Authors Note: The dinner continues. Chapter One has had an update.
Disclaimer I do not own Big Bang, all I have is the story.
He wondered if loving Penny was going to be enough to fix his family or did he have to lose Penny to keep Anna safe. He was confused.
"Sheldon what you thinking" Penny asked softly so not to be heard by Ruby and Anna.
"Penny I love you, you know that, but I find myself a little unsure" Sheldon said trying not to look into Penny's eyes as he said this. He needed to be truthful with her and he knew that if he looked into her eyes at this moment, he would melt and not be as strong as he needed to be.
Penny cupped his chin and raised his eyes to meet hers "Sheldon I understand that you cannot trust me, I hurt you, abandoned you and left you to raise a child on your own"
"Yes but Penny it is more than that, you were the only woman outside my family that I ever opened up to, I revealed myself to you and you rejected me" Sheldon said as he felt his heart break from the pain.
Penny looked at Sheldon for a moment, wanting to fix all the pain she could see in his eyes "Sheldon I was a selfish fool, I did not reject you, I would never reject you" She said taking his hand in hers. "I was, how should I put this, undeserving of your love, I wanted to please you so much that I felt like I was failing you, I saw my mother in me and I freaked out."
"Penny I want you to be in my life again but I am afraid of the hurt when you leave again" Sheldon said lowering his eyes.
"Sheldon, I will not make a promise I may fail to keep, but it is not my desire to ever leave you again." Penny replied, "Sheldon, there is something we need to do, I have a person I see once a week, to help me, I believe that we as a family, you and me as a couple need to see her"
"You know Penny what I think of counselling" Sheldon replied "But as I am willing to do anything for Anna to have her mother back and as a result have my wife return, I will attend, what is her name."
"Doctor Louise Wallace" Penny replied, "She is very good, she has helped me a lot over the past 5 months, it was your mother who arranged for me to see her."
"My mother "he replied not sure what to think of that.
"Yes, Sheldon, your mother, without her I would have lost everything, without her I would not have made it this far, she loves you and Anna so much and she loves me her wayward daughter in law as well."
"Interesting"
At that moments Marie came back to the table and they all gave her their meal orders for the night, Penny looked around as Anna and Sheldon talked about her day at school, as Ruby checked out the actor from the cop series on NBC.
She had a chance to fix the mess that she had made, she knew that getting Sheldon to agree to see the counsellor was a good start, she just hoped when she and Anna were in session she could deal with the anger that was sure to come out. Louise had said that Anna will need to say how she feels and from the taste she got today, it was not going to be pretty.
Penny thought back to her first day of counselling.
"Welcome Mrs Cooper" Dr Wallace said, "My name is Louise, your mother in law asked if you could see me?"
"Yes, my name is Penny Anne Queen Cooper, but Penny will do, I am not sure what to expect" Penny said looking around the room for someplace to hide.
"Well today we are just going to have a general chat, think of it as you telling me about yourself, and what is going on in your life" Louise said trying to help Penny relax a little.
"Well I am an actress, quite successful, I am from Nebraska, have a brother and a sister, I am married to a wonderful man, who I left four and half years ago" Penny stated.
"Missing something out there" Louise prompted.
"Missing?" Penny said staring at the Doctor not understanding.
"There is more is there not" Louise said hoping that Penny would realise her omission.
"Oh yeah I have a daughter who would be about 5 now, I have not seen her since I ran away"
"What's her name" Dr Wallace asked gently pushing Penny to say more.
"Anna Louise Cooper" Penny said.
"Good middle name" Louise laughed.
"Yes" Penny said looking around the office, "a very good name"
"Shame about her mother though" Louise pushed "Ran away, abandoned her"
"What!" Penny exclaimed suddenly turning to face the Doctor.
"I was just saying what you were thinking Penny" Doctor Wallace said getting a little serious.
"Yeah well it is true, her mother left to seek fame and fortune and got it as well, traded the love of her daughter for nothing" Penny said putting her hands over her face.
"Penny can I ask you about your relationship with your mother" Louise asked moving to sit next to Penny.
"I guess so" Penny said not sure where the Doc was going with this.
"I take it that you and your mother do not have a real happy relationship" Louise asked.
Penny thought for a moment, "I guess you could say that we never got along, I mean we talked but nothing personal, she kind of was hard on me, she never praised me or told me she love me."
