Hate is Only Skin Deep by Simply Hopeless (FF)/ Assassin's Kiss (AFF)/ Devil_n_Blue (MMPH)/ Hopeless_Blue_Kiss (AO3). I am 1 writer w/ 4 usernames on 4 sites.
Warning: Language, Minor Character Death, Animagus (magical cat girl), Original Character, Het, Abuse, Angst, AU/AR, Pregnancy, WAFF Violence, and Work In Progress. These things may happen now or later as the story progresses. You have been warned.
Disclaimer: I do not own or make any profit from the anime/manga 'Inuyasha' and/or own any of the characters from it. This product is the sole property of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Media. I am, however, the sole author of this fanfic and owner of the original characters that I created: Terry, Faith, Joy and Hope. So please do not steal them and/or my story. It's happened before.
Author's Note: Hey it's me Simply and I apologize I didn't update last week. I decided at the last minute to start updating on Tuesdays… The updates align better with my birthday that's coming in two and a half months. But more than likely ya'll (that's that South coming out in me) have already alerted me; so I hope it's not too much inconvenience and enjoy. I look forward to your reviews as always.
Chapter Fourteen: The Calm Before the Storm
Kagome stared blurrily up at the ceiling wondering where she was. She licked dry, cracked lips with the tip of her tongue hoping that it would moisten her lips. But it did nothing much but seek some of her much needed strength.
Her eyelids alone felt unbearably warm and it felt like someone had a tight fist around her chest. Squeezing it as if to test the level of her endurance. She let out a wheezing cough as she tried to push herself up to a sitting position but fell back limply against the bed.
'What is wrong with me,' she thought and let out a soft whimper as she felt the pain in her chest tighten.
"Sssshhh. Don't worry everything will be okay," soothed a familiar female voice. Kagome was barely able to turn her head to see her former nurse, Mai, looking at her with concerned green eyes.
"Wh… what happened to—"" but then her voice cracked as if the dryness of her throat was too much for her poor vocal cords.
Nurse Mai pressed an ice chip against Kagome's lips and the young woman gratefully opened her mouth to receive more.
"I took a few of these from the maternity ward," Mai whispered in a conspirator's voice as if she wasn't supposed to. "I don't think even the slight citric acid of orange juice would do you well right at this point in time."
She pressed her cool fingers against Kagome's forehead and Kagome's eyes fluttered gratefully closed. "What is… I thought I was in… But now I am here… where is Inuyasha?" she flitted from one sentence to another not sure which to choose but decided that Inuyasha would be a safe bet.
"This is interesting. Usually you would try to avoid Dr. Inuyasha. Did something happen while you were gone from here that you would like to tell me about?" Mai looked hopefully at Kagome starving for gossip but seeing Kagome's deep, even breathing she realized that the girl had fell asleep.
Mai sighed and stood up before combing her fingers through her hair. "I might as well inform the others that you finally woke up after you three day sleep," sighed Mai and shook her head sadly.
She opened the door her mind traveling to the people waiting in the hospital's visiting room when she nearly stumbled upon the little girl.
"My apologies," Mai's freckled face look down at the girl, irritation all but gone.
"Kagome," the girl's soft voice was more statement then question. She was already pushing her way into the room when Mai grabbed her small wrist.
"Are you a member of the family?" Mai smiled nervously at the girl before pulling her hands away. The little girl felt as cold as marble and the barest of her touch seem to leech away at not just the warmth at her fingertips but at her very soul.
The girl looked at her for a few heartbeats before walking back out of the room. "Tell Kagome that Master will never give up," she brushed passed Mai before walking down the hallway clutching her mirror in her hands.
"Um… sure," Mai laughed nervously closing Kagome's door before walking out to the others. 'Creepy,' she thought to herself shivering.
THREE DAYS LATER, IN INUYASHA'S GUEST HOUSE
Kagome had been looking out at the window, her elbows pressing against the windowsill, her hand cupping her chin as she listened to Kaede talk about school. Her index finger traced little designs from the moisture perspiring from the window. It was raining hard outside and she relished being safe and warm inside the room.
"Ka… Kagome can I ask you a question?" she looked nervously at the young woman who turned her head to look at Kaede.
