"She's cold and she's cruel but she knows what she's doing. She pushed me in the pool at our last school reunion." - The Click Five
Chapter 14: …But I'll Cry If I Want To
It was only an hour or so into the party and Amu already had a headache from the impossibly loud music that filled the living room and trickled down the hallways. No one was even dancing. Amu was ready to suggest that they just turn the music off completely, as it was only a nuisance.
However, Saaya seemed to be the only one enjoying the music. She was dancing with some boy in the far corner of the room.
Amu continued people-watching and found that it was almost like a school reunion. She recognized a lot of people form middle school whom she hadn't seen in ages. One was a tall, lanky boy named Sanjo Kairi whose green hair always seemed to have the same style, no matter what age he was. He had always been a straight-A student and judging by the way he still dressed just as smartly as ever, he hadn't changed much.
"That stuff is gross," Utau commented from her seat on the couch beside Amu. The blond grabbed another drink and tossed it back, making a face as it raced down her throat.
Earlier, Amu had lost a game of rock, paper, scissors, and was the unfortunate one to be stuck with the drunk-in-the-making Utau while Ikuto and Kukai went off to find food. Rumour had it that there was a barbeque out in the backyard. Not that Amu would know, though, since she had yet to move from her seat.
Utau mumbled something under her breath as she handed Amu a cup.
"Drink it," Utau said in response to the pinkette's questioning look.
"I'd rather not," Amu replied distastefully.
"It's just beer. Come on, you can't go to a party and not have a single drink."
Normally Utau wouldn't be this pushy with anything. Blame it on the alcohol.
To get Utau off her back, Amu took a small sip of the bitter yet creamy drink. She made a face and turned to Utau, "Happy?"
"Completely," the blond replied before reaching for another one.
Beginning another scan about the room, Amu idly continued sipping at her drink. Her gaze halted at the sight of a familiar blond with ruby eyes. She didn't realize Tadase had been invited, too.
She was about to get up and go over to him, but he appeared to have had one too many drinks, for he soon began yelling at a goldfish that swam in a bowl on the table beside him. "Who're you looking at, commoner!" He exclaimed while pointing an accusing finger at the fish.
Amu and Utau turned towards each other and started sniggering behind their beer cups.
"Oh gosh, who let him near the alcohol?" Utau laughed while Amu tried not to choke on her drink as she finished it off in the midst of her giggling.
The pinkette reached for another full cup from the coffee table in front of her.
At this moment, Utau seemed to recall the information Amu had told her earlier that day. Her violet eyes widened as she turned to look at the girl beside her, who was already halfway through her second drink.
"Wait, so you, missy, like my brother!" she recalled, "Since when?"
Amu peered down at the empty glass in her hands and shrugged. For all she knew she could have been crushing on him for the past two years and all it took for her to realize her feelings was seeing him in a different light.
"I…don't know," she finally replied.
"Aaawwww," Utau cooed uncharacteristically before she smirked, "So what about my brother has got your insides flipping?"
Amu sent Utau a weird look. She acted so different when she was tipsy. Normally she wouldn't care too much about the little details. Amu rubbed her hands against her cup and frowned. It was nearly impossible to think with the music rattling her ear drums.
"I-I don't know… I just… I like how I'm completely comfortable around him and how he's respectful…not in an ass-kissing way but more subtly," Amu's eyes glazed over as she continued gushing about him, "And…okay…don't judge me 'cause I swear I'm not creepy, but I've noticed that whenever he makes a sandwich, he sings under his breath. But only with sandwiches - never when he makes something else! And I- I just…love that. It's really just the little things that got to me." Amu smiled to herself and sunk deeper into the couch.
Utau cooed again before suggesting they go outside where it would hopefully be a little quieter. Amu eagerly agreed and followed Utau's lead to the back. Although the backyard wasn't thumping with music, the two girls were now surrounded by loud teenage boys who were all huddled by the barbeque. Not to mention there was the occasional couple who insisted on eating each other's faces off in front of everyone.
Amu nearly gagged at the sight and followed Utau over to where Kukai was standing with his fellow soccer players. He grinned upon seeing her.
"My dear," he greeted before placing a kiss on his girlfriend's lips, "I hope you haven't been giving Amu too hard of a time." He sent Amu an apologetic glance.
Utau swiped a hotdog off Kukai's plate and shrugged, "Of course not. Have you seen Ikuto?"
Kukai was more than willing to go off and sulk as his girlfriend began to devour his food. The brunette glanced in the direction he had last seen Ikuto and pointed once spotting him. "Right over there, deary," he swiped the remaining hotdog out of Utau's hand and popped it in his mouth, "by the pool talking to Lulu."
Amu followed his gesture, feeling sick. Across the sea of scantily clad females and drooling men, she found the couple in question. Of course they had found each other. And of course Lulu had to be wearing a dress that was far more revealing than her skirt had been - yet Ikuto wasn't threatening her with a spacesuit.
"Look at that," Amu sighed drearily with her gaze still on the duo, "she can wear a dress like that and still not look like a slut, but look amazing."
