that funny," Rafi said from his place in the farthest seat from me. He hadn't said a word to anyone the whole ride, and had looked undoubtedly pissed for quite some time. I still knew he cared for me, because his stone had said he was worried about me when no one could find me, so I still couldn't figure out why he was so angry.

"You know what? You guys go ahead, Rafi and I will stay here and talk," Rafi glared at me for this, and the car started to shift and change around us. Suddenly, the others were standing outside and only Rafi and I were left in the car, sitting side by side.

Four girls turned simultaneously, hands on hips, eyebrows raised, staring straight at me. I knew what they wanted.

Later, I thought-said.

They turned away and linked arms with each other, talking animatedly about something or another. While Tricky and Reliable went sniffing around, looking quite peculiar with wings on their backs.

I turned to Rafi; I just stared at him for a minute. When he tried to get out, I automatically wished he couldn't unlock his door, and the locks disappeared and the door basically spread seamlessly into the rest of the interior. I love this car!

Then I saw the look in Rafi's eyes, not the pissed off expression on the surface, what was really behind his feelings was hurt. "Rafi…" I pleaded, reaching toward him, he just moved away from my hand.

I turned and glared out the front window, only to see strangers staring at us out of the diner's window. The windows tinted darker than I thought possible, and I suddenly was looking at my own reflection. Did I mention I loved this car?

Anger still bubbled inside of me, so before I blew up I turned back to Rafi. "What the hell is going on with you? Why are you so pissed off?"

"Think back to the last thing I said to you. Then think about the answer you gave me." Was his only reply.

That pinprick of remembrance came back, and this time I accepted it. I was suddenly flashed back to about a week ago. Of what Rafi said that night, and of what I'd said in reply.

"I don't understand."

"Of course you wouldn't! You're so self absorbed! Lena, I told you that I loved you, and you said 'That's really funny'! Lena, I love you, and if you can't love me back, I need you to tell me that right now!"

I stared at him for a moment, and suddenly burst out laughing. "See! How can you be laughing? If you were in my position, you wouldn't think it was funny!"

"That's not it Rafi!" I said, calming down and getting serious, "If that's what you think, you don't know me as well as you thought."

"I know you well enough," was what he said, but what he really meant was that he knows I'm always going to be too afraid to tell him what I really felt and what I really needed him for.

"Rafi, I'm sorry, but I just can't say that right now." He turned around and glared out the window again.

"Come on Lena," he spoke to the dark glassy surface like it had done him some horrible wrong. "We both know you will never be able to say that to me, or anyone for that matter. You'll never heal as wholly as you think you have already."

"Rafi, you don't understand. You would never be able to understand all of the hurt that I feel and all the betrayal I've had to face," I gripped the steering wheel with so much force, I wondered at how the organic plastic didn't crack.

He turned his serious eyes on me, staring down into my own eyes and not trying to hide any of the hurt he felt. "Show me, and I'll tell you if I've never felt it before. Show me, and I'll be the one to judge whether or not I haven't felt that betrayal."

I knew exactly what he meant, but I didn't want to relive any of those feelings, I'd locked them in that dark closet for so long, I have no idea how powerful they've become. I have no idea if I can even take the helpless aching that would start in my chest. So I shifted my gaze down and messed with my hair. "I wouldn't know how to do that," I lied, biting my lip and looking back up at his face.

"Don't lie to me Lena. I've known you long enough to have figured out that you mess with your hair and won't look people in their eyes when you lie to them. Open your connection and let me feel it, let me in." His voice had taken on a hostile tone, and his expression was severe.

I did as he said, Don't complain to me if it gives you nightmares. I tried to make my thoughts sound hostile or sarcastic, but you can't manipulate your thoughts like you can your voice. It came out sounding weak, breathless and scared to the point of crying.

I closed my eyes, and imagined myself walking down a long hallway; at the end of it was a large dark door, with a huge golden lock in the middle of it. Shaking, I turned around and made sure Rafi was there, he just stared severely at me. I continued on, the walk seemingly taking forever.

When I finally reached the door, I slowly took a deep breath and pulled the imaginary key out of my pocket. It fit perfectly into the keyhole and before I could even reach the door handle, dark things slammed open the door and bombarded us.

Ten years ago...

A little girl of about ten was playing in a vast yard with four of her friends. Suddenly, they stopped what they were doing and stared towards the house, where a strange man was walking towards them, a boy of about 12 following closely behind, urgently shouting at the man.

"What are you here to tell us? Where are our parents?" the boy was rude and arrogant, but was obviously completely idolized by his sister, who looked just like him at this point in time.

