Okay I know its been forever since I posted last and im a terrible person yada yada yada but idk I haven't been feeling angsty latly so this chap was hard to get inspiration for so if its as terrible as I think it is I appologize. Plus ive had extra things taking up my time lately… like along with track and school my dog got sick and needed surgery and ive had to watvh him like constantly… poor baby… anyway no that ive complained to you guys…yay I finally posted! Is what we should focus on.

I just realized that I don't even remember what happened last chapter so I am going to review the important things.

IMPORTANT/RECENT EVENTS IN STORY: people have different powers. Alec is a shadowhunter. Shadowhunters cant be seen in shadows. Magnus can see through powers. Magnus is an elf. The forest creatures and alecs city are at war. Alecs dad is king. Ragner just died.

I don't own the mortal instrments(did you expect me to?)

Chapter 14 (Alec POV)

As the sun began to set I pulled Magnus closer to me, relishing his warmth as it battled the renewed chill that seemed to weigh down on the surrounding air. The clicks and buzzes of insects rang through the otherwise silent forest. Magnus shifted against me and I scooted backward allowing him to reposition himself more comfortably. He flattened himself against the stone, eliminating at least one of the worries, even if it may have been a minor one compared to everything else that's going on, from my mind. We had been lucky nobody happened to wander past when we sat foolishly unprotected on the edge of the boulder. Though I was a Shadowhunter and would be unnoticed by a common passerby I joined him on my stomach, accepting the warmth the rock retained now that Magnus was no longer heating me.

I lay close to him, but not quite touching. I glanced warily at the sun. It was less than half visible and sinking quickly. I knew I should start heading home soon, Isabelle was tired of making excuses for my absence and I knew she would already be explaining another ludicrous situation that might excuse my late return again. I would be in such bad shape if I didn't have Isabelle, who had as little respect for my father as I had, and seemed almost more excited than I was myself every time I told her I was meeting Magnus.

I let my head fall so I was facing him, planning on saying goodbye and making my way home but when I did I saw him looking at me with a look of uncertainty and determination in his eyes. He spoke before I had the chance to. "Do you want to know the rest of the story of what happened to my parents?"

"Only if you want to tell me." I responded not wanting him to feel forced into something so personal especially when he was as emotional as he was now and knowing I should go home but also wanting to know.

"I do." Magnus said as our eyes met. His gaze left mine shortly to focus on something visible only to him. It returned to mine before its presence was missed and he began. "I already told you some of it right? Like how my mom was part elf, but it wasn't possible to tell from looking? And how my dad went off to war and didn't figure out until he got back about my mothers ancestry or my inheritance of the ancestry? That's where we left off, right?" Magnus seemed unnaturally calm about this. I nodded and studied him as he looked away again.

"Well when he got home and found out my mother and I were both part elf he-" Magnus cleared his throat. "He got really mad. He didn't let her explain. When we got back home from the train station I watched him kill her. Not even an hour after he got home." Magnus still wasn't crying, or even showing any sign of miserable feeling that I would have thought to be evident. "I just watched from the doorway. It wasn't slow, or torturous. He just hit her once and then slit her throat."

"He was on his knees after that and my mothers' blood was pooling around him. He looked at me with a deranged expression. I looked back at him wide-eyed as I took in what happened. 'I do love her.' He said, as if she weren't lying dead in front of her, and she was just out somewhere and he was awaiting her return. 'That's why I know that wasn't her.' My father nodded to himself, as he convinced himself we weren't really his family. He was going crazy. 'Filthy elves could never be related to me. That's how I know you're not my son.' Then I turned and ran. I knew eventually he would get up and come at me. I ran for the distant forest hoping I could hide there. I slept in trees for two nights and cried through most of the days. I didn't miss my father because I didn't know him very well, but my mother I did miss. I didn't know many people. She was the only person I was really close to ever."

"When Ragner found me I was half starved and dehydrated. He brought me to the village and they took me in. That's how I ended up here." He thought about what he'd said for a moment, eyes still fixed on a point in the distance. "Its not as complicated a story as I always thought of it as."

