Alrighty, Here is the next chapter of Beautifully Broken...I would just like to thank everyone who has commented and left feeback on this story, it really means a lot to me because writing is a passion of mine and to know that others enjoy it makes me happy! Lol...anywho keep up the wonderful feedback and here is the next chapter (Oh, and I think I've forgotten to add a Disclaimer on her along the way so here it is: I do not own the characters or Instant Star, I merely own the plot and idea of which this story is being told :D)
P.S I'm quite fond of this chapter for some odd reason...
If anything, Tommy was extremely frustrated, laying on his king size bed. Here this girl…woman…whom he hadn't seen in years comes waltzing back in his life and flips his world upside down. And it was driving him crazy. Utterly insane. Of course that's what Jude always had done to him. It didn't matter how much time had passed. She was still Jude, and he was still Tommy
It had been hours since their lunch encounter, and Tommy was still left reeling at everything Jude had confessed. She still loved him, and there was no doubt in his mind he loved her still. Even after all the time apart. He only wished he could've told her at least once how he truly felt for her before he up and left Toronto…if she would have even heard him out. The short time when the two of them had truly and really been together, although it was in secret, had been the happiest time for Tommy. No one compared to Jude…not even Angie.
Sighing, he ran a hand through his chocolate locks and glanced at his wrist watch. Ashley was due home any minute now and she had called him a little while ago mumbling something about a dinner. Tommy was really in no mood to go anywhere. He wanted nothing more than to just sit alone in the dark and wallow in his own self pity and rethink how his life had lead him to where he was now.
Of course Ashley wouldn't allow it. She would make him go out with her come hell or high water. And that was one of the many things he liked about her. No wasn't an option for her. There were actually many things he liked about her, but the only problem was…she wasn't Jude.
"Stop," Tommy muttered to himself, squinting his eyes closed to keep the headache he felt coming at bay. "Stop comparing Ashley to Jude. That isn't fair to her."
And it was the truth. For as long as they'd been together he'd done it often. On many different occasions he found himself thinking how Jude would have looked in a dress Ashley wore, or how she might have sounded in the heat of the moment. Tommy always berated himself afterwards, but it was like he couldn't help it. Jude had been his world…she still was…too bad she didn't know that. Because like always he had been chicken shit and left when the going got tough.
Like Jude said, he'd given up on them without really giving them a chance.
He wasn't patient.
Damn him for all of his foolishness…
Jude opened the door to her suite and immediately made her way to the bed flopping down onto it. If she hadn't been wrapped in her own little world, she might have noticed things quite out of place and men shoes strewn in the sitting area, but she hadn't.
"Why do I let him do this to me?" Jude mumbled to herself.
Suddenly a figure jumped onto the bed next to her, "Who did what to you?"
Shrieking in fright and sitting straight up, Jude slapped the blonde man upside the head and then placed her hand over her heart, "Damn it Speid! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"
"Sorry Dude, I've been waiting to see you for hours. The guys and I flew in around noon." Speiderman shrugged as if being in her hotel room was nothing.
"Wait…what? You and the guys? What are you doing here?" Jude asked, confused, "and WHAT are you doing in my room?"
Speid smirked, "It just so happens that the bell boy is a huge fan of yours and I told him if he let me in, I'd snag a pair of your panties for him. I hope you weren't to fond of the pink thongs."
"SHUT UP!" Jude laughed, once again slapping Speid upside the head, "You did not."
"Maybe, maybe not. But anyways, we're hear because it turns out, MTV called Darius and they pretty much begged and pleaded the big cheese into you performing one concert while you're here. And you know D…he never says no to money." Falling backward onto the bed, Speid smugly added, "Besides, how could we let you enjoy the big ole city to yourself without us? Who else could incite such chaos."
"That's exactly what I was trying to avoid," Jude rolled her eyes, slumping her shoulders, "A concert? Really? Do I have to?"
Speid nodded, "What D wants, D gets."
Exhaling loudly, Jude stood and walked to her suitcase, "I thought I was on vacation. I knew there was going to be a catch."
"Don't whine too much. It's one concert at Times Square…for one night. You know you wanna do it," he explained, sitting back up, "what are you doing?"
"Yeah, I guess," she shrugged, then tossed her bag of makeup at him, "I'm going to dinner tonight what does it look like I'm doing?"
"Dinner with who? I am so there," Speiderman perked up, rubbing his stomach for emphasis, "I'm starved, the last time I ate was two hours ago!"
Jude chuckled, "Oh, poor baby. It's with some lady I met. I don't know, she seemed nice enough, and it might be nice to go out to dinner on the town. Last night Mason and I hit up good old faithful Denny's."
