There's some key news at the end. If you like this then you really need to read my note C:
{-.-}
We travel down in silence as that singular word rings round my brain. Rebellion. What does this mean? The people are rebelling? Is every District rebelling? I panic because this means a possible return to the Dark Days and the chaos that surrounded it originally. I've had a part to play in this mess and I can bet that I'll be punished for it.
If I've had a part in this then the repercussions will hit me more than Cato because of what I did. He helped, but it was my idea to position them like that and I was the one who carried it out. I feel sick to my stomach as me and Johanna stand side by side with nothing going on around us other than the slight whirring of mechanics which take us to the ground floor. I take a sideways glance in her direction and her dark eyes meet with mine with somewhat of a glare.
We're almost to the destination; the same stage that we tributes were interviewed at originally. I'll have to go back on to that stage and watch the highlights of death and they'll remind me of everything that I want to forget. Tomorrow scares me more because that's when we'll be interviewed in greater depth and detail and I can guarantee that it still won't be comfortable. We'll be sat there and interrogated for the whole of Panem to see and if I mess up this could mean terrible consequences.
Whatever they do I hope that it won't happen to my family. I think of them as an afterthought for some reason. It's almost as if I've forgotten them in the confusion and destruction that the Games have caused me to have.
"Just do as I said and you'll be fine," Johanna says rather simply before we reach the bottom and the doors open.
We walk the same way I did with Aleticia all that time ago on the way to the interviews. It's still as quiet here as it was earlier and to be perfectly honest, I feel physically sick. My hand goes to my stomach to try and keep myself from doing such actions but it's hard. I'm basically trying to keep myself in one piece for the grand finale of this gameshow. I don't know how long I can fake this.
We finally reach the backstage area, going through the corridor which twenty four tributes once stood. A few crew members are running round and I'm given a microphone pack and they hook it under my dress. I'm uncomfortable and Johanna sees this, giving them the evil eye until the crew member leaves. I didn't know that we would have to have mike too. We didn't have to have one at the interviews, so I'm wondering why we have to have one now.
There really is no room for errors. Any kind of comment can be picked up with this attached to me.
"Just smile for the cameras, remember my advice and try not to get angry," She gives me a part sarcastic smile and just leaves me there to go and take her place in the audience.
Angry? Why would I be angry? In my confusion I'm just stood there like an absolute idiot just wondering as to what the hell I do next. Another crew member then gestures me over to the wings where I can see easily on to the stage. It's dark, nothing's begun yet and Caesar still hasn't taken centre stage and control of the audience. I can see three individual chairs on stage, those same white ones that were used in the interview stage.
I can see the screen where we'll watch the highlights on from the stage. It's directly in front of the chairs but hidden in the same place where the camera crews are ready to film. In a second, the lights come on and music blares loudly. The crazy Captiol audience in all their colourful glory start cheering and clapping as Caesar walks on to the stage from the very back of the wings. He waves, smiles and looks so jovial as if this is a time for celebrating. Is it really though?
It's an act, it has to be. No one can be this cheery about these things. But then again the people of the Capitol always are, but then again they've never known anything less. The Games are a time of celebration here and it's strange to think that back home the Games are so vehemently scorned.
As he walks to the chairs and the front of the stage I see Cato for the first time. He's stood opposite me also in the wings and I can't see any scars on his face from the mutts. Both of his fists are clenched and the expression is very angry to say the least. He's wearing another suit, a black one with a white shirt which the very top button is undone. Awkwardly, he looks at me with that somewhat angry snarl in his eye.
I'm really worried now. Actually no, I'm terrified of what's about to happen. Something must have really mad him angry because there's no way that this is just due to having an interview.
A crew member suddenly comes up to me and tells me the plan. Caesar will introduce our prep teams who are sat in the audience before he announces Cato first. He'll go on stage and sit closest to him before there will be pleasantries, then I'll go on and the same will happen to me before sit back and enjoy the show.
I nod as the crew member leaves me to it, and the first part of the interview stage begins. My palms are sweaty as Caesar gestures to the crowd and our prep teams taking up a whole row. Johanna, I note is next to Enobaria and her gold pointed teeth which catch the brightness of the spotlight that's been placed upon them. Petal looks thrilled with the attention, and Julius and Aleticia I can tell are attempting to be calm about things. Julius looks like he's about to cry.