"Of course you can," Kagome turned around in the window seat to get a better look at Kaede sitting close to her.
"Kagome this might seem like an odd question but are you jealous of Kikyou? I mean when she was still alive were you jealous of her?" Kaede nibbled nervously on her bottom lip knowing that she shouldn't intrude.
She knew that Kagome was still recovering from her flu but already her face wasn't flushed all over from the unbearable heat and she had been taking fluids regularly. It had seemed a reasonable question when she had thought of it but now in the open it hung like a dark cloud above them.
Kagome looked up at Kaede in surprise; shocked by her question. 'Am I… am I jealous of Kikyou.' Kagome shook her head and smiled bitterly to herself. "Of course I'm not jealous of Kikyou."
"Thanks for answering my question," Kaede smiled happily and gave Kagome a hug before standing up. "I'll be right back okay?" Kaede went to the door as soon as Kagome nodded her head in acceptance.
'Something… something always made me pity Kikyou and Kagome for different reasons,' Kaede thought looking back at Kagome. She could see the older girl was lost in her own thoughts. She sighed before walking out the door.
Kagome's mind hadn't let go of the question. She began to turn it around in her head analyzing it. 'Am I, Kagome Higurashi, jealous of my best friend Kikyou Ando?'
She tried to shake her head to deny it but she knew that she was lying to herself. She had enjoyed Kikyou's friendship but there was no use shaking away the deep regret that she had become Kikyou's shadow.
'Copy,' paraded through her head taunting her with its four simple letters. The word made her cringe. She didn't know how many times that Naraku, Inuyasha or others had called her that. But she had grinned and bared it. Pushing it back to the secret recesses of her mind but now it came out in full force.
'You don't want to leave Kouga because you know that no one else will have you,' laughed a voice in her head.
'But… but…' she thought in a small voice shaking her head.
"Hi Kagome I'm back," Kaede smiled cheerfully. She held to cups of coco in her hands and walked over to Kagome ready to hand her hers.
"I WILL NEVER BE ANYTHNG. I WILL ALWAYS BE HER SHADOW AND I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT!" Kagome screamed jarred from her thoughts and stood up. Before Kaede could do or say anything she watched as Kagome ran out of the door clutching her head.
Hot tears ran down her cheeks, her throat burning and tightening at the sorrow that wracked her body. She couldn't believe she said that in front of Kaede but it was true. Kikyou was the famous ballerina and Kagome the mild manner kindergarten teacher.
Kikyou was the essence of grace and pious. The way she carried herself, how she always seemed to want to see the good in everyone included Onigumo. She wasn't selfish like Kagome. She didn't try to hide her truth self behind a cheerful smile and an understanding word.
'I'm a fraud… a fake,' she thought and fell to her knees crying harder. Hands pressed hard against her face in hopes to stop the torrent of tears. 'I hated Kikyou… I adore Kikyou… I was better without her… I would never trade her friendship for anything…' conflicting thoughts ricochet around in her head screaming for attention and she moaned at her helplessness.
FLASHBACK
"Oh look it's the ugly looking duckling walking with the swan. Maybe she thinks by standing by Kikyou she will be more important," giggled Inari behind her hand.
"Yeah I bet you the only reason Kagome and Kikyou are best friends was because Kikyou felt pity for her," snickered Natsu flipping back her long black hair.
"Don't listen to them Kagome," Kikyou frowned disapprovingly at the girls before smiling at Kagome.
"Of… of course not. If I can handle Inuyasha then they are a cakewalk," smiled Kagome reassuringly but inside her heart was aching. 'How is it no one noticed how much I'm hurting,' she thought frowning inwardly.
She looked down at her arm knowing that under her sleeve was a long, week old scar starting from her elbow and ending halfway to her wrist. It was another failed suicide attempt.
She wanted to die… she needed to die. No one cared for her. No one needed her. Even when they claimed they did she strongly doubted it. They were just saying this because they felt pity for her.
"Are you sure you are okay Kagome? Your not your usual cheerful self," Kikyou frowned in concern and reached to grab Kagome's sleeve.
Kagome jerked her arm away quickly before laughing nervously before playing it off to scratch her nose.
