Hey...
Here I am... dealing with my characters' psych and fears.
The end of this chapter will disappoint many of you, I know that.
It makes me sick too.
But this is a great story of angst and it goes hand in hand.
I hope you'll give me suggestions and cues.
My notes will be at the end of the chapter not to waste your surprise and reading.
Cristina couldn't control her eyes.
She couldn't do anything to stop the tears which had been leaking out for minutes now.
The more she tried to collect herself, the more her glands betrayed her.
She kept wiping her face, sniffling, trying to hide the pathetic scene she was offering.
Dunn was giddy, he was still busy in his phone call but she could clearly see his face shining in satisfaction every time his eyes rested on her.
He had done a lot of things since she was there.
He had knocked her down, threatened her and Meredith several times, imposed them his speeches and talks, obliged them to watch him maltreating Derek, pushed them to the edge and scared them out of their minds.
Till he had let go of Meredith and the game had evolved to level 2.
Rougher, harder, even more violent if possible.
She felt like a guinea pig, like a mouse between the claws of a cat.
The pressure was constant… had been constant. Yet… she had never thought to be in danger.
Till Dunn had first tried to approach her God knows to do what and Derek had distracted him taking his rage in response. And then he had started to touch her making even too clear which were his intentions.
When she had talked about this stuff with her friends… women being sexually assaulted by men, she had always said she'd send the unfortunate to the hospital, practicing surgery with the remains of his manhood, she had always thought she would react, fight and finally win. But this was a myth… nothing more.
The moment William had knelt in front of her and she had seen the wickedness sparkle in his eyes, she had known there was nothing she could do to prevent him to do what he wanted. He was much stronger even after two surgeries, much more powerful and he had a gun. There was no way she could escape. And a wave of regret and remorse squeezed her heart for all the times she had considered raped women like weak girls who had given up too easily and too quickly, for all the times she had fooled herself and the others to be different, for all the times she had underestimated what having a turned on and ready to anything man in front of you meant.
This dregs loved the fear they breathed, they loved to impose their will. And resistance only made things worse.
Which brought them to level 3.
He hadn't been able to intimidate Derek with a knife and his knees, he hadn't been able to bind him breaking his hand, he hadn't been able to destroy him completely with his father's story, the threats, the amount of crap he had reversed on him, including the vulgar and horrifying conversation involving sex and Meredith. What would be the next move? What would he try? What would he do to him for breaking his lusty and sex moment?
She only feared the answer and the moment all this big plan would be revealed.
As she didn't know how much strength she had in her. Apparently none. She felt like none. She only felt like a burden to drag around, like a second weapon in the hands of a murderer.
"I can help you, William"
Trent had been saying this stuff for ten minutes, he had tried to convince Dunn and, with him, himself too.
But it was a lie and from the chuckles he was getting from the other side of the line, he knew William realized it too.
"And how do to you think you can do that, Vince?"
"You went through two surgeries… two brain surgeries… we can get a delay with it"
"And then what?"
Nothing, after maybe two weeks of prison and recovery, he would be executed anyway, especially after the two guards he had killed almost with bare hands. Actually, Trent knew he could also lose the benefit to choose how to die for what was happening in here. Dunn had studied during his detention, he had applied on many things. Botanic, criminology… but also Law. He knew they had ran out of options, there was no way he could get a last minute grace, that's why he had taken the chance to extend his stay in SGH. Trent sighed, Dunn was a smart man, a really quick brain. He could have done everything in his life. Engineering, law, medicine, economics… he had just engaged his powers and skill in the most hateful and perverted way. And now it was to him and Falks to drag him out stopping the death counter. William had apparently heard his manifestation of discomfort and impotence and prodded him through the phone.
"You see… you know yourself there's nothing for me there. I just want to keep doing this for some time… My injection can wait some more hours, can't it?"
"You know that's not the point, William. You have two hostages with you, you're not doing a pic-nic in a garden and ask for a longer time. You're keeping two people closed in a room without eating and drinking"
"They drank…"
Falks signed a big x mark on a blackboard and nodded to Trent, they needed more information and he needed to keep him talking.
"And what about food?"
"Doctors are used to skip lunch and dinner. They won't starve. But you can arrange us a little buffet is this makes you feel better"
"What would you like to eat?"
"I don't know… What do you say, doc? Anything special?"
Derek sent him a quick look, he didn't want to humour him right now, he was playing a role, enjoying the attention. He had enough people on the other side of the line to do it. A sigh escaped his mind thinking Meredith could be hearing this… She surely would be in Richard's office. He'd give everything to know if she was right, if she had understood his true intentions, if someone… Bailey or Mark or Richard had convinced her to go and get some sleep. No… she wasn't sleeping… how could she sleep with him and Cristina in there? He stroke his eyes to wipe tiredness away. He didn't need to worry about Meredith, she was fine and this was enough. He looked up hearing William laughing.
"You see, Vince? Nobody here wants anything. But, since you asked… some sandwich will be fine"
"I'll see what I can do. How are they?"
Dunn breathed into the phone sending a searching look to his guests.
Yang was fine, physically at least. She was still trying to recover from the last adventure, but she was fine. Sheperd was sitting on the floor, he looked like a tarantula as he moved every ten seconds in search of better position. His hand was bad, he wasn't a doctor but he could see it. It was dark with bruises and the swelling constricted by the cuff had to be nearly unbearable.
Still… he had never complained or asked him anything. For now. Fine was a big word though.
