Chapter 14
Afterward
Waking up was a disorienting thing. A clingy cobweb of dreams coated Kamui's conscious, the strands not completely dissolving after he opened his eyes—a distant echo of indistinct voices sticking with him. He had the perturbing impression he'd been able to understand them asleep, but the memory was fading and he turned his attention instead to the strange new ceiling above him. He blinked at it for a few seconds, clearing away the last vestiges of sleep, but yes, that was definitely a different ceiling.
"Finally awake?" Kamui turned, but he recognized that amused tone and already knew who he'd find. "I thought you'd sleep forever." Fuuma, lying beside him—sprawled beside him on top of the blankets. Kamui was used to sleeping beside the man—Fuuma had been a frequent visitor when he'd been stuck unable to walk after all, but that had been… That was… It certainly hadn't… Flustered, Kamui struggled to find words. Well, there was something about the solid walls that made it feel closer, more intimate for one thing, and for another… Fuuma had definitely been wearing a shirt then. And that amused expression was not helping matters.
What was so funny about the situation anyway?
"What…" he trailed off, realizing suddenly that without the sheets covering him, he was wearing less than Fuuma. With an indignant protest, he tugged the blankets more firmly around himself.
"Your clothes were ruined. I had to change them." Fuuma was definitely smirking now. Kamui flushed, realizing what this would have entailed.
"You… You…" Unable to settle on a properly indignant response, he shut his mouth with a snap, glowering his annoyance instead until Fuuma pointed out a set of clothes on the nightstand. He took the pants off the pile with as much dignity as he could muster and pulled them on under the covers while Fuuma rolled his eyes.
"It's not like I haven't seen all of you before." Like that made it any better. Kamui had just picked up the top and was sliding into it when Fuuma continued, "Oh, and you're sleeping with me from now on anyway. I've already informed the servants." From somewhere under the shirt, Kamui yelped. It took him a second to untangle himself from black fabric before he could reply.
"You told them what?"
"Well, they had to know to stop taking your clothes upstairs." By the look on his face, Fuuma was enjoying Kamui's predicament way too much. He reached over languidly and tugged on the sleeve of the shirt the boy had just put on. "I like this on you."
Kamui started to reply, but the retort died on his tongue… The man's words were a suddenly unwelcome weight on his conscious. He'd had nothing when Fuuma found him—no home, no belongings. He'd left it all behind when he'd had to run away with Subaru. Everything he had in the world, every material thing at least, was what Fuuma had given him. For a second, he struggled with his own conflicting emotions: it didn't excuse what the man had done, and he didn't want to be grateful. But it didn't give him the right to complain about what he'd been given either… Running a hand over the fine fabric of the shirt, he felt unexpectedly ashamed.
"Thank you," Kamui said, looking away. "For the clothes." Fuuma's smirk vanished into sudden surprise.
"You're welcome."
Kamui took a deep breath. "But what was wrong with my old room?"
"Kamui…" Fuuma's earlier amusement was completely gone now, replaced by careful neutrality. "You didn't seriously think you could stay up there, did you? With all those windows letting in light?" Kamui blinked slowly while the man's intense gold gaze bored into him, watching for a reaction. He hadn't forgotten about the previous night's events, but he'd been unconsciously pushing it aside, he realized—okay, he'd wanted to push it aside. The familiar burn of embarrassment was easier to handle, and he'd wanted to be distracted. But some things couldn't be ignored forever. He'd known that too, but he still didn't feel ready to deal with it.
For a minute, he stared at his hands, at the porcelain skin, as though there might be some visible difference there. And now that he was paying attention, actually trying to listen, he realized it wasn't just that he'd been shutting so much of the information from his senses out, Fuuma's house really was just that quiet at night. With relief, he relaxed, letting his guard down, actually listening for once. The noises weren't gone, but they were far enough away or muffled enough to not be bothersome. Little noises: the sigh of air under a doorway somewhere, the soft sounds of steps somewhere beyond the walls, the closer creak of the mattress as Fuuma shifted. Kamui's memories of the previous night were muddled in places from all the confusing sensations drowning him, both internal and external, but he distinctly remembered the deafening roar of sounds pressing in on him, hands clutching at his ears to block it out. Comparatively, the muted noises filtering through the thick walls now were normal.
The clarity and brightness in his vision still felt a little like staring into a flame too long, but it was better than the day before too. Not so raw somehow, or just not so new.
This is how Subaru sees now, he thought. Like this. The thought was a handle—something solid to grasp hold of.
"I'm like Subaru now, then."
"You're like me," Fuuma corrected, feeling that there was an important difference in there somewhere. He didn't like the boy's brother having anything to do with it. All in all though, he was surprised; he'd been expecting a more violent reaction. And it was right about as he was thinking that, Kamui turned around and punched him. He didn't quite manage to block the hit, but it wasn't particularly painful anyway, and he did have his guard up instantly to block any ensuing attacks… only they never came.
"Hm," Kamui considered, shaking his hand. It still hurt—Fuuma was a fairly solid force—but it hadn't broken any of his fingers like it might have before. He'd gotten stronger.
Fuuma relaxed when Kamui didn't make a move to assault him again, but still watched the boy warily, unsure whether this reaction constituted acceptance or rejection and hesitant to push for clarification.
