You Don't See It

Chapter 14

Pairing: Jane/Maura
Rating: M
Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me.

A/N: See author's note at the end of this chapter.

Hope didn't return to Boston immediately because she ended up having to keep her existing commitment in London, but Maura decided it was actually a good thing. Over the next few months they emailed each other almost every day and occasionally skyped. Maura found that it was easier in many ways to communicate through writing. The stakes were lower in many ways over email rather than face to face. It was easier to ask and answer, or avoid, intimate or embarrassing questions through email and Maura thought that they were successfully learning quite a bit about each other. Hope planned to make another trip to Boston in the next couple of months and then Maura was going to visit her in London.

Maura and Hope traded stories about their families and childhoods. Maura wrote about Jane and her plans and hopes for their future. The major drawback with getting to know each other through writing was that it was impossible to know whether a short or seemingly brusque email was a result of topic or something else going on that made writing difficult. Although, if the conversation became awkward, they were always return to discussions of their work, their shared field of study making that transition smooth and easy.

Hope occasionally expressed feelings of sadness or anger at missing so much of Maura's life, and there were times when she seemed to withdraw, going a few days or more without writing. But it was understandable. Maura tried to balance her joy about the burgeoning friendship with her birth mother with patience and understanding about the position Hope was in with her only just learning that Maura was even alive.

Meanwhile, Maura was feeling a sort of inner peace that she was unaccustomed to. Her whole life she couldn't help but wonder about her birth parents and for whatever reason she particularly fixated on her birth mother. She had always wondered why her mother had given her up for adoption. Despite every rational part of Maura's brain telling her it wasn't her fault that she was adopted, sometimes she couldn't help wondering what was wrong with her. When she didn't fit in easily throughout her childhood and even into adulthood, it just seemed like evidence that her birth parents were right not to want her.

That feeling of being worthless or unwanted lingered longer in her life than Maura would care to admit. Times when she was lonely or vulnerable that feeling would creep back up. Now, knowing the full story behind her adoption, she felt like she could really put that behind her. It was wrong. That doubt about herself had always been wrong but she couldn't accept that until she had the evidence.

Maura and Angela were seated cross-legged, eyes closed and facing each other on the floor of Maura's living room, both in jnana mudra pose, meditating after a yoga session.

Since her trip to Paris with Jane, Maura felt her relationship with Constance had improved greatly. They spoke more frequently and more freely than ever before, and Maura felt much closer to her. Still, Maura cherished her relationship with Angela. Angela was the warm, nurturing mother Maura had always dreamed of having and from the beginning of her friendship with Jane, Angela had become an important part of her life.

Since she and Jane had started dating, her relationship with Angela remained strong, but Maura had tried to keep her relationship with Jane separate from her friendship with Angela. She didn't want to use Angela to get information about Jane or to try to influence Jane in some way. But there was one thing that Maura had been thinking about a lot recently and really wanted to ask Angela about.

Breaking the peaceful quiet of their post yoga meditation but keeping her eyes closed, Maura said, "What do you think Jane's real opinion of marriage is?"

"Marriage in general, or marriage to you?" Angela quickly replied.

Maura's eyes snapped open at Angela's unexpected response and she found Angela smiling at her. "What do you mean?"

Angela moved out of her meditation position and stood up, stretching briefly before settling on the couch. "Jane was never the type of little girl who was planning her wedding. I don't think she ever fantasized about what her wedding would be like or who she would marry. Although I remember one time when she was little she said she wanted to get married at Fenway Park. It was very sweet. But as an adult, no Jane didn't ever talk about getting married. But she didn't really even date anyone seriously until you, despite my best attempts, trust me. But with you, everything is different."

Maura thought about this as she too stretched and moved on to the couch. "How can you tell?"

"Before you and Jane even started dating, I knew you were special to her in a way no one had been before. The way she talked about you and then how I saw her act with you was different. I certainly never imagined or planned for Jane to fall in love with another woman but I saw it happening. I wasn't surprised when you two finally started dating."

Maura shook her head. "How come everyone saw that but me?"

"I don't know, honey. Probably because you two were so close you never really saw her act any differently. But if you are asking me if I think Jane wants to marry you, then I think the answer is yes. And I'm not just saying that because I want her to get married. I think that you make her want things in her life that she never wanted before. She says things sometimes about your future together. I don't think she has any question about whether she wants to spend her life with you."

"Then why hasn't she asked me to marry her?"

"I'm not sure. We both know that Jane is much sensitive than she wants anyone to know, and when it comes to love and relationships I think she is less confident then she should be about what she brings to the table. But, Maura, why can't you ask her?"

"I...I don't know."

"Come with me. I have something to show you," Angela said, already up and walking towards the back door to the guest house.

When Jane arrived home from work Friday night, Maura was waiting for her in the bedroom. Maura heard the front door close and Jane call her name. She took a deep, calming breath and yelled back, "I'm upstairs." As she waited for Jane, Maura willed herself to keep her hands at her sides and not fidget.

