Thank you for the reviews (to those who did review). Here is another chapter. And you should be happy to know that the climax of this story is so close. So close. Thanks to my beta, RyK77, for doing a great job on this. Sorry in advance for the shortness of this story.
Playlist for this chapter:
Further Away by Evanescence
Chapter Fourteen – Further Away
I must have fallen asleep at one point, because, as I open my eyes, I see Esme smiling at me, holding out a plate of spaghetti. I blink my eyes and look around. Nothing has changed; Carlisle, Edward, Emmett and Jasper are still talking, as are Seth and Jacob. But, Rosalie is gone.
"Oh," I whisper. "How long was I asleep?" I ask her. She smiles kindly at me.
"Only a few minutes. I'm sorry I had to wake you; I know you must be tired, but Seth told me you haven't eaten anything all day. And it's almost five," she tells me. I sit up and pull the blanket closer to my shoulders. She frowns. "Are you cold?"
"No," I tell her when I realize I'm not. I frown also. I wasn't cold, yet I wanted the blanket around me. Like it could somehow shield me from everything. I make a move to stand up but Esme gently pushes me back down.
"No, no honey. You can eat on the couch," she tells me, setting down the plate in my lap. I look from the red sauce to the white cushion underneath me, and then back to her.
"I'll ruin it," I tell her. She just shakes her head and gives me a stern look, meaning: 'Don't you dare worry about it.' She walks back into the kitchen, and I look back at my plate. I'm not hungry; I don't want to eat. Yet, I know I can't get away with saying I'm not hungry. So, I take the fork and slowly eat, little by little.
I barely make a dent when I felt like I can't eat any more of it. So I opt for pushing the spaghetti around the plate for a while, the fork scraping against the plate. I know a few people are looking at me, since my fork is the only noise in the living room, but I don't care. Sighing, I drop the fork and stand up, bringing the plate to the kitchen.
"Adalynn, you should eat more," Esme sighs, as she eyes my plate. I shrug.
"Sorry you made so much, it's just I don't feel like eating," I tell her, setting the plate in the sink.
"Are you okay, Adalynn?" She asks me.
"I'm fine," I snap angrily. Then I close my eyes and breathe out, calming myself. "I mean, I'm as okay as someone can be right now," I confided, softer. Esme walks over to my side and pulls me into a hug, and I return it. She is so nice, so motherly. My mom is great, and I love her, but she isn't someone I feel comfortable with hugging. She is such a strong person, she never really shows love, at least not in the way mothers usually do.
"It's okay, Adalynn. I know it's hard." Esme's voice is soothing, and I nod my head against her shoulder.
"If my siblings were there," I whisper out. I can't bring myself to finish the sentence, due to the fear that it is such a big possibility.
"It's okay, they weren't there," she tries to calm me. I pull away from her hug and shake my head.
"It's all my fault. I-I…I'm not…" I slip to the ground and lose it. I sob again and cry, losing all of my control. I had wanted to be strong, to not show how scared, how weak, I feel. But I can't. I feel like a pathetic girl who can't stop crying. Esme sits down on the floor next to me and guides my head into her lap, where she strokes my hair and soothes me.
I know that everyone in the house can hear my cries. I want to shut up; I want someone to shut me up. I'm embarrassed. Five minutes later, my sobs go silent, but my crying doesn't stop. I sit up and Esme clutches my hand, stilling my movements.
"I'm sorry," I whisper to her. She pats my head.
"Don't be. You needed to get that out," she comforts me.
"You really don't need to do this, you don't need to be so kind. I know that I'm weak, and pathetic. I'm not worth all this mess." The house seems to go on mute. There are no sounds, not from upstairs, or the living room.
"Adalynn," Esme whispers, staring wide-eyed at me. "Is that really how you feel?" I think back on my words and realize my mistake. I had slipped; my mask had fallen off my face for a few seconds. I sounded depressed, much more depressed then I should have sounded. I try to find words to explain what I had said but I can't think of any. I stand up quickly.
"I think I should go home, my family must be worried. Seth!" I call as I walk quickly across the floor. I don't look over my shoulder to make sure he is coming. But he appears at my side as I leave the house and closes the door behind us.
