Chakotay was in a relatively good mood the next morning, cheerily greeting the odd crewmember on his way to the cargo bay.
Though he knew Seven was likely more traumatized by her stint on the Lokirrim ship than she let on, he was simply relieved to have her back and confident they could work through her conflicted feelings together. And he was sure she was conflicted. How could she not be? For all his faults, Seven and the Doctor were friends. Even if they weren't, she would have saved him anyway. Taking on his programming had been her choice, but she'd also had no other acceptable choices left to her at the time. It was well known that there was no greater fear for any human, let alone a former drone, than that of giving up complete control to someone else's will. To be trapped, unable to even voice an opinion… No matter what she said, the idea of it was unpalatable at best.
It briefly occurred to him that he still needed to tell her what Tom and B'Elanna had discovered about the Barclay hologram. Given the rough few days, he decided the news could wait. He himself was more than willing to forget all about it anyway.
Instead of simply walking in, which was everyone's custom to the public space of the cargo bay, Chakotay pressed a few buttons to make the door chime. Only when they slid open on the occupant's command did he enter.
"Chakotay, you're earlier than expected." Seven stood in front of the main console, smiling at him.
"I was eager to see you." It wasn't flattery so much as simple truth. He glanced down at the display in front of her, but she pressed a button and whatever she was looking at disappeared. It naturally made him curious. "What are you up to?"
Though it was somewhat embarrassing, Seven pulled up her research. Her feet shuffled a little as he reviewed her research.
"What's this?" Chakotay was not judgemental, just surprised. "You want to wear a uniform?"
Seven sighed, shifting her weight as she sought to find the words to explain herself. "When we were captured by the Lokirrim, their captain took an interest in me."
Chakotay nodded, having skimmed the Doctor's report but not yet gotten to Seven's more complete rendition.
"I believe my physical appearance was what initially attracted him, whatever of the Doctor's behavior induced him to do afterwards."
"Seven—"
"I am not speaking out of hurt pride or ego." She dipped her head, embarrassed. "When we were boarded, I was disoriented, but I saw how Captain Ranek looked at me. He asked to interrogate me, not Ensign Kim, and then he kissed me…"
"He kissed you?" Chakotay's voice rose.
"The Doctor's report did not include that?"
Chakotay shook his head, a stiff frown marring his usually calm face. "It must have slipped his mind."
"My point is, it led me to consider that my current appearance is problematic." She remembered one of the Doctor's social lessons: Dress for Success. It had occurred to her before that her strict and distinct appearance set her apart from the crowd, making true integration with Voyager's crew just that much more difficult. Until relatively recently, she'd decided appearances were irrelevant. Now she wasn't so sure.
"Seven, you look fine. There's no reason to go changing who you are because of one bad experience."
"Humans and other species place a great deal of importance on appearances and, I must admit, I am not eager not to be so quickly singled out as I was by Captain Ranek." She had never paid much attention to the looks she received, but now she had Chakotay and a better understanding of social conventions, the things she'd once dismissed were feeling increasingly relevant. She didn't want to be in the position she was with Ranek again.
I'm going to decompile the Doctor myself, Chakotay thought. He hated that anyone could make Seven feel this way, even if it was inadvertent. "If you want to change your appearance, do it for yourself, not for anyone else. As for Ranek, I doubt a change in clothing would have made a difference. You're a beautiful woman and people will be attracted to you, but that doesn't mean you should feel bad or take on responsibility. Ranek's actions are on him. I'm going to assume that if you'd been in control, things wouldn't have gone as far as they did."
Seven nodded. Indeed, if the Doctor had simply listened to her and Ensign Kim, he might have been able to dissuade the misguided Lokirrim captain.
"The important thing to remember is that you're a strong woman, able to handle anything."
Seven gave him a tiny smile. "You would not be bothered by a change in my wardrobe?"
Chakotay laughed. "Did you hear me complaining about your dresses?" A sobering thought occurred to him. "You know I wasn't just attracted by your appearance, right?"
"I know." She might have teased him, even contemplated it, but his question and the creases of concern around his eyes was a little too serious for her to play with him just then. Despite the revealing biosuits, Chakotay's eyes had never roved the way some men's eyes did. "Your behaviour has always been respectful, even though you disliked me initially."
"I didn't dislike—" The arch of her brow and knowing turn of her lips was enough to stop him short. "It was more of an intense distrust."
"Given the nature of our relationship now, you either have masochistic tendencies or you 'got over it,' as they say." In fact, she had difficulty understanding what had attracted him at all since he'd been immune to her Borg-sculpted physique from the start. Certainly, it must mean his feelings had developed based on something else, something more substantial.
Loving how the teasing glint in her eyes grew, he answered in kind. "Well, you are troublesome. Could be a little bit of both." Unable to resist, he leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to her lips. "I got over it a long time ago."
"I'm glad to hear it."
"Well, it's not like you made it easy for me to hate you, what with you saving the ship and integrating as well as you did."
Her smile grew, entertained by his ability to overlook the difficulty she gave him and Janeway initially. "I believe the term for your perspective now would be 'seeing through rose-coloured glasses.'"
"You don't give yourself enough credit."
"Sometimes it is difficult to feel like a full member of the crew." Lifting a shoulder, she gave a partial shrug. Her first few months and even year onboard she was apart from everyone simply because she was learning and still under the strong mental hold of the Borg. She'd eventually improved, but not to the point where she felt like a normal human being.
In truth, Chakotay had realized a long time ago that Seven deliberately kept herself aloof and reinforced the Borg image. While Janeway had huffed about it, he'd seen it for what it really was: a desperate attempt to hold onto the only control she felt she had and put up defences against a crew she neither knew, nor fully trusted.