"Not bad… not good"
"What is this supposed to mean? Are they fine or not?"
"Dr. Yang is pretty good. Physically at least. She's been crying on the floor for quarter an hour now… it's starting to piss me off"
Trent's eyes met dr. Hunt's. The red haired surgeon had come out of his lethargy hearing about his girlfriend broken and sobbing, anything the lawyer had read on that woman fit with the image Dunn had just inculcated in their minds. Something had happened, that was clear. A big question mark appeared in front of him in Falks' messy writing.
"Why is she crying?"
A think silence fell in the room, William rubbed his chin lazily trying to find a good answer.
"She finally got what I can be capable of"
"What does this mean? Did you hurt her?"
"No… no… this was my last intention. I didn't want to hurt her for sure. But I guess she didn't like what I had in mind"
"What was that?"
There was a long silence broken just by Dunn's breath in the phone.
He was pondering what answering. As he had two minds about it. The truth was always the best thing if he wanted to impress them, let them feel powerless. Knowing he was ready to go cozy with the woman in the room could cool their spirit, get them more careful about the decisions he was sure they were taking in that precise moment. On the other hand it could bring them to the conclusion they needed to act before it was too late. And William wasn't stupid to understand they would, sooner or later they would force him out of that room, alone or with the other two. Maybe he just needed to mix the cards, play the undecided and confused. He could do that, he had always worked with Trent. The lawyer was a dangerous figure in this picture, he knew him, he knew his wishes and his moves. He knew he had done something bad. It was pointless to let him speculate on it, saying it straight to his face could become a session, a therapy and cool their fears down. He cleared his throat and spoke in the receiver calmly.
"You know all of my problems with female figures… do you remember the time we spent with the shrink talking about it?"
"Of course I do"
"So… do you even remember what you suggested me?"
"I didn't suggest you anything"
"Right…. Not you… dr. "I don't remember his name" kept suggesting me I needed a woman"
Trent was distracted by a cough coming from the couch and the sounds of someone sobbing. He turned to that direction and saw Dr. Grey crying, dr. Bailey was trying to comfort her and dr. Hunt… dr. Hunt was as white as a sheet. He gestured him to stay there, silent, not to take initiatives, not to break the contact he had created with Dunn. He got this was difficult to him, almost unbearable. He was hearing an animal talking about his girlfriend like a useless bunch of meat to experience stuff on. And Vince was sure he would do it… experiencing. William had the intelligence of a grown up and the sexual maturity of a sixteen years old. He had never tried anything, he had never loved anyone, he had no idea how to do it. And his sessions with dr. Boldman, Caldwell's shrink, had been very different from how he was describing them now.
"He never told you to take a woman with the force, William"
An evil grin reached the room and the lawyer flinched.
"And how would I meet one then? Going to the prom? Shopping? If I look outside the door I don't have a queue of fans, Trent. Better… I used to… and you took them away from me. I never had the chance to meet the people who wrote me letters of admiration and praise. I had never the chance to talk to someone. So how am I supposed to flirt with someone if not like this?"
Brandon shook his head to the attorney, everybody had understood William's line. He was trying to turn this into his favor, he was trying to let them think and believe he was pushed to do it. But he wasn't. Trent had spent three hundred hours with his customer and the psychologist who took his case. Never a topic like this entered the conversation. Dunn had assimilated it in this way though, this was how his sick brain and personality had developed and interiorized his issue.
"Nobody ever said something like this to you. How is she?"
A thick silence filled the room and Hunt mumbled a threat.
"If he has laid a finger on her I…" he shook his head in disbelief but Trent silenced him. Apparently too late.
"Who was that?"
Vince rolled his eyes and Falks invited him to go on.
"Nothing…"
"Nothing doesn't talk. Who was that?"
He scanned his words with rage and the young man sighed from this side of the phone.
"A doctor… we have a lot of people worried here. How do you think they are feeling about this story?"
"I guess bad… They are supposed to feel bad. But tell that gentleman he could feel even worse… Yang could feel even worse if our doctor hero hadn't overstepped once again"
Falks wrote "Sheperd" on his board and underlined it.
Everything happened, it stopped there. In front of those seven letters which had captured Dunn's attention, his efforts and interest from the very beginning.
Before Trent had the time to formulate his next question, William spoke again.
"I'm tired of talking now. Where are my sandwiches?"
"I've sent one of my guys to take them. Ten minutes they'll be there"
"Good… Just ring me when you're ready"
"William…"
The line fell and the boozing spread all over Webber's office. Trent sighed and pressed the stop button. He stood up, slow and crashed under an invisible weight. He approached Falks and his board, big black nouns written in a messy handing occupying half the first sheet.
Drinks yes.
No food.
Yang crying?
Mother
Sheperd
They had touched many topics but solved any of them. Vince sighed realizing William had led the conversation wherever he wanted, he had said things till he felt like to and then let everything suspended. He was smart and alert, the long hours of sieging hadn't clouded his mind.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up.
Falks was standing behind him, giving him a small, reassuring smile.
"You did good"
"We know nothing more than before"
"We do, instead… And he'll call back"
"How are you so sure?"
"You never prodded him with questions, you let him decide the time of this. He trusts you in his own way… better he fears you… And he's going to call back to share his improvements or achievements, his last decisions. Let's wait"
"Is she your ex wife?"
Both Derek and Cristina raised their eyes to look at Dunn.
He was sitting on the chair, rolling left and right to busy his time. His face was relaxed, the usual, hateful grin spreading across it.
