CHAPTER FOURTEEN
My mind was racing, I could see images coming in and out of focus in front of me, flashes not there long enough to see, much less understand. The constant fear was never far off, but now it wasn't quite so intense, I could still feel it, but it was no longer a suffocating weight on top of me, it was more like an animal stalking me, watching me, keeping me in its sights, but never attacking.
There was a part of me, even if I wasn't experiencing what was going on, that was aware of it. I could tell someone was sitting next to me, sometimes I would feel them rest their hands on me, and I would begin to feel warmth at their touch, other times I could tell they were sleeping by their faint snore. I could tell when Carlisle would come in, he was so careful when he touched me, trying not to lay his cold hands directly on my body. I was thankful, not only was I cold, I couldn't take any more pain.
I could tell when the son, Edward, would come in, standing off to the side, opposite of who was sitting next to me. I could almost feel him trying to see my thoughts, I would push him out, pull away from him, but I eventually got tired of fighting. I gave up. If he wanted to know what was going on in my head, I would let him in. I know he didn't like what he found, but maybe he could make better sense of it than I could. I was just too tired to fight anymore. I was ready to surrender. Somehow I wasn't as scared, something in that room was making me feel, well not safe, but not fearful, not as much.
I tried to listen to the voices in the house, I could hear a childlike laugh, but I knew better, vampires didn't have children, did they? If that where I had come from?
I was aware of Alice and another coming in, being put in a tub and feeling the divine sense of peace, the hot water washing over me, the fruited smell of cleanliness, and the soft, loving touch, not of Alice, but the other one.
Somewhere in my mind was the name Jasper; I could hear the whispers, that he could help. I wasn't sure why but I knew I would need him, that he had the answers to some of my questions.
I wanted to sleep, but I wanted to wake. Everyday I tried to fight through the haze, trying to remember more, to stay 'awake' longer, and to remember more.