A moment later Jane was standing in the bedroom doorway. Maura watched Jane look around the bedroom. Candles were lit on the bedside tables and dressers, providing most of the light in the room as the overhead light was dimmed to its lowest setting. Rose petals made a trail from the doorway to the bed and covered the bedspread.

Maura saw the confusion on Jane's face as Jane said, "Is today a special day? Am I forgetting something important?"

"Yes and no," Maura answered.

Jane scrunched her face, trying to make sense of what Maura was saying, but failed. "What?"

"You aren't forgetting anything. But I hope this will be a special day."

Jane's gaze settled on Maura and her features softened as she looked Maura up and down. Maura was wearing a dark burgundy strapless dress with a dangerously plunging neckline. "Do we have plans? You aren't planning on going out in that dress are you? It's a little revealing."

"No, I purchased this dress with the intention that you would be the only person to see me in it."

Jane moved into the room with a smirk on her face. She ran her fingers down Maura's sides to her waist. "You bought a dress just to wear around the house?"

Maura was in bare feet. She rose on her tip toes so she could say softly, "I think it was worth it," before kissing Jane's lips.

Jane smiled into the kiss but then said warily, "So, are you going to tell me what this is all about?"

Maura pulled Jane towards the bed and said, "Come sit." They sat down next to each other on the edge of the bed and Maura took told of one of Jane's hands. "I..." Maura started but faltered. She had thought about all the things she wanted to say in this moment but found herself overwhelmed and couldn't prevent her eyes from watering.

"Jesus, what's wrong?" Jane said. "If you're going to tell me something bad just spit it out. You're making me nervous and I can't take it anymore."

Maura shook her head, smiling through her tears. "No, it's not bad. You know I can't help it," Maura said, gesturing to her tears.

"I know, sweetie. So what is it?"

Maura took a deep breath and started again, although she couldn't stop the tears from falling. "Jane, I love you. You have given me your love. You've given me a family. Since we became friends you have given me a place where I fit. You are patient and understanding and strong when I need you to be. I cannot imagine my life without you and I don't ever want to be without you."

Maura took a box off of the bedside table and slid off of the bed and knelt on the floor in front of Jane. "Oh, this is so much harder in a dress than I realized it would be," Maura said, laughing through her tears.

Jane gasped and her hand covered her mouth in surprise when she realized what Maura was doing.

Maura opened the box and held it out to Jane as she said, "Jane Clementine Rizzoli, will you marry me?"

Jane's mouth was still hanging open as she said, "Seriously?"

"Yes," Maura laughed.

Jane grabbed Maura's wrists and pulled her back up onto the bed. She brushed her fingers over Maura's face, wiping away the tears, only vaguely aware of the tears filling her own eyes. "Yes, I'll marry you. Nothing would make me happier than being your wife and having you as my wife."

Maura took the ring from the box and slid it on the ring finger of Jane's left hand. It was just a simple gold band. "Your mother gave me this for you. It was your great-grandmother's wedding band."

"You told my mother you were going to propose to me?"

"Only kind of."

Jane laughed and pulled Maura down on the bed so they were both on their sides facing each other and Jane captured Maura's lips in an intimate kiss. Jane had forgotten about the rose petals and other decorations in the room until she felt the petals beneath her face. "I can't believe you did all of this for me. You could have asked me to marry you in the morgue and I would have said yes."

"I would never have done that," Maura said indignantly. "I wanted this to be special." Jane raised her hand to look at the ring. "Is that okay?" Maura asked. "We can get it re-sized. Or I can get you something else."

"It's perfect. We need to get you one too."

Maura bit her bottom lip and propped herself up on an elbow to open up the ring box again. She held up another ring, a gold band with a small diamond setting. "Angela offered me this too. It belonged to your grandmother on your father's side. I didn't feel right about accepting it without checking with you first to see if it was okay with you."

Jane propped herself up on an elbow too and took the ring from Maura's hand and looked at it. "It's a pretty small stone, do you want something bigger or fancier?"

Maura shook her head. "This ring is from your family and I love it."

Jane took Maura's left hand and as she slid the ring on Maura's finger said, "Maura Dorothea Isles, will you marry me?"

"Yes," Maura nodded vigorously, tears springing to her eyes again. "Yes," she whispered again as they fell back onto the bed together.

A/N: To my lovely readers,

I'm marking this story as complete now. I took this story much further than I intended to when I started it. I definitely am not ruling out the possibility of another chapter or two in the future, but for now this is where it is going to end. I've definitely learned that I like writing about Jane and Maura figuring out their feelings and getting together but after they get together I loose steam. There are many good stories out there about them in a relationship and I enjoy reading them but for whatever reason it isn't what sparks my creativity. Thanks for sticking with this story through to this ending.