And, looking at her as she stood on the precipice of change, he finally realized that as much as he'd not trusted her at first, she had an even more difficult time trusting him, trusting the crew. She had probably considered a regular uniform before, but couldn't bring herself to give up that defence, the image of an intimidating Borg drone.
That thought pressed him into action.
"What are you doing?" Seven asked. He moved to stand beside her, taking over the controls.
"If you want to try out a uniform, let's try it out. If you don't like it, you can change back."
"The crew will comment."
"Let them." In no time, he replicated the crewman's uniform and Seven changed, amusing and arousing him as she shed her clothing in front of him without so much as a blush.
"Acceptable?" She smoothed down the black jacket nervously.
Chakotay had to admit, she wore it well. "I like you better without it, but it'll do."
Confused, she held up the biosuit.
"Without that either." He smirked as that finally made a pink tinge appear on her cheeks.
"Chakotay…"
"Come on, I'm starving."
[Mess Hall]
People took second looks, but it wasn't as bad as Seven feared. It seemed the change was accepted. It was just the initial surprise as people did doubletakes to confirm it was her and wonder at the reasoning behind it.
Harry was sitting with Tom and B'Elanna when he caught sight of a strangely familiar shock of blond hair attached to a crewman's uniform. The woman turned her head, giving him a clear look at her face.
"Are you okay?" Tom watched in concern as Harry spit up a bit of his morning tea and began to cough.
"You need lessons on how to drink, Starfleet?" B'Elanna smiled as Harry continued to hack, his watering eyes still turned to the blonde. "What is it? What the…"
Finally clearing his airway, Harry took a deep gulp of air. "It just surprised me."
B'Elanna could hardly believe her eyes. "Holy crap."
"Well, how do you like that?" Tom, B'Elanna and Harry watched the Commander and Seven get breakfast and settle at a table together.
Harry remembered what the Doctor had blurted out in his drunken ramble on the Lokirrim ship. He'd dismissed the seemingly ridiculous idea of the two dating, let alone sleeping together. However, seeing them together like that made him realize it wasn't rambling. They really are a couple.
"See," said Chakotay, deliberately ignoring the curious looks they garnered. "No big deal."
Seven gave a little shrug, pleased and slowly relaxing as she let the chatter of the surrounding crew fade into the background. It was pleasant and peaceful as she and Chakotay caught each other up on the various details of the days they'd missed together.
They parted ways in the corridor, which was too crowded with morning commuters for them to do more than smile and promise to meet in his quarters for dinner before going to Fairhaven. It felt as though some of Chakotay's calm had been loaned to her, letting her float through the better half of her day with only minimal consciousness of her change in wardrobe.
"Oh, Seven!" Crewman Tal Celes stopped short on her way into astrometrics. She was there – an hour late – to fix one of the relays in one of the wall panels.
"Good afternoon, Crewman." Seven turned back to work. In her good mood, she chose not to comment on Celes' tardiness. Besides, Seven knew a few systems more important than the minor relay in her section were acting up.
"Afternoon." Celes went to the wall panel, nervously eyeing Seven as she did.
Seven, absorbed in her work, was oblivious to the curious looks of the Bajoran woman.
"So," gathering courage when no rebuke came for her late response, "new uniform?"
"It is." Obviously.
"Oh." Celes pulled off the panel and began to work. It wasn't a complex fix and was done in half an hour. Still glancing furtively at Seven, Celes didn't run away as she normally would have. "So, if you don't mind me asking, why the uniform?"
"An experiment."
"Experiment? To see if you like it?"
Seven gave a quick nod, not daring to look up from her work.
"Oh." Celes thought a moment. "It looks good on you."
That did get Seven's attention. She looked up, but Celes smiled and left quickly, in a hurry to get to her next task.
The doors closed behind her, leaving Seven to contemplate the simple exchange. It was without question the longest and most pleasant conversation she'd ever had with the other woman.
Perhaps the familiarity of the uniform made her seem more approachable. A part of her scoffed. A change in clothes did not change the individual. Still, there was no mistaking the difference in Celes' manner.
Humans are strange.
[Chakotay's Bedroom]
Seven sighed and curled on her side to watch Chakotay's features, their bodies still twined and twisted in his bedsheets. Carefully, she raised her left hand to trace the contours of his beloved face.
It was amazing to her how quickly she'd become accustomed to sharing physical intimacy, and not just sex either. She revelled in the way he'd reach for her hand, the warmth of having him close, and the simple touches when his leg or arm brushed hers. It was quickly becoming her habit to trace his tattoo, as much as it was his habit to trail his fingertips along the edges of her implants. Somehow those small moments were even more precious to her, more illustrative of their relationship.
Without realizing it, she smiled widely.
"What's funny?" Chakotay felt his own lips pull into a grin, though he didn't know what the joke was.
She shook her head slightly. "I love you."
"And that's funny?" As her grin widened, so did his.
"Isn't it ironic considering how we met?"
He chuckled. "Yes, I suppose it is." Taking her hand, he pressed a kiss to the palm. "I love you too."
"I'm keeping the uniform."
"Good. I'm glad you like it." He sat up a little, his eyes catching sight of the discarded clothing on the floor. "Though, I still prefer your clothes on the ground."
Seven laughed. "As do I, but I don't think the Captain or Starfleet would appreciate such a sense of style while on duty."
"I think I could persuade Starfleet to change their rules," he said with a waggle of his eyebrows.
