A/N: I'm sure the apologies for not updating sooner are getting old. Suffice it to say, my job is keeping me really busy! I've also had a tough time with this chapter and the next. I never could quite get them right, so my apologies if they're a little slow and stiff. The story is going to pick up about two chapters from now, so stick with it! I have a lot written in advance, so it REALLY shouldn't take so long next time! I think I'm over the worst of the writer's block. I wish I could take the time to thank everyone personally for reviewing, but if I did that, I'd never get ANY writing done. But don't think it means I appreciate it any less. You are all amazing and thank you so much for reading my story! I hope you enjoy!
On Monday morning, Blair tried to feign terrible illness. First she cited morning sickness, but Dorota was having none of that. She knew that Blair's nausea ended at the end of the first trimester, so obviously that wasn't going to be an option. She halfheartedly rooted through her closet, then started to cough and then decided perhaps she was getting a cold. Dorota just gave her a look, and Blair knew she wasn't getting off that easy.
There was really no point in hiding her ever-expanding stomach now, but something about showing up at Constance looking the part of the poor knocked-up princess seemed like too much to bear. She picked out one of her few skirts that still seemed to fit okay and slid it on, grimacing at the reflection in the mirror. The skirt still buttoned, but it also did little to conceal the bump. She grabbed a loose ruffled blouse and nearly cried as she struggled to button it, but a red scarf would cover her chest as well as distract people from the baby bump. At Dorota's insistence, she perfected her hair and makeup and reluctantly ate a muffin and fruit before heading out the door.
"Waldorf," a familiar voice greeted as soon as she stepped aside. She looked up sharply and discovered Chuck waiting for her, leaning against the side of his limo and looking decidedly calm about everything. "Looking ravishing, as usual."
"Don't start with me. Not today."
"I'm not starting anything," he assured her innocently and opened the door to the limo. "We'll arrive together. Put up a united front today."
"A united front," she repeated incredulously. "You're going to be too busy getting high fives for nailing your best friend's girlfriend to put up a united front."
"I'm trying here, Blair. I don't know what else to do. Now will you please get in?"
She huffed in irritation and climbed into the limo, hating him just a little for showing up here and keeping her from taking a little detour on her way to school. As usual, however, her irritation quickly began to evaporate, replaced by a wash of sadness and fear. The ever-changing moods and the frequent urge to cry was just another symptom of this horribly timed pregnancy, and she clenched her eyes shut to try to hide the tears from him.
But Chuck never missed a beat. Not when it came to her. Nate could be – and had been – oblivious to everything, from the way she disappeared into the bathroom right after meals to the way she pinched herself between her thumb and pointer finger to keep from crying.
"You're crying," he observed.
"No, I'm not."
"Blair."
"It doesn't matter. Will you leave me alone?" she snapped harshly.
He sighed in irritation, but his silence lasted only a moment. "If you can't go to school without having a meltdown, we'll skip," he proposed. "If they're going to bother you too much…"
"What's the point, Chuck?" she asked miserably. "I have to face them sometime!"
"You could get tutors for the rest of the year."
"And let them win? No, that's not an option," she shook her head. "I just have to get through this. I will not meltdown," she insisted, more to convince herself than him. "If they see me falter, they win."
"That's the spirit," he grinned at her. She just rolled her eyes and looked out the window again, but when she felt his hand pick up hers and squeeze, she couldn't help smiling just a little.
Five minutes later, they pulled up to school and dropped hands. Chuck got out first, but he waited for her so they could walk in together. She instantly noticed the sudden silence as they approached school, and tears once more burned her eyes even as she tried to keep her head held high. Everyone leaned in and began to whisper, and she could just imagine all the horrible things they were saying about her. When she spotted her minions, they all gave her looks of absolute disgust. Penelope looked particularly satisfied, shooting her a devilish glare. "Pregnant little hypocrite," she bit out.
Blair wanted to just keep walking and ignore the awful words, but Chuck instantly stopped and turned to Penelope. "Penelope, how nice to see you," he began with obviously feigned levity. "How is that boyfriend of yours doing?"
Penelope just looked a little surprised, and she and Hazel shared confused glances. "What are you talking about?"
"What is his name again? It just slipped my mind for a moment. Oh, but you know, I have your dad on speed dial. We could just call and ask him," Chuck continued. Blair had no idea where he was going with this, but Penelope suddenly blanched. "He does work with your father, right?" Chuck reached for his phone and flipped it open, beginning to scroll through his numbers.