"I have an itch," she laughed. But already delicate fingers grasped her wrists gently before forcing her sleep up to see what she was hiding.
"Ka… kagome how? Why?" tears began to fill Kikyou's lovely brown eyes making Kagome feel like her heart was sinking.
'I caused her to cry. I made my best friend cry because I hated my life… wanted to end my life. I never want anyone to worry about me… to cry about me,' she thought firmly then began to giggle trying to put Kikyou's fears to rest.
"What do you think I did try to kill myself?" Kagome said jokingly poking Kikyou playfully with her finger.
"I… uh… yes," Kikyou murmured feebly blushing faintly, her brown eyes shone with concern. "I just don't want you to do what my father did."
"Of course I wouldn't Kikyou, I care for you too much to leave you now," Kagome wrapped her arms around Kikyou's neck. "It was just an accident. I was reaching on my shelf for something and you know that heavy box that I keep on the top of my shelve?" Kagome looked at Kikyou expectantly.
"Yeah," Kikyou nodded eager to swallow the lie if only to reassure her rapidly beating heart. "Well see I lost my balanced and fell and of course I reached for something to steady myself and in the process I nicked my arm against the sharp edge of the box before falling down hard on the floor… You do believe me, don't you?"
Kagome tried to hide her nervousness. She didn't want to seem to eager or Kikyou wouldn't believe her but she sighed inwardly when her friend nodded her head in acceptance.
"Good now if you don't smile right now I'll pinch you," Kagome pulled away from Kikyou and tried to put on a stern face before erupting into giggles.
"As long as I'm by your side I will be fine so no worries."
Kikyou smiled and hugged Kagome tightly. "No worries."
END FLASHBACK
"As long as I'm by your side I will be fine so no worries," she murmured softly to herself looking at the ground. "No worries."
It hadn't been until Kouga that she really got back her confidence. Before then she was a nervous wreck. He was the only one who genuinely saw her as an individual, as someone apart from Kikyou.
"Kagome… Kagome I'm sorry if I upset you," Kaede quickly ran towards Kagome's side and fell to her knees before hugging the older girl. "I knew I shouldn't have asked but I was so curious to know," Kaede almost whimpered.
"No worries," Kagome whispered blankly her mind already trying to retreat back into herself. Back to when Kikyou was still alive and Kouga was faithful.
She saw the vacant look in Kagome's eyes, the way she had stopped trembling from the cold
Kaede's heart was thudding painfully against her chest. 'Seeing her like this… it was frightening,' it brought up to many bad memories… memories of her mother's last dying days.
"Damn you Kagome don't do this to me. Don't leave me too," Kaede patted Kagome's cheeks hard.
'But this doesn't have to be like this. It isn't like this.'
Brushing back hair plastered in front of her face she began to slowly rock the older woman from side, making soothing, hushing noised. The fact that she hadn't been this scared or hurt since her sister had died didn't seem to quell the need to take control of the situation.
It wasn't long till she felt Kagome lean gently against her before turning her head up to smile warily at Kaede. "I'm so sorry," she sighed out.
Kaede didn't know whether Kagome was still crying because it was still raining hard or was it just the rain on its on. Kagome reached out with trembling fingers to brush her fingertips slowly down Kaede's cheek.
"I hate it when people are sad because of me. It tears me up inside. I'm so sorry for hurting you… so sorry but please don't tell anyone about this, okay?" she looked almost desperate her brown eyes unusually bright.
"Of… of course but we should really get out the cold rain," Kaede nodded her head firmly and began to help the older woman up while managing to stand herself. And just as they turned to go back inside they heard Inuyasha's voice coming from the window of the main house.
"Why in the hell are you two outside, soaking wet in the rain? Are you really trying to catch your deaths out there? I thought not so march your asses back inside," growled Inuyasha before slamming the window shut.
Kagome and Kaede looked at each other for a few minutes before bursting into giggles. With Kagome leaning heavily on Kaede's shoulder they went back inside and Kagome marched purposely off to the little kitchen as if nothing happened.
'But something happened Kagome… You showed me a side that I thought never even existed,' Kaede thought but smiled happily to Kagome when she handed her some hot chocolate.