Pulling the covers up to take an assessing look at him, Seven forced her face into seriousness. He lay, unashamed and stifling laughter under her scrutiny. "Yes, you could."
"Well, that's all the encouragement I need. I'll propose it in my next letter home." He pulled her in, cuddling her close.
"You had better." Seven settled against him, hearing his heart beating out a lullaby as she relaxed.
Chakotay's chest rose in a contented sigh. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"
Seven laughed, snuggling closer.
[Sickbay]
"Do you have plans for your shore leave?" The Doctor ran his customary scan of Seven as she sat on the biobed. He eyed the uniform she still wore in place of her biosuit. She'd pushed the time between her maintenance exams so it was the first time the Doctor viewed the change. Mixed feelings accompanied the realization she both wore it well and seemed softened by it, more approachable and less harsh.
"I do," she replied stiffly.
They had just entered the space of a benign species known as the Ovions. After a little easy negotiation on Janeway's part, the crew could all look forward to shore leave. Everyone was excited.
Seven herself was only hours away from leave with Chakotay and though he had an early shift the morning following their time off, he'd promised they had enough time to see the Ovion's central space station.
The central space station, where most of Voyager's crew would explore, was set up just beyond the Ovion home world, Henova, within its own orbit around their primary star, like a man-made planet of unique complexity. It was rumoured to be quite impressive, larger than any station in the Alpha Quadrant and rivalling even the Borg's construction for complexity. It was suspected this had something to do with the Ovion's own biological complexity. Hexapods like the Ovions were both rare and agile, allowing them to build things in ways bipedal beings simply would not.
"I assume these plans are with the Commander?" The Doctor kept his voice cheerful, but it was increasingly difficult as she gave him short answers and avoided looking at him. Though she had not been outright rude or obviously avoided him, it was clear she had not yet forgiven him for his behavior while occupying her body.
She sighed, reminded of his rambling to Jaryn about commanding officers, and his loose lips about her relationship. "It is."
Her cool tone left him in no doubt as to whether or not to follow that line of conversation. He completed his scan. "Well, you have a few things slightly out of alignment, but otherwise you're fit as a fiddle. We can fix them when you get back. Enjoy your leave."
With a nod, she stood and headed swiftly to go.
The cold address, the way she practically ran from him… it was too much. "Seven!" he called as she got to the doors. She turned, her stiff posture not helping him find his voice at all. He tried to think of something eloquent, but could only blurt two words. "I'm sorry."
It didn't make up for what he did, but Seven deigned to face him. She raised a brow, as much of an indication to continue as she felt like giving.
"Feeling what it was like to have a biological body, it was an amazing experience." He clasped his hands, frowning over them nervously. "It was intoxicating, but that's no excuse for getting carried away like I did, and I must admit I should have listened to you and Ensign Kim."
"Your conversation with Jaryn."
"Yes?"
"Is that how you feel about my relationship with Commander Chakotay?"
He hesitated. There was no way he could possibly be honest about that. It would take a phaser to his head to make him admit how he wished the Commander were a less worthy contender. Some captains and commanders did have a reputation for being promiscuous, but that stereotype did not apply to Voyager. He wished the Commander would do something foolish to lose her trust. He wished that she could have returned his feelings instead of the Commander's. However, at that point he was willing to settle for the return of her friendship.
She raised a brow, conscious of his delay.
"No, I don't." He smiled reassuringly at her, forcing himself to reluctantly admit as much truth as he could. "The Commander is a fine choice and he's lucky to have you."
It was as good as she was going to get and better than she really hoped for. "You are forgiven."
Hoping to cement her forgiveness and restore some normality, he instantly beamed. "Excellent. Then maybe you would like to accompany me to the Ovion's concert hall tomorrow. We can make an evening of it."
She'd promised to accompany Neelix, Naomi, and Icheb on their tour of the most prominent university of Henova tomorrow. The Doctor's eager, hopeful smile prevented her from rejecting the offer. It was going to be a long day.
Delighted by her nod, the Doctor pulled out a PADD and brought up the symphony information. "I'll meet you here and we can transport down together."
"As I will be on the planet already, I will meet you at the music hall."
"Oh, all right." He smiled again and watched her leave with relief, thankful holding a grudge was not one of the parts of humanity she'd picked up yet.
[Chakotay's Quarters]
Seven entered, hesitating just a little. Despite Chakotay providing her with an entry code and programming the computer to allow her full access a few weeks ago, simply walking in was not yet a comfortable habit.
Chakotay looked up from his spot on the couch reading a PADD with the morning reports. He smiled, noticing the pause in her step. "You have to stop doing that. You're making me nervous."
"Nervous?" She sat next to him, his arm immediately going around her shoulder.
"It's as though you're deciding whether to stay or flee."
She smiled at him. "Why would I flee? You're not frightening."
He feigned hurt. "I'll have you know I was a revered captain in the Maquis. Everyone feared me."
"They may have pretended to."
"They called me Crazy Indian Chief!" He tried to keep a straight face, but her grin made that impossible. "What? Don't you believe me?"
"Not at all."
Tossing the PADD aside, he wrapped his other arm around her waist and pulled her down, rolling on top of her with a growl. She didn't so much as squeak at the swift change in position. She smiled up serenely, challenging his claim of fierceness so sweetly that he kissed her.
"Is this your attempt to frighten me?" Her eyes twinkled. "I'm not sure you understand what fear is."
"Maybe I've just met my match."
"Does that make me the Crazy Borg Queen?"
"The craziest." He bent his head once more, thoroughly enjoying himself until...
"If we are going to see the station, we should leave now."
He signed and cursed her internal chronometer. Still, he had promised and he wanted to see the alien station as well. "You're right."