"That was for Subaru," Kamui told him when he finally looked up, answering that silence. He wasn't quite ready to forgive the man, but the shock and anger had burned low, guttering into deep weariness. Sternness seeped into amethyst eyes. "And for me." He held up his hand, gesturing to himself, showing it to Fuuma. "This. You could've asked me."
"You would have left, or died. I won't let you leave, Kamui." Fuuma sat up, gold gaze hard, uncaring how harsh the words were. "Not ever."
"I don't want to leave," Kamui replied, dismissing the notion as sheer stupidity. "Do you have any idea what it's like to watch everyone you care about avoid you because the very sight of you causes them pain? You should have asked. I would have said yes."
"You were angry," Fuuma replied skeptically.
"Well, okay, I might not have said yes right at that moment." Kamui rolled his eyes. "And what's this 'were' junk? I'll have you know I'm still angry with you!" But it was more belated indignation than true anger, and the next second he sighed. "I want to see Subaru."
"Your brother's fine."
"I want to see him."
Fuuma considered those stubborn amethyst eyes for a second. Keeping the brothers apart permanently was impossible. He had no doubt they'd find a way to see each other again. From the set of the eyes across the room, Kamui at least was determined to find a way.
"I'll let you see him when you can control yourself enough to not kill him."
Kamui snapped his teeth at that, a frustrated sound, and a sudden crackling in the air seemed to echo it. A roll of thunder. Gathering Power. Fuuma's response was instant. He whipped around, one hand connecting hard enough with the boy's chest to knock the breath out of him, and was immediately over him before he'd even finished falling, larger body pinning the smaller one to the bed.
The dissonance in the air evaporated. Kamui wasn't about to go down that easily, but there were fangs wrapped around his neck, and they tightened warningly when he started to struggle.
"First!" Fuuma's voice was sharp in the darkness, commanding, "this is my home, I don't want it destroyed. Second, you need to learn to control your temper. Third, never, never…" a short pause,"…expose your throat." Fuuma hovered there, letting the words sink in.
Kamui shoved at him. He could feel the man's body all the way down, an intimate awareness that made him burn uncomfortably. He shoved more urgently, but it was like shoving at a rock. Immovable. In the end, it was Fuuma who sat up, a slow uncoiling, moving off him by degrees.
"You'll see your brother when you can control yourself," he reiterated, pitiless. "Unless you want him to end up like that boy you killed last night?" Kamui abruptly went still, limbs falling back to the bed as though the strings had been cut. He turned his head away, staring at the wall. Fuuma sighed.
"It was good he died. He might have come after us had he lived." Which, instead of helping, caused Kamui to roll over completely.
"Death is never a good thing," Kamui muttered head first into the blankets. The other boy's demise was a heavy weight. He hadn't meant to kill the boy. It had been an accident—an accident he was terrified would happen again. Would he inadvertently kill the next person he bit too? He wasn't sure. And he didn't know what to do. But then a thought came to him.
"You," Kamui said, turning suddenly back to Fuuma and sitting up. "It's easy for you. You've taken my blood without killing me many times."
"Yes, but I've had more experience."
Still, Kamui was undaunted. "You didn't hurt me. You don't have to kill. Show me how!"
Fuuma blinked in the face of such earnest amethyst eyes. Then a smirk slowly stole across his lips. "Very well." Reaching out, he drew the boy closer with the press of fingers to the nape of his neck. Kamui's eyes drooped low, and Fuuma knew the boy could smell his blood now, knew the boy wanted him. His grin widened.
"Why don't we…" he suggested, "practice…"
Subaru sat up as soon as the sun released him, tried to open his eyes before he remembered he couldn't. The right one refused to open. But it burned—a sensation that had invaded his sleep prior even to waking up.
"What's wrong?" Seishirou propped himself up on an elbow, alerted by Subaru's sudden start.
"It hurts." Carefully, he rubbed a little at it with one hand, and his fingers came away covered in flecks of crusted blood.
"Let me see." Seishirou knocked the hand away and cupped the boy's face, pulling him down in order to get a better look, and examined the wound clinically for a second. "Hmm." Pushing the blankets back, he tugged Subaru to his feet. They'd both been too exhausted the previous night when they'd gotten back to do more than drop into bed, and so they were both still in dirty, rumpled, torn clothes. "This way. Follow me." Seishirou pulled Subaru down the hall and into the bathroom, where he wetted a washcloth in warm water and pressed it to the mess of Subaru's eye. After a minute, he washed it off in the sink and pressed it back against the wound again. And slowly, slowly, the blood loosened and washed away, running down the drain in rivulets of red water.
"Subaru-kun." Seishirou's voice was curious. "Try opening both eyes." Subaru did so and immediately slammed them both shut, vision a haze of red and black. It burned, but Seishirou was grinning as he let Subaru splash water into his eyes, trying to wash out the rest of the blood, and when at last the pain had faded and he looked up into the mirror, he stared, startled.
"Can you see?" Seishirou watched Subaru's expression in the mirror over his shoulder.
Subaru nodded and turned shy green eyes on him. Twin eyes. A beautiful blush crept up his cheeks under the gentle brush of a thumb feathering over the eyelid appreciatively. And as he held still under that gentle, curious touch, the previous day's events bubbled to the surface of his memory.
"Did I… Did I really kiss him?" Subaru asked, embarrassed. Seishirou's mouth thinned into a firm line and Subaru blushed in guilty mortification, moaning and trying to hide his face in his hands. What had ever possessed him…?
