I knew something was wrong when you weren't at home when I got back. You were always at home by four: always.
The crash of the door against the wall didn't make me jump.
I just turned to it slowly and expected the worst – ha ha – boy, did I get that...!
You were the heaviest thing in the world when I picked you up off the floor. No, you're right: I dragged you first until I got the door shut. You were face-down so I couldn't see anything but the filth and grease on the back of your blouse, but when my hand slid under your neck...I knew...I just – bloody – knew...
I wanted to piece you back together. I wanted you to open your damn eyes for a start! But when I tried to open them for you...they just rolled back in your head.
You looked like a puppet – hm hm hm...a doll...a rag-doll that had been played with too much...you'd been playing with other people, Sam! Tt-tt...you'd been playing with other people...
When you did wake-up you were sick on me...heh...all down my shirt. Then you said you were sorry...And y'know what I did? I laughed! Ha ha ha!! I fucking laughed and you were bleeding...! Blood was just coming – from – everywhere!
I didn't know what to do. I tried to call the police, but you wouldn't let me. I then said the ambulance and you started screaming – I couldn't understand what you were saying!
I called Charlie even though you didn't want me too...but I couldn't do anything – nothing - I could do nothing...
I'd managed to undress you and – and clean you up...you let me do that...but then you just stared at the ceiling as I got the wet towel and held it over your face.
I laid next to you on the bed and traced your features. You were so quiet...At one point I thought you were dead – mm hmm – but you breathed when I kissed your forehead and you looked at me with those sad, desperate eyes.
I'd never seen those eyes before – even when things were bad; really, really bad...you still had a smile in your eyes. Now they were just – empty...and cold...
And then you said it...oh hoh! – You said those words to me, Sam, that I will never forget.
Why?! Why didn't you tell me?!
We could've talked!
We could've made a decision together!
Buuut – no...no, no – you let me think things were ok. Made me think – we, were ok...
We weren't though, were we Sam? We were far from ok.
I'm pretty sure that's the day I gave-in, y'know? I was hacking it riiight up until you told me, that you didn't want our baby – a baby, you now say – that could've turned out like me-ee!
Nice to know it wasn't anything personal, doll!
Aaand-ha-ha!! Your face; when I came back...oh ho ho – after that weekend!
You weren't as pleased as I thought you'd be! I was so sure you'd see the funny-side when I showed you my own little experiment!
You still didn't smile!
Well...not really...
But you see the funny-side now, don't you Sam?
You can see that what I did...it was all for you...
Don't cry, sweet-cheeks – shh sh – don't cry...!
You can smile now.
You can smile for the both of us because we're gonna try again! We're gonna have that baby, and we're gonna do it together, in all our glory!
You and me: we're two-of-a-kind, honey-doll –
We're two-of-a-kind...
I was so weary from crying.
Even as The Joker patted my knee and gave me a reassuring nudge, I couldn't help but struggle for breath after tears.
He stood up and walked away from me; his shirt reflecting what little light there was in our pit.
'Do...you really hate me, that much...?'
My chest was in spasm as I held back the sobs. The tissue I'd been gripping in shaking hands was sodden and torn, but I scraped it across my face anyway.
'I don't hate you, Sam...'
The shadow absently scuffed the souls of his shoes across the dusty warehouse floor.
'Why then, did you have to drag all this back-up...make me remember it all again...?'
A green tint in his hair shimmered as he turned his face to me slightly.
'...makes a good story...' He shrugged and delicately adjusted his waistcoat.
The smile stung my face as I gazed on, stunned at his idleness.
'What...? What d'you mean "a good story"?! Are you really so senseless that you can brush it away as "a good story"...?!'
'Dohhh Sam! Don't you get it yet?!'
His arms swiped the air as he started towards me again.
'Life – is just one big game! It will only be, what you force it to be...! Those people out there are bored! They're fed-up of living in their boring little houses, in a boring little city, surrounded by boring little people...! We are the only ones – who can liven things up for them!!'
Our eyes met when he finally hunkered to my level.
He paused, before smoothing back a piece of hair from my face
'You need to start learning, how to play the game, Sam...'
His fingers were soft as he tilted my chin.
'You have the winning hand, doll – you have the wild card...'