Seven wasn't any happier about the loss of his weight and warmth against her than he was about sitting up. It pleased her, however, to think how she'd make it up to him later. Though they were not going to be together the whole day, they did have tomorrow off, which meant they could sleep in should they stay up late. He had a dinner with Janeway scheduled, but after that he was all hers.
[Ready Room]
Captain Janeway tried not to smile in amusement as the Ovion ambassador, a female if her lighter colouring really was a proper indication, shuffled around Voyager's ready room. The Ovion was as curious about Voyager as Janeway was about them. The Ovion's flat face and short snout twisted and turned and sniffed, trying to observe everything at once.
"It's not often we get visitors from so far away, or in such unique circumstances," said Ambassador Lol.
"We hear that a lot." Janeway gestured to the seats along the window. "Would you care to look around? We can then begin a proper tour of Voyager."
Lol's black eyes shone with increased excitement. "Thank you!"
It was impossible to stop from smiling as the gorilla-like alien moved around the room, sniffing here and there. The Ovions had clearly developed in a unique way.
In basic design, the Ovions were not unlike Earth's apes with squat bodies leaned over and the capacity to gallop or walk on all six legs or just two. Since evolution eventually deemed grasping objects was a useful trait, the front and rear limbs had developed opposable digits, which allowed them to climb and build tools. Though not overly furry, the females were distinguishable from the males by their lighter colouring.
After examining Janeway's desk, Lol examined the scene from the large windows and tested the replicator. Satisfying herself with the ready room, Lol took the short leap back down from the upper platform and raised herself up onto her four hind limbs, the better to address the taller human. She'd found nothing out of the common way for foreign starships, but was too polite to say so.
Janeway gestured to the door and the two began their tour.
[Corridor]
They hurried to the transporter room where a short line was already formed. No one batted an eye that she arrived with the Commander. Earlier on, a few whispers had been heard about Seven dating the Commander, but as it neither resulted in a change of behavior towards herself or Chakotay, nor contained malicious commentary, Seven shrugged off the gossip as irrelevant and it faded away fairly quickly.
"Henova or space station?" the ensign operating the controls asked.
"Station," said Chakotay as they and two others stepped onto the transporter pads.
The familiar walls of Voyager shimmered away and were soon replaced by lush plants and bright sunlight.
"Impressive," Seven commented as they all glanced around in appreciation.
They had been transported to one of the station's biodomes. It was a glass-walled garden twice as large as Voyager teeming with flora and small fauna. A butterfly with iridescent red wings floated by, joining a hundred other breeds as they moved from bright flower to bright flower.
"Voyagers!" A cheerful voice translated by the comm. badges greeted them. An Ovion male – recognizable as a male only because of his darker skin tone – emerged from the dense leaves around them. "I'm Uruk. I'll give you a brief overview and then you can explore as you like."
As they were lectured on how to get around the station, Seven analyzed the architecture in front of them with curiosity.
Highly intelligent, but also close to the land of their home world, the Ovions incorporated biotechnology and aspects of nature into their spaceships as well as the space station. Hence, the enormous garden districts. The insertion of gardens normally would have been deemed foolish by the Borg, but the Ovions made it a useful addition. Not only did the flora provide food, fresh air and clean their water, the garden provided a mental and emotional benefit to the occupants. It was quite beautiful and the plants themselves could be processed to provide a variety of natural products.
Uruk finished his speech and led the way to the door to the rest of the station. With a cheerful wave of his front leg, he wished the four Voyager crewmen a pleasant time.
"They must like to climb," said Chakotay. He eyed the elaborate textures of the walls around them, which were designed to allow strong, dexterous fingers to grab hold and climb any which way they pleased.
They rounded a corner and his statement was confirmed by the sight of an Ovion walking along the ceiling. It glanced down at them as it moved along, its intelligent black eyes full of curiosity.
[Engineering]
Lol wanted to climb the railing to the upper deck. Janeway could tell by the way the Ovion ambassador's eyes wandered upwards, her fingers clenching. The only thing preventing the ambassador from following the natural impulse was that Lol had met enough bipedal creatures to know such a move would be highly unusual, perhaps even dangerous.
"Captain. Ambassador." B'Elanna nodded to them both. Though not used to seeing non-bipedal aliens, B'Elanna was able to not stare. It was hard, but she managed it.
As B'Elanna led Lol around Engineering, Janeway lagged behind, eventually finding a nook with an empty seat. With a grateful sigh, she sat, flexing her sore feet. She wasn't used to being up and about for so long. Lol was fast on her multiple legs, but liked to dawdle over things she hadn't seen before. Unusually friendly, she also spent a great deal of time chatting with any stray crewmembers they met along the way. Janeway dreaded their stop at the mess. No doubt Lol and Neelix would talk for hours if allowed.
She was keeping an ear open for the return of the ambassador, which meant she was prepped to hear even things she shouldn't.
"Did you see them?"
"Who?"
"Seven of Nine and the Commander. They were lined up for the transporter room."
Janeway wasn't hiding exactly, but she was hidden by a bulkhead and console. As a result, she couldn't see who was speaking and she didn't immediately recognize the voices, only that they were male. If she tucked herself a little further back, it was not to eavesdrop but to relax further into her seat. That's what she told herself anyway.
"Yeah, I heard they were dating."
"I wouldn't think a Borg would be to his taste."
Janeway almost stood then, her protectiveness for Seven overshadowing her curiosity, but the men continued and she was shocked into stillness.
"The Captain either." A low laugh. "But I guess this means he's over her."
"I didn't believe those rumours."