Derek wasn't sure he had understood correctly.
Had William just asked him if Cristina was his ex wife? How could he think that? Better… how would he possibly know he had been married before?
He didn't need to wait for the answer for long. Dunn showed him Meredith's phone.
"This is an unbelievable source of information… you know? You press one button and the stories just come to you. I wonder if they'll let me take one of this till my execution…" he looked fascinated to the cell and then back to Derek "what do you think?"
Derek was too deadpanned to give him an answer. Dunn did it for him.
"I'm afraid of no… so… it's better I take advantage now…" he started to push the buttons, Derek could feel the keys producing their small, little sounds when stressed.
"So… is Yang your ex wife?"
"No"
Derek looked away, this was another conversation he really didn't want to have with him.
"So bad… it would have been fun… two ladies fighting on you… Unless it didn't happen anyway… When was it that you divorced?"
"How is it that you care?"
The spat took William unprepared. He swallowed and recollected quickly.
"I happen to care as we have nothing to talk about and I wanted to know about her" William's eyes pierced into Derek's. He looked back to the little screen and his pupils filled with enthousiasm.
"Here she is... How is it that you always end up with these stunning pieces of women?"
Derek kept silent.
"It just disappoints me a bit, you know. I'd have preferred it was her. But the reason Grey doesn't trust you is pretty clear right now. It has a name and two legs. Two very leggy legs to be precise. Did you two-time her?"
Derek sighed and looked away. It sounded more than a confession.
"Well… I guess breaking your marital vows doesn't count as sin in your screwed scale of principles…"
"No, it does. But that's not what happened"
"Oh no? And what did happen then?"
Derek pondered for a moment the idea not to answer. He locked his eyes with William and read straight through them. He had no way to escape this, as usual. Dunn held all the cards, he held the command and he had to force words out of his mouth.
"I broke up with my wife and moved here"
"Only you forgot to tell it to Grey, right? And I guess the shiny wife just came up here to screw your story…"
How he knew that… it was a mystery. Probably he had found out about Addison by some biography in internet, Derek knew it was possible. In blogs and spaces devoted to surgery there was room also for gossip and personal stuff. He had probably entered a site and got all the information he needed.
But this… he felt like he was reading thorough his mind, like he knew his story just picking up one piece here and another there.
A cliché.
Because that's what it was. A cliché. A man hiding his secret wife from the girlfriend, the said wife showing up, the husband taking her back, dumping the new arrived like she was nothing.
The world was full of such men… they promised everything on air, they promised they would divorce, they promised they would love back, they promised they would build a family. But nothing of this never happened. As men were liars, they could say everything to come out of troubles, to ease their position.
"He could tell you whatever he wants"
Dunn could tell he felt pain, Derek could tell Meredith he still loved her three minutes before going home to his wife, three hours before Meredith called to tell him about Doc dying and being welcomed by the sounds of Addison giggling and the request to leave them alone as they were trying to properly make love.
How did this feel?
For the first time Derek stopped and really got what Meredith had felt in those days… months. She had felt abandoned, fooled, betrayed. And humiliated. Publicly and privately.
What kind of man did that? How this kind of man could get trust back? How could a best friend ever forgive this to him?
He blamed Cristina for not valuing his love to Meredith, but the truth was that he was the very first one to have done it. He cheapened everything, he destroyed the magic between the two of them, he killed every positivity which still existed in his lover's heart. He took trust away from her.
The acknowledgment of this little, titanic detail pressed on his shoulders like a rock. He lowered his eyes and sighed.
"I made a huge mistake"
"Oh, that's for sure… Only admitting mistakes is so easy after…"
"It's not… it's never easy. And we never do it enough"
"Do you think so? I don't know… Maybe we didn't do any mistake. Maybe we just say it to get the forgiveness and the acceptance from others. Take me… I never apologized for what I did… Because I've never felt the need to do it. I don't feel guilty or repented or everything Trent wanted me to say… I was happy with my actions. I really was. And I'm even happy here"
A ring interrupted their conversation and Dunn picked up the phone.
"Sandwich time?" he listened carefully to the interlocutor and rubber his chin in the while "ok… three minutes"
He closed the cell and stood up stretching his back.
"Our lunch… dinner… whatever you want is here. Dr. Yang…" she looked up and their eyes met briefly "will you go out to take them?"
She nodded and stood up weakly, her back pressing against the wall to raise the distance between the two of them.
"Good girl… just open the door and stay there. Someone will leave a tray just after the sliding door at the end of the hallway. You have thirty seconds to go and come back. I guess I don't need to tell you what's going to happen if you try to run away"
Cristina sighed and nodded, she looked at him destroying the handmade barricades and prepare her a way out. Once he had finished, he stepped back and left her room. Cristina arrived to the door and opened it just in time to see a hand pushing a tray inside the corridor. She went out and started walking down the tight passage, she felt a rumor she couldn't place and she decided not to worry about it anymore. She had thirty seconds of calm and freedom and she meant to enjoy every of it.
Lexie entered the hospital with a bad feeling creeping in her veins.
Since the early morning she had been experiencing a lot of bad surprises.
She had woken up and found nothing in the fridge to eat. It was Meredith's turn to do errands the previous day but apparently she had forgotten, there was nothing she was supposed to buy. And it made no sense, as Lexie had checked the board before leaving the night before and her sister was not in the OR, neither Derek, neither Mark. But, along with food and stuff, they had all disappeared.