Utau turned to look at who Amu was referring to. She scoffed once her eyes landed on Lulu. "She still looks like a ho to me. I bet Ikuto thinks so, too." The blond noticed Amu's doubtful look and added in, "She's probably talking about her latest trip to the liposuction office and he's just begging for someone to rescue him," she paused to send Amu a look, "So go forth! Just tell him that we got separated and you're looking for me. I'll be in the front yard."
Amu didn't have the time to turn down the idea, as Utau was already pushing her in Ikuto's direction. She took three steps before turning back to return to Utau, only to discover she had already vanished into the crowd. The pinkette growled through her teeth. She'd get her revenge later. For now she had to concentrate on the task at hand.
She slowly made her way through the crowd while keeping an eye on Ikuto and Lulu to make sure they didn't move. She was acting too possessive. She really had no reason to get worked up simply because they were talking. They had broken up for a reason and Ikuto was smart enough to make his own decisions when it came to who was good for him, right? Right.
Amu watched as Lulu laughed and dragged her hand down Ikuto's arm. SCREW THE PLAN TO BE CIVILIZED, THE BITCH WAS GOING DOWN. The pink-haired girl tried to even out her breathing as she finally reached the duo. It was now or never, whether she wanted to do this or not.
Ikuto was first to see her over Lulu's shoulder and interrupted the blond in mid-sentence. "Amu," was all he said as a greeting.
Really? That's all she got? Why not a big hug? She bet Lulu got a hug. Bitch.
Amu's language was even surprising herself. She never was one to swear, but she figured the alcohol was taking its toll on her.
"Hey, Ikuto, have you seen Utau anywhere?" Amu asked, trying to sound as concerned as possible, "We got separated and I'd rather not hang out near a couple who's basically swapping STDs in front of everyone."
Turning his attention to the crowd, Ikuto scanned for Utau while Lulu turned around to include Amu in their conversation.
"You're…Hinamori Amu, right?" The blond clarified. Her hair was perfectly curled and her deep azure eyes gave off the impression that nothing escaped her notice. Usually she might have been seen as intimidating, but Amu never felt inferior to her until now.
"Yes, ma'am," Amu responded, clearly bored with this conversation. Okay, so Lulu wasn't that bad of a person, but Amu was in a bad mood, so it didn't matter what kind of person Lulu was.
"I don't normally see you at parties," Lulu commented innocently enough, though Amu swore that on the inside she was declaring war.
"That's 'cause I don't normally come to these things," The pinkette responded simply before turning her gaze to Ikuto, who was watching the girls interact.
Lulu had noticed Amu's attention switch and resumed talking, a sneaky glint appearing in her eyes, "Hey, Amu, have you ever had a screaming orgasm? They're pretty good- you can get one inside."
Amu's eyes widened in horror as her cheeks turned crimson, "Wh-what?"
Lulu laughed and even Ikuto was trying not to smile.
"It's a drink," he explained while sharing a silent laugh with Lulu.
Amu instantly felt like an idiot as her cheeks continued to blaze. She was just making a fool out of herself by talking with them. But she reassured herself that Ikuto wouldn't purposely make fun of her, so perhaps they didn't realize that such a simple joke actually made her feel bad.
This made her want to hit herself for being so easily offended. She never would have guessed that she'd end up being an emotional drunk. However, she refused to believe she was drunk - only tipsy.
Lulu watched a group of teenagers jump into the pool and tuned back into the conversation. "That looks fun. We should join them!" She now glanced at Amu and asked if she wanted to.
Truth be told, she'd rather not, just to make sure some drunk person didn't throw up on her.
"It'll be fun," Lulu commented, "You could go in your shorts. You'd just have to get a bikini top…" She drifted off and Amu swore the blond's blue-eyed gaze lowered to Amu's chest.
"Well… on second thought, there's kind of nothing to cover up… so you wouldn't even really need a top."
Now Amu was not only pissed but kind of hurt, too. This blond actually had the audacity to insult her so bluntly? One of the things Amu was most self conscious about was her lack of chest. It didn't make it better when others were constantly pointing out how flat she was.
"It's like a board," Lulu said quietly to Ikuto, followed by a tinkle of laughter.
"Right," Amu responded through gritted teeth, "I'll go find that screaming orgasm now." She turned to walk away but stopped to look back at Lulu. Utau would never allow such a remark to go unanswered. And with the alcohol coursing through her veins, she almost felt invincible.
"Oh, and Lulu?" The pinkette called as she turned back around, "I don't think your dad appreciates you taking his belt to try to wear as a dress. Your vagina's kind of hanging out." She whirled around and began stalking away, feeling entirely pissed off. It may have been the drinks, but it seemed that even the slightest things were affecting her mood.
Her heart belted in her ears when she heard Ikuto call out her name before he grabbed onto her arm to get her to stop and turn around. She glared at him with all her might while waiting for him to speak his piece.
"Don't take it to heart, she didn't mean to insult you," He sighed once realizing Amu could hardly stand straight. "How much did you drink?"