"Ne, Subaru-kun…" Seishirou's voice was mischievous, and Subaru peeked one eye out at him cautiously. "Do you really love me?" At that, Subaru squeaked and tried to hide again, but Seishirou wasn't about to allow that and slowly pulled the boy's hands away so he could see those eyes again, even if they were trying not to look at him. Leaning down, he dropped a kiss on the boy's brow coaxingly. "Well?"
Subaru stared stubbornly at the floor, too embarrassed to look at the man, but he couldn't take back what he'd said the previous night. And maybe he didn't want to. Nervously, he nodded, still not looking. But then Seishirou's hands enveloped his face and slowly, inexorably tilted his chin up so that he had to meet that amber gaze. But the man was smiling. Somehow that made the worry knotted inside him loosen just a little.
"I'm glad." Seishirou leaned closer, still cupping the boy's face, and kissed him properly. Subaru tensed at first, fingers curling fast in the man's sleeves, but as the kiss continued, he slowly relaxed into the man's hold. What about you? he wanted to ask, but he knew it wasn't his place.
And then, suddenly, Seishirou stilled.
"Subaru-kun…" he blinked, as if startled by the idea, "we need a bath."
"Oh, I…" Subaru said, taken off guard. But once the man had pointed it out, he felt silly and distinctly unsanitary in yesterday's clothes. Detaching himself somewhat dazedly, he started for the door. "I'll wait outside then." But before he could take more than a couple steps, Seishirou's arms encircled him from behind and dragged him back against the man.
"Stay," he requested. "Let's take a bath together."
"Together?" Subaru squeaked. But there were already hands beginning to work on separating him from his shirt, methodically stripping him of concealing cloth, and try as he might, there was only so much he could do wrapping his arms around himself and shivering. And Seishirou too, he was going to be… Subaru blushed. Somehow he had to endure an entire bath like that!
He felt suddenly dizzy and faint as the rest of his clothes were pushed to the floor. Then Seishirou was starting on his own, and Subaru felt rooted to the spot, unable to move. Realizing he was staring, he jerked toward the wall, face flushing, but he could still feel that amused amber gaze trained on his back.
Don't think about it, he told himself. It didn't mean anything. The other man was teasing him. Don't think about it.
But then Seishirou's hands wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him back, skin against skin, and he forgot not to think about it.
Forgot completely.
Fuuma lowered the book he'd been reading and finally acknowledged the servant who'd been standing attentively at the door.
"What is it?" Normally he wouldn't have waited fifteen minutes to ask, but he was pretty sure he knew what the problem was, and it could wait. They could wait.
"There's someone here to see the boy, sir."
Fuuma scowled. It was getting tiring… having those people show up on his door. For the past week, ever since they'd returned home, they'd been practically plagued with Hinoto's messengers asking Kamui to come with them. Fuuma was fed up with it. They couldn't have the boy. Not now. Not later. Not ever.
"They can't talk to him. Send them away."
With a nod, the servant ducked back out the door. From the other side of the room, a pair of amethyst eyes stared at him balefully.
"That could have been Subaru!"
"It wasn't," Fuuma replied, going back to his book, only to have the owner of said amethyst eyes flounce down beside him. Absently, he reached out and captured the boy's wrist, circling it easily with his thumb and index finger, and went back to reading. He was not expecting the twin stabs of pain that pierced his lower arm.
"Gah! Kamui! That's not what those teeth are for!" He glanced down at the boy and the rapidly healing set of fang marks gracing his arm.
"You're not listening to me," Kamui replied, undeterred. Fuuma stared at him for a few seconds before deciding that such a show of defiance constituted… punishment. There was a very satisfying yelp as Fuuma caught a fist-full of Kamui's shirt and dragged the boy up into the chair, and for a second everything was a delicious tangle of arms and legs and figuring out which way was up. Then Fuuma snagged the boy around the waist, righting him and half supporting him as he leaned down. The air pressure around them had begun to build during that scuffle, like the promise of a (very localized) summer storm, causing the room to seem to ripple and distort. Fuuma ignored it.
"This is what your fangs are for," he whispered into the boy's ear, biting down on the slender column of the boy's throat in demonstration. And as he drew that delicious blood out of that pretty body, the pressure that had been building in the air winked out of existence. Fuuma smirked smugly into the bite. It was hard to say whether Kamui had noticed it or not. But it didn't matter. Hands caught and kneaded at his shirt, curling and uncurling as the boy arched up into the bite. Rather than acquiesce to that silent demand, Fuuma pulled back enough so that the breath of his words would feather across the skin, smirking at the little displeased noise this elicited.
"Can't you just tell them to go away?" Another question for which he already knew the answer.
"They don't listen to me," Kamui replied, squirming a bit.
"Such a shame…"
Kamui yelped when the man unexpectedly released him, hitting his head on the armrest.
Lesson over.
Kamui sat on the corner of a dark roof, between the awkward shapes of decorative clay urns, watching the spectacle below, bored, and wondered absently when he'd begun to find such matters routine. It hadn't been more than a week since the prospect of facing humans had still been terrifying and new.
Kamui had never killed anyone to eat. Well, not since that first time after he'd been turned. A fact over which Fuuma had continued to remind him of the dangers—letting humans go who could recall his face. But he wasn't Fuuma, and killing wasn't necessary.
"Any good?" he asked, once the man had finally released the lean body in arms.