"Chance? What's going on?" asked the young Lena.

"This man just barged in and wanted to know where everyone was, said something about needing to talk to all of us!"

"Yes, children, I have some very grave news. There was a fire in your parents' factory. We haven't been able to contact them in any way, and no one knows where they've gone. Someone saw them all leave about three hours before the fire, but no one knows where to begin to look for them."

For the next few months, we see the kids worriedly staying in the house and watching for their parents, neighbors would come by claiming to have looked all day, only to find nothing. The six kids were placed in foster care or went to stay with very distant relatives. Only the twins and the Brother and Sister get to stay together.

Three years later…

Chance and Lena are seen sitting on an old bunk bed that had long since lost its counterpart. Neither one looks like the other except for the brilliant purple color of their eyes.

"Lena, I'm going to be leaving for Pandora tomorrow," said the fair-haired Chance, pulling at a thread in the comforter. His tall frame towered over his smaller sister by more than a few inches.

"What? You're going to leave me here? Alone? Chance, I can't do that. Don't leave me! Take me with you!" pleaded Lena, slight and darker haired.

"Lena, it's either going alone, or I'll never learn to master these powers and never be able to hold down a job when I'm older, which would mean I couldn't take care of you like I promised. I have to do this."

Lena is seen running from the room crying, and doesn't even say goodbye to her brother the next day.

Weeks pass and the orphan system demands that Lena is moved to another Foster home. She tries to refuse, makes excuses that her brother is going to visit at anytime and take her with him. In the end, she is forced to move to a new foster home, one that just opened. The foster family already has one little girl, only slightly younger than Lena. With perfectly straight blonde hair and dark eyes, she looks like a lost soul.

One day, the father came home late, drunk, disheveled, and angry. His green shirt was torn in many places and it looked like he'd been in a fight.

"Come here! Since the wife isn't here to please me, I'll have to do with you two!" and he proceeded to rape the girls, completely bruising them from head to toe and threatening them with things worse than death if they contacted the police.

Weeks passed, the wife still didn't come home; her mother was sick and needed her care more than the kids she'd taken on. More and more kids showed up everyday, but the man only hurt Lena and the first girl.

The wife came back after a length of time, and the raping stopped, but Lena's stomach grew and grew with the baby she grew to love. When the day came that Lena was to deliver, the others—not including the man—were at the zoo, having left Lena behind because of her condition.

Lena went into labor early in the afternoon and had a quick birth in the bathroom. The man seemed to have changed morals during the time, but instead of giving Lena her child back after 'cleaning' it, he drowned it in the sink and left it to die as its enraged mother went after him with a vengeance.

I gasped for breath, tears running freely down my face and sobs wracking my body so hard that I couldn't get in any actual breath. I'd somehow ended up in Rafi's arms, and by the way his shoulders were shaking slightly, I knew he was crying too. I immediately cut off our connection and tried to lock the memories back in the closet, but it couldn't seem to hold them anymore.

"They wont go back!" I started to scream frantically, rocking back and forth in Rafi's arms and holding my head in my hands.

Rafi became beside himself in worry, "What wont go back?" he shouted, trying to keep be from scratching my face.

"The memories! The feelings! They won't stay in the closet!"

I've gone crazy, I thought, my awful past has made me go crazy!

"Lena, Lena, it's okay. You win. Nothing is as bad as what you've been through. I now understand that you won't be able to say those words to me for a long time."

I still wouldn't calm down. "No, Rafi. I will say them. Maybe not now, but soon. In the next two years, I will say those three words to you!"

"Lena, calm down!"

I stared up at him frantically, "Promise me!" I whispered.

"Promise you what?" he asked, a surge of relief made his shoulders sag as I finally stopped screaming and crying.

"I've been trying so hard for so long not to get involved that I've forgotten what it's like to have a crush, or to get butterflies in my stomach when I'm around someone I like. You're the first guy I've met for a long time that has gotten this type of reaction from me." I took his face into my hands and looked into his eyes. "When I say those three words for the first time to you, it'll be special and you have to promise me right now that you'll believe me."

"I promise." He breathed, I smiled and let go of his head, getting ready to get out of the car, he suddenly pulled me back in and kissed me with more passion than I knew possible.

"I love you Lena Devynne," he said, that smile I loved back on his face. I would've said something right then, but I was still trying to catch my breath as he got out of the car, which had opened the doors long ago, patiently waiting for us to exit.

(so this chapter is like three pages longer than it was originally… and Lena went a lil crazy… idk what to think. I'll prolly rewrite it soon. Review!)