A/N: So I've had a lot of events going on but now since it's passed graduation everything should slow down. In summer, I'm hoping to update weekly.
NOTE: Sickening chapter up ahead with lots of crazy Tori and forced Cam+Tori romance. But it will all get better. I promise.
Oh and PS trigger warning. This one is a surprise though.
Cam's POV
I walk into school the day of the dance with so many questions and thoughts in my head. Last night, I cut myself because I was so angry and sad and confused. My life was going great. Perfect, actually. Until that little bitch Tori came in and screwed it all up. Now I have to tell Maya that I'm taking Tori and I can't even tell her the real reason I'm taking Tori to the dance. And to top it all off Maya is probably going to break up with me because of it. This completely and utterly sucks.
Lost in my thoughts, I don't realize that my feet have taken the familiar route to Maya's locker, and by the time I realize it, it's too late. Maya has seen me, and she is waving and has a huge grin plastered on her face. And because of some spoiled bitch, I have to go and ruin her happiness.
"Hey," Maya greets me. She's still very chipper when I have reached her, but she notices something is wrong quickly. "What's wrong?" Her face is flushed.
I scratch the back of my head uncomfortably. "Umm... I have something to tell you." I look above Maya and see Tori staring daggers at me. It's a silent warning not to tell Maya of the blackmail part of our deal.
"What is it?" She questions innocently. I stare at my feet for a moment so she puts her arms around my waist. "Baby, you can tell me anything." She gives me a sad smile and then bites her lip. She looks so lost, her bright blue eyes show her innocence in a way words could never comprehend.
"You're gonna hate me after I tell you this."
"You're scaring me. Just tell me!" Maya exclaims. She closes her eyes for a brief moment to calm down.
"I-I'm sorta going to the..." I trail off for a second. "To the dance with umm... Tori." I say her name slowly.
Maya jumps back. "You're what?!" She screams. "Why?! How?!"
"I'm sorry and I-" I am cut off by the she-devil herself.
"He realized he wanted better, right Cammy?" Tori says. She leans in and nibbles on my ear and whispers, "Play along with it or deals off." She wraps her arms around my waist, and I reluctantly put my arm around her shoulder.
"Yeah," is all I can manage to say.
"How could you?!" Maya screams through her tears. "You are a liar and a jerk and a cheater! You said you loved me! I thought I could trust you but I was wrong! I hate you, Campbell Saunders! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! We are broken up forever! Go to hell, both of you!" Maya's face changes briefly to a look of sadness that breaks my heart, but then it goes back to fuming rage. She spends another moment, just looking at Tori and me. She's wondering if this is real or not. Then, Maya storms off, crying.
It takes all my strength not to run after her, but I can't let Tori tell people our secrets. But is it worth Maya and I not being together? At the moment, it is because I have no time to think about this. Tori smashes her lips to mine and I don't kiss back. She pulls away and whispers in my ear again. "Kiss back." Then she kisses me again, but I don't kiss back. "I said 'Kiss back!'" This time I regretfully kiss back, but this isn't just a kiss. Tori makes us go I to a full out make out session in the hallway. Gross.
...
I skipped the rest of my classes today. I went home and cried till my doorbell rang after school officially got out.
I spring up from bed, hoping it was Maya. I look in the mirror and do the best I can to cover up the fact that I was crying. Then, I run downstairs and swing the door open. Instead of finding my dream girl there, I find my nightmare. Tori. "How did you find my new billet house?" I demand more than ask.
"I have my ways." She pushes her way into the house. "So I was thinking we go up to your room and..." Her sentence trails off but I know where this is going."
"No."
"Cam, we have a deal, remember? Besides I'm a great kisser." She says. "And I can do some other things with my mouth, too." Tori winks.
"No."
"Then I guess deals off?" Tori asks.
I sigh. I'm defeated again. I wonder how worth it this deal is. "Okay," I say, sadly.
"Good. Now let's get started."
...
We made out for about half an hour till Tori said she had to get ready for the dance, but we didn't go any further than that. Making out with Tori was the grossest thing I've ever done. I'm not sure if this deal is worth it anymore. But I can't think about that right now because my mind is preoccupied with thoughts about Maya.
Pretty soon it's time for the dance. I quickly throw on a white Oxford shirt and a red tie. I grab my wallet, phone, and my billet father's car keys. I get to borrow his car tonight even though I only have my permit. I turn on my phone for a brief second to see if Maya texted me. Nothing. I sigh; I know it's going to take a lot to earn back her trust. But I'm prepared to fight for her, till the day I die.
I walk down the stairs, out the door, and to my billet dad's car. I get in and drive to Tori's house. The roads are familiar because I used to live there.
I arrive at Tori's house after about ten minutes of driving. I turn the key, and get out of the car. I walk up to the door, and ring the doorbell. Literally right after that, the door swings open to reveal Tori Santamaria. She was waiting at the door for me.
Tori appearance makes me want to gag. She is wearing a tight red dress, and her hair is in a ugly, but supposed to be fancy, bun. Also, some six inch stripper heels. I keep wishing she'll just turn into my sweet, elegantly innocent Maya.
"Cam, you look great," Tori complements seductively.
"Yeah," I agree, but I can tell she wanted me to complement her too. Hah, no.