"Why? Want any?" Fuuma smirked up at him, holding his hand out. Kamui hopped down, careful not to dislodge any of the urns, one corner of his mouth quirking up warningly, before he caught the front of the man's shirt in a slender hand and tugged him down, stretching up on his toes to whisper into the pulse-point along the side of Fuuma's neck.
"Maybe later." When he pulled away there was a heaviness in the air that hadn't been there before—a pressure against the ears. Fuuma watched, gold gaze boring into him. Reaching a hand out toward the roof he'd been sitting on a moment before… Kamui focused. One of the urns burst—an explosion of clay fragments. Then another, three away. And another, back beside the first. He let his hand fall. "You said when I could control it…"
Fuuma cut him off, pulled him closer, and Kamui knew he was about to pay for earlier. The tension in the air had far from died. It danced about him, lifting little wisps of his hair. The man's hands on him were warm, wrapped around his upper arm, at his waist. His breath hitched at the contact, and he tipped his head back dizzily when the man bent toward him. All the Power on Earth and he was going to fall right into Fuuma's hands. "I never break a promise." The man had bent far enough that the following words were a shaky breath of laughter at the base of Kamui's neck. "What did I tell you about exposing your throat?"
"Mff." Displeased by the sudden reprimand, Kamui tried to struggle away, not amused by the joke. But the grip on his arm only tightened, and he stilled at the scrape of teeth. Danger. Caught. A thrill of expectation wound high and tight at his core, dizzying. He barely felt the sting of those teeth closing at his throat.
He'd already surrendered completely.
Subaru stared at the door and let his thoughts drift over the outside world and far off affairs. Seishirou hadn't let him outside since the day they'd come back. Maybe because he was safer there, tucked away from prying eyes, or maybe because no one could ever use him against the man if he was kept in hand, or maybe because Seishirou just didn't like to share. Whatever the case, Subaru didn't want to go against the man's wishes—it wasn't in his nature to disappoint others—but he didn't know how long Seishirou intended to keep him all hidden away, and he knew that if he stayed, the man would find a way to distract him from his purpose again, like he did every night.
Tentatively, he reached out for the doorknob, knowing that he should leave already if he intended go, knowing that if Seishirou came back it'd all be over. He reached out… just as the knob suddenly twisted under his fingers. He blinked to find the door pulled open, Seishirou blocking the way, having returned early. While he was still getting his bearings, the man raised a suspicious eyebrow at him.
"You wouldn't happen to be thinking about going out, would you?" He stepped through the doorway, pulling the door closed behind him, and the click of the knob turning back into place was resoundingly final. Realizing that his chance had been lost, Subaru despaired.
"Please, Seishirou-san. Kamui… I need to go." But the door was all the farther away then, almost unreachable, barricaded as it was behind Seishirou.
"I don't want you going to Monou-kun's alone. It's dangerous."
"Then together. There are things I need to tell Kamui. It's important!"
"You haven't eaten yet." Seishirou looked him over critically, mouth thinning. "Don't think you can distract me with the issue of your brother."
Subaru blushed, half at the accusation and half at the scrutiny. He might have pointed out that it was Seishirou using concern for his health to distract him, but he wasn't the kind to say so, and it was true that he'd never admit to being hungry. So he let the man sweep him down the hall into one of the rooms—let the man gather him onto his lap all complacent. Seishirou didn't need to say anything, didn't need to speak soft, persuasive things to coax him like he'd done at first—the firm hand at the back of his spine, between his shoulder blades, fingers pressing at the nape of his neck, spoke volumes. He let that persistent pressure guide him down, draw him closer, until he was tucked comfortably under the man's chin. The shiver of a pulse fluttered, trapped, against his lips. Bringing steadying hands up to curl about broad shoulders, he bit down, freeing it, and ceased to think about the thing…
There was no way he'd get to see his brother now, he knew—not while Seishirou was there. The man would find ways to keep him there, to make him forget (even temporarily) what was so important. His instincts told him Kamui was well, but he wanted to know. He wanted to see.
And he wanted to explain.
There hadn't been any time that night he'd watched Fuuma take his brother away, and circumstances had kept them separated ever since.
Through the whole thing Seishirou was still, any response to Subaru's gentle touch at his throat suppressed so completely not even the smallest shiver of pleasure escaped. Subaru would have worried he was hurting the man if it weren't for the hand curled warmly around the nape of his neck to keep him close, insistently pulling him down again if he tried to let go too soon. So mostly he found the smooth skin under his palms where he held onto firm shoulders pleasant, the control that kept the muscles beneath his fingertips still reassuring. Seishirou would always be that impossibly unruffled, calm center in his world.
So when the man's fingers tensed in his hair, pulling tight, Subaru knew something was wrong. Seishirou was looking away from him now, somewhere off in the distance.
"Well," he said, "it seems you'll get to talk to your brother anyway." A minute later Subaru could feel it too—the slight disturbance of feet, preternaturally quiet, pressing against sod.
"Kamui?" Subaru asked, perking up and looking about. Nodding silently, Seishirou got to his feet, catching Subaru when the boy hurriedly scrambled off his lap and setting the boy down in his place.
"Stay there."
"But I need to talk to Kamui!" Sad emerald eyes followed Seishirou beseechingly.
"It's too dangerous. That man will be with him and I don't want you anywhere near him." With that, Seishirou turned and headed down the hall, trusting in the boy's obedience to keep him from following. The one thing Subaru had always been was obedient. It was… reassuring.
