"I don't know if I can do this."

"You're the strongest person I have ever met, Dutch. Don't think that I go around using that term with anyone else," Bellus told her firmly. "You can do this. You have to do this. Think about those boys...they're probably getting shit done during the day and crying their eyes out without you there."

Dutch smiled at that. "I doubt that."

"They need you. You've been caged up whenever we've moved and you're young...it's not easy for you to stay hidden and to be idle. A little easier when I'm a little older than you."

"What if-"

"We're going to be fine here. Pree's man is going to be meeting up with us right before we make our next move. Your precious little one will be kept safe while you're out there kicking ass and saving the Quad."

"What if something happens and you need me?"

"I'll figure out how to get into contact don't you worry."

She couldn't' help but worry. All she'd been thinking about for months was getting out of wherever they were hiding, to kick ass and shoot the bad guys. Now that she was practically being shoved out the door into it, she felt grief consuming her whole. "If something happens-"

"Nothing's going to happen to you or those boys," Bellus countered. "But if the unimaginable happens, you know that your little one will be so spoiled...Pree and Gared would see to it…"

"Not too much spoiling."

"Just the right amount, I promise-"

"And the name."

"I know."

Pree was in the other room. She'd already said her goodbyes to her friend and her little one. This was the hardest thing she'd experienced in her life so far...which she felt a bit ridiculous about. Who knew that your life could become so connected to something so small and so new to the world. She'd always imagined that if anyone was going to have a child...it would have been Johnny and Pawter...but that chance had been taken away. She'd not thought she'd be good at being a mother, but she loved it...but her heart was also somewhere else...which was why she had to go now.

"Thank you, Bellus," she said as she hugged the older woman.

"Getting soft on me, girl. Must be those hormones still teetering out of balance."

Dutch beamed and let out a soft laugh as she pulled back from Bellus. "Must be."

"Be safe."

"Or be good?"

"Be both," Bellus told her. "Time to go home."

And it was time.

Getting back to Lucy wasn't as easy as it could have been. She had been outside of the Quad, which was their plan...to slowly move their way out of the Quad and through the J to some place where her child could be safe from the eyes of Aneela and the Hullen. It had taken her longer than her sanity really could handle, but she found Lucy docked on Westerley...she imagined that they were supplying or something along those lines.

"Welcome back, Dutch. Shall I announce your arrival home?"

She smiled, it was so good to hear Lucy's voice. "No, Lucy, it's okay."

"You have one hundred and eighty-six messages waiting for you. Would you like me to start playing them in chronological order now?"

Dutch blinked at that information. "No. Not right now. Later."

"Okay."

Placing her hand on the strap of her bag, she adjusted it so it sat better on her shoulder. She moved towards the quarters of the ship quietly. As much as she wanted to see her boys, she was overwhelmed with emotions...of how much she missed them...and how excited she was to see them...how ready she was to kick Hullen as...but then how much she missed her little one. They'd sent her away to keep her safe...and now she was back. She went to enter her quarters, but stopped mid step inside when she found D'avin asleep on her bed. Dutch hadn't expected that, but at the same time...she wasn't surprised. When Johnny had gone with Clara, she'd gone into his room to try to cheer herself up and keep from missing him (it never worked, but it made you feel the slightest bit better).

Setting her bag down off to the side, she walked in quietly and to the side of the bed so that she could really look at him. She knew better than to sit on the bed next to him, he had reflexes like hers and she didn't want to spook him. This was normally the time that D'avin looked at peace, not always...but most of the time. She'd missed it. Dutch started to leave, not wanting to wake him but she froze when she heard him shift. She turned back to see him staring at her now.

"Dutch?"

"Hi."

"Is it really you?"

She turned fully and moved slowly back towards her bed. "Yes. It was time for me to come home," she explained. "I've sat out of this fight long enough…" Dutch sat on the edge of the bed now as he sat up, his hand reaching out towards her. She smiled, took his hand and pressed it to her cheek. "I'm really here."

"What about-"

"Just me."

He sat up fully and Dutch could see questions flash across his eyes. As much as she didn't want to go into it all now, at the same time...he deserved answers. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, though it's weird being back."

"Where's Johnny?"

"Johnny is off the ship," Lucy piped up.

"Where the hells are we?"

"Old Town, Westerley."

"Didn't you know?" Dutch asked as she quickly took in how confused D'avin looked. "I figured you were resupplying or something."

