The Deep, Dark and Cold of the Universe

Obi-Wan reached out with the Force for some sort of sinister intent among the crowd in the hall. Prince Rye, the soon-to-be king of Rexomnium now that his father had passed, stood at the end of the room on a pulpit. Obi-Wan locked eyes with Anakin across the hall. Anakin's eyes told Obi-Wan that he felt no maliciousness. Still, Obi-Wan remained vigilant. If someone were to try something, today would be the day to do it.

The music changed, and the congregation within the ceremonial hall of Rexomnium's palace stood and faced the other end. Obi-Wan, haunting the edge of the room, moved along to gain a better view. His heart pounded, and he felt rather nauseous. He reached the end of the hall, where Rye waited in his royal robes. His hands numbed when Vespera entered the hall, adorned in a magnificent white gown. Her veil trailed behind her as she glided down the aisle. Her cheeks glowed. She radiated like a dying star.

Obi-Wan watched her. He imagined, for a moment, that she was walking down the aisle to marry him. His heart shriveled into the black hole of his chest. Vespera reached the pulpit and turned her back to Obi-Wan. He choked on the thick air in his throat.

He was afraid he might cry out and object to the wedding. He was scared he would abandon his duty as a Jedi. He was here to protect Vespera, not declare his love and run away with her. He clenched his teeth. He never uttered a word. Instead, he watched as the woman he loved married another man.

…

"Senators, I'm afraid that a charity of this magnitude would just not be possible at this time." Chancellor Palpatine sighed.

Vespera's heart sank. She exchanged a glance with Padme, who merely frowned. "Why not?"

"We simply do not have the funds for this."

"What if we achieved the funds?" Vespera queried.

"I don't see how you would." Palpatine frowned.

"Let us worry about that," said Padme, "would we be able to do it then?"

"I… I suppose." Palpatine allowed.

"Thank you for meeting with us, Chancellor." Padme dipped her head. Vespera followed suit. They left the Chancellor's office and trekked down the hall. Vespera frowned when she spotted Anakin walking toward them.

"Anakin? What are you doing here?" asked Padme, stopping in her tracks.

"Visiting the Chancellor. Jedi business." Anakin replied with a sly grin. It faltered. "Actually, I'm glad I ran into you both. Have either of you heard from Obi-Wan today?"

Vespera exchanged a glance with Padme. "No, I haven't."

"Neither have I."

"It's weird. Usually I hear from him, or he's meditating or training. But I haven't seen him around the Temple all day."

Vespera folded her arms. "Did you check his room?"

Anakin frowned. "No."

"He might be ill." Vespera dragged her teeth across her lip.

"I'll check on him later."

Vespera and Padme bade Anakin farewell and continued their trek down the corridor. Vespera clutched her chest and considered reaching out in the Force for Obi-Wan. She stopped herself. If she reopened the connection, it would only hurt them both more.

"I'm sure he's all right." Padme murmured.

"Yeah. I'm sure, too."

"Let's talk with Rye. He might be able to help us with our funding issue."

"Good idea."

…

Obi-Wan staggered into the fresher connected to his bedroom. His legs trembled, and he stooped over as he grasped the basin. He shook as nausea wracked his insides. He lifted his gaze toward the mirror and flinched. His face was ashen; sweat beaded his brow. His shoulders seemed bonier than usual, though Obi-Wan could not recall changing his diet. He looked weak.

After rinsing his face, he shuffled back to his bed. Had it been a vision? No dream had ever affected like this before. He only ever felt affected after the Force touched him. Had his nightmare of Vespera marrying Rye been a premonition? Could something terrible be about to happen?

Or, Obi-Wan considered wryly, was it just his repressed feelings manifesting themselves into a nightmare?

But a nightmare that affected him physically?

Obi-Wan sighed and laid back against the pillows. He did not think he could bear to see Vespera marry another man. But how selfish of him, to want and love her, but keep her at a distance! He had to let her go. They both had their responsibilities. They had both agreed to remain apart.

