Chapter 14: What Big Teeth You Have

Lucille was getting sick of this café. She had seen it so often during her time here that she had the layout memorised. Her seat, too, was hard and uncomfortable. But she put up with it. She had nothing better to do today and she was eager to talk, despite how she left things a few days ago. The cool air blew through her hair gracefully. It was swept back behind her ears, falling down to her shoulders. That was how she wore it now. It was not a drastic change in appearance, but one that had only taken effect after she settled into life in the city. The Wolf walked up a few minutes later. He wore only his white shirt, open at the collar, his denims and boots. The top of his own hair was gelled up again. He looked good, considering, though it was possible he just wanted to give the illusion that he was doing alright. They all knew he wasn't. Even Lagoon Company, who had no prior knowledge of his strife, had been told, presumably by Revy. It was a surprise to them, to hear the almost invincible assassin had gone down a path so dark it almost consumed him. He took a seat across from Lucille, who offered a friendly smile by way of greeting.

"You look well," she told him.

"You mean after everything?" he asked. She tried to be evasive about it, fearing she would hurt his feelings.

"Well, no, not exactly." He raised his eyebrows. "Alright, I'm not a good liar, then."

"I'm fine." Neither was he, apparently. That couldn't have been further from the truth. He looked distracted, glancing around him lackadaisically.

"Hey," Lucille spoke softly, grabbing his attention once more. "I know you'd never say it in front of Revy or the others, but you can tell me if you're hurting." His expression relaxed a bit more, though he did not seem any more prepared to share with her. "I'll tell you right now I feel like shit."

"It's fine, you don't have to ask me just to be nice."

"I'm not," she assured him. "We were both out there, we saw what the worst of each of us had to offer. No hiding it from one another, is there?" He nodded, still silent and unwilling to share. This was a strange state he was in, an almost refreshing but troubling paradox. Before, he had always been the one to give advice and comfort others. There were more times than he could count when he had spoken to Rock and Revy about their own demons in an attempt to help them feel better. Now, though, it was him who was in that position, vulnerable and unable to deal with his own state of being. He needed the comfort and the guidance he was usually so generous with. Lucille was no expert in that area, but she was happy to do what she could.

"Well…," he began slowly, clearly uncomfortable opening up, "…I dunno, I'm not…okay, I suppose? God, you make this hard, you know that? Obviously, I'm not okay. That was a dark few days I had. Darker than most. Reminded me of the first time I killed, actually. I spent a lot of nights with the barrel of my gun against the side of my head. Pulled the trigger once." Lucille frowned more out of concern than judgement. "Forgot to load it, thankfully. I was too jittery and panicked." He laughed to himself. "But I'll be okay, you know? I just have to get back to that place I was in when I came here. I didn't give a shit. Nothing bothered me about this life. That wasn't a way of coping, it sort of…eliminated a need to cope altogether. Let's hope I get back there."

"You will," Lucille told him, clutching her cup of tea tightly, its warmth spreading through her pale hands. "You're a hard man to figure out, but you're no quitter. Even if it takes a year, you'll get back to normal. You'll be out killing again in no time." It was intended as a joke, but Wolf did not laugh as much as he normally would have. There was doubt in his eyes still, and worry.

"What about you, then?" he asked. "That was…well, it was a pretty brutal fight with that lad in the village." Lucille sipped her tea, possibly in some ill-conceived attempt to postpone the conversation she was about to have. She set down her cup and looked around the area.

"It was, huh?"

"Fucking-A, it was," the assassin exclaimed.

"Just…doing what I had to do." Wolf didn't look so convinced. "I've been here for months now. Never felt like a part of the city until now. That was…unnecessary, I know. I can still hear Apollo screaming in pain. But it was some attempt to make the journey easier. I've always killed people, it was my job. But it's different now. I don't kill in combat, gunning down terrorists or fanatics to try and stop them doing another 9/11. Now it's just killing for the sake of it. You kill to get paid or to keep yourself safe. The way I killed Apollo…that was to give me a taste of what it's going to be like if I stay here, if I live like this." Wolf nodded. He understood that better than most. Rewind a few years and he was nothing like the man that sat at the café right now. It took Sif and her relentless training to turn him into what he was now. "When Revy kills, she does it with a fucking smile on her face. I don't know how she does it."

"She's a special kind of monster," he said. It was nice to relax. After the week they had had, they desperately needed this talk, this period of time to just sit in the breeze and calm down. Their nerves were shot from the last few days. They could not deal with any more stress. They wanted nothing more than to live in peace for a while. When the time came, they would get back to work. But for now, they were both broken. They needed to be put back together, perhaps by one another.

"He kept calling me Red Riding Hood," Lucille said then, making no attempt to hide how absurd she thought that was. Wolf snickered.

"Not a bad name," he said, pointing to her hair. Indeed, it almost gave the impression she was wearing a hood now that she no longer wore it in a ponytail. Her hand almost involuntarily fell on his as she left it down from her face.

"Little Red and the Big Bad Wolf," she mused. "Quite the mismatched pair."

"I don't bite," he told her, a roguish smile appearing on his face, more reminiscent of the old Wolf who had come to Roanapur with death in his eyes. "I promise."