"Who says they're rumours?"
"Are you a scientist or not? Show me proof and I'll believe you."
"Whatever. If it's true and they were together, then she kept him wriggling around on the hook long enough."
"Speculation."
"Bet the Captain's jealous."
"I still don't believe it."
"Fine. If it's all hot air, then I still have to wonder what's kept him single for so long."
The second man laughed. "It's a small ship and I don't see you in a committed relationship."
"Still, I think he had a torch for her and he's just settling."
A louder laugh. "Settling? I'd give my left nut to date Seven."
"She's so… Borg."
"I dunno. I bet once you get that catsuit – er, uniform off, she's a firecracker."
The voices moved away, leaving Janeway sitting there in stunned disturbance. For one thing, she didn't like her crew talking so crudely about one of their own, least of all Seven. Still, she supposed they hadn't said anything too terrible. No, what really shocked her was the part about her supposed romance with Chakotay.
At first it was easy to dismiss the thought of being with Chakotay, but the idea popped right back.
I could have had him. She knew that. She'd always known that, but she'd denied the impulse, still believing Mark was just a spark of luck away. As the months and years dragged on, however, the reality of their long journey burned away even her optimism. Even then she never displayed an interest and they settled into a pleasant, plutonic relationship.
I could have had him.
Were they right? Was she jealous?
No.
Maybe.
That she could not immediately answer with full confidence left her thoughtful.
They told me they were together awhile ago, she thought. I wasn't jealous then, was I? She didn't think so. For a few weeks she'd watched and listened to gauge if they were both happy and if it was affecting their work or the gossip mill. However, both motives had been honourable and out of concern for her ship and her friends. Both Seven and Chakotay seemed happy and, much to her surprise, no gossip had reached her ears until they began dating more openly. Even then, people's speculation fell short of the truth and was short lived.
Maybe I did feel some regret when I found out. It was only natural, but I'm over it now. Is he?
She shook her head, trying to dismiss it all as absurd. It is. It is ridiculous.
As though to mock her attempt to ignore her overheard conversation, hours later, she and Chakotay had dinner together.
As they chatted amiably and sipped wine, she realized it had actually been a few weeks since they spent time together like this. They'd both been busy, but she'd missed it. He was easy to talk to and filled her in on the little things around the ship she wouldn't otherwise have known. He was also one of the few people she could confide in. Even from the start of their journey he proved to be a patient, safe, and honest listener.
Looking across the table at him as he laughed at an anecdote, she thought he must have missed their time together too.
That led her back to the twirling questions her eavesdropping had dredged up.
Janeway cleared her throat. "So, what's Seven doing this evening?"
"She insisted on catching up on some work since she'll be on the planet all day tomorrow." He kept his attention on Kathryn, but his mind wandered a little as he imagined Seven in astrometrics. Fighting a sigh, he wished he'd begged to postpone his evening with Kathryn. Her cooking had never improved and it made him desperately miss Seven's meals. Besides, they'd had a good time on the space station and he wished they had more time to explore.
"I see." She smiled. "No one could ever accuse her of lacking work ethic."
"No, they could not." He smiled too, his indulgent adoration speaking volumes.
It was then that Janeway knew the truth in her heart as well as her mind.
"You're a lucky man, Chakotay." Janeway grew more serious. "I didn't say it before, but I should have. I'm happy for the two of you. I really am."
Somewhat taken aback by this spontaneous confession, Chakotay could only lift his wine glass in thanks. "I know I am."
I could have had him a long time ago, she decided, but it would have been a mistake and we wouldn't have been happy. It wouldn't have lasted, not long. She sipped her wine and was content.
[Henova]
Seven nodded a farewell to Neelix, Icheb and Naomi as they headed to the transport site. The trio were happy and exhausted from their hours of wandering all over the large city. Even Seven longed for rest. As much as she enjoyed sleeping in Chakotay's arms, it was not as restful as regeneration, but she was due to meet the Doctor in a few minutes and she wouldn't let a little fatigue stop her.
"Seven!" The Doctor smiled widely.
"You're early." She noted his camera. "Have you been looking around?"
"A little, but not much. I only arrived about a half hour ago."
Seven nodded and they entered the music hall together.
"I'm glad we were able to do this."
"As am I." Seven looked around. The hall wasn't that different from human concert halls. Acoustics worked the same no matter the species. The only thing that differed were the decorations.
"It's very…" The Doctor waved a hand, but words failed him.
"Floral," Seven supplied. It was a homage to nature, just like the space station, and the university campuses, and the rest of Ovion city construction. It was an indulgence for the eyes. Seven thought it was lovely and then smiled, thinking how dating Chakotay had changed her.
Like the space station, the first thing anyone could notice was how every wall besides the stage was alive. Plants of every shape, size, and colour were placed in pockets along the walls. They flowed out, many flowering, to transform the construction into an artificial jungle. Automated watering and fertilizing units ensured each plant was a thriving beauty. In consideration of the more infirm, and of bipedal tourists, there were stairs as well as holds for the Ovions to climb to the upper balconies.
They were slightly early for the show and so were able to wander the auditorium before taking their seats. Together, Seven and the Doctor admired the construction, the mesh of nature and artifice. Neither Seven nor the Doctor was particularly interested in horticulture, but it was nearly impossible to not be impressed with the Ovion's ingenuity.
The Doctor snapped a few holo-photos of the auditorium and then turned and his figurative breath stopped.