But, Obi-Wan allowed, it was nice to imagine Vespera glowing like an eclipse as she walked toward him in a white dress instead of Rye.

Someone knocked on the door to Obi-Wan's room. Obi-Wan ignored it, praying the person went away. If it were Mace Windu, or Master Yoda, they would sense something off about Obi-Wan.

"Master, I know you're in there. Open up."

Obi-Wan dragged a hand down his face. He got up and let Anakin in before lying back down. "I'm ill, Anakin."

"Ill? You never take sick days." Anakin muttered.

"Well, I am today." Obi-Wan hobbled back to his bed and sat on the edge of the mattress.

Anakin entered the room, the door sliding shut behind him. He leaned against the wall and folded his arms, eyeing Obi-Wan with a frown. "You look horrible."

"Thank you."

"Maybe you should go to the medbay."

"I'm not going to the medbay for this. I'm fine."

"You don't look fine."

"Then direct your attention elsewhere."

Anakin huffed. "Fine. Just had a meeting with the Chancellor. He doesn't trust Dorian Rushor and wants the Jedi to keep a closer eye on him. But we may not have to."

Obi-Wan raised a brow. "Why not?"

"Vespera and Padme have been working on building their charity. Dorian said he would help with the funds for it."

"That's very generous of him."

"Yeah, and Prince Rye offered to help, too."

Obi-Wan composed his features. "I'm glad they're succeeding in their efforts."

"Me too," Anakin fiddled with a knickknack on the bookshelf. "Every time I see Padme or Vespera, they're working on this charity. It's really important to them."

Obi-Wan refrained from commenting. He wanted to ask about Vespera, as he had not seen her in the past few weeks. He perfected the art of avoiding her since Manaan. She seemed content with that. Instead, he dragged a hand down his face. "Anakin, I hate to kick you out, but I really need some rest."

"Yeah. Okay," Anakin headed for the door. "I'll come by with some food later."

Obi-Wan bowed his head. "Thank you."

Anakin left and Obi-Wan laid back down, his heart racing.

…

"Thank you again for your help, Mr. Rushor." Padme said.

Dorian beamed. "It's my pleasure, Senators. You two are doing a good thing here. I'm glad to be part of it."

Vespera placed a hand on Dorian's arm. "We're glad you found it so important and wanted to help. It's a shame the Republic can't afford to do more."

"Or doesn't want to do more," Dorian muttered.

Vespera exchanged a glance with Padme, who said, "What do you mean?"

"Some don't want to help others. Some don't even want the war to end, because they're profiting from it."

Vespera's brow pinched. "I wonder if the Chancellor's intentions are as pure as we thought."

"Vez," hissed Padme, looking around, "be careful about what you say in the open."

"Sorry," Vespera muttered.

Dorian shrugged. "For the time being, I suppose it doesn't matter who profits from this war. All that matters right now is getting supplies for the relief effort."

"I can help with that," Vespera offered. "Azyrion has a surplus of food right now."

"I have friends in the medical business who might be willing to donate some supplies and workers." Dorian added.

"I can schedule which planet we'll go to first. Naboo will be happy to help, of course."

"Vespera," said a new voice.

Vespera turned to see Rye. His eyes were bloodshot. Her chest clenched. She glanced at Padme and Dorian. "I will see you both later," she dismissed. Padme and Dorian dipped their heads and left Vespera alone with Rye. "What's the matter?"

Rye cleared his throat. "My father died."

Vespera's heart plummeted. "Rye, I'm so sorry."

Rye sniffed. "I have to return to Rexomnium for funeral arrangements. I'd like you to attend the funeral, of course. And afterward, we'll need to discuss setting a date for our wedding."

Vespera nodded. "Of course. Rye, if you need anything…"

"I'm all right," Rye promised, "but thank you for your concern." He kissed her cheek before sweeping away.