Derek and Meredith could be at the trailer, enjoying the truce they had signed. It was strange though… as they usually left her a note or a message and she had found none.
Adrenaline… excitement made this to Meredith and Derek.
When they decided to rip the clothes out of each other, all the rest ceased to exist.
Not that she blamed them, they had lived rough times in the last days, they needed some privacy and some good time alone. Just… she could have remembered to buy something not to let her starve, to let her unleash her sexual frustration on something more appealing than a rotten apple.
She snorted pushing the button of the ground floor elevator.
She needed to calm down, she needed to really calm down if she didn't want to get into troubles.
Bailey wouldn't care if Derek and Meredith were gone and she had none in the previous night, this wasn't the kind of problems she was sympathetic with.
But it made blood boil in her veins.
As Mark hadn't showed up, he hadn't called, he hadn't answered her calls.
A whole 12 hours without giving any sign he still existed.
A crappy day.
And she was already late as she had spent 20 minutes to find a damned spot in the parking. Everything was occupied by a stupid tv crew setting up stages and equipment like they had to film God knows what. Stupid morons… they had missed the memo everything was over by now.
She entered the elevator and made her way to the locker room, she changed into her scrubs and wore her coat. The day started to get better.
She loved how she looked in it.
Professional, self-confident. And hot.
Not to talk about how hot Mark looked in that…
Talking about her boyfriend… she picked out her phone but it was blank.
No lost calls, no texts.
She sighed thinking maybe he got caught in some emergency surgery. She adjusted her wrist watch and realized apparently it wasn't so late like she believed. She had a good ten minutes to snoop around, find Mark and have him pay to have neglected her.
She walked out of the room with a new found energy and a grin playing on her lips.
She had to stop abruptly when she nearly bumped against the other inters, hidden behind a corner at the beginning of the catwalk. She rubbed her nose which had collided with someone's shoulder.
Good… a bruise was what she needed to turn Mark on.
"What the hell are you doing here… stalking someone?"
"Just the chief's office. Looks like something is going on in there"
"Something like what?"
"Like top secret. Nurse Debbie told us Webber stayed there all night. And apparently he was not alone"
"So the Chief is having romantic encounters in his office?"
"That would be a good gossip… Look…"
Lexie followed his friends' gazes and her eyes set on the darkened glasses of the room.
"Blinds are down in the early morning… Nobody goes in. And Patricia was out of her wits this morning. I heard her mumbling something about bad manners and too much work…"
"Or sex maybe…."
The young doctors exchanged an amused and ironic look, they giggled diverting their eyes into the office direction.
Lexie snorted, she really hadn't the strength to stay there to spy the Chief and his probable sex life while she had none. She needed to do something.
"You know what? Just stay here wasting your time. I'm going downstairs and get all the best cases. Just text me if there's something juicy. If I have the time to answer you from some cool OR, of course"
Teddy, Callie and Arizona were all sitting in a conference room.
Their faces were tired and annoyed.
"This is my day off"
"It was your day off"
"It was yours as well"
"I know… and now I'm here to wait for the Chief instead of being in the woods with our picnic"
"And our strawberry with whipped cream… That cream smelled heavenly"
"Just relax… it's not said you have to turn it off"
"What do you think, Teddy? Webber paged us so I guess I'll have to turn it off. Where are all the others by the way?"
"Who?"
"Bailey… Hunt… They were on call this morning but I didn't meet them"
"Maybe they're operating"
"Maybe they're sick and the Chief paged us to replace them"
"That would be a total disaster…"
"Whipped cream for everyone"
The door opened and slammed behind their back, they jumped on their sits and noticed Webber's presence in the room with Bailey.
Apparently there wasn't an epidemic going on between attendings.
"Chief…"
He didn't sit or give them any sign of greeting. If their faces shown the surprise of being paged in their day off, Webber's was a living mask of exhaustion.
They had got to know him by now.
He had a pretty tough schedule, he spent many nights in the hospital. But, magically, every morning he looked like he had just left the stylist, he had rest and was impeccable.
This morning he was everything but this. And Bailey's face…. Callie hadn't seen her in this state from the day she got into labour.
"Chief?"
"I'm sorry I had to page you here in your free day but I need you"
"A pile up or something?
Teddy enquired and Callie could clearly see Richard swallowing shaking his head.
"No… we have an emergency and I need all the available attendings"
"Ok… what do we have to do?"
"Just manage the department for today… run surgeries only if necessary, I've already asked the centre to divert all ambulances to Presbiterian… keep the residents busy…"
"What? What is this supposed to mean?"
"Right what he said. Please"
Bailey's voice sounded like a prayer and Callie looked at her. She got it wasn't the moment to pop other questions.
"You can't tell us anything more, can you?"
"No. For the benefit of this hospital and the situation we're trying to solve, it's better you don't know anything else. Report every strange thing you notice. I'll be in my office, only if something really bad happens"
He pushed a file across the table and Callie took it. It contained the assignments for the day and the lines Webber had just given them.
"This says it's up to the three of us…"
Torres looked up and her stare met Webber's. For the first time since she knew him, the Chief looked away.
"Chief…"
"Everything is clear?"
Teddy rolled her eyes reading the document.
"What is clear here is that you're assigning us the crap while the others just do the golden job. What is it? Is there a contest you cut us from before even beginning it?"
"Dr. Altman…"
"No, Chief, really. I can do this stuff, really and I'm glad to do it. But can you just tell us what is going on? Sheperd, Hunt and Bailey are out of the plan. What is it? A new funds distribution?"
