"This… this is… what the fuck, how do I V.A.T.S.?" Dan asked in an enraged tone.
"What are you talking about?" Piper inquired, slowly picking off the low-ranked Brotherhood members.
"I… ugh, nevermind." Dan said, infuriated, realizing he would actually have to aim at his opponents. He stared down the sight of his rifle, and took a few pot-shots throughout the alley. He managed to graze the limbs of a few initiates, but it was largely Piper who finished them off.
As time went on, however, Dan felt a sudden surge of adrenaline course through his body. Each shot was like a burst of pure energy, pushing him to keep fighting. His shots grew more focused, and he began to hit Brotherhood soldiers in their torsos and heads. The savage excitement of combat had enveloped him as he mindlessly slew several soldiers. For a time, the work felt effortless. He killed soldier after soldier, levelling up along the way. Such excitement was cut short, however, as a sole vertibird flew directly above the duo.
A Brotherhood Knight – clad in a polished set of T-60 power armor – dropped from the vertibird, landing menacingly upon the cold ground. In the knight's hands was a combat shotgun, which she pointed squarely at Dan's chest. Still in the midst of his combat high, Dan returned her threatening stance by directing his rifle between her eyes. The knight stared Dan down, and soon her voice rose to meet his challenge.
"And what the feck do ya think yer doin', exactly?" the knight rhetorically asked in a forced Irish brogue.
"Oh, no way…" Dan gasped in disbelief, "Oh no fucking way."
"And what're ye having such a hard time believin'?" the knight asked, exaggerated, "Put yer feckin' gun down now!"
Dan lowered his gun, "So that's Cait, right?" he asked Piper, pointing at the Brotherhood knight.
"Ugh," Piper groaned, "I should've known she'd be here. So what're you doing out in the field, Cait? Dicksmash finally grow tired of you?"
"Sounds like yer jealous, love." Cait saucily replied.
"You… little… bitch!" Piper replied behind a clenched jaw, raising her revolver.
"Woah!" Dan shouted, "Did you just… swear?" Dan looked back and forth between the two women. Suddenly, an idea dawned upon him. It was not an idea he was particularly proud of, but – based on his countless hours spent in the Commonwealth wasteland – it was one that would work.
"No, wait!" Dan replied, pressing his hand against Piper's arm. "I think – I think I might have an idea."
Piper looked at Dan, curious as to what he was hinting at. Dan spent a moment considering what he was about to do. He first looked at Piper, then at Cait, and then at Piper again. Given the situation, the choice was obvious. Still, he was unhappy for what he was about to do.
"I – I think I have a way out of this." Dan reluctantly told Piper, "Just please – please – promise to forgive me."
Piper squinted at Dan, and then nodded her head in compliance.
"You sure you know what you're doing?" she asked.
Dan looked down and sighed, and then looked back at Piper.
"Unfortunately." he answered. He then turned towards Cait, "Hey, Paddy!"
Cait responded, lifting her head and gun to Dan. Dan quickly opened his Pimp Boy before she could shoot, speedily scrolling to the inventory screen. He made his way into "apparel," and swiftly unequipped all of his articles of clothing. Once done, he spent another moment making sure this was the right decision. After a deep, contemplative breath, he realized that this what for the best. He closed his Pimp Boy, and prepared for the worst.
"I'm naked!" Dan bellowed, frantically running up and down the alley to draw Cait's attention.
[Cait Liked That]
"Uh…" Piper pondered in a voice full of confusion, disgust, and a hint of jealousy.
"Naked!" Dan shouted again, running laps around the thirsty Gaelic (possibly Hibernian) knight. He saw an innocent ghoul behind a dumpster, cowering from the Brotherhood onslaught. Dan grabbed the ghoul by his collar and dragged him into the street, making sure Cait could see.
"I am so sorry." Dan muttered to the ghoul before promptly socking him in the face.
[Cait Loved That]
"Dan!" Piper shouted in clear frustration.
"Look at me! I'm an asshole!" Dan shouted, continuing to streak throughout Goodnieghbor, "I do horrible things to people for no good reason! Hey, ghoul!" Dan said, addressing the ghoul he had just assaulted, "Fuck you, ghoul!" he said, punching the ghoul in the face for a second time.
[Piper Disliked That]
[Cait Loved That]
[Cait Admires You]
"Naked!" Dan proceeded to shout, sprinting directly in front of Cait. He put his hands behind his head, and began to thrust his pelvis at the knight, "Naked, naked, naked!"
[Cait Liked That]
[Cait Liked That]
[Cait Idolizes You]
The back of Cait's power armor opened, and she stepped out from the hulking mass of metal.
"Oh Christ, just take me, fucker!" Cait exclaimed, jumping on top of the nude Dan. Her arms and legs wrapped around the protagonist, sending him toppling to the ground.
"P – Piper – Help, please…" Dan begged, forcefully pegged onto the street. Piper slowly made her way over to him, judgmentally glaring at his helpless body.
"You sure you need help?" Piper sarcastically asked.
"Okay, I did not consent to this." Dan replied.
""Oh really?" Piper questioned, "I mean, you were running around naked…"
"Not the time for slut-shaming, Piper!" Dan cried, "And seriously, she won't stop humping me, so…"
"Cait!" an unknown voice beckoned. Dan looked up and saw a vertibird directly above, its a flood light shining over him and Cait. Two characters hopped down from the vehicle, landing a few feet from Dan. The shockwave from their landing rippled through Dan's head and back, making him feel woozy. Dan's eyelids grew heavy, and his will to fight began to subside.
One knight was wearing the same Brotherhood armor as Cait, while the other was in a set of flashy blue X-01 armor. In his hands he gripped a similar combat rifle to Dan's.
"N – Nuka Cola…" Dan muttered, feeling his consciousness fading, "Nuka Cola…"