Turning his thoughts from the surely morose boy he was leaving behind, Seishirou bent his will to opening the wards for their visitors before they could be simply broken. By the time the main door was swung open, he was waiting on the other side.
"It's polite to knock."
The golden-eyed man framed in the doorway paused to raise a questioning eyebrow.
"Would there have been an answer?"
For a moment the two of them stood there, regarding each other. Fuuma hadn't hoped the man would be away again like the first time he'd come, but faced now with such a solid obstacle, found himself unsure how to proceed. The problem was, while Fuuma was no longer trying to kill Seishirou, there was no guarantee the other man had given up trying to kill him.
He could sense Kamui at his back, that crackle in the air that was part of the boy enveloping them both now. He deliberately barred the doorway with one outstretched arm, warning the boy away from rash decisions. Seishirou could feel it too, he knew, that undercurrent of power and danger. It would be difficult for the man to face them both, should it come to that, but he wasn't to be underestimated. Even if the two of them had the advantage in raw power, Seishirou would be a dangerous enemy, practical experience a weapon honed sharp by years, and they were in his home.
"Kamui wishes to see his brother," Fuuma said into the silence, after they'd stood there for a few moments waiting for the man to make his decision. "We have some questions. That's all." And at last Seishirou swept an arm out, gesturing them to proceed forward, the picture of a gracious host.
"Guests first."
Fuuma nodded curtly, not trusting such generosity. Placing a guiding hand at the small of Kamui's back, he swept the boy along beside him, alert to the smallest movement of the eyes he could feel trained on them from behind. But somehow they made it inside without incident.
"Straight forward. To your right," Seishirou prompted when they came to a stop, honey-soft voice at their backs an unnecessary reminder of his presence. Fuuma allowed the guidance, knowing when they'd reached their destination by the other occupant already in the room.
"Subaru!" Kamui jolted from Fuuma's grasp in order to embrace his twin, whose emerald eyes had gone wide at the pair of them.
"Kamui," Subaru acknowledged, before the joy in his expression faded into guilt. "Kamui, I have to tell you…"
"You knew what would happen." Kamui cut him off, drawing away a little, though there was nothing reproachful or condemning in his tone. Subaru's arms fell to his sides defeated, and he nodded, a deplorable little nod, staring at the floor. "How long?"
"Years." He sat down on the couch, a little suddenly, as though invisible strings of worry had been cut by relief. "I found out by accident. I would have told you! But Obaa-chan said people would come after you if anyone found out. She told me I must never tell…"
"Understandable," Fuuma said, moving to shadow Kamui, pulling him down onto the couch as well, "considering anyone with half a whit of training would have to be blind to not notice so much Power."
"It's only a matter of time till they come for him. They won't be able to miss it." Seishirou claimed a chair to the side—a location that allowed him a good view of the other occupants in the room and coincidentally put him closer to Subaru. "If they get him… they'll be able to find Subaru."
Fuuma didn't miss the warning. "It doesn't matter," he replied. "They won't get him." The arm that was wrapped around Kamui's waist tightened marginally. "What I'd like to know is how this happened in the first place. I've never heard of a Family with Power like Kamui's."
"I'm interested in this as well," Seishirou said, after a minute had passed. "Subaru-kun?" he prompted, but the boy shook his head.
"In order for such a thing to even be possible…" Fuuma began, contemplative.
"They're half brothers." When everyone turned to stare at him, Seishirou continued, "Well, it's only logical. Subaru-kun is obviously a pureblood Sumeragi. Kamui-kun is very definitely not. And the only union capable of producing such an abnormality," here Seishirou ignored Kamui's sudden protest, "is an inter-Family union." He turned to Subaru. "I don't suppose your grandmother was particularly pleased."
"A union with what Family?" Fuuma asked, eyebrows raised.
"Magami." Amber eyes fell on Kamui, restrained in the other man's hold. "When their mother died, I noticed the smell of the ashes. The grandmother… must have tied her spell to his blood."
This time Subaru nodded. "When his blood changed, the seal was broken."
"That's why," Fuuma murmured, briefly resting his chin on the head of ebony hair leaning against him, "when I turned Kamui, the spell was destroyed." For a few minutes there was silence as the occupants in the room considered this, each absorbed in his own thoughts. For a long time there was nothing to say. In the end, it was Seishirou who spoke up.
"What do you intend to do now?"
"I'm staying," Fuuma replied. "I'm not running."
"He'll draw attention." Amber eyes flicked briefly to Kamui. And though he didn't say it, Fuuma knew better than to think the man was concerned about their welfare.
"Better to meet it here then, on familiar ground."
Seishirou didn't look satisfied with that answer, but while they'd been talking, Kamui had leaned forward.
"Subaru," Kamui reached out to his brother entreatingly, "why don't you come back with us?" The thought of leaving, of not knowing when they'd see each other again, if they'd be allowed to see each other again, was unimaginable. To know his brother was trapped there, locked away…
The question was innocent, but Fuuma saw the danger in it immediately, how it would be taken. Nevertheless, it had already been asked and there could be no taking it back. He glanced at Seishirou, who sat unmoving, face a mask. But Fuuma was a hunter too, and he knew that stillness well.
Everyone turned to Subaru, who blinked wide emerald eyes at all the attention. "I want to stay with Seishirou."
