Disclaimer: Interesting fact; none of my initials are E. and/or C.

"Trouble!" Holly said. "Trouble, Trouble, Trouble."

"Holly?" Commander Kelp asked, furrowing his brows. "Are you quite alright?"

"Of course she is!" Mulch said, appearing at Holly's shoulder. Trouble nearly jumped.

"That is, if you are," Mulch added, stroking his beard - as well as the rest of the hair on his head - for a better effect.

"I'm fine," Trouble replied, completely nonplussed.

"Then she is too!" Mulch said enthusiastically, shaking his hand as though sealing a business deal.

"What's going on?" the Commander asked, stepping back subconsciously until he was backed up against the wall of the office.

"What do you mean?" Holly asked, a faux-innocent look upon her face.

"You've been acting weird all morning! You kept leaving to go the toilet during the meeting, and then you and Mulch keep popping out of nowhere and trying to stop me from entering the Ops Booth," Trouble exclaimed.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Trouble," Holly said solemnly, the two of them still crowding around Trouble so he could not leave his position up against the wall.

"Are you sure you're feeling perfectly fine, Trouble?" Mulch asked, plastering on a concerned expression.

"I'm fine!" Trouble shouted, pushing them away. He was glad that most of the officers in the office had left for a lunch break, this was just embarrassing. "Now if you don't tell me what's going on right now -"

"Oh, Trouble," Holly sighed. "Trouble, Trouble, Trouble."

"Why do I feel like our conversation is going in circles?" Trouble asked, groaning as he stepped around them.

"You know what's your problem, Trouble?" Holly continued, as though she had not heard his outburst. "You never let any of your officers have any privacy."

"For Frond's sake, Holly, I'm the Commander of the LEP!" Trouble shouted impatiently, trying to reach around them to the door of the Ops Booth.

"I have rights," Holly said loftily, flailing her arms repeatedly between him and the door.

"Rights?" Trouble echoed in disbelief, momentarily distracted from his persistent attempt of opening the door.

"Yes," she said, frowning at him as though in severe disappointment. "As a citizen of Haven, not just a Recon Captain."

"...Right," he said, before reaching around her - success! - and wrenching the door open.

Inside sat Artemis Fowl, talking calmly to Foaly as they drank coffee and had what appeared to be cake.

"What is going on here?" Trouble shouted in utter disbelief. Behind him, Holly and Mulch casted sideway glances at each other.

"Oh, hello there, Commander," Artemis said serenely, as though the disturbance was nothing but of a mere fly. "Want some cake? Caballine made them for Foaly, but there's quite a lot to go around."

Eyes widened in an almost comical manner, Foaly, Mulch and Holly immediately began trying to explain the situation.

"We never get to see him, Trubs, and it's not even the busy time of the year-"

"You smuggled a Mud Man into our city!" Trouble fumed, ignoring what they had to say. "It's called Haven for a reason! It's supposed to be a haven from humans! And you just- you just smuggle one in?"

"Well, he's never seen the city," Holly explained. "And, as aforementioned, we only do get to see him during our cases."

"He's not even supposed to be on our cases!" Trouble shouted, throwing his arms into the air with exasperation. "This is utterly ridiculous! I knew I shouldn't have taken the bloody promotion when Root offered it up. I knew there was something fishy about it! I knew it! He just wanted me to implode, having to deal with all of you-"

"I do believe all that stress might be bad for your health, Commander," Artemis noted, the only one still sitting down as he sipped at his coffee with his head tilted, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Shut up, Fowl, or we'll throw you to the wolves," Holly snapped.

Artemis mimed zipping his lips.

Uh, I'm not entirely sure what happened with this one. Hmm.

I love all reviews and/or criticism, but unnecessary flaming is just what it is, unnecessary. Do tell me if there are any spelling/grammar mistakes made.