"Come inside. We need to take pictures." Tori demands.
This time I actually voice my thoughts. "Hah, no."
...
Tori and I arrive at the dance after an extremely awkwardly silent car ride. We get out of the car, and I decide to walk in front of Tori instead of with her. But she speeds up and grabs my hand. I instinctively pull away, but she grabs my hand again.
I walk fast into the school, wondering if Maya will be there. I hope so. I walk into the gym, where the dance is being held, and see her! She looks stunning in her red dress that is slightly similar to Tori's, but Maya's is much more playful and innocent. Maya is here with...another guy?
I start hyperventilating. Maya is here with another guy. A guy who she seems to be having a great time with. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god!
Who is he? Why is he with her? What about me? All these questions are running through my head, and I think I might have a breakdown. Breathe, Campbell. Breathe. I tell myself.
I calm down just a little; my breathing is back to normal. But my anxiety over this whole situation is really getting to me and has not subsided in the least. I don't know what to do about anything.
"Campbell?" Tori asks. "You look pale. Are you alright?"
"No, I'm not actually." Hearing Tori's voice hasn't made me sad like it used to. No, not sad; I am angry. Angry at Tori, angry at the guy Maya is with, and mostly angry at myself. "I'm angry, you little bitch. Angry at everything that has happened in the past two days! That should be me with Maya, having a great time! I shouldn't be here with you against my goddamn will! You know what? Go tell everyone my secret! See if I care!" I yell but with the music blaring, nobody really seems to notice.
"Okay, will do." Tori chirps, then walks away.
Now that Tori is gone, I start frantically looking for Maya. When I was screaming at Tori, I lost her sight of her and that guy in the crowd. I look for her for what seems like forever. Then I finally see Tristan standing by the punch bowl talking to, who I can only assume is, Fab, the guy Maya said Tristan likes. I hastily walk over to him, but in the end I break into a run. I reach Tristan and tap him on the shoulder. He slowly turns away from Fab, and looks at me for a second. He rolls his eyes at me, and turns around. I guess Maya told him what happened.
"Tristan! Seriously, I need to find her. Please." I beg.
"Why, Saunders? So you can break her heart again?" Tristan asks. I flinch at his words because it physically stings to hear I broke the love of life's heart.
"No, Tristan, I have reasons. I was protecting us. Tori is a bitch. A huge bitch. And would never date her, especially over Maya."
"Well, I don't really believe you, but Maya was over there," he says pointing near the makeshift stage. "Last time I saw her, she was with Zig over there."
"Zig?" I inquire
"Her date tonight." Tristan says slowly.
I somehow maintain my cool. "Okay, thanks, Tristan."
"You're welcome. But don't tell Maya that I helped. And if you hurt her again, I swear I'll get my brother to beat the hell out of you."
"I won't. I promise." I say, and wave good-bye to Tristan and Fab.
I look everywhere for Maya, but I don't see her. I do, however, find Zig, the guy Maya was with earlier. He isn't with Maya like earlier. "Zig," I yell to get his attention.
"Hey, oh dude, you're Campbell, right?" A flash of recognition appears on his face, and I nod. "The guy Maya wouldn't shut up about."
What? I think. Maya didn't shut up about me? "Yeah, umm do you know where she is?"
"Nah, man, she ran off after I suggested we sleep together tonight." Zig explains.
I stand there dumbfounded. Then, rage sweeps over me like a blanket and I punch him hard in the mouth. I storm off to where I know Maya goes when she's sad. The greenhouse.
...
MAYA'S POV
After Zig suggested we have sex, I went to the one place I know is safe. I'm currently in the greenhouse balling my eyes out. "Why are all guys such dicks?" I wonder aloud.
Then I see it. A knife. A large, angry one that is calling to me. "Use me, use me. I can take away all the pain and misery you're feeling. No more Campbell. No more Zig. No more Tori. No more chemo therapy. No more cancer. Just use me. Think about it, two, vertical cuts on your wrists and you're done." It beckons to me.
Oh my god. An I really thinking about killing myself over some boy drama? I've never self-harmed before and now I'm thinking about suicide.
But it's not just some boy drama. It's my life. I could get rid of all the pain. My parents could stop wondering whether or not I'll die from cancer. Katie can stop worrying about her dumb little sister. Cam can be with Tori without any regrets. It will be better for everyone, especially me.
I grab the tool that will hopefully end my life, and press it to my left wrist. It takes all the strength I have, both emotionally and physically, to cut in my skin, but I do it. Then, I cut my other wrist without hesitation.
"What did I just do?" I scream. "Oh my god." I think about screaming for help, but then I realize what I just did. I set myself free.
Free from everything in life. Free from cancer, and Campbell, and Tori, and my parents, and Zig, and Katie. "I'm free!" I yell.
I begin to lose consciousness, and take notice of all the blood around me. A symbol of freedom. Right before I blackout, I see Campbell running through the door of the greenhouse toward me.
A/N: Maya is NOT dead yet. She just blacked out from lose of blood.
And self harm is a really, really bad thing. It's not something to poke fun at or laugh at. So if you do self harm, please talk to someone about it. A friend, a parent, a therapist, a teacher, anyone. Please, don't self harm.