"That won't be necessary," Penelope attempted to stop him. "You've made your point."
"Have I? Let's make it a little more clear. Make another comment about my girlfriend…to anyone…and your dad gets the photographic evidence of your little association."
"We're clear."
"Nice talking to you."
With that, Chuck lightly took her arm and steered her away from the group of mean girls. She didn't know whether she should be flattered and grateful that he was so determined to make this easier for her or if she should just be offended and irritated that he felt the need to intercede on her behalf. And then there was that little word he just tossed out so carelessly…girlfriend. Since when? "Going to fight all my battles for me, Bass?" she accused after a moment.
"If you want to do this alone, feel free," he bit back, abruptly dropping her arm and picking up his pace a little. She bit her lip, feeling just slightly guilty for attacking him when, really, he was being far more supportive than she ever suspected Chuck Bass could be.
She quickened her steps to catch up with him again, not entirely sure she wanted to walk into the building alone. "You called me your girlfriend."
"Don't worry. You don't have to give me a pin," he responded sarcastically. "Just thought it might help the situation. Want to yell at me about that, too?"
"Chuck…" she began.
"School is about to start. You going to be okay, Waldorf?"
"No," she laughed humourlessly. "Guess I don't have a choice, though."
"Text if you need anything," he offered. "You're better than them, Blair."
She forced herself to smile, and then, on impulse, she leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Have lunch with me?"
"I'll meet you here. Good luck."
With that, they were forced to separate. Blair took a deep breath and headed to her side of the building, ignoring the blatant stares and forging ahead towards her locker. Unsurprisingly, a familiar blonde was waiting for her, looking disheveled and a little worse for wear. Her hair was more unkempt than usual, her eyes dark as though she hadn't slept, and her usual sunny smile noticeably absent. Any other time, Blair might be concerned and rush to her former best friend's aid. But Serena was the one who threw her under the bus, and it was an unforgiveable offense. "What do you want?" she asked sharply, refusing to make eye contact as she pulled out her book for her first class.
"To talk. B, I am so-"
"Serena, I understand that the massive quantities of drugs and alcohol you have recently consumed have most likely killed whatever brain cells were left, but I have no desire to speak to you. How can I make that more clear to you? Please tell me so I can move on with my life without having you here to ruin it for me."
"Please," Serena whimpered. "Don't be like this."
"You don't get to ask for favours anymore."
"Dan broke up with me," she blurted.
"Well then, he's smarter than I thought. If I wasn't afraid of contracting rabies, I'd go congratulate him."
"Everything is such a mess," the blonde continued as tears started to leak from huge blue eyes. "I just need my best friend. Please, B. I know what I did was unforgiveable, but-"
"It was unforgiveable. I can never trust you again. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go face a room full of people who will mock and ridicule me." She slammed her locker shut for emphasis and stalked away, disappointed to find that the usual rush of victory was fleeting and entirely unsatisfying even though she clearly bettered Serena. It was hard to feel too much pride when everyone was looking at her like she contracted some kind of highly contagious disease.
The next four hours were mostly awful, sprinkled with a few random moments of truly unbearable. Apparently Chuck's threats hadn't fully been carried throughout the school yet, so a few brave girls still dared to openly taunt her. It was all too easy to give into tears with the raging pregnancy hormones at the moment, but she forced herself to show no signs of weakness and deflected all their comments with her own well-placed barbs. In third period, she had the misfortune of sharing class with Serena, and since they had assigned seating, she was forced to sit down next to her.
"Hey B," one of the wannabe mean girls smiled wickedly as she took her seat in front of Blair. Blair had been particularly harsh when excluding her from the inner circle, so she knew the fallout would not be pleasant. "It's too bad Marc Jacobs doesn't do a maternity line. That skirt doesn't look like it can take much more."
Before Blair could respond, Serena sat down in her seat and glared at the girl. "I just love your sweater, Ainsley," she gushed. "Where did you get it? The Gap? It would be perfect for my mother's clothing drive."
Ainsley got the hint and turned around, thoroughly rebuked. "Do you really think that's all it's going to take?" Blair hissed as she opened her textbook. "You're a real hero, Serena."
"I'm not trying to-"
"Let's just remember whose fault it is the whole school knows. And don't think that just because you're safe for the moment that you're going to remain that way. Chuck and I are focusing on Georgina right now, but you're next."
