Author's Note: Wow, it has been a month since I last updated. I am so sorry, I hadn't realized it would be this long. I've been really nervous about writing this next chapter because it's kind of a huge deal. I've also have three midterms, two papers, and have ran an actual restaurant (true story) for the last month which is why (plus me being nervous about this chapter) it's taken so long to update. My glee story has been somewhat easier to write so that's had one update (plus one today). Okay so here goes.
"I don't understand. Why would this be called the Hunger Games? Shouldn't it be like the Killing Games, or Last Man Standing or something?" Lily asks us, leaving us both baffled. Peeta and I sit across from each other, with Lily at the head. We each hold one of her hands.
Asher is over at Haymitch's for the afternoon while we ease Lily onto the topic. Neither of us slept well last night, feeling guilty over the information we would finally have to start telling her. She's recently gotten really good at wielding a bow and arrow and had her first kill, a squirrel. She seemed proud of herself but made me promise we would only hunt as necessary, no use in killing animals that we wouldn't eat. I soundly agreed with her, knowing that I'd never kill anything simply for sports. Oh, the irony.
Peeta speaks up. "I guess the Capitol wanted to make it seem like it was less vicious, it was for entertainment purposes after all." We had just explained to her the thirteen districts of Panem and strictly the rules of the game and how they were used throughout the districts. She also knows somewhat about the grain exchange for more slips, and the option of volunteering for selected tributes. We've also told her about the Capitol and how the arenas in the Games work. Lily just doesn't know how it applies to us specifically. We didn't want to weigh her down with too much information at once.
"Okay, I think that's enough for today." I look to Peeta who clearly doesn't agree but he won't argue with my either. The last hour has been extremely taxing on both of us.
"We'll tell you more about it tomorrow okay, hun?" Lily nods at me before coming up to hug me, curling against my chest and playing with the frays on my shirt.
"I'm sorry you guys had to experience that; living in the district with so much fear and poverty." Peeta's eyes prick at her words but I am just too numb to really process what's going on. Peeta leans forward and kisses the top of her head.
"Thank you, honey." He tells her quietly.
"Can I go over to Haymitch's now? I want to play with Asher." I nod to her and watch her get off my lap, walk out the door and cross the yard. I only look away when I see that she has made it into Haymitch's house.
I let out a shaky breath and Peeta links our hands together before pulling them to his face to kiss my wrist.
"What are we going to do tomorrow? Today was hard enough and it was just the basics." I confess to him.
"We'll figure something out." He mumbles against my wrist. "We always do."
I lean forward from my seat across the kitchen table and kiss his lips soundly; needing both him and the comfort from it. He reaches his hand up, securing my face to his and nibbles on my bottom lip. Even after all these years he leaves me breathless and I wonder what I have done to deserve someone as selfless and beautiful as he is.
The next day comes way too fast for our liking. We find ourselves sitting at the kitchen table again at one o'clock just after lunch and Asher is at Haymitch's house again.
"Okay, so you remember seeing pictures around of your Auntie Prim?" I ask her. Lily nods her head solemnly.
"Was she killed in the Games?" She asks me quietly. I'm surprised by how well she is able to make some of these connections. When she was younger we had just told her that Prim and Peeta's brothers had died fighting in a war, although she hadn't really understood how it happened.
"No, honey. But your Auntie Prim's name was selected when she was twelve." Her blue eyes widen dramatically and her eyes swim. She looks over to me quickly.
"Did she win?" The pure look of terror in her eyes almost cause me to breakdown but I force myself to keep a poker face.
"No, she was never in the Games." She looks relieved for a moment and I dread the next words that come out of my mouth. "You remember when I told you that some people can volunteer as well?" I take a deep breath at her pause. "Well, I volunteered for my little sister. I didn't want her to get hurt." I explain to her slowly.
At first, she seems unable to comprehend my words and what they truly mean. She studies the grains of wood in the kitchen table before her eyes suddenly snap up towards mine. This is the moment I've been fearing, how she'll react knowing that I've been in the Games, Peeta too. But Lily has the tendency to surprise us. She jumps out of her kitchen seat and sits down on my lap and hugs me tightly. She starts shaking and I know that she is crying, but I'm relieved she isn't scared of me.
"Mommy, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for you." She tells me brokenly. I let a few tears of my own escape as well and murmur into her hair.
"Me too, sweetheart. Me too." After a few moments, I lean back and I hate the words I tell her.
"We've got a few more things to tell you today. So take a deep breath." She follows my instructions immediately. "Let yourself calm down a little bit okay?" My nods and makes her way back to her chair, but clutches my hand to her chest tightly; refusing to break contact between us. Peeta leans over and rubs her back soothingly and she relaxes into his touch. He starts speaking to her.
"Okay, so you know how there is almost a male tribute as well right? So, that year… my name was called as well." I can tell that this isn't becoming easier because she looks up at Peeta and her question comes out hesitantly.
"Did one of your brothers volunteer for you?" Her hand loosens slightly but it hurts none the less. She thinks I might've killed Peeta's brother; I try to not let it get to me. Peeta eyes meet mine for a minute before he continues.
"No, no one volunteered for me." He looks her in the eyes and I know that she's really confused at this point.
"But, only one can win." She says quietly.
"Rules sometimes change." We wait for her to respond but she only remains quiet which makes her sudden outburst even more unexpected.
"It's not fair! One of them should have volunteered. You're a little brother, Prim's a little sister. They should've been like mom. I hate them! I hate them!" Peeta grabs ahold of her then and forces her to hug him. She struggles against his grip and punches into his stomach. She keeps yelling how much she hates them but we let her get it out of her system. It's better than to internalize everything like Peeta and I used to do. After she wears herself out, I stroke her hair and bring her back to the present.
"I don't want to learn anymore." Lily tells us quietly. "I don't want to know what happens next. It's not right and it's not fair." I hear the fear in her voice, wondering who we've killed as children. She hides her face in Peeta's shoulder and give her a moment before asking her to turn around. Lily sits down on Peeta's lap and he brings his arms around her. I look her in the eyes before I continue.
"You're going to learn more about it in school next year, we think it will be better if you hear more from us now." She looks back into my eyes as well, resigned over what she's to learn soon.
"Okay, but not tomorrow. Weekends aren't for learning." She tells me adamantly.
"Okay, we'll pick up on Monday. Does that sound okay?" She nods her head at me, but refuses to meet my eyes now.
"I love you sweetheart." I tell her and grab her hands. She's hesitant but wraps her hands around mine regardless.
"I love you too, forever."
Author's Note: Okay, so a little heart-breaking. And more is to come but I think this is a pretty good start. I'm not going to go over every aspect obviously but she's definitely going to get a clear overview. I hope you enjoyed this anyway. This is not edited because I wanted it up ASAP.