'Dear sister a lot has happened since you have been gone… a lot that might test us to the last,' Kaede bent her head to blow on her hot chocolate and wiped away a stray tear.
THE NEXT DAY AT THE PICNIC
"Um… Kagome why is everyone giving me the silent treatment?" Kouga looked nervously from Faith to Kaede to even little Shippo who was throwing him little dirty looks.
"Well why don't you get me an ice cream from the vendor and I'll go and see," Kagome smiled brightly at him and kissed him quickly before watching him reluctantly get up.
Kouga threw a backwards glance towards the others before walking towards the vendor selling ice cream. He didn't bother asking Kagome what she would like because he knew by now.
Kagome watched her boyfriend walking down the gentle slope of the hill that they were on before turning frowning eyes on her friends. "What the hell is your problem," her smile had vanished in an instant and her eyes roamed around the others searchingly.
"Why are you with him Kagome?" Sango blurted out before covering her mouth. She looked nervously to Miroku to help her out but he was busy checking out a pretty young lady riding a bicycle in the park.
Sango quickly put an end with that by pinching arm but it didn't stop Kagome from giving her a scorching look. "Who the hell told you that… Inuyasha it was you wasn't it?" Kagome turned her angry eyes on him the 'S' word already forming on her lips.
"Hell no it wasn't me," Inuyasha said quickly knowing what the miko had up her sleeve. He feh'd when he noticed that he had looked almost frighten at the possibility of being sit.
"Then who then?" tight lipped she raised her eyebrow questioningly with her arms crossed against her chest.
"It had to be that damn kitsune Faith or maybe that fur ball of yours. They both have big mouths," Inuyasha's eyes flickered from the little kitsune to the older kitsune who both growled at him in annoyance.
"Don't bring me into this unless you want to gain a black eye," Faith balled up her fist as if she was ready to deliver the blow now. But Inuyasha shrugged it off because he knew that it was hard enough now for Faith to even sit up into a kneeling position without much effort.
"What about you brat?" Inuyasha looked over at Shippo who frowned. Shippo was tempted to climb into the angry miko's lap but thought better of it as he saw that even Kagome's eyes looked at him with slight disapproval.
"I didn't say anything. 'Member you threatened me if I even mentioned the scary wolf man's name," Shippo was close to tears but even still he didn't say the name Kouga. He clutched his head and closed his eyes tightly shut as if ready to feel the blow of Inuyasha's fist against his head but none came.
Kagome scooped Shippo quickly into her arms and cooed softly to him. "I'm not mad at you and I don't believe you did it," she began to stroke his reddish-brown hair to put his mind at rest.
"Then who the hell did?" Inuyasha said crossly, he looked at Faith for a moment. "Where'd you hear about the Kagome and Kouga issue?"
"What Kagome and Kouga issue?" Miroku rubbed his arm trying to recover from that pinch but it still hurt like hell.
"You don't know?" Shippo looked in surprise at Miroku.
"Know what? Tell me?" Miroku almost whined and looked over to his girlfriend to fill in the blank.
"There is no Kagome and Kouga issue," Kagome growled out menacingly.
But undeterred Faith added to the tail end of her sentence. "Kouga is cheating on Kagome with Ayame," she nodded in a all-knowing way to Miroku.
"You mean Hojo's Ayame?" Miroku looked both surprised and amused.
"The one and the same. That little bitch how could she," Faith continued. She leaned slightly forward as if she was ready to gossip more but then all of a sudden Kagome stood up and glared down at her friends.
"No more word about this. You will like Kouga regardless because I love him. And if you bother him I'm going to give each of you your on personal subduing charm and sit you from here to kingdom come," she hissed before turning to walk off only to bump into Ayame and Hojo coming up the hill.
"Sorry we're late. I was having car trouble," Hojo laughed nervously rubbing the back of his head.
"It's okay," Kagome quickly recovered but already she was squeezing Shippo a little to tightly when she heard Ayame's comment.
"So where is your boyfriend Kouga, Kagome?" Before Kagome could slap her or do anything the girl wolf was off to find him.
"Um… Kagome you're hurting me," squeaked Shippo and as soon as she loosened her grip he was off.
"Wow this is going to be interesting," Inuyasha smirked leaning himself back.