Seven, oblivious to the attention she drew, reached out and cupped a delicate bloom. The lights of the auditorium glinted off the drops of water left from the most recent watering. She leaned in and sniffed the blue lily-like flower. It was like honey, chai spice, and vanilla. It was a comforting scent, similar to Chakotay's aftershave with regards to the effect it produced. She sniffed again, the scent stirring some memory from childhood she'd long forgotten. Unknowingly, the edges of her lips lifted in an enigmatic smile.
With only the thought of capturing the entrancing moment, the Doctor lifted his camera and snapped a picture. She remained ignorant and he sighed, feeling like a voyeur or peeping tom into an intimate moment.
She had no hold on the memory the scent lured her to, no way to actually grasp at the images and feelings lurking beneath her consciousness. The Borg had taken her too young for her to remember much of her childhood, too young to get more than a general sense of things dredged up by her olfactory senses. All she knew was that she felt happy and comforted by the smell of the flower.
She was beautiful, a fact the Doctor had been all too aware of for a long time. Sure, he'd had his moments of frustration with her, but he'd always enjoyed her company and the challenge she presented.
He loved her.
Stop it, he told himself. You can't love her.
No, he was certain that he was in love with her, and in the heat of the moment, he believed it was now or never. The Doctor would tell her how he felt and let the chips fall where they may.
"Shall we find our seats?" Seven released the flower, letting it bounce back to its original placement. She turned to the EHM, unaware of anything extraordinary having taken place.
The Doctor nodded, the moment fading as he got cold feet.
She's in a relationship with the Commander.
Relationships break all the time.
As numerous Ovions and a smattering of other random species began filtering in, Seven and the Doctor took their seats.
The lights faded and the Doctor looked at Seven, entranced by the shadows playing across her face.
Now or never.
[Holodeck]
"You serve." Tom handed Seven the tennis ball while B'Elanna and Chakotay returned to their starting positions.
It was a combative round, eventually coming down to the half Klingon and former drone, their competitiveness driving them to face off practically at the net's lip. The men fell back to catch what their mates missed, which was practically nothing.
Seven returned B'Elanna's hit and B'Elanna responded in kind, grunting with the effort. The scene repeated itself over and over again, the women growing more tired with every volley and yet unwilling to give up.
The computer beeped and the scene froze. Their time on the holodeck was up.
"Wait, who won?" B'Elanna turned to Harry, who sat on the sidelines with Samantha Wildman, his partner. They shrugged. B'Elanna looked to Seven, who raised a brow, but didn't answer.
"Hun, it's just a friendly game," Tom reminded his wife, who swore in Klingon.
As Tom attempted to console his sweating and thwarted wife, Chakotay put an arm around Seven's waist and led her to the side where Harry and Samantha were getting ready to leave.
"This was a good idea, Sam," Chakotay commended.
Sam shrugged. She'd been a tennis player since a child, only stopping the practice when she met her husband and became preoccupied with romance and a family. Since Voyager was stranded in the Delta Quadrant, she'd lost all interest in the game. Her suggestion to play tennis for a game night had only come about because Naomi asked into her mother's previous hobbies and then repeated them to Neelix while he tried to think of events for the crew.
"You are a worthy opponent," said Seven. She and Chakotay played Sam and Harry before Tom and B'Elanna.
"I'm still pretty rusty," said Sam with a tiny smile. "I haven't played in forever."
"Then your skill must be exceptional when in practice."
Sam chuckled and waved away the praise, but was really very pleased. Compliments from Seven were rare and honest, something that made them precious even to those who didn't need or seek her approval.
"Ready for dinner?" Chakotay asked, pressing a kiss to Seven's cheek. She blushed, unaccustomed to the public display, which made him kiss her again. Normally, he would have followed it up with some teasing, but something felt off. Besides just embarrassed, Seven felt stiff against him. It was strange and worrisome.
"Yes."
"Oh, hey, you two!" Tom called after the retreating couple. "Don't forget tomorrow is cards!"
"We'll be there," Chakotay said, waving a farewell to the pilot. He ushered Seven outside.
"What's your hurry?" Seven barely had time to nod to the others before the doors closed behind them.
"Game nights are fun," said Chakotay, his hand still on the small of her back, "but I've enjoyed having you to myself. I guess I'm spoiled."
Seven chuckled. "Greedy would be a more accurate portrayal."
"Guilty." He increased the pressure on her back. "Besides, I have to make up the time you were on Henova."
Seven smiled and moved along well enough, but her gaze was distracted, focussed on an internal debate rather than what was around her.
"It feels like we haven't had a quiet night together for a long time," said Chakotay.
"Almost a week," she answered automatically. After her evening with the Doctor, she'd barely spent any time with Chakotay. It wasn't as though she was avoiding him, but she still felt a prickle of guilt. She'd been distracted and twirling over the same thoughts and confused feelings, which led her to work late and seek regeneration instead of sleeping in his bed.
Far from oblivious to the change in her behaviour, Chakotay glanced sideways at Seven, more determined to spend the evening alone with her and perhaps get to the bottom of her aloof manner. Joining the others for a friendly game of tennis had been part of his plan, simple as it was. It was an attempt to restore some normalcy. The rest required some privacy.
Dinner was already partly prepared so all they had to do was toss it in the oven to warm up and make a salad. Chakotay volunteered for the task so Seven could shower first.
She nodded as Chakotay offered to take on the responsibility of cooking, her gaze distant again as she left Chakotay to sigh alone in the kitchen. In truth, he was growing concerned with every passing moment. Something was clearly upsetting Seven, but she wasn't confiding in him. That bothered him the most.
He thought back to when it had started and believed he could place the change in behaviour to right after their time with the Ovions. She'd been fine during their tour so he knew whatever happened must have occurred the day after. A fight with Neelix or Naomi was highly unlikely as was an issue with Icheb, which left him with one suspect.