Vespera touched her cheek. Tears pricked her eyes. She hurried to her apartment and buried her face in her hands. She cared for Rye, but she longed to feel Obi-Wan's prickly kiss. She slumped onto the sofa and bowed her head. Tears splashed onto her lap. She missed him, even if they couldn't be together, she missed their friendship. She missed their connection through the Force and their banter. She missed his presence. She missed him.

…

"The ceremony will take place within the palace. There will be a procession to the royal catacombs, where Prince Rye will say a few words. Then there will be a celebration in honor of the late king. The prince specifically requested your presence there." Master Windu instructed.

Obi-Wan exchanged a sidelong glance with Anakin before looking at Windu again. "We understand, Master Windu."

"Good. You leave with Senators Amidala and Stellavis within the next hour. May the Force be with you."

Obi-Wan and Anakin left the Temple and met Vespera and Padme at the ship. Vespera's eyes flicked to Obi-Wan's. He offered her a quirk of his lips. The ice in her gaze melted as she returned the brief ghost of a smile. They boarded the ship. Obi-Wan remained with Anakin while Vespera and Padme paired off. The tension between Obi-Wan and Vespera seemed lighter. The tightness in Obi-Wan's chest lessened. He reached out with the Force and felt Vespera's mind. Her wall seemed less cold and metallic. It wavered when she felt his presence. Come on, Obi-Wan thought. I can't stand this distance anymore. Vespera's mental wall crumbled. Obi-Wan's mind flooded with bittersweet warmth. The distance closed. Obi-Wan relaxed.

The flight was uneventful. Obi-Wan changed out of his Jedi robes into a suit. He felt odd, but the formal occasion called for different attire. He entered the ceremonial hall, where people paid their respects to King Jove. Obi-Wan watched Vespera, wearing a black gown with gold jewel embroidery, approach the casket. She bowed her head and then moved to Rye. She murmured words of comfort to him. He squeezed her hands in reply. Vespera took her place beside him. She looped her arm through his. Obi-Wan's stomach clenched. He swallowed the nausea. The procession left the hall after about an hour. Obi-Wan and Anakin followed along the edges, using the Force to sense anything sinister. Obi-Wan didn't get to hear Prince Rye's eulogy. The feast in honor of King Jove began immediately after.

Padme approached Obi-Wan, the corners of her mouth drawn. Obi-Wan dipped his head. "Senator."

Padme rolled her eyes at him. "Master Kenobi." Obi-Wan suppressed a smirk. Padme huffed. "Have you seen Vespera?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I'm afraid I haven't."

"She and Rye have disappeared."

A lump collected in Obi-Wan's throat. He swallowed several times to force it down. "Perhaps he needed a moment away from the crowd."

"Perhaps," said Padme. "I suppose I'm being paranoid. You don't feel anything, do you?"

"Not to worry," Obi-Wan assured her. "We have this under control."

"Yes, all two of you." Padme teased.

"I suppose they did not suspect an attack. Rye has his own men, anyway."

"I'm glad nothing has happened so far. We all need a break."

"Agreed." Obi-Wan sighed. His eyes scanned the banquet hall for Vespera or Rye, but he saw neither of them. He frowned. He reached out with the Force. He sensed Vespera was within the building and that she was safe. Her mental wall hardened against him. He blinked in surprise, but pushed aside the sharpness in his lungs.

…

"I am king, but I will not host a coronation until we are wed." Rye said.

Vespera nodded. "And when should this wedding take place?"

"That's what I brought you here to discuss."

"Well, it takes time to plan a wedding. Six months, at least."

"My people need a coronation sooner."

"Then what would you suggest?"

"One standard month," said Rye.

Vespera raised her eyebrows. Her heartbeat fluttered. "A month? I-is that enough time?"

"We can make it enough. We have the resources to rush things along."

Vespera's mouth dried. "Very well. We will be married in a month."

They left the side room and returned to the banquet hall. The chatter of the occupants seemed oddly muffled. Time seemed to slow. Her heart palpitated until it and her own breathing were all she heard. She lingered on the edge of the crowd, choking on her breath. She clutched her chest. Marrying Rye had always seemed so far away, but it was here now. How important was duty to her? She was no longer queen. How much of an alliance could she promise Rexomnium with just her powers as a Senator?

