A/N: Hello my darlings! My Christmas gift to you all this year is a new chapter. Woohoo!
In all seriousness, I really hope you guys like this one. In this chapter, Marcus has his own chat with Leelee and we finally learn why she's decided to stretch the truth in regards to her family. There will be another small flashback as well as more information revealed about the Tobias incident. I loved writing this interaction between Marcus and Leelee. I think they're just so cute together but I also feel like I'm able to delve into a different part of Leelee when I'm writing her conversations with Marcus. Leelee is someone who feels like she can't risk being vulnerable or letting her guard down in front of anyone. Marcus is an exception to this rule, and the only one she truly trusts enough to be herself in front of.
Littlest1: I've always loved the relationship between Lea and Douglas and always felt that Lea understood Douglas the best and vice versa. I really wanted to try to portray that as well as dig into the relationship between Douglas and Donald. Can't say if Douglas will figure it out before everyone else, but he definitely plays a key part in Leelee's decision making.
luminouslight1313: Thank you! Really hope you like this chapter!
The name and inspiration for this chapter comes from the song Over My Head by The Fray. I feel like this song definitely describes Leelee and even Marcus as well in a way. I highly recommend listening to it because it's a terrific song.
As always, please leave a review! It would be the best Christmas present ever! Hope you guys enjoy!
Warnings: Language and some depressing feels.
Chapter 14: Over My Head
Marcus couldn't help but smile as he watched Leelee pace back and forth. The younger teen was cute when she was flustered.
"They're kidding right? They've got to be kidding! I'm not cut out to be a leader!"
"Don't you think you're overreacting? Just a little?" Marcus took the glare he received from the girl as a no.
"Princess, you're the most qualified and most skilled out of all of us. It makes sense to have you be the leader of the Resistance. People know you, or at least know of you. You're easy to trust. Plus, you know how to read people." Leelee huffed and ran a hand through her short hair.
"I'm in way over my head Marcus." She admitted, looking up and meeting the reformed android eye to eye. "What if I make the wrong choice? What if I make more than one wrong choice? What if I cause people to die?" Leelee started to hyperventilate.
"Lee, you're spiraling." Marcus grabbed the young woman by the shoulders and shook her lightly. The reformed android sighed.
"We're at war Leelee. People will die. But they will also know the risks if they decide to join us. And we will have their backs. Just like they'll have ours. We'll get Krane and Giselle. I'm not sure when, or really even how yet, but we'll get them." By the end of his speech, Leelee had calmed down and gave Marcus a relieved smile.
"Thanks Eyebrows." She said. Marcus rolled his eyes but couldn't help but smile. He held out his pinky to her.
"I've got you're back Clever, always. No matter what the others might think of me." Lee took the outstretched finger in her own without any hesitation.
"I know." She said proudly. "I trust you."
Marcus pulled himself out of his flashback and started to mentally prepare himself for what he might find in the DA. The tension between the Davenports and Leelee had been high since the family had arrived in the future. The fight between Leelee and Donald proved it. But one thing Marcus knew that many others didn't was how badly the tension was effecting Leelee. One could argue that it was mostly her fault, but if there was one thing Marcus knew like the back of his hand it was Leelee Davenport and the same went vice versa.
Marcus was Leelee's person, and Leelee was his. Nobody understood them the way the two understood each other. Not even Daniel. And there was something grating on the Resistance leader. Something that was more or less the reason behind Lee keeping her family in the dark about who she really was. And one way or another, Marcus was getting to the bottom of it.
Marcus walked through the arena and over to the archery room. The door was closed, but the android could hear grunts of exertion as well as the sound of arrow after arrow being released. Marcus opened the door and found exactly what he was expecting to.
Leelee stood in the middle of the room with her back facing Marcus. A sandbag with a target was in front of the woman and had arrow after arrow sticking out of it. Each arrow had hit the bullseye, one after the other. When Leelee fired another arrow, it split the one in front of it in half and stuck. Marcus whistled, alerting Leelee to his arrival.
"What?" She said sharply. Marcus couldn't help but chuckle.
"We really need to work on your people skills." Leelee rolled her eyes but said nothing in response. Instead, she just fired another arrow.
"Danny and the others are worried about you." Marcus stated, Leelee's back still turned toward him. Leelee bit her lip, but made no other move to alert Marcus as to what was really going on inside her head.
"I'm fine." Swoosh went another arrow. Marcus sighed, crossing his arms. He'd expected this kind of answer.
