Chapter 13:
"Every time we separated I almost lost you," She said quietly, fear and determination filling her. "I'm not going anywhere."
He groaned in frustration. "Rose Tyler, you will be the death of me."
She rolled her eyes. "Seems to me I was the reason you didn't die the last time around."
He glared at her direction, even though he knew she couldn't see it. "You need to go home, Rose. If I can, I'll come find you, but you need to be safe."
"No," She insisted. "And there's nothing you can do to make me go. Not this time around," She added, remembering how he tricked her when the Daleks attacked satellite five.
He sighed quietly. "Rose," He whispered, hoping she was the only one who could hear him, "If something happens to you, I don't know what I'm gonna end up doing." His fear was so strong now that he could barely feel anything else. "The only place I know you'll be safe is back on Earth."
She snorted. "That worked out rather well."
He rolled his eyes. "How was I supposed to know you humans would do something as stupid as trying to get into the Void?" He retorted. Lowering his look, he added quietly, "Believe me, if I'd have known I was gonna lose you that day…"
"I know," She said softly, gently cupping his cheeks. He looked up at her, hope and pain mixing in his brown eyes. She pulled him to her for a long, loving kiss, silently reminding him they were together now. "It's over," She added when they separated.
"Yeah." He gently kissed her wrist before playing the memories.
"How do you think I'm feeling?" She retorted quietly, her voice suddenly filled with fear and pain. "I can't leave you here like that and spend the rest of my life wondering whether you're alive or not."
"I'll come to you-"
"No means no, Doctor."
He groaned in frustration once again. "For once, could you just do as I say?"
"Not if it means leaving you." She looked at where she thought he was standing, even though she couldn't really see him. "Please, Doctor," Her tone turned quieter and more begging. "I thought I'd lost you so many times… Don't force me to go through that again."
"You haven't lost me, Rose," He said softly, pulling her closer to him until he was hugging her. He wasn't sure how to say she could never lose him; that he'd always come back to her. "You're more important to me than anyone else. But that's why I need you to go. I need to know that you're safe and happy."
She shook her head against his shoulder and it took him a moment to realise she was crying. "I can't be happy without you," She whispered, unsure if she even wanted him to hear it or not.
Nevertheless, he heard. His hearts filled with happiness before breaking altogether; knowing she felt the same way he did was the best thing he could have wished for, but knowing they had to separate tore him apart.
"Oh, Rose," He whispered, "I won't ever leave you. I thought you knew that by now. I'd rather watch you die of old age in my arms than leave you behind."
"Would you, though?" She whispered back, her voice filled with uncertainty and vulnerability.
He pulled back and cupped her cheeks. "How can you even ask that?" He asked quietly before gently pressing his lips against her forehead.
"I've met Sarah Jane," She reminded him.
He shook his head. "You're not Sarah Jane. Not even in the slightest. Sarah Jane was a friend, nothing more."
She looked up at him, and somehow, her green-brown eyes met his brown ones. "Then what am I?"
Somewhere in the back of his mind he was wondering how come they could suddenly see each other. He was wondering where that dim light came from and where the creatures disappeared to. He was wondering where they were and why the room – they could now see it was a large room, with sand floor – was there in the first place. But that was all in the back of his mind, where he couldn't care less about in that moment.
How could she even ask that? He wondered before pulling her to him and kissing her gently, letting go of all his inner doubts and fears.
She kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him closer. She couldn't believe it was really happening, but at the same time she found herself wondering how they could resist it for so long when it was always there.
As she and the Doctor kissed in their memories, the Doctor pulled her closer and kissed her, his fingers going through her hair and over her neck and cheeks. It was as if he was mimicking the memories, trying to match them, almost. She lay back down, pulling him after her until he was lying on top of her, holding himself above her carefully, so he wouldn't be hurting her.
Neither of them was certain now where the memories ended and the present began, but neither of them minded. The feeling of finally being together and knowing it; being connected in mind and body and spirit, the way they wanted to be for so long; admitting everything they knew they felt for each other; it was even more amazing than experiencing their child being conceived.
Not that they forgot it, of course; but the memories were going to stay there forever, and the present, where their hands and lips were looking for every piece of warm skin they haven't touched yet and their bodies were burning, aching to be as close to one another as possible, was right there and then.
As the memory-Doctor kissed memory-her deeply, the Doctor pressed his forehead against hers, his eyes closed and his breathing faster than she's ever seen it. She didn't hesitate before pulling him down to her, kissing him softly as she wrapped her legs around him. He kissed her back, breathing out her name just as the memory-Doctor did, filling her heart with his happiness and love. Gently running her hands through his hair, she communicated her own love to him, and he chuckled happily against her neck before kissing it lightly.
"Oh, Rose," He mumbled as he buried his face in her neck. She hummed in response, again running her hands through his hair. She'd lost track of the amount of times she'd done that during that night; the amount of times she moaned his name when he touched her, as if he was worshipping her as a goddess. "How could we go so long without doing that?"
She giggled. "Don't ask me."
He grinned and then lay down next to her, pulling her to him. She smiled as she rested her head against his bare chest, listening to the slow, calm beatings of his hearts. He held her as closely as he could, his fingers gently stroking her side, as he whispered, "Get some sleep."
"Okay." She closed her eyes, still smiling. "You too."