"And now, please welcome to the stage your District 2 victor Cato Forsyth!" Caesar booms before he walks back to his seat.
It's funny to me because as soon as Cato walks onstage the whole air of his anger and annoyance just disappears into the one of confidence that we saw at the pre-Games interview. He smiles, waves at the roaring crowd before he shakes Caesar's hand firmly. Caesar raises it to the crowd just like he did with all of us at the interviews, however the reaction is so much more rapturous because he's a victor now. They absolutely adore him. District 2 was always the favourites I suppose, and this only cements this belief in my mind.
Caesar releases the grip on his hand before he gestures for him to sit down at the chair closest. He sits leaning forward, all casual through all of the overwhelming attention. There is still some cheering from the crowd and Caesar's face is pulled into a beaming smile as he too sits down. "What a reception for you Cato!"
His back is turned away from me I can't tell what is actually going on. I assume that he must be smiling though because that's the act that he's trying to put on. "Well I obviously did something right," He responds in a slightly jokey tone.
The audience laugh kind of manically. My mouth is completely and utterly dry as the seconds go by so slowly. I just want this to end, I really do but I know that we'll be sat here for three hours watching the 'highlights'.
"What an amazing few weeks it's been for you in the arena!"
"You could put it like that," The audience laugh again, is he playing up to them? The charmer he's being means that he's attempting to get the people to like him and to be loved by them. But then again, the vicious killer everyone caught a glimpse of in the interview stage isn't exactly needed now the Games are over.
"We're all dying to see both of our two winners, aren't we ladies and gentlemen?" The crowd roar their approval. "We need our second victor from the 74th Annual Hunger Games, do we not?" More roaring. I feel oh so sick and just so helpless. Caesar stands up and gestures with his left hand towards where I am hidden in the wings. "Please welcome to the stage our second victor from District 7; Willow Roth!"
I walk on and my whole body shakes as the droning sound of people cheering disturbs me. I look to the crowd and pull my best smile but it's hard to keep up this facade like I'm happy about this. I wonder how Caesar does it every time he interviews someone as he consistently does it perfectly. He's been in the job for forty years for a reason, I suppose. He's serious when need be as well, which suddenly gives me the thought that he's a good actor. I look at both men, and as I go up to them Cato also stands up.
Perhaps it's a sign of respect, I'm not sure. It's slightly tense for a few seconds as Caesar is obviously letting him greet me first. We stare down at each other, I'm wary of him and he holds out his hand to me as if he's about to shake it. I give it to him with somewhat of a soft smile on my face. Then I realise that I've been tricked because he pulls it to his face and kisses my knuckles. He's smirking, whether it's because he hates me or because he sees me as his prey it doesn't really matter because he's stuck his foot in it.
The crowd appreciate this and I try not to let the look of pure horror come across my face. What has he done? All I can hear are collective 'ohh's from them for a few seconds. It reminds me of when we parted in the arena but his lips are soft this time. I can't shake the feeling that all of this is for a reason. It has to be linked to what Johanna said.
I look to Caesar as Cato lets go of my hand, as I try to not let it unsettle me. He too takes it but lifts it up to the crowd who cheer just like how they did with Cato which unsettles me a little. The smile on my face is slightly pained; I know it is. I try and show my teeth and I think this makes me look happier and grateful. He then lets go and I sit down furthest from him, attempting to not look at Cato.
"Well wasn't that an entrance?" He states flamboyantly to the crowd who are eager to lap it up. He sits down and crosses his leg over the other and that ever perfect gigantic smile still going strong. I'm still dazed by what has just happened and so everything is flying about in my mind. "Willow dear, how are you?"
I narrow in on his words. He doesn't think that I'm unstable does he? Do the people honestly think that I'm about to burst into tears at some point? "I'm great thank you," I lie. Then I'm reminded of the honesty that Johanna told me to use in the interview stage, how it makes you more likeable. "A little dazed but great thank you."
So what did Johanna want me to play up to when she said 'whatever is implied'? If it's linked to Cato's actions just now then I'm still unsure as to what is really going on. I'm still thinking about this when Caesar speaks yet again. "Well that's great to hear. Now then, before our victors are crowned, we have some highlights of this year's Games to watch. I tell you what ladies and gentlemen; this is a year that will never be forgotten!"