Callie looked to the Chief, for a reason she couldn't place she felt this had nothing to do with his favorites, this had nothing to do with preferences and privileges.
It was something deeper, something bad.
As he wasn't yelling.
One thing she had grown to know about Chief Webber was that he imposed himself, even if he was wrong. He yelled and scared people away with the tail between their legs. This wasn't the case, he wasn't in yelling mode. On the contrary… he was recoiling with every sentence Teddy uttered, he was… in difficulty. And Bailey was… what was she? Maybe not now but… had she cried?
Torres placed a hand on Altman's thigh to stop her rambling.
"Teddy…"
"What?"
Her sharp voice echoed in the room but her eyes softened when Callie invited her to take a look to their chief. He had sank onto a chair, hiding his face in both hands, breathing in and out to catch his breath. The last time they had seen him like that he had suffered a heart attack.
Torres stood up and closed the distance between the two of them. She knelt in front of him.
"What's going on, chief?"
Silence filled the room and Callie looked up to Bailey who was shaking her head.
The plan couldn't work, there was no way they could hide this situation from the others, they needed to know to help, differently the secret would soon blow up.
"We have a code black going on"
"What?"
Despite Teddy's astonishment, Callie wasn't. She had sensed it. Only she couldn't imagine the reason of it.
Last time it was a unexploded bomb in a human cavity.
Now… the hospital looked normal, she had arrived without problems, all areas looked open and available. There was no evidence of bomb squad or anything.
"What's going on?"
"I can't tell you"
Richard looked up and stood, he had gained his composure back. His voice raised in accordance to his posture.
"I can't tell you. But you'll follow my orders as it was what I asked… ordered you to do"
"Chief… it won't work like this"
Bailey pleading voice sounded in the room and Richard looked at her sighing.
This was already awful this way and they hadn't the permission to seed the news to everyone.
"It's what I want"
"But it won't work. And it's not what you want but what they want. And it will blow up, you know that. We have succeeded to keep it quiet till now but… you know it's just a matter of time and they need to know… they can help better"
"Just do what the hell you want"
Webber walked out of that room and it was the last thing Bailey expected.
It was also the last thing he wanted but he couldn't help it.
He couldn't rewind the tape of the night's events and tell other people, he couldn't relive that storm of emotions. Miranda was right. The other attendings needed to know. But he wasn't the one to inform them, he hadn't that strength in him anymore.
The four ladies watched him walking away with a frown of their faces, when his back disappeared behind the corner of the hallway, all the attention focused on Bailey.
She raised her hands to stop the upcoming questions. If they wanted to know, they had to let her talk and not stop as she wasn't sure she could actually do this.
"William Dunn…" she started and silenced immediately. She closed her eyes because this truth overcame every horror movie she had the nerve to watch.
"The serial killer?"
"Yeah… he killed the guards and… took Grey and Yang hostages"
"What?"
The shock and horror painted on her colleges reflected her own.
"Meredith is out now… Derek is in there"
"How did it happen?"
"It's too long and complicated now and I really need to go back in there. Just do what the Chief asked you… We need… we need to keep this place moving… Please"
"Ok"
"Thanks"
"How are they?"
"We don't know. We just know they're alive but… nothing more"
"How is Owen?"
"What do you think? He's sick worried. As Mark… and everybody else"
Her lower lip quivered and trembled. She grimaced and Callie launched hugging her before she could break down.
"Ssh… it's gonna be fine… it's gonna be fine"
She rubbed her back soothingly, trying to calm her down.
Bailey was a strong woman, she was the nazy, she could hold her nerve in every tiring and texting situation. But Torres imagined this had been too much. The night of worry and anxiety had taken away every drop of energy and strength. She had to be exhausted, she had to be on the brink. She sniffled one last time before wriggle out of her grip.
"I need to go now"
"Ok"
"Just keep us updated"
"Sure"
"And tell Mark I'm here if he wants to talk or… anything"
"I will"
"Owen too…"
She nodded and closed the door behind her back.
Arizona, Callie and Teddy shared a look, nobody could say anything, do anything. They had promised they could manage the hospital but they had no strength and will to do it.
Two of the people they worked daily with were in a potentially mortal situation in that precise moment, in that very place. Their dearest friends were buried by a situation bigger than their worst nightmare. And they were apart, they were far, they couldn't communicate.
How were they supposed to go out and talk to residents, take care of patients, put their best face on while all of this was going on?
Someone knocked and the door opened. A nurse appeared, all smiley and sweet as nurses were supposed to be. Only this time it felt out of place, it felt wrong, it felt stupid. She noticed something was wrong with the three surgeons, but she had a task to do.
"I'm sorry to bother you but dr. Webber told you'd manage the wing today. We have a major trauma coming in… three minutes…"
"We'll be there, thank you"
Dunn was observing Cristina from the little window on the top of the door. She had reached the end of the hallway but hadn't taken the bag yet. She was lingering there, shifting her weight from one foot to another to do something, to breath in or relax or whatever.
"Dr. Yang looks pretty agitated. I thought she would be a little more tough than this…"
"Let her out of this"
William smiled innerly, he turned to look at Sheperd. It was the first time he actually asked him something. And, as he expected and suspected, it wasn't for his own benefit.
"What would be my fun if I would?" he approached Derek grinning "it's so more interesting like this. And you perfectly know why I won't let her go"
"Why don't you just do what you want and finish this off?"