"Interesting how?" Hojo asked curiously as he took a seat on the picnic blanket.
"Sit Inuyasha!" Kagome almost roared before going off to find Ayame.
"O-kay. Sorry I asked," Hojo let out a sigh knowing that he was missing something important but not knowing what.
THE NEXT DAY AT TAISHO CORP.
Grumbling to herself, Faith made her way down the hallway when she smelled the scent of muffins. She tried her hardest to resist but she had skipped breakfast that day in her rush to get ready for her doctor's appointment.
'Sesshy is going to be mad at me,' she frowned but her mouth was already watering. She took a step forward then stopped, still undecided. Then she felt the insistent kick of one of her kits in her stomach.
She glared accusingly at her bulging stomach before sighing and walking into the staff room. Her eyes lit up as she saw the wall lined with vending machines. She was already making a beeline to the candy vending machine, her sweet tooth demanding satisfaction first, when she accidently bumped into someone.
"Oh, I'm so sorry I didn't see you there," she murmured. Her head already bowed in apology, she was truly embarrassed that she had had eyes only for the vending machines.
"Not forgiven," the cool voice snapped Faith out of her good humor and thoughts of candy.
"What do you mean not forgiven?" She had refocused her eyes on the one she had bumped into. She winced as she saw the lukewarm coffee soaking the woman's blouse before her eyes settled on dark pink eyes.
Faith narrowed her eyes and bit down on the inside of her cheek to stop herself from saying anymore. She looked at Kagura suspiciously knowing that the wind youkai hated her.
She forced herself to smile. "But I am truly sorry. See I hadn't had anything to eat all day and I couldn't help but focus on the vending machine. I really didn't see you I'm sorry and if you like I can—"
"Stop your damn chattering," hissed Kagura and slapped Faith across her face.
The kitsune ice blue eyes widen in surprise her mouth opening and shutting as if she was trying to find the right words but couldn't.
"You… you hit me," she said stunned. Her mind was muddled up with thoughts of Lamaze classes, appointments, her hatred for Joy and everything else that it took her body a while to digest this new addition to her problems.
"Why did Sesshomaru choose a slow bitch like you?" Kagura looked at Faith resentfully before moving to the sink to clean off her blouse.
Faith just watched blankly as the wind youkai went on her little task but she was pissed. 'I need to rein in my emotions but she's asking for it,' Faith thought quickly taking a seat. She reached for a muffin and took a vicious bite from it imagining that it was Kagura's flesh she was biting into.
"I mean really Faith you should know that only reason he choose you is because he was duty bound. If it wasn't for the fact that your parents had been planning your marriage with him from the beginning of Sesshomaru and your birth then I'd have still been with him. You're just a luck, rich bitch," Kagura sighed mumbling more to herself then to Faith.
She yanked her head up when she felt something soft hit against her head. She turned quickly around and glared at Faith who nibbled on her muffin. The kitsune looked up at her curiously as if she was just as confused as Kagura.
"May I help you?" Faith asked sweetly, a small smile spreading across her lips before biting into the muffin again. Faith tried desperately to focus on chewing, swallowing and biting into the muffin. 'If I fill my mind with only this then I won't get mad and then I won't have to disappoint Sesshy,' she thought desperately clinging to that knowledge.
Kagura looked down to see that the soft thing that hit her head was a huge chunk of muffin. Seeing that there was no one else in the room except for the wizen janitor sweeping the floor it was only right to assume that Faith hit her with it.
"You have ten seconds why the fuck you hit me with that muffin or… or…" Kagura wondered if she could really threaten the president's wife but right now she didn't care. One nail had been torn clean off, the rest chipped from Naraku's digging errand. 'If the universe wants to fuck with me then I'll just fuck it right back,' she thought grimly.
"He loves me whore unlike you," hissed Faith dangerously low, her eyes concentrating on the half eaten muffin. "If he wanted to be with you he would and you know it. Nothing can make Sesshy do anything but himself. You just want to blame me," Faith decided to lift up her head then and smirked at the enraged Kagura.
"BITCH!" growled Kagura and pulled the fan clasped to her hip and waved it. Quickly the door slammed close and the lock turned locking them inside. She didn't even notice the janitor making soft tsk tsking noises. No, she wanted the kitsune to pay and feel what she had been dealing with all her life.