A hand on her arm brought the noise rushing back to her ears. It was as if she had been underwater and had just emerged from the depths. She blinked rapidly as movement resumed its normal speed.

"Vez? Are you all right?" Padme's voice sounded next to Vespera.

She glanced at her friend. A lie jumped to her lips, but Vespera couldn't seem to give it a voice. "I'm marrying Rye in a month."

Padme's eyebrows raised. "That's so sudden."

"I don't want to," Vespera muttered. Her breath grew short until she felt that her lungs weren't filling with air. She gasped for breath, bent over slightly. Padme looked around, her eyes wide.

"Stay right here." She wandered off but returned quickly.

"Vez? Come outside." Anakin muttered. Padme and Anakin led Vespera outside. The cold air washed over Vespera, filling her throat with ice.

"Is there anything you can do with the Force?" Padme asked. "She's having an anxiety attack."

"Yeah, I see that," said Anakin. "Obi-Wan's better at soothing."

"I'll go get him."

Vespera grabbed Padme's wrist. "No, don't."

"He could help…"

"I don't… want him to… know." Vespera wheezed.

"All right, look at me," Anakin muttered, gripping Vespera's shoulders. Vespera raised her eyes to meet Anakin's. His eyes were blue, but the wrong shade of blue. Vespera wished they were Obi-Wan's blue. "Take deep breaths. In and out, like this." Anakin demonstrated. Vespera mimicked him.

"I'll get some water." Padme left.

"Good," Anakin said to Vespera after a few moments of breathing deeply. "I'm going to try to soothe you with the Force, all right?"

Vespera nodded. Her breathing had normalized, but her heartbeat remained wild. Anakin closed his eyes. Vespera felt his presence through the Force. But his presence was overwhelming, like too-strong cologne. It choked Vespera. She built her mental wall to shut Anakin out. "Not working." she gasped.

Anakin withdrew immediately. "Obi-Wan should be the one to help."

"I'm fine."

Anakin scowled. He rubbed the back of his neck and paced for a moment. Vespera closed her eyes, struggling to calm herself. She reached out with the Force, hoping it would soothe her. She felt Anakin's overpowering presence and Obi-Wan's calming Signature. Her chest tightened.

"What happened to do this?" Anakin asked.

"Rye and I are getting married in a month."

Anakin stopped pacing. "Really? If it upsets you this much, how about you don't marry him?"

"Not that easy," Vespera gritted out.

Anakin huffed. His eyes widened. "Er, Obi-Wan."

Vespera pinched her brow, but Anakin stared over her shoulder. Vespera didn't need to turn to know Obi-Wan stood behind her. She felt his hands on her back. He walked her over to a stone bench on the balcony. They sat down.

"Look at me," Obi-Wan said softly. Vespera obeyed. Obi-Wan gripped her hands. "Take deep breaths." Vespera did as he instructed while Obi-Wan closed his eyes and reached with the Force. His presence touched Vespera's mind. She kept some of her walls, but allowed his Force Aura to calm hers. It wrapped around her like a blanket, soft and warm. Vespera's breathing normalized and her heartbeat slowed. She stopped trembling.

Padme handed her some water. Vespera accepted and took a shaky sip. She glanced at Padme and Anakin, who wore parallel, tight expressions. Vespera looked at Obi-Wan, whose brow creased. She set the cup of water down beside her.

"I'm fine now," she breathed. "Thank you."

Her neck warmed when she realized that she and Obi-Wan were still holding hands. She let go quickly. Her cheeks burned, and she lowered her head to avoid their gazes. Anakin and Padme walked away after a few seconds. Vespera sensed that Obi-Wan had something to do with it.

"What happened?" Obi-Wan murmured.

Vespera shook her head. "If I talk about it, I might… I don't want to go through that again."