He leads me to his mom's car, which we had used to drive here. I jump in quickly, slamming the door shut. We drive to my house in silence. Seth says nothing, and I offer no conversation.
When we pull up to my driveway, I see that our door is fixed. I turn to Seth, and pull up an eyebrow.
"Alice got you the exact same door, your family won't notice. She also went shopping, got you new clothes," he reveals, not looking at me. I sigh but make no move to get out of his car. "You should go inside now, your family is worried for you."
"Not until you tell me what's wrong," I say. I didn't want him mad at me; I couldn't have him mad at me. He doesn't say anything for a few minutes, then finally sighs, and turns to look at me. I almost gasp at the agony in his eyes.
"You think you're worthless and pathetic." It isn't a question. He is angry at me, for what I said. I lick my lips and open my mouth, but once again, I can't think of an explanation to my words. Blinking twice at him, I turn my head away and open the car door, leaving without a second glance.
**
"Adalynn." My eyes snapped open and I blinked in the darkness of my room. "Hmm…you smell so good." Cold arms wrapped around me and flipped me on my back. A lamp flicked on and I saw Logan, but as a vampire. I screamed, but his cold lips pressed into mine, silencing my pleas. It was Logan, as the vampire. His red eyes roamed over my body and he moaned, ripping off my clothes. I screamed in his mouth as he raped me.
The scene changes and suddenly I'm naked in a field filled with mist. I try to cover myself up and I look around frantically. I finally see someone, Seth, standing fifty feet away from me. He's just watching me, his face blank as he looks over my body.
"Seth!" I call as I run towards him. But he moves back. No, wait he doesn't. I'm running, but I'm not moving. He still is as far as he was from me, still looking at my naked body. I cry out his name again and he looks up at my face and licks his lips. His features change, and they shape into Logan's. I scream, and try to run the other way, but suddenly my feet are glued to the ground and Logan is walking towards me slowly, taunting me.
I bolt upward in my bed, panting and trembling in fear. When I realize that it was only a dream, I rip the sheets off my body and run across the carpet, to the window. I open it, fumbling with the screen.
"Seth!" I yell out in the night, already sobbing as I do so. Please God, please let him come. "Seth, please!" I beg, falling to my knees with tears coming from my eyes. "Seth!" I see him zoom out of the forest, half shirtless, and jump up the tree that sits in front of my room. I fall to the floor and cry; cry my stinking guts out as he comes into my room and soothes me. It has been all I've been doing for the past two days, but now I am fine with it.
I dig my nails into Seth's arm as he lies down next to me on the floor. I hug him, and press my body against his, sobbing and crying and bawling into his chest. Only now do I realize I need him, much more than I ever knew.
**
I was better the next day. It was time to put the mask back on, to pretend like I always did. I had woken up early that morning, to find I was still on the floor with Seth, he was awake and running his warm fingers through my hair.
"Want to come to dinner with my family tonight?" I ask, completely out of nowhere. He looks down at my eyes and smiles, noticing for the first time that I am awake.
"You are inviting me to dinner with your family?" He asks. I nod my head.
"Please?" I ask him. He kisses the top of my head and sits up.
"Sure, I'll go. When should I be here?" He asks.
"Dinner is served at seven, so be here at six thirty," I inform him, nodding my head. He smiles and helps me stand up.
"Okay. I have to go sleep, and your family is downstairs with breakfast. Are you okay?" He asks. I nod and smile.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Yesterday was just a mental breakdown. I'm sorry," I insist. He kisses my head again.
"Don't be."
**
As I wait for Seth, I help set the dinner table as my family cooks. Dan and Dani are mad, since they weren't here when Seth first came, and don't like him. Christina still is convinced that he does drugs, and it seems that the three of them have formed an I-Hate-Seth Club. My other brothers seem fine with him now, but still like to play the over protective brother role.
The doorbell rings at six thirty sharp and I smile to myself. Dan grunts and stands up from the couch.
"How rude of him, coming thirty minutes before dinner," Christina mutters. I glare at her.
"I told him to come early," I shoot back at her as I race to get to the door before Dan does. He beats me there and blocks my way as he opens the door. I frown at his back.