"I think," Seishirou said slowly into the stillness that followed, "you should go now."
"Subaru…" Kamui repeated, doubtful, as Fuuma pulled him to his feet.
"I want to, Kamui," Subaru reassured, making placating gestures as his brother was tugged away from him, getting to his feet as well to follow. "I want to." In the face of such words, there was nothing Kamui could do. He let himself be guided to the door.
There was something Fuuma wanted to ask Subaru though, something that had been nagging at him for weeks, something that didn't make any sense. But he wanted to ask the boy privately, and there was no way Seishirou was going to allow that. Whatever hint of graciousness had spurred the other man to let them so deep into his home, Fuuma was wary of upsetting it. Wary of wearing out their welcome.
Still, opportunity presented itself when least expected, and it wasn't until they'd excused themselves to leave that Subaru, in seeing his brother out, somehow ended up close enough for a quick conversation.
"Why didn't you tell Kamui?"
Subaru blinked, not expecting the sudden question, but he didn't ask what Fuuma meant. "Because it wasn't important," he whispered, looking away. "Because I'd never seen Kamui… care for someone so much. I couldn't tell him."
Then he was past the boy, any chance for further explanation whisked away, and the answer hadn't relieved the trouble at all. The boy's reasoning made no sense. Surely Subaru would have wanted to warn Kamui about what Fuuma had done, would have wanted to take Kamui away from him. But the boy hadn't said a word. He had let Kamui find out on his own.
The problem, Fuuma decided, was that he really didn't understand Subaru at all.
The next second he had stopped next to Kamui as Seishirou opened the door, seeing them out, and Fuuma put the matter aside.
"Next time I hope you'll send prior notice of your visit." Seishirou watched them, amber eyes sharp.
"Next time?" Fuuma raised an eyebrow.
"Clearly there's no stopping you, and it's easier if I'm here to let you in." The trouble, Seishirou thought, was that the two of them were now powerful enough to pose a real problem. He might have viewed taking on one of them as something of a challenge, but two would drastically cut any chance of succeeding. And unfortunately, what couldn't be properly disposed of… had to be endured.
The annoying thing about guests knowing where to find them, Seishirou thought, was that they had a real habit of wearing out their welcome.
The door closed after them with a smug little click.
"Your grandmother was right. To hide you as she did." Fuuma spread his fingers over pale skin, marveling at the pulse he could feel, marveling at how the boy stretched willingly into his touch now, all that power bending at his will. Amazing how things could change in a short few weeks. Intoxicating.
For a moment he examined the body, like fine porcelain, before him, and contemplated the echo of Subaru's earlier words, an answer he hadn't expected. The opinion of one young boy, to be sure, but… Subaru had known somehow what was at stake, what might be lost if he warned Kamui what Fuuma had done. Fuuma hadn't realized, not then. But now he could see—in his quest to go after Seishirou, he had almost lost something of far more value.
A mistake he wouldn't make again.
"There would have been no end to the trouble—people wanting to destroy you, people wanting to control you," Fuuma said conversationally.
"Mm," Kamui replied, which might or might not have been agreement. It was questionable whether the boy was even paying attention, stretching up blindly as he was into Fuuma's hands.
"But this won't be a problem now," Fuuma continued. "No one will ever take you away. No one will destroy you."
Kamui stilled at that and raised an ironic eyebrow. "Am I not with someone who wants to destroy me already?"
Still coherent, Fuuma noted. Something would have to be done about that. Then he pondered the boy's question and chuckled darkly. "Perhaps you are."
"You're worried about your brother…" Seishirou didn't look particularly pleased by this observation. Subaru had been wearing that far-off expression ever since Kamui's visit, and it was like Subaru to worry about everyone else first.
"No," Subaru turned startled emerald eyes on him, and at Seishriou's doubtful expression, smiled reassuringly. "Just thinking."
"I'm surprised you let that man keep him."
"Monou-san," Subaru paused for words, still smiling. "He'll keep Kamui safe. I think he understands now…" Seishirou considered this for a second—Subaru's trust in people. He, himself, wasn't quite so quick to forget the threat. But then, the boy wasn't known for being logical…
For some reason, Subaru had said he'd stay—he'd been offered a chance to leave, to not be hidden away, and he'd said no. Not that Seishirou would have allowed the boy to go anyway, but he hadn't expected him to want to stay. Hearing that, something had changed, eased up—some vague tension he hadn't even realized existed until that moment. It was strange…
Kamui wasn't quite such a threat anymore.
Of course, there was still a mile of polite distance between them. Seishirou eyed the span of bedspread separating them and was suddenly tired of waiting for the boy to close it. In the end he leaned forward and kissed that smile away, intentionally pulling the startled boy closer just as first light broke the horizon…
So that any possible protest was stolen by the dawn and Subaru slumped bonelessly against him afterward, falling asleep in his arms.
Author Note: That's it! It's done! I still can't believe it's done. I thought it would never end. There's something sad about finishing a story, about knowing that you'll never get to work with the characters again quite as they are now. Awhile ago I contemplated making a sequel, so that all the residual hostilities could fade and Kamui could deal with Hinoto (I even foreshadowed it at the beginning of this chapter with Kamui's dream)—Hinoto and all her people seem to be the one big thing not efficiently wrapped up here (noted by my beta)—but that's not going to happen now. I don't want to start something else I know won't be finished.