There must be screens somewhere to show the audience, perhaps above the stage and to either side. The small screen in front of the stage for us starts to show the Games right at the very beginning with the tributes rising from the ground. In the bottom right corner it flickers to mine and Cato's reactions to as to what is going on. It shows all of us on the pedestals ready to make a run for the Cornucopia for a few seconds, the aerial shot making everything look so tiny. It shows me and Cato looking at each other and our silent exchange, then another between Katniss and Peeta. She looks confused and by the time we're running to the Cornucopia she's a little behind as she's been so distracted.
It doesn't quite seem real that she's dead. I clench my fists together tightly and my nails dig into my skin. It takes away the pain of reliving these memories a bit, it makes me feel a little better about things and for that I'm relieved. The bloodbath is showed in full; Cato's lack of compassion when he brutally murders several tributes, Katniss' slight struggle with Clove and my struggle with Glimmer although only the part where I kill her and stand over her body with a possessed look in my eye.
I was seething. I don't ever think I've been that angry.
But then it shows on the split screen my reaction to Oak's brutal death and his body on the spear. Bile rises in my throat and I feel as if I'm about to be sick. When it cuts away to Cato and Marvel's slight argument over who will kill me I feel better because it ends up avoiding any more bodies as of yet. We see Katniss leave the Cornucopia with a knife thrown by Clove in her bag, and once in the woods she collides with the sly girl from 5 before they both run off in two separate directions.
The chase between me and Cato is in full too, as is our conversation in the end. When I run off however, he stands there looking in my general direction for a little while before he heads back to the Cornucopia. He gets a lot of stick from the other Careers for not killing me, which he vents into full blown anger at Marvel, shoving him against the Cornucopia and threatening to kill him right then. Peeta turns up at one point, and just before he's killed he offers an alliance so he can help find Katniss for them.
Reluctantly, the group agrees and so they hunt for other tributes. It skips to the middle of the night where they kill the girl from 8; stabbing her in the chest and little did they realise that Katniss was right nearby.
The next few days were quiet if I remember correctly. A subtitle shows that we're a few days in and this is the day where the forest was set alight. Katniss' escape was more dramatic from the fire; she must have run for miles. The only part they show of mine is me dodging the fireballs whilst running away. She heads to a small pond where she submerges herself in water; but is quickly found the Careers.
She runs up a tree and stays up there. The girl Career from 4 tries to use the bow to shoot Katniss but misses. Cato snatches it off of her and also misses. It speeds forward to the next day when Rue suddenly appears in a nearby tree to Katniss and gestures to a tracker-jacker nest. She manages to saw it free from the branch before it drops to the ground, landing near to the girl from 4 who screams whilst her life slowly comes to an end. The other Careers scramble in different directions.
It then shows me climbing down from my nearby tree and shows me running after Peeta and tailing him back to the scene of the crime. He urges Katniss to run and there I am in the background; close to the floor and looking prepared to strike. It's when Cato appears that my disgusted and slightly pained expression is clearly visible. Aside from the dirt and the scratches that gave me a tough image, you can tell that I'm deeply affected by this. I only zone back in on the tape when I'm actually in the process of taking Cato to the tree.
The audience whisper. I feel as if I'm missing a trick here. Something's happened maybe. It replays our conversation in the tree after I've managed to look after his wounds and to be perfectly honest it looks tense. It's only when we're asleep that things change. We're also shown how the little girl from 11 helps Katniss to heal and Thresh taking down a wolf like mutt in his part of the arena.
There are a couple of things that I don't understand. Cato receives a sponsor package when I'm asleep which he goes and collects. I wonder if it is medicine. He drinks from a small vial before he reads the note. It cuts away there to him going back in to the tree. I'm shaking. It looks like I'm having a nightmare and he looks at me with sympathy I think. He sits up against the tree wall and looks at me again; I haven't stopped shaking and I'm whimpering.
Then, unexpected he pulls me to him so I'm nestled into the crook of his neck.
I look back at him onstage, fully aware of this being broadcast to Panem. He told me that I moved there yet he pulled me to him. It's almost a glare I give him as I narrow my eyes at him, but he refuses to look back.