Obi-Wan shifted beside her. He reached down and took her hand. Vespera stiffened and stared at their intertwined fingers. They fit well together. His hands were coarse and tickled her soft palms. "Vespera, I'm here. You don't have to talk about it. But you don't have to hide it from me. I'll always be here."

Tears burned Vespera's eyes. "I'm… I'm marrying Rye."

She felt Obi-Wan tense beside her. His hand tightened around hers. "When?"

"In a month."

Obi-Wan withdrew his hand. Vespera's felt cold without it. "We don't want to give anyone the wrong idea."

Part of Vespera wanted to say fuck that. Who cared if someone saw? But she could never ask Obi-Wan to risk his devotion to the Jedi for her.

Vespera stood and faced Obi-Wan. "Thank you for your help."

Obi-Wan's eyes softened. "Of course."

Vespera turned away, her heart aching. She rejoined the others in the banquet hall and took her place beside Rye as his beloved.

…

Obi-Wan collapsed onto his bed once they returned to the Temple after the funeral. He stared up at the ceiling, feeling as if a slab of granite weighed on his chest. He pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut, warding his headache away. He sighed and pushed off his bed. It was late; most of the other Jedi would be asleep. Not even some of the cantinas would be open. Obi-Wan crept to the Room of a Thousand Fountains to meditate. He sat on the floor cross-legged and closed his eyes. He reached out with the Force and focused on his breathing.

"Satine!" Obi-Wan held her in his arms. He gripped her weak hand, his heart twisting sharply in his chest.

Satine's eyes fluttered as she looked up at him. Obi-Wan tried to ignore the gaping hole in her abdomen. "Remember, my dear Obi-Wan," Satine murmured, the words flowing thick from her mouth as blood surged into her throat, "I've always loved you. I always will." She closed her and eyes and went limp in his arms. Tears blinded him. He bowed his head and kissed her hand.

"Obi-Wan!"

Obi-Wan jerked his head up to see Vespera reaching out to him. He jumped to his feet. "Vespera!"

Maul appeared and grabbed Vespera by the throat. He sneered at Obi-Wan. "She's mine."

Obi-Wan dropped to his knees as they disappeared.

Satine appeared beside him. "Don't repeat your mistakes, Obi."

Vespera appeared, only it wasn't Vespera. Her eyes glittered with the gold of the dark side. Darkness shadowed her face and traced her veins like poison. She wore a wedding dress and walked down the aisle to be joined with King Rye. Obi-Wan's heart raced.

Vespera turned, staring directly at him. She withdrew a double-bladed red lightsaber. She twirled it around and pointed one end at Obi-Wan. "You failed."

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, tears slipping past his lashes as Vespera raised her blade to strike him down.

"Master?" Anakin's voice jolted Obi-Wan awake.

Heat curled up Obi-Wan's neck when he realized he was lying on the floor of the Room of a Thousand Fountains. He must've fallen asleep as he meditated. He pushed himself up, his joints cracking. He rolled his head around, stretching out the tension in his neck with a grimace.

"I can see you were, er, really focused on meditating." Anakin grinned.

Obi-Wan glowered. "I fell asleep."

"Obviously."

"While meditating."

"Uh-huh."

"I…" Obi-Wan swallowed. "I had… I think it was a vision, but it could've been a dream."

Anakin frowned. "What did you see?"

Obi-Wan stood and folded his arms. "I saw Maul."

Anakin's eyes widened. "Is he back?"

"I'm not sure," Obi-Wan muttered. "I saw Vespera, too."

Anakin's panic vanished. A grin toyed with his lips. "Then it was probably just a dream."

"It didn't feel like a dream," Obi-Wan protested. "And I saw her turn to the dark side."

Anakin's humor faded. "Oh. Er, do you think she's in danger of that? She's not even a Jedi."

Obi-Wan stroked his beard. "I don't know. She seems in control of her emotions and passions, and she's a good person. I don't think it's in her to do that."

"I think she could, if she had a reason," Anakin lowered his gaze as Obi-Wan regarded him. "You saw what she was willing to do to save her planet. She would do anything to save or protect the things she cares about."