William chuckled, he was excited but confused too. As the doctor didn't sound scared or desperate or anything he was supposed to be. He was somehow defeating him, facing him once more.
"As I don't know how this will end, doc. I just have a few plans… one in particular but… the rest is still to be written. Do you want to know about it?"
Their eyes locked and Dunn hissed through gritted teeth words nobody would never want to hear.
"I plan to break you… piece after piece, I plan to destroy and take everything which makes you who you are. I thought it would be easier but I was wrong. I give you this… You're bold or stupid enough to face me… you're not scared to pay the consequences. But I guess the truth is that you don't know what I'm capable of"
"You made it pretty clear"
"Do you think so? As you would be surprised to get how this is new for me too. I don't manage stuff like this usually. Usually… you'd be dead already. But I want to take it slow this time. Killing you… is not what would satisfy me. It would be too fast… it takes time to do what I want. And I'll get what I want, you can swear that. Wait for it… it will come. And in the while I'll use dr. Yang to keep you good and meek"
"You're just a coward"
Dunn splayed the gun to Derek's head out of rage.
"Don't push you luck…"
"I'm just telling you what I think. Don't you care?"
"I'm dying to hear it"
"You're a coward. You keep saying you're smart and brave but the truth is that you're a coward. People are scared of a gun, not of you. They were scared of a knife, not of you. You use these things as you can't achieve what you want using words. You use force as it's the only way you know. So… if you think you can close up in here and maltreat a woman on my watch without I do anything to avoid id… you're just fooling yourself"
"No… I'm not. I count on it. I count of the fact that you'll do whatever you can to protect this woman. It's my added bonus. You'll fight for her and she'll stay here to see you pay for it. Do you think she's going to forget about that? No… she won't. It's gonna be like dying slowly for the both of you. And when I decide it's enough, someone will pick up your pieces. It's harder to play the hero when you perfectly know what's going to happen next. And it will happen… even now… As soon as Yang comes back in here, we'll settle our account, doctor. I use to take what I want. You placed yourself on my path and this will cost you something. So keep that in mind… you want to oppose me? It's like putting yourself on a silver plate"
"No loss than… we both know this is about me. It was about Meredith as she led to me. Now you have what you want, let Cristina go"
"I can't. Really… as Falks thinks I'm going to kill you and he'll send his guys in here if we were alone. I need her here, she's my time insurance. I guess I made pretty clear what I need time for. Even if… I have to admit… now I'm breathing in a woman's scent… it feels awesome and exciting on so many levels"
Derek's face tensed. His brain had registered every word William had said. And the situation wasn't promising, this was crystal clear. He meant to hurt him psychologically, to drag him from every hell and mistake he had done in his life. And the result was sure. He trusted him when he said he would break him. But Cristina wasn't part of this picture, she had to be fine. As if being put under the ringer by Dunn was destroying, seeing him making violence… any kind, but sexual in particular, to Cristina would kill Derek on the spot.
Rape was something horrifying, to a certain extent, more than murder itself. It was like killing a woman without materially doing it. Leaving an empty body survive without a soul to fill it. Derek was scared of many things, but this was beyond imagination.
He could try to take blows, hits… everything. But he couldn't survive to witness something like that.
"Why didn't you call me immediately?"
Something changed in William's eyes, Sheperd saw it. He couldn't guess if it was good or not, but the question had affected him. He forced the moment repeating it again.
"Why didn't you call me in here immediately? Why did you take them instead of me and someone else? Don't tell me it was casual as you don't do casuals… What was it? Were you scared?"
"It's not me the one who's scared. You had to see them… trembling and pleading like two girlies… A piteous scene… But I knew having Grey would attract you. And you did come. Plus now she'll be feeling guilty and crushed. She'll hate herself for not trusting you, for not hearing you out. How do you think she is feeling right now? I give you a hint… Look how you are feeling and double it. Poor Grey… you see? I'm like a hurricane. I leave a path of destruction behind me. And I'm not done yet"
"This didn't answer me. You were scared you couldn't handle men and brought women in here. As this is what you do. You attack women behind their backs… I guess you did that with Cristina too… Really amazing"
"What the hell is your problem?"
"My problem are men who keep laying fingers on women"
"Well… lucky you it happens I'm going to lay them on a man now… I don't know whether you'll like it or not… I guess you won't but… whatever you like…"
Derek held his stare and Dunn sighed. A quick thought crossed his mind and he vocalized it.
"Since you're so concerned about dr. Yang here… we could make a deal"
A deal with the devil… that was the issue here.
"I promise you I won't touch her if you'll be a good boy to me"
"That's what I've been doing since I got here"
"No… you tried… but you didn't do it completely. I want this… I want you to surrender to me completely. Follow me and my speeches… and just take when I want to give… It's pretty simple. You'll be my doormat, she'll be fine"
Derek swallowed and William read through his fears. He stretched his hand and touched his cheek, stroking it quietly.
"I know it's scary… let me do of you whatever I want… but finally… what better choice do you have? You're here… hurt and tied up… I could kill her as soon as she gets back in here and you couldn't do anything… just blink her screams away… I give you this chance. Your pride for her life… it's just about this finally. Answering me without I force you to… opening your arms when I want to win the scratch in my hands… and look me in the eyes all time long… You know… these are the first three tips on the "Dismantling men" manual. And it will be my pleasure to teach you the others"
A noise came from outside the room before Derek had to chance to say anything, William stood up and reached the door. Cristina was outside walking towards them, a bag in her hands. He opened the door and went standing behind Derek, the barrel of the gun to his temple.
