Chapter 14

Sian pov

OK so maybe mentally I was ready to have sex but I don't think I was ready to physically after having Kanda, I've been cramping and bleeding a bit since then and it's not my period because that isn't for a while yet. I mentioned it to Tong and he said to see how I go and if I get any worse we'll go and see the doctor, even though I'm getting better I'm not sure what to do about the shop. It turns out while I was gone my family have been taking care of it so the customers don't suffer, mum and dad are there this morning and I thought about going with them but then I don't know if I'm ready to go back to a hectic work place.

I do miss going to work because it's a reason to get out of the house, I'm still a little uncomfortable being outside the house because it's became like a safety place for me. I do need to try and go out for walks and things soon because I need to build up Kanda's immune system, maybe I'll ask Tong if he would like to take a walk in the park. Speak of the devil and he shall appear I smile as I see my Tong enter, he sits down beside me on the couch as I hold our daughter.

"What are you smiling at you goof ball" He asks.

"Just thinking about how far I've come since everything happened I think I'm ready to take the next step" I say.

"Which would be what" He asks.

"Leaving the safety of the house maybe try walking Kanda round the park in her pram we need to start building her immune system by taking her further than just the garden" I say.

"That's true and you know I always support you when you want to try something but I think you should leave it for another day or two so we can see how you are physically" He says.

"I'm not as sore now and the bleeding stopped" I say.

"Well that's good but still I don't think you should push yourself physically for a couple of days just until we make sure you're OK" He says.

"I know but I just need to get some fresh air, I've been in here for weeks now" I say.

"I know baby and I promise as soon as we know for sure that you're OK we'll start going out for walks alright" He says and gently strokes my hair.

"OK I know you're right I need to be healthy first before I can do anything major" I agree.

"I just don't want anything to happen to you we've been through so much and I want all that to be over now so we can enjoy our life together now" He says.

"I know and you're right I do need to slow down and be patient I'm only human and I need to give myself time" I say.

"It's only a day or two longer I promise" He says.

"OK so what do we do since everyone else is away out" I say.

"How about we watch a movie while our little lady has her afternoon nap" He says.

"OK sounds good to me, do you want to pick something while I tuck her in" I ask.

"Yeah sure" He says.

Being careful not to wake Kanda I carry her upstairs and lay her down in her cot, I switch the bedroom baby monitor on then grab the other one and head back downstairs making sure it's switched on as well. Even though we have baby monitors I'm not very confident in leaving her in a room on her own so I still check on her every so often, I enter the living room to discover Tong has already set the movie up.

"We're watching Moana" I say not being able to stop my giggle.

"Well we need to get used to watching kids movies because this is what our little princess will be watching when she gets to the age where she wants to watch TV" He says.

"That's true OK Moana it is then" I say and sit down.

He sits beside me and hits play while I snuggle up to him, the movie is actually really good and it's bringing out the kid inside of me. It's nice to just snuggle on the couch and relax don't get me wrong but I am dying on some fresh air, Tong plays with my hair as we lay there and it makes me feel safe and loved. The movie finishes just over an hour later and Tong switches everything off, he asked if I wanted to watch something else but I said no.

"So what do you want to do now" He asks.

"Can we go out into the garden" I ask.

"Sure but we sit down and don't do too much walking around out there" He says.

"OK that's fine at least it's a little fresh air" I say.

"OK take it slow" He says holding his hand out.

I take his hand and we walk out to the back garden where the memories of our wedding day make me smile, it's hard to believe this all started with just a simple holiday to Thailand. I never expected to fall in love and I also never expected to be kidnapped, sexually assaulted and beaten several times for that love. A lot of people would think I'm crazy for staying by Tong's side and not leaving him but if I could go back and do it all again I wouldn't change it for the world, I would do everything exactly the same because I love him and I love our daughter. I could not imagine my life without them, my life would be empty without them.

"Are you OK you've gone a little quiet" He asks me.

"I'm just thinking that if I ever had the chance to go back in time I would everything exactly the same because I regret nothing because I have you and Kanda and that makes everything I've gone through worth it because in the end I have the both of you" I say.

"Sometimes I wish I had of had the strength to stay away that day you were in the market you never would have had to go through all this pain" He says.

"Don't say that Tong all feeling all the pain in the world is worth it as long as I get to be with you" I say.

I move so I'm sitting in his lap and peck his lips, my heart soars at being close to him. If I have to feel all the pain in the world to be with him then so be it, nothing will keep us apart and I will always find my way to him no matter what stops us. We sit out there for another little while with me snuggled in his arms then we head back inside so we can check on Kanda, Tong picks her up and holds her close waking her. She needs fed again soon so we head downstairs where we curl up on the couch and I bare my chest so she can latch on and feed, Tong plays with my hair as I feed our child.

The rest of the family will be home in a couple of hours then we'll have dinner together and talk for a bit before we slowly start to make our way up to bed, Kanda sleeps well at night only waking up a couple of times to be fed and changed. We are supposed to take turns but sometimes when it's my turn Tong tells me to go back to sleep and gets up with her instead, even though I've told him I'm OK to get up with her during the night he still wants me to rest as much as I can. I humour him because I know it makes him feel less guilty when he takes care of me, plus I would be lying if I said I didn't like being treated like a queen. I know he just wants to make sure I'm safe and take care of me, he pecks my lips and I snuggle up to him as Kanda continues her feed. This is my home.