I carry on watching, the constant whispers from the audience start to get to me as it shows me and Cato saying our goodbyes. The kiss on the hand pulls giggles and whistles before we part our separate ways on screen and Cato stays and watches me. When he gets back to the Cornucopia, he takes charge of the dwindling Career pack again.
Thank goodness it shows Katniss and Rue together during these days of nothing. It shows the relationship they had and obvious Katniss thought a lot of her. They sleep cocooned together which causes a few sniffles from the audience. Nothing major but it's worth noting that both were well liked by the audience. It also shows her and Rue's plan to blow up the supplies at the Cornucopia.
Katniss does it, but Rue gets caught in a net. Marvel then finds her and spears her straight through the middle. I feel sick again and I clench my hands together even more. Then it starts to show my conversation and fight with the boy from 10.
I can't physically bring myself to watch. I look at the floor just in front of me as I hear flesh slice and my shouts. I feel as if my whole world is about to implode, moreover I feel as if I can't handle being on this stage calling myself a victor. I don't watch the screen for a while; not even to watch snippets of me and Katniss' short-lived alliance. It's then that I realise that I've dug my nails so hard into the flesh on my hands that I'm bleeding.
The next time I hesitate a glance upwards its Katniss and Peeta after the announcement in a cave. There are a lot of kisses and cuddles and this time for sure there are people crying in the audience. So that is what they wanted after all. They didn't want the bloodthirsty Career and the girl from the woods; they wanted the star-crossed lovers.
It also shows Thresh and Foxface, how she almost fainted whilst walking through the woods and how Thresh offered an alliance if she helped him with berry identification. She agrees. It's then before the feast. I'm not sure how much more of this I can handle. During the feast Thresh beats Clove head in with a rock to save Katniss and just after I appear and run back away. Foxface collects her bag separately, I note, but watches the feast in some bushes. The two scram quickly as Cato's shouts get nearer. He arrives just before Clove dies and holds the small girl in his arms as she dies. His face hardens into something cold and angry before he walks off into the forest; probably trying to find some prey.
Before I know it, it's me and Thresh's fight and it's when Cato comes to help me that things are slightly strange. Cato kills Thresh with a rock to the head, actually he does it quite a lot which worries me slightly as he doesn't look completely sane. He looks almost inhuman for a moment before he sees me trying to crawl away. What a pathetic sight I look; with blood seeping through my hair and my senses completely gone. You can tell that I'm pretty badly hurt.
We converse slightly, he looks worried and as he picks me up I wipe some blood on his cheek as I think I was trying to kid myself that he wasn't real. I then succumb to the darkness and Cato carries me back to the Cornucopia. It splits between us and, Peeta and Katniss' time in the cave which more people weep at because the pair are acting so in love. In the mean time whilst I'm out Cato checks my head wound and bandages it up.
When it gets to that night it doesn't show our full conversation, it skips to when I go and walk away and Cato helping me back. After then, it skips to the part where I'm having that horrible nightmare. I shake in my sleep again and Cato sees this. It doesn't look reluctant though when he pulls me close. Even when I kiss him on the cheek he doesn't look entirely annoyed either. The audience 'awh' and I can feel a blush appearing on my face.
When I'm asleep though, Cato doesn't really look around too much, his eyes are firmly fixed on my sleeping form. I'm still confused as to why he's actually been so nice to me when I'm asleep though; it puzzles me. When he eventually falls asleep the girl from 5 does steal food from my bag, and Cato wakes up just as she flees. I'll have a chance to ask about his actions though very soon, so I shouldn't really complain.
It skips to the girl from 5 eating Nightlock berries and perishing soon after, then to our fight with the mutts and I can't bring myself to watch. My screams are enough to worry me and to make me feel as if I'm back in the arena. I can't watch this part, and when it actually gets to the horrific death of Peeta I feel faint. He was trying to climb a tree and was pulled down and mauled. Katniss jumps down from another tree she was in and uses her knife to slash at some of the mutts but she doesn't have her bow.
She screams and panics but in the end she succumbs to the mutts too and the audience weep once more. Then it's our conversation whilst she's still alive and her death. It skips my positioning to the final shot of Cato helping me to the hovercraft.