"Just be still and nothing will happen… if Yang didn't play any number on me of course"
The door opened and Cristina stopped dead in her tracks seeing Dunn ready to shoot Derek.
"What…"
"Just drop the bag on the chair"
She was paralyzed and her feet refused to move. She flinched when William tightened his grip on Derek's neck.
"Ok…"
She did what asked and stopped in that new position. The door was still wide open in front of her.
"Close the door"
Her heart sank when she obliged. The light invading the hallway ceased and she was back in the gloomy light of that room, alone, defenseless. She had experienced a moment of freedom, of normalcy and the new captivity weighted on her like a stone.
She closed her eyes backing against the wall, hearing Dunn closing all the possible ways in and out. She breathed out trying to feel positive, the free walk had helped her strained nerves and she felt better. She had felt better once out. But now she was back in and panic was investing her again.
She had expected to see someone friendly, maybe meet someone. But it was pretty evident Dunn had arranged stuff to minimize human contacts, he had asked for supplies but avoided to have people walking right outside the room, he had organized this making sure nobody would talk to her, support her, inviting her to walk away and never look back.
Cristina hadn't thought about it… she had never taken into consideration to leave and abandon Derek to his fate, not after what he had done for her, not after all that he had proved. But one thing was avoiding the idea, another was having a door in front of her leading to safety and warm and just ignoring it. If someone had been there to push her, maybe she would have done it. If Owen had been there… she didn't know.
But he wasn't.
She didn't even know if the Chief would inform him about what was going on. Nobody knew of their romance, they weren't technically together. So he could be in an OC room to wonder what was happening to her.
She had been so overwhelmed by all the things going on that she hadn't asked about him. Derek knew something, he surely knew about the two of them, he was in good terms with Hunt now, they went along, shared some drink after shifts. And Owen had a soft spot for the wilderness and had been really impressed when Derek had shown him his land. He had asked him the permission to go up there to have some lonely walk in the morning and Sheperd had accepted of course. So sometimes they went out together to have a jog or to fish.
More than this, Derek was with him when Webber informed them of Dunn's kidnapping. He surely knew which had been his reaction, if Webber had kicked him out or not.
By now it was all she was thinking about.
It occupied her mind, it mastered her thoughts, it was what she needed to fight the fear which was choking her throat all over again.
She slid against the wall and crouched on the floor.
William was examining the content of the bag, their meal apparently didn't satisfy him completely.
"This smells like crap…"
"It's hospital food… what did you expect?"
"Something which won't have me throw up… Anyway… I'm not hungry by now. Are you?"
"No"
"Alright then… I guess this can wait. How did your lonely walk go?"
Cristina looked down, she really couldn't talk to this man, not after what had happened minutes before. She couldn't look at him, hold his stare. She felt humiliated and he hadn't done more than brushing her shoulder through the material of her scrub top. It was stronger than her will not to bother him, it was stronger than any sense of rationality.
"Hey… are you deaf or what?"
Dunn's voice sounded pissed and Cristina closed her eyes, recoiling against the wall. She waited for a new assault but it never came. The angry words she had been fearing to hear never reached her ears, an exasperated sigh did. She opened her eyes to identify the source of it. To her surprise and relief William was still far away, much closer to Derek now.
"You're lucky we made a pact while you were gone…"
Her eyes widened in shock, her breath shortened. What did this mean? He hadn't forced her to answer or yelled at her. He was unbelievably calm, but the evil light was still shining in his features. She started to feel scared before he made anything.
"What do you mean?"
He shrugged, walking in the room quietly. He had finally found something of his liking in the bag the police had given them, he was peeling off a banana and taking big bites of it, chewing and avoiding her stare.
William Dunn enjoyed this like nothing else: being the centre of the attention, having people hanging on his words. And now he had it all. He was just procrastinating the pleasure to deliver her the sense of his conversation with Sheperd, he was creating the suspense, raising her agitation. And he wanted to make sure to eat every little detail of her expression. He threw the banana skin in a corner of the room, scrubbing his hands and chewing the last piece of it.
"Well… I guess it's easier to show you than explaining… Doc…"
Her glare shifted to Derek, he had been sitting the whole time without moving or saying anything. He hadn't rebelled when William had prodded her, he hadn't tried to protect her. He looked… resigned.
What had happened while she was out?
He didn't look hurt… more hurt than he was before.
He was standing up, careful to avoid her eyes. He raised to his full height, his pupils fixed on William who was standing beside him.
"What… Sheperd?"
Cristina tried to establish a contact but Derek didn't look into her direction.
"It's fine Cristina…"
His words sounded weak, like he couldn't escape what was going to happen, like he couldn't brace to tell her what this discussion had concerned. And this made her crazy with worry.
William chuckled, his hand landed on Derek's shoulder, patting it.
Friend to friend. But they weren't friends. And Cristina was sure he had bad intentions.
"Actually this is not fine, doc. As I'm going to work on you…"
Dunn raised his knee forcefully bringing it to Derek's groin, an agony moan filled the room, Sheperd bent forward, leaning against William's chest for support. When the man made a step back, he fell on his knees and then to the ground, flat on his stomach. He kept coughing, curled on himself to protect his aching anatomy. Cristina knew a hit like that could knock a man down. The groin was the weakest and most delicate part of the man's body. And she was sure Dunn hadn't chosen it by chance. He wanted to hurt, but also punish Derek for protecting her. She made a step towards him but Dunn stopped her.