Dinner turned out to be an unusually quiet affair.
"So, how did you enjoy your first tennis game?"
"It was pleasant."
"Would you like to do it again?"
"Perhaps."
"Cards tomorrow. You going to take Tom for all he's worth again?" Chakotay smiled, trying to force some teasing, but she wasn't paying attention. "Seven?"
"Yes?"
He sighed. Clearly this couldn't wait any longer. "What's wrong?"
She hesitated. "Nothing important."
"Please give me a little credit, Seven. What's going on?"
Shuffling uncomfortably, Seven could no longer debate with herself. It had been a few days and no solution to her conflict presented itself, nothing except to tell Chakotay the cause of her distance. "Very well. The Doctor declared his feelings for me. He claims he's in love with me."
That wasn't what he'd expected, but he wasn't entirely surprised. "When?"
"While we were on Henova. I wasn't sure whether it was wise to tell you."
"Do you feel the same way?" It was a question he didn't want to ask, but felt the need to pose given her behaviour. He kept his tone even, but it wasn't easy, his heart hurting at the thought that she could say she preferred the EMH. They were close, after all, and naturally spent a lot of time together. It was far from impossible that she could develop feelings for the Doctor.
"No."
There was too much hesitation in her voice for his comfort. "Are you sure?"
"I'm…" Seven shook her head, but her mind was torn in two. "I appreciate his friendship and I admire him, but I don't…"
Trying to remain calm in the face of her uncertainty, Chakotay nodded. Inside, he was awash in alternating anger at the Doctor and sadness that she didn't immediately assure him of her feelings. Still, he wouldn't pressure her for something she couldn't give and there was no joy in being with someone who didn't return affection in full.
"I'm sorry, Chakotay, I…"
"It's all right, Seven." It took everything he had to keep his voice calm. He was sadly reminded of once telling her she was stuck with him until she could come up with a proper argument to end their relationship. Desiring someone else was certainly something he couldn't ignore.
"I love you," she assured him.
"I know," He believed she did, but… "but maybe that's not enough." He glanced away. "If you think you might prefer him—"
"I don't…" I don't know. She didn't think so, not at all, but the Doctor had brought up some logical points. It simply made more sense for her to spend her time with the EMH. And yet she didn't feel romantic about him. He'd said she needed to explore beyond Chakotay, to test out her options, to allow herself to see how good the Doctor would be for her. Was it true? Was she only with the Commander because the opportunity had been there first? It was unfair to both of them if that were even a little true.
"Maybe you need to take the time to figure out what you want." He wanted her to say there was no conflict, but he didn't want her to simply say it. He wanted it to be true.
Seven, for her part, wished to reason against the suggestion, but the Doctor's arguments, the simple logic of them, made her pause.
Time. Give her time. In the past, he'd argued, pressed his case, but this instance he felt that was the opposite of what he should do. After all, if he pressured her and she gave in, the underlying conflict would not be resolved.
Seven looked around at the remains of their dinner. Needing to do something, she began to clean up.
Chakotay stood and helped, biting back the impulse to tell her he'd take care of the mess; this way he could prolong their time together if only for a few more minutes. Normally, they would have moved together, making jokes and discussing their day. However, neither one felt much like talking anymore.
When they were done, Seven bid a quiet goodnight to Chakotay, pressing a lingering kiss to his cheek and left for the cargo bay. Sadness tugged at her as he let her go without protest.
It felt like the longest walk of her life and tears were trickling down her cheeks by the time she reached the safety of the dark cargo hold.
[Harry's Quarters]
The players had all gathered, but hadn't started their game yet, waiting for the last two of their group. Around the table in the middle of Harry's main room were Tom, Harry, Neelix, Ensign Tabor, and Vorik, who had taken a liking to beating his fellow crewmembers at cards. B'Elanna puttered in the kitchenette, sorting out the plates and various foodstuffs.
The door chimed and Harry called for the person to enter. He didn't really look away from his conversation with Tabor besides to give a quick wave to greet Chakotay.
"You're late," B'Elanna chastised with a teasing smile. She was about to make a joke about his girlfriend having an internal clock when she noticed the absence of the blonde. "Where's Seven?"
"She's not coming."
"What's wrong?" It didn't require any great insight to see that he was deeply upset. B'Elanna noted with concern the droop in his shoulders, his glossy gaze, and the frown that appeared to be carved right into his face like a stone statue.
"We…" It was difficult to sum it all up.
"What? Did you have a fight?" She could see the others at the table weren't paying them any attention, but kept her voice low anyway.
He shook his head. "Not exactly."
"Then what happened? You look like your dog died."
As succinctly as he could, Chakotay summed up the night before, taking care not to suggest he in any way blamed or was angry with Seven. No, if he was angry, it was with the EMH. He was glad he spoke calmly; B'Elanna looked ready to explode.
"I'm going to—"
"B'Elanna, please don't." He held up a hand. "Please. For my sake, just let her work things out in her own time and don't accuse her of anything. She didn't do anything wrong."
"She hurt you."
He couldn't help smiling. She made it sound like a capital offence. "I'll be fine. Please."
She took a deep breath, blowing it out through her nose in a huff. "Fine."
Though B'Elanna appeared to calm herself, Chakotay briefly wondered if he should warn Seven to not turn her back on the engineer.
After a bit of thought, B'Elanna narrowed her eyes at him. "Did you try to convince her to stay?"
"I…"
"Chakotay, did you even try?"