Obi-Wan's stomach lurched. Anakin was right. "Perhaps I should talk to her."

"That might be a good idea," agreed Anakin. "Or, at least make sure she's okay."

"I will." Obi-Wan assured his former Padawan. He strode off and took a speeder to the Senate. Vespera was not in her apartment, so Obi-Wan retreated to the lower levels of the building. Obi-Wan wandered around, asking a few Senators if they had seen Vespera. He talked to Bail Organa for a few minutes before continuing his search. A frown puckered his brow when he spotted Dorian Rushor lingering in one of the hallways.

"General Kenobi," greeted Dorian with a white smile.

Obi-Wan dipped his head and slowed his pace to a stop. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"I'm waiting for Vespera and Senator Amidala to finish signing a contract for the charity."

Obi-Wan reached out with the Force. Sure enough, he felt Vespera's presence in the other room. He withdrew and peered at Dorian. "It's a very generous thing you're doing, helping them with this."

Dorian shrugged. "I have a lot of money not going to good use. I'm happy to help them. Between you and me, I like getting to hang around Vez."

Obi-Wan bristled at the use of his nickname for Vespera. He clenched his teeth but recovered. "She's betrothed to Prince Rye."

"I know," said Dorian, grinning sheepishly. "But I can admire her from afar."

Obi-Wan folded his arms. "I suppose."

"Don't wanna incriminate yourself, I see."

Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

"You're not agreeing that she's a remarkable woman." Dorian pressed.

Obi-Wan shifted. "I know she is." He sensed something off about this man. Something… slimy.

"Relax, friend," Dorian clapped Obi-Wan on the back, "it's all good fun."

Obi-Wan clenched his teeth. He stiffened when Vespera and Padme exited the room. Vespera's eyes widened when she noticed Obi-Wan. "Obi," she greeted. Obi-Wan relaxed slightly. "This is a surprise."

Obi-Wan opened his mouth, but he suddenly felt silly in front of Dorian. "I was…" Obi-Wan trailed off, wracking his brain for a lie. "I was looking for Prince Rye."

Padme raised a brow. "He's still on Rexomnium."

Obi-Wan pursed his lips as heat prickled his face. "Of course."

"Are you all right?" Vespera asked, her forehead tight.

Obi-Wan braved a smile. "Yes. Just lacking sleep, I suppose."

"You should get some rest, then." said Dorian.

"You do look tired." Padme agreed.

Vespera eyed Obi-Wan with a shadowed expression. Obi-Wan knew she had not bought his lie. He backed away. "I'll do that." He turned away, shaking his head at himself. He could still feel Vespera's eyes on him as he walked away.

He returned to the Temple and laid down on his bed. He closed his eyes for a quick nap. He'd talk to Vespera later, when she wasn't being shadowed by Dorian.

"Obi-Wan," Vespera breathed.

He looked at her. She wore a wedding gown and veil. "Vespera."

"Why didn't you stop me?" Vespera's eyes shined with tears.

Obi-Wan frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You didn't stop me from marrying him. Why?" Vespera closed her eyes. When she opened them, they glinted gold. "Why?" She screamed at him.

Obi-Wan backed away, his mouth falling open. "Vez…"

"Don't call me that!"

"Vespera, we… I'm sorry!"

"You could've saved me. Why didn't you save me?"

"Save you from what?"

"I loved you. I'd do anything for you. You didn't stop me."

Obi-Wan reached for her. "Loved?"

Vespera lifted her gaze. "You told me not to love you anymore. I obeyed."

Obi-Wan choked. "Vespera, no. Sweetheart, please, I love you. Don't turn. Don't… Please, don't stop loving me."

Vespera shook her head. "You've hurt me too much."

"I'm sorry." Obi-Wan cupped her face in his hands. "I love you."

Vespera closed her eyes as tears slid down her cheeks. "You have to save me."

"Save you from what?"

