Disclaimer: I do not own Rolling Rock Beer or U-Haul, just so you know.
Blood Rose Chapter 14:
Remus was out driving in the middle in desert. He was getting extremely desperate until he noticed a sign: "December 15 iles, next exit."
"Well we're almost home, the kids should be at least happy about this." Remus said.
"In that case let's celebrate!" Knives said as he reached for his bag.
"What are you doing?" Remus said.
"Having a couple of brewskys, you want some?" Knives asked.
"No I can't, I'm driving!" Remus replied.
"Aw come on, there's no cop in 15 iles to tell us shit and arrest us." Knives added.
"And I say no, look Knives I have one point left on my license and I don't need a DUI charge to take that away." Remus explained.
"Well if you were that concerned about your license you wouldn't have drove the way you did back in New Vegas, am I right? Look there is no cop okay, come on, for old time's sake, please?" Knives asked nicely.
Remus thought about it then looked out both windows. He grabbed the beer and opened. He started drinking the whole bottle then picked up another one.
"That's the spirit my friend! So how does it feel to live life on the edge again?" Knives asked.
"It feels great!" Remus replied happily.
45 minutes later...
"And I knew my boss Bill Cosby was up to bust my balls for no apparent reason, cause he always talked shit about how I didn't do crap around the office and I said to him hey, you sit down and shut your mouth. I do more work around here than you do and you have the right to condescend to me about how I don't do anything around here, while you sit here watching porn in the office and then sending it to all of your employees and blaming them and accusing them of slacking off on the job and doing things they weren't supposed to do while I have to clean up your fucking mess, well that's it, either you give me the raise or I'll go to your superiors and tell them what you have been doing because I have the evidence to get you fired from your job." Remus said drunkenly.
"And what happened after that man, surely you must've gotten a raise if you confronted him like that, heh, heh, heh, heh." Knives said as he was chuckling drunkenly.
"I got fired." Remus replied.
"Man that sucks, but you know what, were're famous and you my friend don't have to take shit from anyone, anymore!" Knives said.
"That's right we're men! WE ARE MEN!" Remus shouted.
"WE ARE MEN!!" WE ARE MEN, WE ARE MEN!!" They both chanted.
As they were both cheering they heard a siren behind them. Remus gave Knives an angry look.
"I thought you said there weren't any cops around here Knives! What the hell happened?!" Remus shouted.
"Ok, ok, everything's cool man, I've got this all firgued out, alls we gotta do is run away, no wait, uh, let's just pull over and explain the situation while we have pennies in our mouths to pass the breathalizer test." Knives said.
"Are you retarded!? That's not going to work!" Remus said.
"Do you have any better ideas?" Knives asked.
Remus pulled over and turned off the engine, both men quickly put pennies in their mouths and waited for the officer to approach them.
"Good Afternoon gentlemen, mind if I see your license and registration please?" He asked.
"Sure." Remus said as he pulled out his wallet and gave the license to the patrolmen.
The Patrolmen examined the licsense and gave it to Remus he then took out a notepad and a pencil.
"Mind if I ask you a few questions?" He asked.
"No." Knives said.
"Where are you headed?" He asked.
"To December." Remus said.
"We live there." Knives said.
"Mind to step outside and take a breathalizer test?" He asked.
"No not at all!" Knives said with a smile.
The man took out a breathalizer contraption and made Knives breathe into it first. Then he took down notes, then made Remus breathe into it.
"Gentlemen, you were both driving under the influence of alchol. The results are positive and you will be fined for this not only that but I'm going to have to take you downtown." He said.
"Uncle Knives!" Rose shouted.
"Shut Up! They'll find us!" Lenn said.
"Too late." Maria said as the cop opened the door.
"Are you smuggling underage immigrants into this town?!" The cop asked both men.
"NO! They're movers we're U-Haul, the moving company!" Remus said.
"Oh, wait a minute, that girl with the black hair and the red streaks, isn't she Blood Rose, the daughter of Vash The Stampede?" The cop said.
"In the flesh, you caught me are you here to arrest me?" Rose asked.
"No, I want your autograph!" The cop said.
"Huh?" Everyone else said.
"Ok, but you have to let go of Remus and my Uncle Knives." Rose said.
"Deal! Oh, but could you please sign my ass?" He asked.
"Sure!" Rose said.
She signed the cop's ass and then he let them go on their way. Jake and Maria decided to sit up and drive the rest of the way there.
"Boy, we were lucky." Grey said.
"Rose, do me a favor, the next time someone asks for your autograph on their ass, please don't do it." Lenn said.