The audience give a round of applause for our victory. Now they'll probably been at least one or two questions asked before the main interview tomorrow night just because there are obviously some massive questions to be asked. Tonight, I fear is going to be a long night. Because we will probably have other things to do like press meetings, but also because I just know uncomfortable questions will be asked and I won't have a clue as to how we should respond to them.
"Obviously, the question on everyone's lips is apparent."
Caesar's speech hangs in the air as he waits for a response from us. I still don't completely understand as to what he is implying, but I know that I have to basically go along with it. The only question I want to ask Cato is why he lied to me about him saying I moved my head on his shoulder when he was the one who pulled me close. Maybe my clueless look makes Caesar prompt us again, or perhaps that neither of us quite know how to reply.
"Let me be a little more explicit with my question," his eyebrows are attempting to raise but it appears that it's quite difficult when you must have had a lot of facial surgery to keep yourself young. "Do you two have feelings for one another, or is it just me?"
The audience hoots and laughs with the vaguely comedic way he's asking us this incredibly serious question. I feel so sick right now. This is what Johanna meant by playing to whatever is implied; a fake relationship of all things. No wonder she said don't get angry. The Capitol couldn't have their favourite star-crossed lovers so they settle for second best in order to pacify their selfish needs. I feel like that was our whole purpose the whole time now.
Perhaps the silence says it all, as it is eventually broken by Cato who can easily work an audience. Even he seems a little reluctant to give a straight answer though as if he's attempting to buy time. "Well Caesar, that's a very personal question there."
"But it's the question that we all want to know!"
I can feel Cato look at me with something soft in his eye. The chairs are close together and I feel very uncomfortable. I don't think he's ever looked at me in this way, but I'm reminded of the way he watched me sleep when we were in the Cornucopia. He doesn't take his icy blue eyes off of me when he speaks, and I try not to meet them with mine firmly fixed on the ground. "You don't know how much I love her."
Love.
My eyes jolt up to look at him and my expression is one of genuine shock. I actually feel the need to punch him because he's just given into this media circus the Capitol wants. This then means that I have to reciprocate these feelings to boot. Whatever I may feel about him, it's not love. There's no way that it is love nor it never will be. Love is something sacred, not something like which he's talking about. Is this it? Is this what I have to play up to?
I assume so, and I try and act a little more surprised as in my mind I'm trying to spin out my own reply which can match his. The audience are going crazy waiting for my response and in the end I ramble out a rather strange reply. I try and smile at him too because I'm only thinking about going along with this to keep the people I love safe. This is how we survive.
"Did you ever know that I felt the same about you?"
I try and smile but it looks a little strained. I feel strangely fatigued and I don't know how much I can cope with this. He grins at me before he takes a hand from my lap and wraps it in his. For a second his eyes narrow slightly as if he's trying to work out something, but I realise that he's gripping the hand that I've cut with my nails. I feel ashamed but I know that by smiling at him and pretending that it's ok, it should be. We must look so lovesick right now and I want to laugh so badly at the stupidity of the situation.
"How wonderful! It appears we have a new celebrity couple Panem! Aren't they just perfect for one another?"
The crowd cheers their approval and our (fake) beaming smiles to each other are really not helping the situation between us. His eyes suddenly turn cold; there's something unforgiving in them. You did this, he's subconsciously telling me, this is all your fault. But was it really my fault for being human?
"Now I know that we want to talk to them longer," the audience boo because they must want to, "But I'll be interviewing them at two tomorrow afternoon! Don't you miss it because there are a lot of questions that need to be asked! Now then just before you are crowned winners, on behalf over everyone watching how about a little kiss?"
I'm not calm anymore, I didn't think that this would happen. Perhaps in my innocence of the love of couples I completely forgot that there would have to be some kind of proof. I can feel another blush come across my cheeks as I start to feel more than just unsettled; I'm petrified. Cato's hand tenses slightly and I look to him, my eyes attempting to find out what he wants to do.
But in a second he leans over and kisses me on the lips, he lets my hand go and uses both of his to just slightly cup each of my cheeks. It also keeps my head in place so I can't move away. He strokes both cheeks ever so slightly as his lips engulf mine. It's gentle and to be perfectly honest, I've never seen him be like this. I keep my eyes closed so I don't have to see the bad look he's probably trying to give me. It blots out the noise of the Capitol citizens anyway.