"No." He felt his back get up as she sighed dramatically. "B'Elanna, what was I going to say?"
"Oh, I don't know. How about anything?"
"And then what would happen? She'd stay, but we'd both be wondering if she really does like the Doctor more than me."
"Did you ever consider that she does like the Doctor, but not the way you think?" B'Elanna asked quietly. "She's still relatively new to all this and she's relied on him to teach her humanity more than anyone. Lines get blurred sometimes between teachers and students. I had a friend at the Academy who thought she was in love with her warp mechanics teacher, but she really just admired him, looked up to him like an idol. Maybe Seven doesn't understand the difference yet." And maybe the Doctor doesn't want her to.
Chakotay shrugged. He hoped that was the case, that her relationship with the Doctor was just strong enough to be confused with something more than it was but ultimately settled into its rightful place.
"Are you two gonna play or just sit there all night?" Tom called out.
Chakotay sighed and B'Elanna threw a retort at her husband, but they moved to sit and begin the first round of cards with as much enthusiasm as they could muster.
[Corridor]
Less than two weeks later, Chakotay hesitated to enter sickbay. Not having a dangerous job and Voyager not having been in any firefights for a long while (long for them anyway), he'd not had to go to sickbay or speak to the Doctor, not since before Seven told him the Doctor declared his feelings for her.
Chakotay would have liked to continue not speaking to the EMH, but it was his job to handle the duty roster and many of the personnel issues that came up, and the Doctor had asked to see him. He sighed, but straightened his shoulders, donned his commanding officer's façade and forced himself to go in.
There was only the EMH inside. "Ah, Commander."
"You wanted to see me?"
The Doctor nodded. "I'd like to request a temporary leave of absence. You remember the Ovions?"
Chakotay nodded. As though I'll ever forget. Indeed, they both shuffled uncomfortably, but left unspoken the knowledge of what occurred there with the woman they both loved.
"They just asked me to speak at a symposium on space-borne pathogens. There are going to be physicians from all over the quadrant. This is a rare opportunity for me and for the rest of the crew."
"How's that?"
"I'd be representing Voyager, putting our best foot forward, so to speak, and, needless to say hexapods are more likely to know a best foot when they see one."
Chakotay didn't laugh. He could act professionally, but he couldn't laugh. "I'm sorry, Doctor. It's just not practical."
The Doctor, sensing the living human's discomfort, bristled. "I seem to recall Lieutenant Torres participating in Boray at a conference on transwarp theory a few months back."
"That was different."
"How?"
"We were there. The Ovion system is two weeks behind us. I can't ask the captain to turn the ship around."
"I could take a shuttle."
"You could also write a paper and submit it on subspace."
"That's hardly an effective means of making a presentation."
Chakotay, who was doing his best to remain unbiased, tried to appeal to the Doctor's logistical subroutines. "Say you do take a shuttle. Would you expect us to sit here and wait for you to get back?"
"There must be some fascinating anomaly nearby for the crew to explore."
Chakotay felt his temper begin to fray, but was saved from answering by the beep of the comm. system.
"Janeway to Chakotay."
He almost knocked the badge from his chest in his hurry to answer. "Go ahead."
"We just received a distress call on a Hirogen frequency."
Legitimately surprised, Chakotay almost forgot to think of the Doctor and his request. "We haven't heard from them in a while."
"I've altered course. I'd like you on the bridge."
"I'm on my way." He didn't run, but it was definitely with a lengthened stride that Chakotay escaped sickbay and the Doctor's shout after him.
"Perhaps the Hirogen will keep you occupied long enough for me to attend the symposium."
His back to the Doctor, Chakotay rolled his eyes, feeling his blood pressure rise again. Didn't the Doctor think that if they were going to a distress call, they might need a physician onboard? It also didn't negate his previous argument that the Ovions were two weeks (at least) behind them. "My decision stands."
"Is this really about the timing, or is it because of Seven?"
The door to the hallway opened, but Chakotay stopped at the Doctor's words. Did the EMH really think he would be so petty? "She has nothing to do with this."
"So, the fact that I love her and I'm better for her has nothing to do with your denial of my request? I know she would have told you about our date."
Chakotay didn't bother pointing out that it hadn't been a date. "In case you forgot, it's Seven's choice who she wants to spend time with. No matter what, I respect that."
"I know you're not together anymore." He knew it was a low blow and baiting, but it slipped from the Doctor's lips in his frustration.
"And I know she's not with you."
"It was always just a matter of time before your fling ended. She needs to be with someone who can really understand her."
"If you really believe that's you, then why do you need to lash out at me?"
"Do you really think you can make her happy, that she can make you happy? Do you have the patience to teach her human customs? What will happen when you want children?"
"And what would happen when she grows old and you're just the same pre-programmed hologram you were when you were first activated?"
Fuming, but with no recourse left to him, the Doctor could only watch the Commander leave.
In the hallway, Chakotay had to pause and take a few deep breaths. Fling? So incensed, the EMH's comment about children completely escaped him.
It wasn't true that he and Seven were officially split up, but since her small confession, an unspoken separation had taken place. He'd contemplated asking her out to dinner every day since, but restrained himself. She needed time and space to understand her feelings and he wanted to give that to her. More than anything, he wanted her to come to him. Only then would a reconciliation mean she'd truly chosen him.
No matter his noble intentions, the resulting gap between them was still painful.
His only source of comfort was that despite being free, she'd not taken a single step toward dating the Doctor. It gave Chakotay hope, but put him into a feeling of limbo as he awaited her decision.
He gave himself a mental shake and forced himself to think about the Captain's call. The Hirogen. That couldn't mean anything good.