Nodding with approval, Speid grinned, "Those grand slams are something else. Anyways, can I go? Maybe I could get the chance to hook up with a hot chick."
"No!" Jude screeched, throwing a shoe at him he was barely able to dodge, "Besides she has a boyfriend. Or at least that's what she said in the cab. What about Kyle, Wally, and Mase? I can't walk into a nice restaurant with a horde of men."
"Oh, come on. It's just a friendly gathering. I promise we'll all be perfect angels for you Jude," Speid lowered his voice and batted his lashes horrendously wrong, "Please."
Giggling at the face he was making and grabbing her cell phone, she nodded. "Okay, I'm calling her to see if she won't mind. You better keep your promise Speid. Just remember I know many of your deepest darkest secrets."
"Oooh, I'm so scared Harrison."
"Okay, she said they'd be here already," Jude called over her shoulder at the guys following her into the restaurant. Somewhere behind her she heard 'ooooh fancy' and she shook her heard, smiling happily. It was actually nice to have the guys with her because she had had no time to fret and worry over what had happened earlier that day with a one Tommy Quincy, and for that she would always be grateful. Plus, she loved hanging out with her guys. Yes they were her guys. No matter what. And at that thought she smiled widely.
Upon entering the high class building they followed the host immediately to a large table, almost cut off from the rest of the bistro. Jude immediately recognized Ashley and waved .
Ashley saw the group and stood to greet them, "Hi! It's good to see you again Jude. Thanks so much for taking me up on my offer. Hello guys, I'm Ashley." She introduced herself, shaking all of their hands.
All the men introduced themselves before taking a seat at the round table. Take a spot next to Ashley, Jude looked to the empty seat and inquired, "Didn't you say your boyfriend would be joining us?"
"He will be," Ashley nodded, "he called me right before you walked in, he was parking his viper. He should be here any minute now," she rolled her eyes before adding, "that man, I swear. Sometimes I think he loves that car more than me."
The smile on Jude's face diminished in size slightly, the memory of a very vivid blue viper and its proud owner suddenly flashing through her mind, "Yeah," she spoke lowly, "sounds like someone I used to know. Boys and their toys." Looking around the table, Jude noticed all of the guys engrossed in the bread sticks already supplied for them on the table.
Ashley nodded in understanding and before she had the chance to say anything else her eyes focused on the entry and her face lit up in a blinding smile, "There he is."
Jude followed Ashley's line of sight and her eyes widened at the man walking towards her, obviously unaware of who he was about to meet with. Next to her, she heard harsh coughing (Speid might have been choking on his bread stick, eh, oh well) and then felt a sharp nudge in her ribs.
"Holy shit! Lord Squinty Frown," Speid stated in a shocked, almost horrified whisper in Jude's ear.
Her eyes still trained on Tommy, Jude only nodded slowly and watched as his demeanor drastically changed recognizing all the familiar faces surrounding the tables…his stride almost coming to a complete halt.
Ashley, unaware of the sudden quiet that had overtaken the table, stood once again to give her boyfriend a loving hug and kiss. Grabbing his hand, she led Tom to the table. Still grinning she took her seat and finally noticed all the wide eyes and questioning stares pointed mainly tpward Tom. Clearing her throat she started, "This is Tom…"
"Lil Fucking Tommy Q," Kyle blurted loudly, earning him a swift kick in the shin from Wally and a stern glare from Tommy. "Sorry, man," Kyle winced lowly speaking to all at the table except Ashley and Tom, "just surprised is all."
Mason rolled his eyes and cast a worried glance Jude's way, aware of the sudden paleness in her skin color the tense posture. This was not good. Not good at all.
"Fans?" Ashley laughed, curious and surprised Tom hadn't put the kid in place calling him the dreaded nickname.
There were a few strangled laughs and not-so-subtle coughs to cover them up. "Psh, hardly," Wally smirked, shaking his head. Someone was feeling ballsy…
"I'm assuming you know each other already, then?" Ashley inquired taking in the awkward silence.
"Yeah, we've met," Jude lowly said, her voice barely audible, avoiding Tommy's eyes.
"A long time ago," Tommy added not believing this was actually happening. Was it not only 6 hours ago Jude had told him she never wanted to see him again, yet here she was. Sitting next to his girlfriend, planning on having dinner with him.
This had to be some sick joke.
But it wasn't, and Tommy was stuck to endure the stares from his previous artists…all five of them, and boy did he notice every single one of them. Turning his attention toward Ashley, he croaked, "Nice restaurant choice babe."
Ashley shrugged, still curious and very intrigued in the history this table of strangers held with her boyfriend of two years. "How do you know each other, if you don't mind me asking." Ashley smiled once again, taking in all of the looks of her guests.