"Sure." He gently kissed the top of her head, silently promising her he'll stay there with her.
When the Doctor felt Rose falling asleep in his arms, he smiled to himself. Whatever the creatures wanted meant nothing to him now that he had his Rose. But remembering the creatures needed him desperately enough to kidnap him, he suddenly realised how odd everything that had just happened was.
"What do you want from me?" He whispered, trying not to wake Rose up.
No one replied for a long moment, but he could have sworn that right before he fell asleep he heard one of them say, "It is done."
Rose woke up in the morning to the feeling of a naked body pressed against hers, his limbs all mingled with hers. Slowly, as the memories of the night before filled her mind, she smiled to herself and turned around to face the man holding her.
He seemed peaceful in a way she'd never seen before, and it made her heart swell up with love. He was sleeping – really sleeping, something she'd rarely seen him do. He was so beautiful like that.
Beautiful? She could have sworn she'd heard him ask.
She frowned. She could have sworn he was asleep. But then, she could have sworn it was his voice…
Well, of course it's me. He sounded cheerful. Who else would that be?
"Doctor?" She mumbled, her fingers gently touching his lips. He moved slightly, but didn't open his eyes. "Doctor, is that you?"
It seemed as if her worried, confused tone was the thing that woke him up, and not her words or her touch. He opened his eyes slowly, a smile spreading over his lips as he saw her there, lying next to him. His smile disappeared the moment he saw the look on her face.
"What's wrong?" He asked quietly, cupping her cheek.
She looked at him quietly for a long moment before mumbling, "You were talking, but I could have sworn you weren't…"
At first he seemed confused. Then, to her surprise, he laughed quietly. A sense of relief filled her, even though she couldn't tell where it came from. Noticing how confused she felt, he stopped laughing.
"Do you remember what I said about how whatever we're going to see will be slightly different than what you know?" He asked. Still frowning, she nodded. "What I meant was… Time Lords don't, um, do that-" He blushed slightly, "-Unless, um… well, unless we truly love each other. You know we're telepathic beings, right?" She nodded once again. "Well, for us, making love to one another," He was still blushing, even though it seemed he felt more comfortable with that description, "It lets us create a telepathic link. Bond, so to speak. So when that happens, we come together in mind and… um, body," He completed eventually as he saw her frowning again. "Rose?"
"What… What exactly does that mean?" She asked, still frowning. He sensed her trying to reach out to him mentally, as if she thought it wasn't real. "What is it?"
He smiled softly and met her mental ray with his own. Her eyes widened in surprise, but instead of letting go like she did, he pulled her to him, opening parts of his mind to her.
"It takes time," He said quietly. "But when the bond is established, we'll be able to share thoughts and feeling and memories, no matter where we are in time and space."
"Like we did last night?"
"Like we did last night," He confirmed. Hesitantly he added, "I know I should have warned you about that, but-"
She shook her head and gently placed a finger against his lips, cutting him off. "It's okay. I was just surprised." Her fingers touched his chest, feeling his hearts beating, as her eyes held his. "I'd like that," She said simply, honesty in her eyes and voice.
He breathed out – partly in relief – and kissed her gently. "I've only ever had one partner," He said, taking both of her hands with his, "And I would be honoured to have you bonded to me as another one."
She smiled and nodded. "So how long does that take?"
He shrugged. "Depends on the Time Lords. Depends of their feelings. I don't think anyone's ever done that with a human," He added, remembering how much the Gallifreyans tried to minimise their contact with the humans, "Except for Susan maybe, but-"
"Susan?" She inquired quietly.
His eyes filled with pain as he nodded silently. "I told you…" His voice nearly broke, but he cleared his throat and continued. "I told you my granddaughter was the first to travel with me." She nodded in understanding. "She loved Earth. She chose to stay there with the man she loved."
"Kinda like we are," She said softly.
He nodded. "Kinda like we are," He agreed. "I don't know if she ever bonded with him – the Time Lords didn't even believe it was possible – but…"
"Do you think it's possible?"
He grinned at her. "I think we already know the answer to that, don't we?"
She laughed quietly and then moved back closer to him. He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her closely.
"It'll just take some time," He added. "You're not a telepath, and I'm guessing the TARDIS made contact with you, and not the other way around." She nodded, blushing slightly. "It takes some time to master it, but I know you'll manage." He hesitated before adding, "I always thought someday I'll have the courage to tell you how I feel… I just never thought it'd happen that way."
"Me neither. But at least it happened."
He gently pressed his lips against the top of her head. "Do you want-?"
"Mum!"
The Doctor groaned as she pulled back hurriedly and got up. "I'll be right there," She called back, looking for her clothes. "Is everything alright?"
"I'm hungry."
"Let the TARDIS make him breakfast," The Doctor mumbled to her, trying to pull her back to her bed. The TARDIS made an annoyed sound, sending a short electric volt towards him. He grimaced as Rose laughed. "What's so funny?" He grumbled.
She quickly zipped her jacket and came to him. "I love you." She said before kissing him gently.
He looked confused for a moment, but when she kissed him, he pulled her closer to him, kissing her back. "Me too," He said when she pulled back, holding her wrist as if to never let her go.
"Come join us?"
"Sure." He watched her as she left and then lay back down on her bed, sighing quietly. Not so long ago, he was alone. How he ended up with Rose being back to him and a son was more than he could figure out.