"Hello you must be–"
"Yeah," Dan said, cutting off Seth. "I'm Daniel, her oldest brother. Now you have ten seconds to tell me why I shouldn't shut this door in your face right now," Dan spits out. I try to say something, but Seth speaks before I get the chance.
"Because Adalynn wants me here. And I'll do anything to make her happy," Seth says, his voice calm and cool. I wait in silence as Dan breathes heavily.
"Alright, Mr. Smooth. I'll let you in. But don't forget, I know eight different painful ways to break every bone in your body," he threatens. Then, Dan flashes a smile and moves to the side, letting Seth come in. I rush to hug him, and shoot a glare at Dan. God, my family was too dramatic.
"Sorry about that, Mr. Big-Over-Protective-Brother is just grumpy because he didn't get to meet you last time. Ignore him," I tell Seth as I walk past Dan, holding his hands. Dan laughs loudly as he closes the door behind me. Dani rushes up after to see Seth.
"Dani, please," I beg her, stepping closer to Seth's body. "He isn't going to do anything. He isn't on drugs, and you are going to scare him away." Dani pouts at me and sighs, turning away and stomping back into the kitchen.
"Fine, fine, fine," she mutters. Seth chuckles and leans down to whisper in my ear.
"They could never scare me away," he assures me. I giggle and his voice relaxes me.
"Watch yourself, Clearwater," Kade calls from the kitchen. "I like you, but it doesn't mean I won't throw you out if I have to." I groan and start to get a headache. Maybe inviting him over wasn't such a good idea.
**
"So, Clearwater…" I groan, already knowing this isn't good. Triple K had decided that calling him Clearwater would be "scarier" than calling him Seth.
"Yes?" Seth asks Kevin, ignoring my sound of distress.
"What is it that you like about my baby sister again?" I throw my fork against the plate and gape at Kevin. He doesn't even look at me.
"She's nice," Seth states, shrugging. Kevin huffs and rolls his eyes.
"Don't bullshit us Kid." Kade jumps into the conversation. Seth glances down at me but I don't meet his gaze. He got himself into this. My whole family leans closer to where Seth sits, waiting for his answer. I feel bad for him, and wish I could take his hand but Dan is sitting between us.
"Uhh…she is…uhh…pretty? And, umm…she's sweet?" He guesses, as if hoping that is the right answer. Dan grunts and then turns to look at me.
"And you Adalynn? What is it that you like about Seth?" I bite the inside of my lip and stand up quickly, pushing the chair to the ground. I had had enough. I move behind Dan and grab Seth's hand, jerking him to stand up.
"I like that he takes all your crap. Because I can't. I'm not hungry anymore," I spat out, too angry to even glare at any of my siblings. I pull Seth upstairs and slam my door shut, loud enough for my family to hear downstairs.
"I'm so sorry," I whimpered, hugging his waist. Seth's lips twitch, and he kisses my head again.
"Don't be. It's fine." I pull back and gasp when I see his face so close. My eyes trail over his pale pink lips. They look so soft, as they get closer to mine, and I realize that he is moving his head forward. I make no move to stop him as his lips hover just above mine.
"Adalynn," he breathes out. Then, his lips crash to mine. At first, it feels like heaven. His lips are soft. They are just whispers over my lips. But, a sense of urgency rushes over him quickly, and he presses harder against my skin. His hands around my waist move suddenly into my hair, pulling at it. I try to breathe calmly, but I can't.
His lips turn rough and he pushes his tongue through my teeth. And that's when I lose it. Suddenly, I'm not in Seth's arms. I was in Logan's, on a bed, as he forced his lips on mine. I was screaming beneath him, pulling on his hair and beating against his chest.
Flashes of him, at first being sweet to me, like Seth was being now, and then turning into the monster Logan was. My eyes widen, and I push against Logan/Seth. Seth lets go of me quickly, stepping back as I drop to the floor and gasp.
"Adalynn? Are you okay? Did I do something wrong? Oh God, I'm so sorry," he rushes out, trying to help me up. I twist my arm out of his grasp and don't look up.
"I think, you should leave now," I whisper to him, muttering the words that pain me so much. He hesitates and I hear his sharp intakes of breath before I watch his feet move to the door. I look up just in time to see my door close.
So, so so? Sadlynn's first kiss. And possibly last? Please review.
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