"It's nothing really," Jude said strongly and loudly, "We all used to work in the same building, years ago in Canada. Tommy was a producer there."
Studying the younger girl as she spoke, Ashley simply grinned taking in every facial expression and the tone of her voice. There was something else there. There was a different history…a different story…maybe something complicated. Why was everyone so quiet and uncomfortable all of a sudden. Glancing at Tommy, she observed the way he was staring intently at the blonde. And there was something in his eyes she had never seen before…
What was going on?
Jude sat taking in deep breaths, silently panicking on the inside. Why? Why? WHY? Of all the women to meet in New York, of the millions crammed into such a tiny dot on a map, how in the hell did she run into Tommy's girlfriend. Life was cruel and unjust to her sometimes. 'It's okay, you can do this Jude. Just forget Tommy is sitting a few feet away from you and have an enjoyable dinner. Be strong. Don't be immature. Get through this dinner and go back to hotel and get a good night's rest' Jude thought to herself. She could feel those alluring eyes of his on her, but she refused, REFUSED, to give in. Everything was fine. Perfect. Just perfect.
"What can I get you to drink?" The waitress couldn't have arrived at a better time for anyone at the table.
Everyone voiced their drink orders, except for Jude, who had still been lost in her thoughts, but Tommy's strong, deep voice snapped her out of it when she heard him order for her.
"Her favorite is an ice tea, with little ice and four slices of lemon," Tommy answered the server nonchalantly, as if he ordering for Jude was a norm of his and he did it often.
Jude gawked, finally looking at Tommy. "You remembered?" She asked in astonishment, not believing he remembered her favorite drink and how she liked it. It was something so small. Not even her dad could ever remember. Suddenly a small smile flickered across her lips.
His eyes met hers and he returned the grin. "Of course," he softly replied, locking gazes with her.
Someone's throat clearing broke their connection and Jude quickly looked away. Okay…on second thought everything was NOT perfect. She could feel the butterflies already multiplying and the longing that could only be associated with Quincy pulsing through her entire being. The yearning to be near him and listen to his soothing voice was raging and she had only been near him for ten minutes. What the hell was wrong with her. Hadn't she just told him she never wanted to see him? That he couldn't be apart of her life? Ugh!
"What was that Tom?" Ashley asked with a raised eyebrow, a sudden contemptness in her voice.
Jude quickly looked at her and silently cursed herself. She had gazed into this woman's boyfriend's eyes only seconds ago. Right in front of her.
Okay, she had to get out of there.
Like right now.
For a fleeting a moment, Jude realized this would be the third outing she would find herself hastily escaping from in as little as two days.
Life was funny like that. Tommy had always been the one to run in a sticky situation. And yet, here Jude was, getting ready to jam because she didn't want to deal with it. She did learn from the master after all.
"You know what," Jude said suddenly to everyone, "I totally forgot I was supposed to call Darius. Tonight. And, um…"
"Set up the concert," Speid added, knowing what Jude was doing and figured he'd be a good friend and bail her out. "Yeah I totally forgot about it too, Dude."
"Exactly," Jude smiled, relieved for once. Standing abruptly she grabbed her hand bag and looked at Ashley. "I'm really sorry, but my boss is such a stiffler and if I don't get this taken care of I'm sure he'd never be as kind as to give me another vacation. It was nice to meet you." Walking backwards, she threw her head towards the entry, "I'll be going now. You guys can stay, Bye again Ashley," pausing a moment she looked at Tommy, his eyes filled with sorrow, pleading her to just stay. How she wished she could, "Tommy…it was…uh, um, yeah I gotta go."
Still walking backward and still staring into Tommy's eyes, Jude bumped into another dining table harshly and quickly turned the right way around. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment and she hurried out of the quaint restaurant.
Mason was the next to stand, "We should probably get going then too. Jude might need our help…come on guys."
The boys of SME grumbled. "But food," Wally muttered with disappointment. They too stood, said their goodbyes and made their way outside.
Ashley was silent, trying to comprehend and understand what just happened and turned to talk to Tommy and realized he was still staring at the door where Jude had exited a few moment earlier. "Tom?"
He shook his head and looked at Ashley, not noticing her questioning demeanor, grabbed his wallet and took out a few bills. Handing them to her, he lied, "Hey actually they just reminded me I was supposed to set up the studio for a new artist. I have to go."
"But…" Ashley started, becoming irritated.
"Bye," was all Tommy muttered, hastily standing and leaving. No explanation really, no kiss, no nothing. Just 'Bye.'