After a few seconds he moves away with our noses touch and our foreheads just slightly connecting. He then fully moves back into his seat and our hands entwine again. We don't look at each other after then.
The response of the Capitol people is one of pure joy and cheering and whoops... I can't even begin to describe the reaction because everyone goes absolutely berserk. After Caesar has calmed them down he stands up, as do we because now both I and Cato will be crowned victors.
We stand side by side as the anthem blares and President Snow enters with a little girl carrying one crown on a pillow. I can hear the people wondering how this is going to happen and who will get the crown.
"Cato will; he's the true victor."
"But she showed compassion."
Their murmurings do more than to unsettle me; they make me want to cry. When Snow reaches just before us he picks up the crown and it separates into two halves. Cato has to bend down slightly so Snow can reach his head. We're still holding hands but Snow whispers a few things to him, and for a split second I see Cato's face look slightly panicked. He quickly recovers and soon President Snow moves on to me, placing my half upon my head. I smile and say thank you.
"Well don't you just look radiant?" He says loud enough for Cato to hear. But is tone is slightly sinister, mocking maybe. I don't quite know how to respond but I still try and look happy. "And here you are now officially in a relationship with your co-victor. How charming. It's a shame though because many people here would have loved to have spent some time with you."
His eyes are serpent like as they stare right into me. Something in Cato snaps as he grips my hand rather tightly. It goes numb in a few seconds. I try and smile back before he leaves us to it. We absorb the audience reaction for minutes, and it's the most painful few minutes of my life because I now know that President Snow is certainly not on our side.
{-.-}
First of all, if there are any typos / errors I'm sorry but I've been rushing to get through this slightly shorter chapter. I'll go back through and get rid of the errors tomorrow. Thank you all so much for your support, all of you are brilliant and I can't express enough how much you inspire me to finish this!
Now on to the news. I don't know if I've mentioned this, but Humanity will be four parts (pre-Games, Games part one, Games part two and post-Games). Also, a lot of you have been asking about a sequel, and now is the perfect time to say that there will be one. It will be loosely based off Catching Fire, but the key word is loosely. I'll be posting some teaser art just before this story is over with which should make you very happy C: As for the questions about Willow being the Mockingjay: basically she won't be. Cryptic much?
With thanks to: Nelle07 (I wanted to be different, and to go completely AU so I thought it would be a better idea), alwaysamarauder16 (thank you m'lovely! I'm sorry I made you cry :/), Aria I Love Hunger Games (I know I should be writing more but I'm still very very busy), geranium08 (sorry, but things never work out completely, do they?), StardustIsMagic (I see the fellow English Lit student in your review aha. Thank you for being such an awesome author's anonymous buddy aha!), HeraOfTheStars (I'm glad you love it, I've got a couple of pieces of fanart as teasers for the sequel which I'll post soon C:), Luli Cullen (thank you! Hope you enjoy this one!), May Traverse (originality is what I strive for!), DreamingUntilForever11 (thank you for telling me what parts you like, it really helps!), Mace (I've possibly upset you because you can kind of tell their relationship is going backwards, sorry lol), PeppermintAmortentia (Trust me, next chapter will be something. The reunion isn't over yet), Brooke223 (thank you so much, this means a lot!), bbymojo (I hope your exams have gone well, and I think from now on Willow knows that not all is right and being strong is what is needed for survival. Your points and detailed review was really helpful, thank you!), Caella (thank you, trust me we haven't seen anything yet), Seeker Draconis (asdfghjkl thank you lots. Trust me, the moments are coming but not in the way you'll hope :/), Amelia-Black-di Angel0 (thank you, that means a lot to me! Please check your pms because your fanart link wouldn't work), criminal-princess (asdfghj thank you lots! It means a lot for you to say this!), maddielala56 (I really want a cookie now aha! Thank you so much for taking the time to review and I hope that you stay with this story until its end) and Priscilla X. Silver (I'm sorry for the bad timing! But I hope you're enjoying it C:). Also with thanks to Hey, julieAKAweirdo, bubz and HermioneandMarcus.
Anyway, remember to follow me on twitter for updates and such, although I've taken to fangirl on it a lot. It's wearethelightff C:
See you next Saturday, I promise that it will be a very interesting chapter! We'll be meeting some characters that are pretty key to Catching Fire and Mockingjay so see you then!
wearethelight
xox