The teacher took her place at the front of the room and began to lecture, and Blair chalked up another point for herself. Blair – 2, Serena – 0. It was the small comforts in life that were going to get her through the remainder of this terrible school year. She tried in vain to focus on the literature lesson, carefully taking notes in perfect handwriting, but when she felt her cell phone buzz, she was more than ready for the distraction.
Doing okay? the text from Chuck read.
Something in her stomach flipped over, and she frowned a little at the odd reaction. It's just the baby, she tried to tell herself as she responded. Fine. U?
She expected a perfunctory answer and turned back to her note-taking. He took longer than expected to text back, and when he did, she nearly choked. Thinking about that night. U came twice.
Her cheeks flushed bright red and she coughed just a little, then covered her mouth and tried to pretend it was nothing as she scribbled a little harder on the paper. Leave it to Chuck to start taunting her with their sex life on the first day at school since the news broke. And how the hell did he know just how deprived she was right now? The first twelve weeks she didn't even want to think about him touching her, but since the morning sickness faded and the second trimester began, the desire was overwhelming. She'd been able to keep it in check, but she'd never be able to control herself with him reminding her just how perfect he was in bed and how he knew exactly what to do to drive her wild. I forget, she texted back, hoping that would put him in his place.
But she should have known better. Chuck was not to be deterred. I'll remind you. Lunch. Limo. Ur fav.
The heat rose to her cheeks once more as she recalled her first time. Any thoughts of focusing on British literature vanished, and she decided she needed to focus on not going crazy for the next hour. Her phone didn't buzz again after that, but Chuck probably knew exactly how much she was squirming right now and enjoying every second of his torture. They hadn't shared so much as a kiss since they found out she was pregnant, but in about an hour, she planned to change that.
By lunch, she was desperately craving a pizza and an escape. It could have been worse, she supposed, but the way everyone was looking at her, she felt like an outsider for the first time in her life. She'd always been on the top, and now suddenly everyone was looking down on her, on her dirty little secret, on the scandal she could never keep contained. The girls hadn't formally announced her dethroning, but it was obvious none of them intended to speak to her again, much less follow her commands or allow her to lead the group. Maybe she should be putting up a fight and trying to remind them who she was, baby or no baby, but at the moment, she wasn't sure she would be able to handle the humiliation of defeat.
The limo sat obtrusively right outside the school, so Blair opened the door and slipped in to wait for Chuck. To her surprise, he was already there waiting for her. "Good afternoon, Beautiful," he grinned. "I take it you're surviving? Anyone else I need to threaten? I took the liberty of having my PI look into some of the most likely offenders."
"Serena tried to come to my rescue from Ainsley Cunningham," she rolled her eyes.
"I'm not sure which half of that sentence bothers me more," he darkened a little. "Ainsley Cunningham? Her knockoffs aren't even in season."
"I don't want to talk about Ainsley. Or Serena."
"Do you want to talk about lunch? I need to tell Arthur where to take us."
"Pizza," she demanded, suddenly feeling an overwhelming urge for a hot, greasy piece of pizza with sinful amounts of cheese and practically dripping with sauce. She couldn't even remember the last time she ate a pizza, the fat alone enough to keep her away since she first found out about things like calories and carbs, but the further along she got, the more she started feeling these weird cravings for foods she hadn't eaten since elementary school.
"Blair Waldorf eats pizza?" he couldn't hide his shock.
"Apparently your child does," she snapped.
He just smirked back at her and leaned forward to tell Arthur where they were going. When he sat back, Blair found herself oddly disappointed that he was seated so far away from her and making no attempts to get closer. Other than a few lewd comments and the occasional sweet gesture like holding her hand when she was upset, Chuck had done very little to indicate he was still interested in her. His remarks about her chest were expected and nothing out of the ordinary…nothing that suggested he wanted to date her. His text at least convinced her he still wanted her, but now he wasn't making a move even in the back of the limo where he first took her virginity.
A wave of horror washed over her as she realised maybe he didn't want her at all. Maybe he really was just trying to help her out when he called her his girlfriend this morning. And maybe the dirty text and the commentary on her appearance were just Chuck being Chuck, not Chuck expressing his interest in her and her alone. And really, what was she expecting? He already acted against character by being sweet and supportive through all of this, by stepping up and taking responsibility for her and the baby. Could she really expect him to commit to anything else? Could she really expect him to even what anything else? Chuck was not a one-woman man. He never had been, and he probably never would be. He wasn't even trying to touch her now, when he had the perfect opportunity away from prying eyes. But Chuck had always had his pick of women, from supermodels to shy virgins; why would he want her when her skirt could barely button and maternity clothes were in her very near future.