"Bitches are female dogs. I'm a fox, so get it straight before declaring someone stupid!" Faith tried her best to sound calm but her control was slipping away.
"DO YOU KNOW HOW MY LIFE HAS BEEN!" she yelled then laughed bitterly. "OF COURSE NOT YOU'RE A SPOILED, PAMPERED LITTLE BRAT THAT CAN'T PICK UP ANYTHING UNLESS YOU'RE AFRAID YOU'LL CHIP A NAIL. YOU'RE THE FUCKING REASON I MISSED MY CHANCE AT HAPPINSESS WITH SESSHOMARU!"
Faith stood up slowly began to pin back the hair that swirled around her shoulders in an inky blue pool. 'If I have to fight her then at least I can't have this in my way,' she thought opening a hair pin with her teeth before tucking it into her hair till she successfully pinned her hair back. Finished she began to crackle her knuckles.
"Oh, am I supposed to be scared by that? So the little brat can crack her knuckles should I be running in fear with my tail between my legs," Kagura tapped her fan against the palm of her hands impatiently.
"You know nothing about me," Faith said coolly. Her anger was flaring up so badly that she seemed to go cold inside. She could feel the frantic kicking of one or more kits against her belly but not even their insistent pounding could smolder her anger.
"Save your little crappy story for someone who cares," Kagura clicked her fan open and close wondering if she should start the attack or should she just let the kitsune. Their battle aura hung thickly in the air crackling around them to be seen by anyone aware but of course the janitor didn't see as he went about his task whistling.
But before they could launch themselves at each other Sesshomaru burst through the door and looked scathingly at both. "You Kagura, your suspended without pay," Sesshomaru said coolly.
Faith snickered and stuck out her tongue at the angry and deflated Kagura.
"And you Faith. You will go back home right now and you will not leave your room into the pups are born," Sesshomaru commanded, his piercing eyes on his wife.
"Did you just… did you just ground me?" Faith eyes widen in surprise that the injustice of it all. 'I didn't even fight,' she thought moodily.
"In a way yes. Now go home now. Do I have to take you my self or should I call a cab for you?" he continued as his wife brushed angrily passed him.
"Whatever you wish Sesshomaru-sama," she hissed coolly, her pursed clutched in her hands.
"I'm only doing this to protect you in the pups. You are unstable in this state right now what with your mood swings and your short temper," Sesshomaru tried to rationalize with his wife but she said nothing as she pressed the elevator to go down the stairs.
"I do not have mood swings," she wiped angry tears away, her foot tapping as she waited impatiently for the elevator door to open.
"And what do you call this?" he questioned almost amused despite the situation.
"Don't you dare laugh Sesshomaru," she whipped on him and glared on him before stepping in the elevator. She quickly pressed the 'close door' button so that she wouldn't have to deal with her husband. She was so close to sobbing that her body shook with the effort to stay calm.
"I'm going to take you home myself," Sesshomaru decided quickly and forced the door open before it could seal completely close. He stepped inside and wrapped his arms just as Faith erupted into sobbing.
THAT MIDNIGHT
Kagome could hear the insistent knocking on her door and so quickly ran to answer it.
"I'm coming, I'm coming. Keep your pants on!" She almost tripped over her slippers in such a hurry to answer the door. When she opened the door she looked in surprise as she looked at the frowning kitsune woman in her pajamas, her pants leg torn slightly to reveal a cut.
"Sesshomaru has been worried about you. I just heard him call me a few minutes ago asking if you had come here," Kagome frowned and tugged Faith into her house before closing the door.
Faith was clutching a pillow against her chest and frowned slightly at the mention of her husband's name.
"Can you believe he grounded me!" she growled before she walked into the kitchen following her nose to a much needed midnight snack.
'Good News and Bad News,' is the next chapter. Haven't you notice how people say there is good news and bad news. For example the good news is Rin and Shippo are going to be adopted. And then there is the bad news. The bad news is Naraku wants Kagome dead and that might mean Shippo will go down with her. So much for me letting you down easily. Oh well, I hope you enjoy and I can't wait for you comments.
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