When Vespera opened her eyes, they were their normal, brilliant green. "Obi." She whispered. Her eyes fluttered shut. She leaned in, her lips parted. Obi-Wan closed his eyes and met her lips with his. Their kiss began slow, but intensified with each passing second. Vespera's hands fiddled with Obi-Wan's clothes. He knew he should stop, but there were some things that he would leave the Jedi for, and Vespera was one of them. He let her undress him. He slipped her gown off and let his hands roam down her sides. He gazed at her, from her lightning scar on her side, to her breasts, her collarbone, her throat and to her face.

"Beautiful." he breathed.

Vespera smiled and leaned down to capture his lips with hers.

Obi-Wan jerked awake. His skin was clammy. He felt warmth in his neck, face and in other areas that reddened his cheeks more. He pushed away from his bed and entered the fresher. He turned on the hot water and undressed. He stepped into the shower. Despite the physical nature of his dream -he still felt his palms prickle at the thought of it -he knew it had some other meaning to it. He knew he'd leave the Jedi for Vespera. He would never force her to make him leave. Perhaps he could do as Anakin and Padme poorly tried to hide. It had worked for them so far, especially with Obi-Wan turning a blind eye to them.

After showering, he dressed and returned to the Senate building. His heart raced as he approached the door to Vespera's apartment. He considered fleeing before Vespera answered the door. Had he gone completely mad?

The door slid open before Obi-Wan could decide. Vespera widened her eyes. "Obi? Are you all right? You look… tired."

"Well, I did sleep on a stone floor last night, so that probably has something to do with it." said Obi-Wan cheerfully.

Vespera lifted a brow. "You slept…?" She shook her head. "Come in." She stepped aside to allow Obi-Wan access into her apartment. He entered, his stomach churning. His hands shook but he tried to maintain the bounce in his step. He didn't know if he was just tired or if he had lost his mind. Perhaps both.

"Why don't you sit?" Vespera offered, gesturing to one of the sofas. Obi-Wan obliged. "Tea?"

Obi-Wan laved his fingers together. He wanted to say no, but he figured the tea might help calm him. He nodded. "Please."

Vespera left momentarily and then returned with tea. She sat across from him and eyed him as he sipped from his cup. He lifted a brow. "Are you just going to stare at me? It's a bit disconcerting."

One corner of Vespera's mouth twitched as she tilted her head. "You show up to my door in the middle of the night looking as if you haven't slept properly, and my behavior is disconcerting?"

Obi-Wan managed a small smile. His hands shook, rattling his teacup. Vespera eyed it, the corners of her mouth drawing. Obi-Wan set the cup down on the table in between the sofas. "I wanted to check on you."

Vespera's brow pinched. "Why?"

Obi-Wan sighed. "Do I really need to remind you about what happened at King Jove's funeral?"

Vespera averted his gaze. "I'm fine."

"You didn't seem fine then."

"I wasn't," Vespera admitted.

"So how are you fine now?"

Vespera opened her mouth but stopped short. Her posture stiffened as her eyes flicked to the ceiling before meeting Obi-Wan's. "I'm not, if you must know. But neither are you. You were ill last week and last night you slept on the floor. You're never ill. And why in the universe would you sleep on the floor?"

Obi-Wan's stomach felt heavy. He sighed. "I've been having nightmares. I know dreams pass in time, but these feel different. The Force seems to be conveying a message through them, like a warning. But whatever the Force is trying to tell me, it's vague."

Vespera folded her hands. "What's happening in these dreams?"

Obi-Wan cleared his throat. His mouth dried. "A great number of things that are all just as disconcerting as the last."

Vespera tensed. "Is it about me?"

Obi-Wan nodded. "I keep having dreams related to you…" He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes. "Turning to the dark side."

"Oh." Vespera muttered quietly. Obi-Wan looked at her. Her eyes zeroed in on his partially drunk tea. She seemed lost in thought as she dragged her teeth across her lip.

Obi-Wan jumped to his feet and turned his back to her. "That's not all." He folded his arms. Vespera remained silent, waiting for him to continue. He sucked in a shuddering breath. "I dream of Satine, of Maul but mostly of you."