"You feeling okay, Waldorf?" he asked, apparently noticing the strained silence.
"Fine," she snapped a little too harshly.
"You sound it."
She said nothing, not trusting herself to speak without blurting out everything she was thinking and making even more of a mess.
"Blair?" he pressed.
When he looked at her with those eyes, there was little she could do to resist him. "Did you mean what you said?"
"What are you talking about?" he asked in confusion.
"You called me your girlfriend. Did you mean that?" she asked a little more forcefully.
"Everyone knows we're having a baby," he shrugged. "We might as well let them believe we're together."
"Oh," she managed, her heart dropping a little. "But you don't…want to be together?"
"That's not what I said," he answered carefully and turned to face her once more. "I think I've made it clear that I'm committed to this."
"Yes, to being a father. What about to me?" she inquired. "Do you even want anything to do with me, or are you just revolted by me now?"
"Revolted?" he asked incredulously.
"I'm getting fat! Even Ainsley could tell my clothes barely fit me!"
Without notice or chance to prepare herself, Chuck scooted over and took her in his arms, pressing his lips to hers and pulling her against him. She instantly yielded to his touch, her body curling to his just as it had done months ago in this exact same limo in this exact same seat. She moaned a little into his mouth, just now realising how much she missed being touched like this. His hands deftly cradled her, sliding up her ribcage and gently cupping her breast. Making out with Chuck was such a sensory overload, from the way his tongue played with hers to the way his fingers always knew exactly where to linger. When they parted for air, more of a formality than anything, his eyes were dark with lust and she wanted him far more than any pizza. "You look incredible, Blair," he murmured breathily.
"Then why don't you want to be with me?" she asked, hating herself for sounding so weak and needy.
"I called you my girlfriend for a reason. I thought you knew by now what I wanted."
"That's not how it works, Chuck!" she protested.
"How what works?"
"You're such an idiot," she shook her head.
"Explain it to me then, Waldorf. I'm a little new at this," he reminded her wryly.
"You don't just go around and tell people I'm your girlfriend without even asking me first!"
"I apologise," he responded, his voice dripping with insincerity as he reached over to take her hand. He raised it to his lips and brushed a kiss over her knuckles. "Blair, will you be my girlfriend?"
"Now you're just mocking me," she ripped her hand away from him.
"No, I'm asking you if you want to be my girlfriend. You do or you don't. It's not difficult."
"That isn't how you ask!" she cried in frustration. "God, Chuck, don't you know anything? You're supposed to ask me out first, take me somewhere nice, and then ask me if I want to be your girlfriend."
"I already knocked you up," he smirked. "I think we're past the formalities."
"Just because I'm already pregnant doesn't mean you get to fast forward into the relationship before you even take me on a first date. What, you think because I'm already ruined I'm no longer worth making the effort?"
"Blair," he groaned. "Don't put words in my mouth."
"Then don't treat me like one of your sluts," she snapped. "I'm carrying your kid at the expense of my social life, my body, and my future. You won't make me a fool on top of it. If you want to be my boyfriend, I insist on a real date, Chuck."
"Do you really think I'm treating you like I've treated anyone else?" he asked incredulously. "I've never slept with the same person twice. I've never laid in bed with a girl to watch movies. I've never even held hands."
"Be that as it may, it doesn't count. Dinner, Bass," she clarified. "You have to take me out somewhere. In public. Someplace expensive. I can't believe I even have to explain this to you."
"Calm down, Waldorf. I never said we wouldn't have a first date. If that's what you want, we'll do it," he assured her.
"Yes, now that I've forced you I'm sure it will be incredibly romantic. You really know how to make a girl feel special, Chuck. Shall I pay as well? Would you like me to plan the evening? Send a car to get you? You know, why don't we just skip the date and go right to the sex. That should just make it even more wonderful for me."
"Are you done?" he asked in amusement.
"That depends. Are you done humiliating me?"
"Blair," he sighed. "We did go a little backwards. You'll have to forgive me for not knowing exactly what I'm supposed to do."