"Relax… he's going to be fine… and this is just the beginning…"
"Please…"
"I repeat… relax… and enjoy"
He started to walk around Derek who was still on the floor, gasping to get air and to breathe. His hand was resting protectively on his lower regions, Cristina saw with horror that he was spitting up blood, raising a wave of excitement from William.
"So much power… so much weakness… It's kind of funny the most virile part of the man's body is also the weakest. I guess it hurts like hell…"
Cristina started to cry when she saw Derek trying to stand and collapsing again, a grimace of pain contorting his face.
"Old Greeks evirated enemies… this must mean something, don't you think?" he looked to Derek and then to Cristina, his plan was working perfectly. "How are the boys… or jewels… or whatever you use to call them? I guess you're not so proud of them by now. This is how I felt half an hour ago, Sheperd. I was ready… excited and you took it away from me. This was how my balls felt… very angry. Enjoy the feeling and pull yourself together"
He approached Cristina, gripping her shoulders from behind. He started to message her, a parody of the relaxing messages Hunt used to administer her after a day of surgeries and tiredness.
"You're in knots… Breathe… you're safe"
"What did you do to him?"
"Nothing… we just had a man to man speech. And we made a deal… I told you"
"What kind of deal?"
"A good one… for everyone. He was very worried about you… especially since I admitted I felt attracted by you… He was afraid I would have tried another approach so… he traded your safety for… cooperation"
Cristina felt her cheeks wetting with tears again. She focused her irises on the man lying on the ground. This was why he hadn't fought against Dunn, why he hadn't protested. He knew she was safe. And William had probably also sworn him revenge.
Compliance was the price of her life.
Dunn left her in the mid of the room and towered Derek, now barely sitting on the floor.
"Are you still in there, doc?"
"Yeah…"
"Come on… pull your voice out… Are you in there?"
"I am"
Cristina knew it was a lie, even William had to realize it.
But they were in the middle of a sadist game, where the only purpose was to unleash and enjoy gratuitous violence. And Dunn took the chance to place a rough kick to Derek's back sending him on the floor again. Cristina snapped to his rescue but Dunn held her tight, his arms circling her shoulders and keeping her still. She froze in his undesired hug, flinching when he spoke right into her ear.
"He did this for you, Yang, I don't know why… but he is doing this for you. So sit down and enjoy the show before I change my mind even if … said between the two of us… this is so much better than sex"
He shoved her against the wall, Cristina's face rested on the cold surface. She heard William's steps going far from her, she turned to look at him just in time to see him place a new blow to Derek's stomach. The doctor rolled on the floor and then stopped, gasping for air.
William was circling around him like a vulture. This had been his choice and he meant to make it the worst possible. He waved his foot again but it collided smacking against Sheperd's forearms, bent on his torso to protect it. The groan escaping the doctor's lips brought a smile to Dunn's face.
"This wasn't our deal… show me your tummy, doc"
Unbelievably, Derek lowered his arms and defenses and left room to his attacker to kick him again. The violence of the hit lifted him from the ground, he landed some feet away, coughing and panting. He took long moments before opening his eyes again. Cristina thought he would stand up, but apparently he had no strength left to do it. He rolled on his back, opening his arms to ease the inspiration. His chest was rising and falling too quickly, he didn't look able to catch his breath and slow the pace. He brought his hands on his heart, breathing in and out.
William's voice reached him in his limbo.
"So… having second thoughts? We can still resettle the borders of our agreement if you want…"
Derek kept silent. Silence was stubborn denial.
"So you're serious about this… bad idea… I have to go serious myself then"
He reared his feet and Cristina started to scream when he hit Derek's sides over and over again, the air filled with noises of effort and strain from one side and moans and groans from the other. When William had enough and stopped raging on Derek, the doctor laid still on the floor and Cristina's face was hidden in her hands.
Dunn wiped the sweat from his brows and walked away, sending a look full of contempt first to Sheperd then to Cristina.
"Why are you crying?" he hissed her "you should be happy he gave his ribs for you… I wonder if he'll do it again next time" he took a sip of water and cleared his throat "stop as you're getting on my nerves".
He followed her gaze, resting on Derek's unmoving form.
"Put him upright… I'm not done with him yet"
He sank on his chair and Cristina knelt near Derek, she rolled him gently on his back.
He looked conscious… his fingers were moving but his eyes were shut… she stroked his cheek and he flinched, she could feel him trembling under her touch.
This was Derek Sheperd, her boss.
This was the man she had been blaming for months for Meredith's unhappiness.
This was the man who she used to define an ass.
This ass was giving his own life to protect her.
And she hadn't even asked.
Meredith loved this guy. She would die if something happened to him. And Cristina realized, in that very moment, she would die too.
As hating him was part of her character.
Cristina Yang hated McDreamy.
Cristina Yang liked Derek Sheperd.
Maybe she couldn't stop this, maybe she couldn't talk him out of this crazy deal he had reached, but the one thing she could and will do, was saying out loud how she felt about him.
I'm sorry about this... really.
But this epilogue will give room to what I have in mind for the next chapter.
The rest... is still going on through my mind and I have to make order.
I'm in two mood about it.
Don't know.
I appreciate all of your reviews, your opinions about my story.
I know it's rough but William Dunn is a serial killer not a boy scout.
Just remember about this.
R & R and see you asap: first with new episode of "The finale that will change everything" (don't know when...) and then with another chaper of this one.
See you guys!