Looking back, it's easier to see how many mistakes I made in writing this story. Writing the last chapter, I realized just how off Fuuma's character was. And there are things next time that I'd explain better or do differently. There was supposed to be an indication earlier that Subaru knew something he wasn't telling anyone, but with trying to keep track of everything else, I forgot. In the end, I think I learned a lot from writing this, both about the characters and about novels (Whee! TF is officially novel-length!). Ultimately this was a learning experience, and considering I started writing this only having read the series once through beforehand, it's understandable that I didn't get everything right the first time through.
Considering, I am shocked by how popular this story is. And thrilled. It's the eighth longest X fic on right now, or the 6th longest if you discount fics in other languages (and considering there are 2400-some stories, that's saying something), not to mention only the second English fic over the 60k mark to be completed. I feel accomplished! ^_^
I think I got all the questions answered. I don't know, did I get all the questions answered? O_O If not, I guess it's too late now…
Anyway, a HUGE thanks to my Beta, Schnickledooger, for sticking with me this long! She's the greatest!
And a great deal of thanks to all my reviewers! We love you!
Review Responses:
Schnickledooger: It's true. I didn't make Subaru insane-insane. I didn't want him bouncing around throwing flowers everywhere or anything. It was difficult to find a good balance on the insanity thing, and I think next time I won't do it. However, it did accomplish my design, to get Subaru to express his feelings. But at a price.
Subaru's problem is that he can fight, but he never really does. I definitely appreciated allowing him to go all-out for once. (There were benefits to the insanity. XD)
Unfortunately, I couldn't make Seishirou realize he was in love, because every time I considered the scenario it went all un-canon on me. Getting Subaru to say he loved Sei out loud was a miracle in itself. I think it'd take a sequel to get Sei to admit it.
Alright, I admit, letting Setsuka think for a second she'd been killed by Subaru… priceless. I thoroughly enjoyed that. ^_^
*considers your request* I don't know, was this enough snogging for you? XD Sei and Su actually kissed! They KISSED! Do you know how HARD that was?
On the bright side, guess what? It's DONE! It's all done! You've been such a wonderful Beta! Thank you so much for all your support and for sticking with me till the end! I couldn't have done it without you!
Shinken16: If the last late update scared you… *sweats* Um, I hope you're still reading after this horrendous wait? ^^, But I put extra special effort into getting this story done just for all the amazing number of people who for some crazy reason review it and have it on faves. None of my other stories are going to get finished. T_T I didn't mean to take so long. *flail* But I really struggled with the ending! (maybe that's the problem the real CLAMP artists are having too? ^^, (Okay, no, not really…) I really wish they'd finish X already though.
XD Your love for Nataku amuses me. Um, I really didn't want to have to deal with him in later chapters? Or Seishirou would have hunted him down anyway? I guess I've just seen too many Fu/Nataku stories floating around, and I really can't understand it. Every time I see one, I just want to start tearing out scamp!Fu's hair! It's like a compulsion. Must kill… cheating… Fuuma's… *twitch* Nothing against Nataku, just nothing for him either. He's so unloved!
Secret For Keeps: Aw, I appreciate all the time you took to think about and write such a wonderful review, really! I've really been enjoying your reviews lately. They make me excited, seeing someone asking clever questions and all. Your difficulty with writing fight scenes is mine. I have the same problem. I HATE writing fight scenes. I have no patience for such things. I have no idea how I made it through last chapter. I remember thinking the entire time "this is boring, this is sooo boring." ^^,
Eeeeh, that's probably my fault. In my mind, Kamui and his power are inherently one. It's something that's a part of him. Like I can't think of Subaru without Onmyoujutsu. A Kamui without power would be a tragedy. Heh, I feel kind of silly now, like isn't it obvious that Kamui has power? However, you did hear Seishirou earlier (it's been so long since I've read my own story, I can't even remember what chapter now) say that the products of inter-Family courtships are often unique? Subaru's purebred Sumeragi, but Kamui isn't. (Coming back to this after having worked a little more on the story, I made sure to include this subject in their discussion so that it should be clearer now. Thanks for reminding me!)
Subaru's strange actions… Okay, that one is answered in ch. 13. It's just not very obvious. *blush* Subaru is damaged. Seishirou says it at the beginning of the chapter, after he realizes what Setsuka has done and what the consequences might be. Quote: "If she had stabbed deep enough, long enough, Subaru might have been mentally damaged as well…" I did research into what functions were performed by the brain closest behind the eyes—loss of restraint is one symptom of brain damage. So for the duration of ch. 13, there's nothing holding Subaru back from saying exactly what's on his mind. I enjoyed the freedom, but I think I messed up the character, and for that reason I learned from this experience not to do it again. ^^,
Reading too much into it. XD I like to take bits and pieces from the actual books. Sometimes too much.
Nekoi: You've been so patient and faithful! The nice thing about these last chapters is that the characters have now realized what's important to them, and the couples have become… well, more coupley. ^^, I'm afraid it's taken me quite awhile to update this time. I deserve to be flambéed. But at least you won't have to worry about any further delays now that it's done.
It never fails. Inevitably all the best fics are left incomplete. I mean, it'd be nice if the authors were at least kind enough to leave a summary of the ending so you could console yourself with thoughts of how it would have all played out.
akuma-river: Oh good. XD Gah, I hate figuring out honorifics! What would they say in this situation or that situation. Too many changes! Any Japanese readers must think I'm an idiot! ^^, Sometimes I think it would be easier to just leave the names in English. (It wouldn't be so bad if Seishirou wasn't so polite!)