"You may have a point," she conceded. "But that doesn't excuse you from going through the steps of being in a relationship."
"Oh, I think you've made that abundantly clear, Princess," he answered wryly.
"Friday night, then?"
"If you want me to plan the evening, you don't get to pick the day," he shook his head. "I'll let you know when we're having our first date and the proper attire."
"It's just dinner."
"I don't do just dinner, Waldorf," he advised her. "Prepare to be swept off your feet."
"I'll believe that when I see it," she shot back.
"You have no idea what you're in for," he smirked, apparently very pleased with himself.
"Oh, and speaking of, how is your PI doing with the information on Georgina?"
"Nothing says romance like plotting utter annhiliation."
"Maybe you're smarter than I thought you were."
Chuck returned Blair to school after lunch, still watching in concern as she struggled to hold her head high as mocking stares followed her inside. She was handling it better than anyone could have hoped, but he knew that beneath the perfectly constructed façade was a miserable, terrified girl. Few people knew it, but he was one of a small circle who had been privy to the innermost tortures of Blair Waldorf. When Serena disappeared and Nate, for all intents and purposes, went off the radar, he'd been particularly present for the breakdowns. Her father left, her best friend left, her boyfriend was off on another planet completely, and it had been his job to hold the pieces of her together. So he knew that she was not nearly as okay as she appeared, but he didn't know what to do about it. He couldn't fix it, and he could threaten everyone in the school, but it wasn't going to give her back the life she knew before this baby came along.
Focusing on Blair allowed him to force his own tortured thoughts aside. For a few weeks now he'd barely had to think about his own feelings on the matter. Every time he did recall the reality of his life, the future fast approaching, he nearly broke out into a cold sweat. Chuck Bass didn't do girlfriends and babies and nurturing, but he'd been catapulted into this life where his pseudo-girlfriend was pregnant and he didn't want to lose her or force her to endure it alone, but he was downright terrified about what was soon going to happen. When he couldn't sleep at night he would look a few things up, try to understand babies and pregnancy and all the things a father-to-be was supposed to do, but it made it all-too-real for him. Reading about how his baby was growing was surreal, and as amazed as he was by that little bump she sometimes let him touch, he wasn't sure when – if ever – he'd get to the point that he wanted to meet the little person soon to become his. He knew he didn't want to kill it, and he knew he wanted it to know a dad, but that was the extent of it. He cared, and for now, he figured that was enough. What more could anyone expect of him anyway? For now, he would focus on Blair. Maybe the baby part would come later. Maybe when it got a little closer he'd be able to process what was about to happen to him.
They both survived Monday, and by Tuesday, they had a plan in place to get rid of Georgina for good. On Wednesday, Lily called and requested his presence at dinner, so he reluctantly cleaned himself up and headed to the penthouse. "Chuck," his future stepsister greeted as soon as he crossed the threshold.
"I have less to say to you than she does," he warned her. "At least Blair cares enough to insult you."
"I know what I did to her. To you. But I'm paying for it, Chuck!"
"You think because your Brooklyn trash dumped you it makes us even? While I wouldn't go advertising that not even Humphrey wants you now, I think you'll move on just fine. Maybe you can find someone else's boyfriend to sleep with….speed the process along."
"Charles? Is that you?" Lily called, interrupting their little spat. She stepped into the foyer to greet him, then stopped, startled by the sight of Serena's tears. "Serena?" she asked in concern. "What's going on?"
"Nothing, Mom," she was quick to answer. Lily didn't look convinced, but Serena insisted once more, then stormed away, leaving them both standing there in the entryway.
"Charles," Lily sighed, stepping forward to lightly embrace him. "You didn't bring Blair with you tonight?"
"I thought it would be best for her not to come tonight," he answered diplomatically, then realised that he could at least stick it to Serena a little tonight by getting Lily involved. "She and Serena are on the outs again."
"Those girls," she laughed in bemusement. "They've been doing this since kindergarten."
"I'm afraid this time it may be a little more serious than their other…disagreements."
"Oh?" Lily raised an eyebrow in concern.
"It's not really my place," he feigned innocence. "I don't want to get between them. Now that Serena and I are going to be family…" he added for a little extra impact.
"You're worrying me, Charles. What happened between Serena and Blair? I seriously doubt my daughter is going to tell me."
He pretended to wrestle with it for a long moment before opening his mouth again. "I think you should ask Serena how the school found out that Blair was pregnant."