"Maul?" Vespera queried.

Obi-Wan frowned. He dared not look back at her. "The Sith who killed my Master and Satine."

"Obi-Wan..." Vespera murmured.

Obi-Wan squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his fists. "I dreamt that Maul took you. Satine told me not to repeat my past mistakes. And then you…" Obi-Wan's eyes flashed open. They burned with tears. "Your eyes were gold. Your veins were black… You weren't you. You wore a wedding gown."

"A wedding gown?"

"All of the dreams are associated with you in a wedding gown. Either it starts with you marrying Rye, or it ends with you marrying him. And I just watch. All I do is watch you marry him, and I do nothing about it. And these dreams leave me feeling sick." Obi-Wan trembled.

"Are you sure these dreams are not just associated with your suppressed feelings?" Vespera asked.

Obi-Wan's shoulders slumped. He dropped his arms from their fold across his chest. "I considered that. But with Maul and Satine and the Dark Side… It feels like these dreams are more, too."

"I'm not sure I quite understand why you're telling me this. Are you worried that I will turn to the Dark Side?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I'm worried the Dark Side is threatening you in some way, or will."

"Do you miss Satine?"

"Every day."

Vespera huffed. "I don't know what to tell you, Obi. I don't know what you're telling me. You seem to have deciphered these dreams for yourself."

Obi-Wan lowered his chin to his chest. His hands went limp at his sides as nausea riddled his stomach. He swallowed painfully. "I… You're right. I came here for another reason." He trembled but turned to face her. A lock of hair had fallen into his face, but he ignored it. He raised his eyes to meet hers. "I don't want you to marry Prince Rye."

Vespera stiffened. "Obi, don't."

"I can't suppress this anymore. I tried being the perfect Jedi, but I can't. I know I'm not the best at emotional declarations and expressions, but… Vespera, I don't want you to marry him. I don't think I could endure it if you did." Obi-Wan said hoarsely. He met Vespera's gaze. She touched her parted lips.

"And what am I to do, then? Break off an engagement that you encouraged me to accept? You pushed me away, Obi-Wan. What am I supposed to do?"

Obi-Wan's chest tightened. "Do you… Do you not feel the same?"

Vespera scoffed. "Of course I feel the same! Obi-Wan, I couldn't breathe the other night because I don't want to marry Rye, either! But I will never ask you to leave the Order for me. I don't even want to ask you to love me in secret."

"I already do." Obi-Wan murmured. He closed his eyes. "I won't stop loving you. I can't. I already love you from afar and in secret. I'm not asking you to stop it. I'm not asking you to not marry him." He sighed and looked at her. "I told you, I'm no good at this sort of thing. I'm trying to say that I love you and I was wrong for pushing you away."

Vespera's eyes sparkled with tears. "I can't ask you to risk the Jedi for me."

"You don't have to," Obi-Wan murmured, stepping closer to her. "I won't lie, this terrifies me. But the thought of you thinking that I don't love you terrifies me more."

Vespera tilted her head. "Obi… What are we going to do?"

Obi-Wan closed the distance between them and cupped her neck with his hand. "I don't know. We don't have to do anything. I just… I wanted you to know."

Vespera closed her eyes. Tears slid down her cheeks. "I love you, Obi."

"I love you, too."

Vespera touched her lips to his. Obi-Wan responded in kind. For once, his rattled mind settled. The Force calmed. He didn't care that once he left Vespera's apartment, he would have to face the Jedi and take care of his responsibilities. He didn't know where this would lead, just as long Vespera was part of it.

…

Hey guys, I know it's been a million years since I posted. I've just been really bogged down lately, but I finally got some writing done. I won't be surprised if a lot of you have stopped following this story, but for those of you who are still here, I haven't forgotten about Obi-Wan and Vespera!

Coming Soon: Obi-Wan has a conversation with Rye while Padme, Vespera and Dorian work on their relief efforts for the war. Obi-Wan finds that he might have something else to fight for.