Amu brushed off his question with a scowl and yanked her arm out of his grip, feeling a tad woozy while doing so. She let her emotional state take over. "'Don't take it to heart'? What's that supposed to mean? Everyone teases me about being flat, even Ami! Lulu stating it as a fact that wasn't supposed to be insulting doesn't make it any better!" She was breathing deeply now and with her heart pumping loudly, she felt the need to continue her rant. "How could you date a girl like that? She's completely foul and it's like she's got you completely wrapped around her finger still!"
"Amu, you're taking this too far," Ikuto sighed as he raked a hand through his navy locks. He looked completely worn out and sleep-deprived. And yet sober. Ikuto never had been one to drink or get involved in the party scene.
"She made a small comment that was kind of true, big deal."
Amu went silent. It felt like someone had stabbed her in the back. So maybe the alcohol really was affecting her more than she thought, but even if she was completely sober, that remark still would've hurt.
She stared up at him with wide eyes that were brimming with tears.
Ikuto's gaze instantly softened as a shadow of regret crossed his features, "Amu-"
"So you're siding with her? It's 'kind of true' that I'm lacking a feminine physique? Thank you for pointing that out because I hadn't noticed! It's not like it crosses my mind every single day when I get dressed!" she spat venomously before turning to leave again. All she wanted now was to go to the front yard to find Utau so she could go home. She hated parties.
Ikuto called out her name again and touched her shoulder to stop her from walking away.
She was more than willing to push him away and continue walking. As much as she wanted to hate him, the sober part of her pointed out that she was making a big deal out of a small comment of agreement he made. She knew that Ikuto told the truth whether it was inappropriate timing or not. He was just telling the truth- and she admitted, her chest was small. Big deal. So why was she mad at him? All she was accomplishing was making a bigger fool of herself with every passing moment she spent in a drunken fury.
Amu stopped walking and breathed deep, calming breaths as she let her eyes close, pushing tears down her cheeks while Ikuto moved so he was standing in front of her. His hands were still firmly planted on her shoulders.
"What…what's gotten into you lately?" He asked gently. His thumbs started tracing circles on her upper arms as his dark eyes scanned her face for answers.
She didn't dare open her eyes or speak, so she settled with a shake of the head. She didn't know what was happening to her. All she knew for sure was that she wasn't going to touch alcohol again anytime soon.
"Amu…" Ikuto moved his hands up to her face to wipe away the tears that were still falling.
His deep voice seemed to resonate through her body and shudder her bones. Amu's eyes fluttered open at this. And in that drunken moment, with her eyes fixed on his, she wanted to kiss him. Well, Amu reasoned that she didn't have to be drunk in order to feel this. But in order to act on it she had to be pretty out of it.
Which she was. So with the booming music and obnoxious voices blurring into the distance, she went against her screaming conscience and kissed him. Right on those warm lips of his, standing on her tiptoes and everything. She'd hate herself later. For now she'd enjoy kissing the boy of her dreams and enjoy the feeling of him actually kissing her back.
He was kissing her back! Ikuto was actually kissing her- wait a minute, she was kissing Ikuto?
Amu quickly got to her senses and pushed him away, watching with wide, glistening eyes as he stumbled back and fell into the pool behind him. Only Amu would be capable of shoving someone into a pool one second after kissing them.
"Oh no, no, no, no!" The pinkette scrambled about in wonder of what to do in this situation. Her heart hammered against her chest and in her hysteria, she bolted, fleeing from the scene as fast as her short legs could take her.
The tears started all over again as she made it to the front lawn, spotting Utau and Kukai sitting at the swing set.
"U-Utau…" She managed to croak out.
Utau and Kukai both looked up. He cringed and looked uncomfortable at the sight of her tears while Utau's eyes widened.
"What'd she do to you!" She snarled while standing up in a fury.
"N-n-n-no, it w-wasn't Lulu." Amu murmured through her tears. She absolutely hated being an emotional drunk. She'd rather be anything else - slutty, abusive…okay no, she'd rather be emotional, but this was just ridiculous.
Utau's eyes softened at first, but once realizing that it was her brother's doing, her gaze turned stone cold as she scanned her surroundings. "That boy better run and hide if he wants to make it through the night alive."
"N-no it wasn't really his doing either," Amu said quickly, "I just…I can't believe I actually pushed him into the pool!"
Utau and Kukai stared with wide eyes once learning this new information. It took a moment for it to sink in, but when it did, Kukai was the first to react. He laughed loudly with no sensitivity to how Amu was feeling right now. She felt like a total dirt bag. Or worse…a bitch. Something she had been calling Lulu this entire time, when really, perhaps she was the one who deserved the name.
"This isn't who I am, Utau!" Amu cried, "I never should have had anything to drink because I can't control my emotions and it's all just-" She settled with explaining her feelings by exhaling loudly. She needed sleep. Then she'd be a lot more stable.
"Can I stay at your place tonight?"
Utau didn't even have to answer before she and Kukai lead the way to his car.
The blond slid into the backseat to resume comforting Amu while Kukai grabbed the driver's seat. Once they were all buckled in, Kukai finally said what was on his mind.
"So um… did I miss something?"