He turned to me and wet his lips, still with an unchanged expression on his face. "How are you so relaxed about this?" I asked incredulous.

"I never have been before. I think it's because I've always been reminded of how alone I am when I tell it. Ragner was my only friend and we weren't even that close. It forced me to think about all of the childish fears I still had about not ever really being accepted or loved and believing I couldn't ever trust or love anybody."

"Why is it better now? Wouldn't it be worse now that Ragner's dead?" I didn't know Magnus still had such a bad life- he always seemed to be an upbeat kind of person.

Magnus smiled warmly. "Well that's because I proved myself wrong. Proved all my fears wrong."

"How's that?" I asked, still confused.

"Because I found someone I love. I was scared of it at first. The feelings I had for you were so unexplored and uncommon and it took me a while to get used to them, but now I'm happier than I have been since that day. It's nice having someone to confide in. I trust you Alec. It feels good to be able to trust someone again."

It took me a second to comprehend what he said. I felt my eyes widen and his smile grew at my reaction. "Did-did you just say you love me?"

Magnus was chuckling now. I blinked and tried to put an indifferent expression on my face, which humored him more. "Not directly." He said, "But ya, I suppose I did."

My mouth fell open and after a few seconds he nudged my jaw back up. I closed it and stared at him as adrenaline coursed trough my body and thoughts flew through my mind so fast they blurred together. Magnus loved me. He raised an eyebrow. "So? Do you feel the same?"

I debated how to answer this. Then I said,"No."

His face fell and his shoulders drooped. The bright green eyes looked away from me and this time tears did begin to appear. I quickly restated my answer. "I mean I can't… I-I shouldn't. It's not allowed. I have responsibilities as prince and all-"

Magnus interrupted. "I understand." He said eyes still downcast. "I just thought…" he trailed off.

"No Magnus! I said I shouldn't. It's forbidden, and wrong, but no matter how hard I tried not to I do."

He looked back at me, rubbing at his eyes. "You do what?" A contained hope showed in his expression.

"I do love you." I whispered. He swallowed thickly and I pushed aside the consequences of what I admitted. He leaned forward to kiss me.

It was slow and closed mouthed and romantic and despite our challenges I couldn't keep myself from smiling against his lips.

He pulled back grinning and I thought about what he'd said again. "Because I found someone I love. I was scared of it at first. The feelings I had for you were so unexplored and uncommon and it took me a while to get used to them, but now I'm happier than I have been since that day. It's nice having someone to confide in. I trust you Alec. It feels good to be able to trust someone again."

I felt the guilt wash over me. The guilt I had forgotten until now I should have. He trusted me. I was the only person he had to trust. He confided in me with a story he'd kept to himself for years and all the while I've been starting wars and not taking any credit for my irresponsibility.

He was still grinning at me and I forced myself to smile. I could be happy, I would let myself be happy for now.

"Magnus I hate to do this now but I have to go home. My family will worry."

He nodded. "I know."

We dismounted the boulder and he walked to the edge of the clearing with me. I leaned in to kiss me again and my chest swelled with glee. He looked down at me with more feeling than he could express with words and it mirrored how I felt. An invisible string still tugged gently at the corners of his mouth. "Definitely nice to trust someone again." He said.

I looked away, not having faith in myself to convincingly maintain the look of bliss that had surly been engraved in my face a minute ago. "See you tomorrow." I said, and without looking back at him I jogged into the woods toward the waiting crowds of the city. Soon, I thought. I had to tell him soon.

Okay so that was a little lighter than I planned it to be but I couldn't find it in myself to be angsty today, and it was longer than most of my chapters are and I hope it wasn't bad.

City of Lost Souls is coming out tomorrow! Im soooooooooooo excited :D and then on the 15th trespassing- Adam Lamberts next album. Yay happy things.

Anyway guys tell me if you liked it and whether alec should tell magnus the truth soon. Please review. I hate when people request reviews to post the next chap so I don't like doing that but reviews and faves and alerts really do inspire me. I like to know what you guys think and if my work is appreciated. It only takes a few seconds