"Let me rephrase that." He leaned against the door. "I'm worried about you. You've got your walls up again babe. More so than usual. And while I can just chalk that up to the situation, you're keeping everyone in the dark about what's going on in that pretty little mind of yours. Including me." Leelee didn't move a muscle, and Marcus knew he was reaching her. Leelee sighed before dropping her bow to her side and finally turning to face Marcus.
"What do you want from me Marcus?" She asked and Marcus pushed himself off of the wall, moving to stand right in front of his girlfriend.
"I want you to tell me what you're thinking." When Leelee still refused to meet Marcus' eyes, the older Resistance member put his hands on her shoulders.
"Talk to me Clever." The corners of Leelee's mouth went upward at the use of the nickname Marcus reserved for only when the two were alone. Marcus noticed and smiled. Still, Leelee was stubborn as a donkey. Even when it came to Marcus.
"There's nothing to talk about." She said, desperately wanting to drop the subject. Marcus saw that, but he also knew there was something bigger going on. Something that was the great explanation as to why Lee was acting the way she was.
"If there's nothing to talk about then why are you acting like this?" He asked honestly. "Why did you blow up at your dad? Because, as much as you might try to make yourself believe that it is, this is not about Hanna Lee."
"Of course it is!" Leelee pulled away from Marcus and refused to look him in the eye. The doubt, however, was clear in her voice. It always was whenever she tried to lie to Marcus. Leelee could lie to anyone, even herself. But she couldn't lie to M, and he knew that.
"Lee you're using Hanna as a crutch."
"I'm trying to keep her from getting hurt!"
"Her or you?" That shut Leelee up, and she turned away from Marcus. The male sighed, he knew he hit a nerve, but it needed to be done. Leelee was like an onion. You either peeled her back one layer at a time, or you used a knife.
Marcus walked over to her.
"I'm sorry." He apologized. "But something's going on with you Lee. You're walls are up, taller and thicker than ever and you need to talk to someone about it. We're in this together remember? You and me, in it for the long haul." Leelee's back was still turned, but Marcus held his pinky out anyway. Leelee sighed, but turned around. Interlacing her finger with her partner's.
"I'm going to lose them again." She whispered and Marcus looked slightly confused by the confession.
"Come again?"
"I'm going to lose them either way Marcus." Leelee repeated, but elaborated. "They don't belong in this timeline. They're eventually going to go back to the past and I'm gonna lose them all over again. I just thought that if I kept them at arms length, if I didn't tell them who I really was...this time around it wouldn't hurt as much." Marcus smiled sadly at his girlfriend.
"How's that working out for you?" He asked and Leelee sighed, lightly smacking her boyfriend on the arm.
Sometimes it sucked that Marcus could read her like an open book, but Leelee was always grateful for it. Marcus had gone through hell side by side with her, had seen her broken into a million different pieces, and yet he stayed. He helped her escape. Helped her find Daniel and her friends, helped make the Resistance, and kept her from giving up, even though there had been plenty of close calls. Leelee loved Daniel and always thought of him as her brother instead of her cousin, but as close as she was with him, even he wasn't on the same level as Marcus was. Leelee was broken and put back together so many times in that facility, she had almost done the unthinkable. Daniel had his own baggage, as did everyone else. Leelee was a big girl, she could and would face her problems on her own. Luckily, Marcus was around to remind her that she didn't have to.
"I know you're scared Lee." He said, grasping her shoulders once again. "But think of it this way. You're getting a second chance, do you really want to waste it?" When Leelee remained silent, Marcus pressed just a little deeper.
"You can finally say goodbye, see them one last time. Isn't that what you always wanted?"
Leelee was close, so fucking close to letting her guard down, letting Marcus all the way in. But nobody could get her walls to fall completely, not even him.
"So you're saying I should just let them in? Tell them everything? Risk more people getting hurt?" Marcus chose his next words carefully, recognizing the fact Leelee was getting even more defensive.
"I'm saying you should give them a chance." Leelee's shoulders sagged a little, another piece of her armor having been chipped away.
"Give them a chance?" Leelee repeated questionably. "Right. Like the chance I gave Tobias?" Marcus sighed, having expected this. In the end, this is where it all came back to.
"Lee Tobias was not your fault."
"I brought him into this Resistance Marcus." Leelee practically yelled. "I knew what he was, and I welcomed him with open arms. Hundreds of people died Marcus. Because of me. Because of my choice. That's on me." Marcus sighed, rubbing his eyes.
"Tobias had us all fooled Lee, not just you." Marcus told her. "You were wrong about him, but we all were. You weren't the only one he fooled." Leelee, however, wasn't having any of it.
"But I should have seen it!" Leelee insisted, and Marcus put his hands on his hips.