"So would you say that you do not know what a mother – daughter relationship is supposed to be like" Doctor Wallace asked, "Therefore do you know what type of relationship you should have with your daughter."
"I do not know, Doc, I mean I suppose I am to look after her, discipline her, help her all those things" Penny answered.
"Well what about love her" Louise asked, "Do you know how to love her."
"What are you suggesting I do not know how to love my daughter. "Penny said getting a little upset.
"I am saying that since you did not have a natural or normal relationship with your mother then you were never able to have one with Anna." Doctor Wallace said, waiting for Penny's anger to get the better of her.
Penny fought so hard not to get angry but she found that it just came out like a flood. "ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT I AM INCAPABLE OF LOVING MY DAUGHTER THAT IS BULLSHIT, I CAN LOVE MY DAUGHTER, AND I AM NOT MY MOTHER?"
"In fact I am saying is you have no idea how to love her, otherwise you would never have chosen your career over her." Doctor Wallace said, "That is enough for today, Penny, I want you to think about what I just said, come back tomorrow same time and we discuss it."
"What you are just cutting me off here." Penny asked curtly.
"Yes on purpose, I want to see if you can prove to yourself that you love your daughter. "Doctor Wallace said as she walked Penny to the door, "I am not here to make it easier for you to act your way through this, I am going to make face these things Penny, whether you like it or not."
"Ok Doc but I am not sure I am going to get through this" Penny said.
"You will, it will take time" Louise said as she let her out the door.
"What you reckon Pen" Ruby said startling Penny out of her flashback.
"What!"
"That guy over there what's his name" Ruby said indicating to the blond hair actor sitting with the other man eating dinner.
"Neil Patrick Harris" Penny said.
"Yes, do you think I have a chance with him" Ruby said checking him out.
"Rubs, he is gay" Penny chuckled to herself.
"Damn, he's cute" Ruby said looking around to check out the other men in the room.
"Mother" Anna said.
"Yes Anna" Penny said turning to look at Anna.
"Are we going to see a doctor about being a family again" Anna asked as she played with her napkin.
"Yes if you agree to" Penny looking at Sheldon who just smiled back and indicated she should continue the conversation with Anna.
"I do not understand why we need to see a Doctor to become a family again" Anna frowned, "You and Daddy moved in together in your house and we become a family simple".
"Anna it is not as simple as that" Penny said putting her hand on top of Anna's.
"Why not" Anna replied placing her other one on her father's hand.
"Well, you see there are things that need to be fixed, between your father and me, between you and me, we cannot ignore them or they will hurt our family".
"So the Doctor will make our family healthy again" Anna said breaking into a smile.
"Yes that is one way of putting it "Penny replied looking to Sheldon for help.
"Anna" Sheldon said looking at his daughter" Mummy needs us to help her fix our family, while what happened was not your fault."
"No Anna nothing that happened was your fault." Penny said to support Sheldon.
"Then why did Mommy leave, Dad is a good man, a loving man, it had to be me that caused you to leave."
"No sweetie, it was not you" Penny said trying not to cry.
"Then why?" Anna asked.
"Because your mom is a moron Kid" Ruby interjected.
"My mom is not a moron, Aunty Ruby" Anna snapped "She is my mother, please say sorry now".
"Sorry" Ruby replied
At that moment Marie and another waitress returned with the food, after thanking them, they went to commence eating when Anna said, "No eating must say grace".
"Grace" Penny said looking to Sheldon who smirked.
"Yes Meemaw Mary said that we must thank God for all our meals" Anna said "Dad does it now because Meemaw asks me when she visits if he is saying grace before meals."
Penny looked at Sheldon, who rolled his eyes.
"My mother has insisted that I must ensure my daughter is brought up like I was, while I find the whole idea pointless, it would seem my daughter has a desire therefore I now say grace".
"Onya Mary" Ruby said "About time someone brought God into this relationship."
Penny looked at Ruby who just grinned back "Okay Anna would you like to say grace"
"Yes please" Anna said as everyone at the table bowed their heads, "Dear Jesus, thank you for the meal today and thank you for bringing back my mommy to me and Daddy, Amen".
"Amen" everyone else said.
"Ok let's eat" Penny said using her napkin to wipe away a tear at what her daughter had said.
Silence fell across the table for a while as they all began to eat. Penny could not help thinking that this was getting better every minute. They were a family at least to the outside world, she hoped that the image would become a reality too.