Sara and Jeff sat near her urn and listened intently to all of the speeches given about her. Grissom's affected the most and by the end, she was wiping away tears the same as everyone else in the room. She followed Grissom's path after Jeff had wished her well. She found him on the side of the building wiping a stray tear away. Catherine rounded the corner a second later.

"Hey, we're on our way. Are you going to join us?"

"Yes, I will be there soon. I just need a minute or so. I need to collect her urn and take it home."

"May I ride with you? I can help with the pictures and flowers too."

"Sure. I'll meet you inside in a minute." Catherine squeezed his hand and left him be. She saw Jim at the door.

"I'm going to ride with him. He needs a minute so don't let anyone go back there."

"Alright. Think he'll pull out of it?"

"I don't know Jim. I really don't know." Catherine went back inside to talk to the priest. Greg, Nick and Warrick were saying goodbye to the last of the guests. She got them to help bring everything out to Gil's car just as Gil was walking in. He collected the urn and led them to his car. No words were spoken and none were needed. Grissom started the engine and after Catherine joined him in the car, he drove away. Together, the flowers were loaded on his front stoop and the pictures all brought inside. Grissom carefully carried the urn and set it on his dining room table. He gestured toward the front door with a sweep of his arm.

"Have you thought about where to dump her ashes?" To answer, he simply nodded and locked the front door.

"Where are you thinking about?" He opened the car door for her. He shrugged and closed the door to walk around. He wasn't in the mood for talk; that much was obvious. It was also obvious that Catherine was doing her best not to let him retreat within himself. She was now pissed at Sara for leaving him in this state of mind. Anger was immediately followed by guilt.

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At the restaurant, there were about twenty people there. Stories floated past his ears about different things Sara had said and done. The only words he had spoken since arriving was to the waiter and only to order vegetarian meals in her honor. He pulled out the photograph a few more times. He didn't seem to hear anyone talking so Nick leaned in to the center of the table.

"What does he keep looking at?" Nick asked while casting eyes over at the man in question so everyone knew to whom he was referring to.

"It's a picture of him and Sara. She was on his back and kissing his cheek. It looks old; perhaps from when we they met. I've never seen him look so happy."

"Whoa. It looks like they were a lot closer than we all thought." Warrick concluded and the rest of them agreed. Catherine was brave again.

"Hey Gil, what's the story behind that picture?" He pushed his untouched plate away.

"Excuse me." Grissom stood and walked to the host. He pulled out a credit card with instructions to leave it with Catherine after pointing her out. He left without another word. He was feeling suffocated around all of the people and just wanted to be alone. Sara followed him; now very worried.

Catherine stood once she saw where their friend was headed. She started to walk over to him when they pointed at her. The host stopped her pursuit.

"Excuse me Ms. Willows, Mr. Grissom has left his credit card and instructed me to give it to you." She took the small piece of plastic with a huff and returned to her seat. She couldn't leave until the bill was paid.

"What was that?" Greg asked.

"He left me his credit card to pay for this. I'm really worried and I don't think he should be alone right now." She told the table. Brass squeezed her shoulder and tried to reassure her with his words.

"I agree, but he needs some time. I'll check on him in a little bit. He'll be ok." Catherine softly smiled at him though kept stealing glances at the front entrance but managed to get through the meal.

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Gil, knowing that someone would eventually come to his place, went to Sara's instead. He forced himself to stop at home to change and buy some boxes. He packed her kitchen. He took her coffee pot and laptop home with him. He bypassed the flowers and the box that she had personally packed for him. The laptop sat on the coffee table and the coffee pot replaced his in the kitchen. Hers was nicer anyway. He had just sat down with a glass of scotch when the doorbell rang. He sat there for thirty seconds trying to decide if he should ignore it or not. He reasoned that people would leave him alone if he answered it and got rid of the visitor versus having the doorbell ring all night and ruin the buzz he was planning to get.

"Hey, can I come in?" Jim Brass stood there with a solemn face. Grissom shook his head.

"Are you going to start talking anytime soon?" Gil shrugged.

"Are you going to be alright?" Again, Gil shrugged.

"I know it's hard being put in charge of a funeral for someone you care about. If you need to talk or get drunk, let me know." Gil nodded and slowly closed the door to send a message.

"I get it. I'm going now; I'll see you in a day or two." The door closed and locked in his face. Grissom returned to his spot on the couch just staring at the glass he poured. He had seen what drinking during grief does to people and ended up dumping it out with tears running down his face. The next thing he did was put his gun in a drawer so that it would be out of sight, out of mind and went to bed. He made sure to set an alarm to be at work in a few days. Until then, he wasn't planning to do a thing.

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Sara was extremely worried about him. She was right in that he was closing himself off from everyone; but it's much more extreme than she thought. Fear set in when she watched him struggle with the alcohol and then hide the gun. When he finally lay in his bed and fell asleep, she sat next to him relieved that he was still getting some rest.

"Hang in there, Gil. It will get easier." She told him in a quiet voice. She let a tear escape because of his grief. Sara had convinced herself that his grief was all her fault.

"It's not your fault, Sara." She whirled around to see Jeff and rushed him out of the room.

"Why are you here? I thought you weren't going to bother me?"

"Believe it or not Sara, you are in mourning too. I just kept you busy for part of it. The sooner you can snap out your guilt and accept it then the sooner you will be able to help Grissom. You do want to help him, don't you?"

"Of course I do."

"It won't happen as long you think that it's your fault. You need to do it soon. Everyone has a breaking point and he is steadily getting to his. How much longer do you think he can resist the booze or the gun in the drawer?"

"He's stronger than that. I know it."

"When will he start talking again?"

"Not for a while. He wasn't much of a talker before though."

"All I'm saying, is you need to get past this. You made the choice not to let anyone in on your illness, so now you must wait for the acceptance of your sudden death. Gil loves you and it will take a while unless you help him."

"What are you getting at? You said I need to do it soon."

"His days are numbered and I know you don't want to spend the rest of them watching him mourn you."

"How long?"

"Tough to tell. His name is on two different lists. If you can't pull him through this, he might take his own life, but he also is developing prostate cancer. His is aggressive just like yours was."

"How long?" Sara repeatedherself.

"Part of that depends on you. If he doesn't kill himself he will be dead within the year."

"Anything else?"

"I can't tell you that just yet. Help him. Suicides don't go to the same place you do and your souls will never meet again. You are destined to be with him forever. Once you get where you ultimately need to be, you might be able persuade 'the powers that be' to let you be high school sweethearts in your next life or something. When you get to heaven you'll know what I mean."

"There actually is reincarnation?"

"You're missing the big picture here. Do you know how rare it is to find the one soul meant to be with you always? It's about 1/100,000. You and Gil have found each other three times now. Sometimes you married and sometimes you didn't. It's that important that you help him through this so that you can continue to find each other." Sara took in the new information and nodded.

"I will do what I can. Thank you Jeff."

"You're welcome. You can't tell him any of this until he dies."

"Ok. Bye." Jeff disappeared and Sara resumed her watch over him. She sat on the far side of the bed.

"I need you to pull through for me. I love you."

"Love you too." He mumbled in his sleep. Sara kept trying.

"Will you live for me?"

"Yes."

"Don't mourn me."

"Ok."

"Sleep now. We'll talk later."

"Mmkay." He rolled over and his right hand lay open in the middle of the bed. Sara set her hand on top of it and as soon as she did, his fingers curled into a fist. She now fully understood just how important Jeff's words were and how connected they were.