"Why? Why you?"
"Because I'm the leader! Because I-"
"Because you saw through me?" Marcus finished and Leelee let her mouth close with an audible snap. She hated bringing up that part of the past and Marcus did too, she knew he did. it was something that everyone locked up in a small little box and put in a corner never to be opened unless absolutely necessary and there was no other choice.
Marcus saw the look on his girlfriend's face and felt his heart break. Slowly, he brought Leelee into his arms and, when she didn't pull away, wrapped her in a hug. Leelee stiffened at first, but melted into the embrace after a few seconds. Marcus smiled and silently cheered at his small victory.
For one, too brief moment, Leelee's walls were down. They were Marcus' favorite moments, because they were moments when the two didn't need to be the leaders of the Resistance, they didn't need to be Leelee or M. They could just be them.
"We were wrong about Tobias Lee," Marcus said, the moment shattering and gone. Just like that. "and we'll be wrong again. As awesome as you are, your super power can't be right all the time." Leelee let out a dry chuckle. Before she was bionic, she'd joked and said that seeing through people was her super power. She could tell if people were good or not, it'd worked great with Marcus and Douglas. Not as great with Tobias.
"Still," Marcus said. "you shouldn't let fear get in the way of saying goodbye." Leelee chuckled and gave Marcus a look.
"Pot meet kettle." She said and Marcus looked confused.
"What do you-"
"You really think I haven't noticed you avoiding Douglas like the plague all day." Leelee responded. Now it was Marcus' turn to try to avoid the subject.
"That's not the same." He tried, but Leelee rolled her eyes.
"It's completely the same!" She argued, but immediately softened her tone.
"Marcus," She began, putting a hand on his arm. "you've missed him. And you also spent years feeling angry and abandoned. All of those emotions are okay. But, at the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, you and I both know if you don't try to mend you're relationship while you have the chance you will regret it for the rest of you're life." Marcus gave the smaller woman a tender smile.
"Now look who's pot calling the kettle black." He joked and Leelee resisted the temptation to stick her tongue out at him like a three year old.
"Yeah, yeah." She said, walls slowly starting to rebuild around her. Marcus sighed.
"Lee," He decided to try one last time. "What are you so afraid of. They're you're family. They love you."
"They love Lea." She stated, picking her bow back up and loading an arrow. "I'm not Lea. I haven't been her for a long, long time. I'm a completely different person now Marcus. They see Leelee...and they hate her. If they find out Leelee is really they're sister, what if..."
"They hate you too?" Marcus finished, finally understanding what he'd been missing. Leelee was Lea in the sense she was Adam, Bree and Chase's younger sister and Davenport's youngest daughter as well as Douglas' niece, but they weren't the same person. Lea Dooley was an energetic, funny, loving goofball. Leelee was the exact opposite. She was cold, hard, and all rough edges and angles. She was a war hardened woman who'd been through and done the unthinkable in order to survive and protect the people she cared about. Leelee had picked herself up off the ground so many times. She did what needed to be done in order to find a way to bring Krane and Giselle down. Leelee knew she wasn't a good person by any means, and she knew her family knew that as well. But it was different because they saw Leelee as a stranger. If they knew the truth, and if they still looked at Leelee the way they were now, it would kill her.
Marcus got it. He finally understood why Leelee had been acting the way she did. Leelee was the leader of the Resistance. She knew how to kick some serious ass and knew probably more than a hundred different ways to kill someone. But even she got scared.
"I know you're scared Lee, hell I am too." Marcus admitted. "But if you keep them in the dark forever, if you keep running away, you will hate yourself for the rest of you're life because you turned your back on your second chance." Although Leelee might not admit it, she needed this. Leelee blamed herself for what happened to her family and she dealt with that guilt by bottling up her feelings and pushing everyone around her away. Even Marcus at times.
Leelee was constantly afraid of messing up, afraid of getting hurt again because she failed the people she cared about. She was afraid of losing her family. Again.
Leelee sighed.
"You're right." She said and Marcus grinned.
"What was that?" He asked innocently and Leelee tossed him a glare. Marcus simply laughed.
"How'd those words taste coming out of your mouth?" He asked and Leelee made a face.
"Like vinegar." The reform android laughed again, causing Leelee to crack a smile. It was small, but it was real. Marcus wrapped his arms around her from behind and Leelee dropped her bow, letting her head rest on his right shoulder.
"I might not be right about everything," She said. "but at least I'm right about the important stuff."
"Oh yeah?" Marcus asked and Leelee's smile grew as she looked up at him.
"I was right about you."