"So that wasn't quite the dinner experience I was hoping for" Ashley sighed to herself, standing from the now abandoned table. Shaking her head in disappointment, she straightened the elegant black dress adorned on her small frame and shyly looked around trying to keep the tears of heart break at bay. Biting her lip she silently cursed herself. She was overreacting. It was just coincidence they left at the same time. It was just coincidence they knew each other...But the way he looked at her...that was a way Tommy NEVER looked at Ashley, and that, that was no coincidence.
Tommy rushed outside and found all of the Toronto friends getting into a cab and he quickly hailed down one of his own. Slamming the door shut, he threw a fifty dollar bill at the driver, "Follow that cab right there. Thanks man."
Fifteen minutes. That's how long it took them to get to a large, expensive hotel. That's how long Tommy had to mull things over in his head…to decide what he was going to say to her. Getting out of the taxi, he stealthily followed all of them into the hotel and down a few corridors. Staying a safe distance back, he noticed how defeated Jude looked and the worried glances the men around her were throwing before going into their own rooms, leaving Jude alone in the corridor.
She was just about to enter her room when Tommy shouted her name. She froze instantly at his voice and he jogged up to her.
Turning around slowly, they were only a few feet away and the electricity between them at an all time high.
"What are you doing here," Jude tiredly breathed, intrigued with his appearance before her.
"I'm here for you."
Knitting her eyes in confusion, she asked, "What?"
"I need to talk to you."
"Tommy, we already…"
"No," He interrupted, moving closer. That magnetic pull that was Jude Harrison pulling him in. He knew it was wrong. They both had someone else, but he just had to be near her. He'd missed it so much and he planned on being as close as possible as he could. "We didn't talk. There were some things I still need to tell you. Things I never got the chance to before"
Rubbing her forehead in exhaustion, Jude vigorously shook her head, trying to clear it. It wasn't helping with Tommy being so close. Why couldn't he back up just a little? "Maybe it's better to leave some things left unsaid."
"It's never better that way," Tommy's voice was now lower, and he was now close enough to capture her plump red lips with his own.
Jude's eyes fluttered shut. His intoxicating smell overwhelming her. What was he doing? Had she not made herself clear enough this morning. She had to think straight. She had to get him away.
"Tom…"
Once again he interrupted what she was saying…only this time it was with a kiss. It took Jude only a second to give into the softness of his lips and the familiarity of the feeling she got only from kissing Tommy. It only lasted a moment…one beautiful, gentle moment…before Jude pulled away. Tommy rested his forehead against hers and they both breathed deeply. "I love you," he whispered, both of their eyes closed in content.
At his declaration, Jude's eyes snapped open and she harshly pulled away from Tommy. "No, you don't." She'd always wanted to hear those words uttered from his mouth, meant only for her. But not like this. Not standing in a hotel doorway, not when she was trying to get over him. Not when she wanted so desperately to be with him…but knew it couldn't happen for many obvious reasons.
Tommy stared at her in bewilderment. "Yes, I do."
"You have a girlfriend."
"This I know. And I've been thinking about it all night. She's not you Jude. She could never be you."
"I have a fiancee. Tommy…we can't…I can't. We haven't even had a civil conversation since we've ran into each other. What did you expect? I'd run into your arms because you told me you loved me?" Jude exasperatedly sighed, her eyes beginning to water. "I just can't do that. I'm sorry." Hurriedly walking into her room she looked back at his dejected form quickly once more before slamming the door shut .
Tommy stared blankly at the door, breathing in deeply he spoke loudly, "Putting a door between us isn't going to change anything Jude. I know you still feel it too. Everything you feel when we are close. I feel it to…I've always felt it. I'm sorry. I know you're tired of hearing it. But what I'm sorry for most is that I never got to tell you I loved you before I left Toronto. Because I did love you back then, and I still do. That's never, EVER, going to change. I just wanted you to know that. And I know you didn't want me in your life. But I need to be in it. I need you. Jude," Tommy sighed backing away and touched the door with his hand gently, "I do honestly love you. Take that confession and do with it what you want. Please call me." And with that Tom Quincy left the hotel.
Jude had heard everything said through the door and watched Tommy walk away through her peep hole. It wasn't until she was completely sure he was gone that she broke down. "Stop, please just stop doing this to me," Jude cried pounding on the door to her hotel room in anger and frustration. Leaning against it heavily, she slowly slid down the wooden barrier, her tears mingling with the mascara now smudged on her cheek. Tears. More Tears. Damn him.
Lying there on the floor in front of the door almost an hour later, Jude decided to put these disarray of emotions to good use. It was time to write a song. Maybe it would help put things in perspective.
So she scribbled and she wrote, lyrics that had been bothering her all day were finally freed and Jude worked diligently until it was perfect. After hours and an all nighter, Jude rubbed her eyes tiredly and looked at her finished product. "You don't know what you do to me Quincy," She mused to herself, "always were the best inspiration."