"Something," D'avin replied. "We were supposed to be leaving for a mission from the RAC station...Westerley wasn't on the list of to-dos before that."

"Are you complaining?" she asked with a smile.

"Not that you're back, absolutely not," D'avin replied brightly without missing a beat.

It was still there in his eyes, he wanted to ask her but he wasn't, that was absolutely clear to Dutch. "I know you have questions...and you want answers, but if something happens-"

"You're trying to keep people safe."

Dutch took his hands into hers and scooted closer. "I'm trying to keep our child safe."

D'avin just nodded and didn't look at her at first. "I won't lie, I have been wondering about you and our child...boy or girl...what they look like...what name you gave him or her."

"They're all things I want to tell you...and I wish I could introduce you, but I swear our child is in good hands and they're safe." It was so hard not to just break down and tell him everything. She'd thought about telling him for months and she was fairly sure that no matter the gender of her child that D'avin would be happy and excited and that he'd really be a good father. No matter how screwed up their respective childhoods were...D'av would be such a good dad. "I'm sorry. This isn't the way that this should be."

"No, it's not...for either of us."

They couldn't dwell on it, she knew that. "What's been keeping you going?"

"Seeing you again."

D'av-"

"It has to be the three of us to make this team work, Dutch," he told her. "If it's only two of us, we're missing something...and I've been feeling that hard."

"Okay," she said with a nod. She knew what he meant and he was right. When it had just be the two of them, it hadn't been the same without Johnny there. When it had been just her and Johnny, they'd needed D'av to be to their fullest potential. "So tell me what the mission is."

"It's Johnny's crazy ass plan."

"Tell me."

"Johnny wants to make Aneela and Delle Seyah our allies in this war," D'avin told her.

For a moment she thought about asking him to repeat himself, but she knew that she'd actually absorbed what he'd actually said. She was just in denial about it. "What?"

"The baby that Delle Seyah was carrying...the one that's got my DNA...I've seen her a few times and I just keep wondering...and I think Johnny's worried," D'av said. "He thought that the memories that Zeph had put into the syringe would make Aneela have feelings for you and want to be on our side…"

"If it were that easy-"

"That's not even the entire plan, just wait for this one…"

So, she waited.

"Johnny says that if Aneela was able to pull baby her out of a memory to make baby you then she should be able to pull Khlyen from a memory too."

"Khlyen?" she breathed. There was a mix of feelings that floated through her head. Although so much had been revealed about her past and origins...Dutch couldn't keep the mixed feelings away. Maybe it was because she had a child now and rather than training that child up to fight the Hullen like Khlyen had with her, she'd sent her little one away with friends who would ensure safety and a good life.

"It's all kind of weird, even if Aneela would even do it-"

"You'd think she'd have figured that out by now if she could."

"But if she doesn't remember pulling you from the green, then maybe she doesn't remember she has that power," D'avin pointed out.

"You think this is a good plan?"

"I think it's a plan."

"But?"

"But I think that Johnny brought it up for selfish reasons for me."

"What reasons?"

"Caspara," D'av said as he looked at her. "The child that Delle Seyah had."

"You have a daughter," Dutch said, trying to be happy because she felt like that was what D'avin wanted to be, but he was unsure. When he looked confused, she gave a vague gesture. "Caspara."

"Yes, though I don't think Delle Seyah would appreciate me referring to her as such."

"She can just get over herself."

"But I think that's why Johnny is trying to do all of this...so that I can see her more," D'avin said. "But that doesn't help our child…"

"No...but yes," Dutch said. "Johnny's right about Aneela and Khlyen being allies...huge allies against the Hullen if we could make it happen. I just don't know about the whole bringing Khlyen out of the green part…"

"So, does this mean you're on board?"

"Well, I'm here," she offered with a smile. "And I'm not going anywhere...and from the picture that Bellus painted...I was supposed to find you both crying in your bunks or something."

"That sounds about accurate."

She punched his arm. "Liar."

"Okay, seventy-five percent accurate...and the rest is me pretending to be a badass when I just miss the hells out of you."

"D'av! You won't believe what I found!" came Johnny's voice from another section of the ship.

"You won't believe what I found either!" D'avin called back.

Dutch turned her attention in the direction of the doorway. When Johnny finally appeared, she just smiled at him. "Hi."

And then everything that Johnny was carrying was suddenly on the floor.

"Dutch, what the hells?!" Johnny finally exclaimed after a far too long moment.

TBC…