Fan-fan31: Considering that there are at least 6 other people who reviewed later than you, I'd say you're not so late after all. ^_^ Besides, clearly your review is worth waiting for! It always makes me feel good when people notice how much work gets put into a thing. I'm particularly glad the fight seems to have turned out better than I thought.
Unfortunately, Subaru isn't going to need an eyepatch. XD Fortunately?
angel-kamui: You know, it's true. I really wish there was a vamp twins author out there, a really good one. It's the one area no one has really written for. Oh, sure, there are a couple people doing one-shots. A couple really good one-shots even, but I've only ever seen one person write an actual story for them that was really good, and even then it only has 4 chapters to date and the author has never written anymore. T_T
Leuv: They can rest now. *nod, nod* Well, Sei and Su's relationship really isn't any less abusive. Maybe not so physically, but is mental abuse any different? I think there's a lot more to Fu and Kam than just physical mauling, but it's hard to see. I really like reading about them. Maybe because it fascinates me to put myself in their shoes and try to see their side of it, why they do what they do. With the death of Kotori, I'd say Fu and Kam look like a pairing to me, but I can understand. Subaru actually said he loves Sei in-story, whereas neither Fu nor Kam ever has. So I can see why people might not consider them canon. I really think that you can only really see all four characters when they're together. For instance, there are questions only Subaru would think to ask Fuuma, and answers Fuuma would only ever give Subaru. When those two are together, they can sometimes reveal things about each other that their true counterparts can't. Kamui would never think to ask those questions. Seishirou would never give a straight answer. You really do need all four. ^_^
LeiCross: Thank you! XD I put a lot of time into those fight scenes to try to make up for any lack of ability. Apparently it is possible to overcome your weaknesses. ^^ TMM? O.o What's that? I tried looking it up, but I got everything from The Mythical Man Month to Testing Maturity Model.
Fascen: I'm sorry you've had to wait so long! I never really gave up on this story, I just got a little sidetracked? ^^, Anyway, now you have the end!
Fayah: *laughs* Too bad that scenario would have to be written Crack. I don't think I could pull it off with angst. But can you imagine the look on Sei's face! XD I wonder what he would do? I'm alternating between thinking he'd be upset that something was messing with Subaru's usually pacifistic nature and thanking he'd just join in destroying the world. ^^,
AnimeFantasy101: Thank you. It makes me so happy that people enjoy my stories. Truthfully, there's another amazing writer out there named Akk, who's written a story called Family Matters for X. For all the time I put into writing (hours and hours), I always feel like I don't put half as much time into it as Akk, who studies historical events in Japan to make sure her plot lines up with them and mapped the setting of her story to a real place in Japan. Akk put so much work into that story, it astounds me. I'm not quite that thorough when it comes to fanfiction. ^^,
Burgundy eyes: WOAH! Okay, forgive me, I might be a little selective about answering all those reviews! XD I was actually here the day you wrote most of those, watching them come in one by one and cringing every time you hit a chapter I was particularly worried about. There are so many problems with this story. I didn't see them as I was writing, but looking back now they seem glaringly obvious.
Your first X vamp fic? Well, there aren't very many out there. I've been happily filling in the lack. There are two I'd recommend though. Untitled by midnightinthegarden (Fu/Kam, and I hope I'm remembering the name right) and Worlds Fall Apart by Sakurazukamori6 (in the TRC section, Sei/Su, Fu/Kam). Don't be fooled by the weird beginning of the second one, it gets good. ^_^
As for your chapter 3 question, the past is a little bit complicated and I really had a hard time trying to explain it without bogging down the plot with backstory. I think you've read far enough now to know that Seishirou never actually attacked Su and Kam (though I wanted it to look that way, and from the twins' perspective it seems so too). But yes, there are two separate instances: the night they were attacked at Hokuto's, and the night their mother died.
Actually, it did occur to me that being kept underground wasn't a good idea, but I happened to know it wouldn't be long enough to matter, and truthfully, even if he hadn't been about to be turned into a vampire, I figured Sei would probably let him walk around outside once he was sure the boy wasn't going to leave.
Oh, good catch on the grammatical error in 5! It's rare for someone to be able to point out a spelling mistake! I feel sort of stupid for not catching that. XD But I'm not perfect…
And another prime example of not being perfect in ch. 7. ^^, One thing I really HATE about writing is timeline and figuring out which inventions were available and which weren't. I distinctly remember thinking that I should look that up when I mentioned zippers, but at the time I was just trying to get the thing posted, and it was fanfiction, so I threw my hands in the air over a matter I clearly shouldn't have given up on. ^_^
A lot of people asked that actually. I never meant to make it look like Subaru didn't care about Kamui. I was actually afraid that with Kamui worrying so much about Subaru their relationship would look like something other than brotherly concern, and in my worry perhaps, took out one too many references to Subaru's side of it.
Nachan: Wow, that's a lot to read so quickly! ^_^ If you just read it, you're lucky. Some people have been waiting a year for this. *embarrassed* I can't believe it took me so long to end it!
Having Setsuka impersonate Satsuki solved two stones at once: Satsuki's death and how Yuuto was going to die. I admit to being particularly attached to the idea of Satsuki killing Yuuto. I'm horrible like that. ^^,