A/N: This has been an intense chapter to write and I know I'm bound to piss a lot of people off but keep in mind that not all stories can have a happily ever after. One of the key muses for this chapter was a scene from the soap General Hospital. It was an older storyline when Monica was going through breast cancer and fighting with her husband, Alan. For anyone interested, here is the link:

/eiXCDBBjazA

It's a VERY powerful scene and always makes me tear up a bit. I give this story about two more chapters and I should be all wrapped up.

Marissa stood in the kitchen and stared down at the various pills that lined the counter. She had started her chemotherapy treatment not too long and she had yet to get used to the idea. The meds made her tired all the time and she could barely keep anything down. Marissa took her meds as she thought back to the night when she finally told her kids what was going on. Marissa and Happy had set the kids down when they came home from camp to give them news.

Aiden started to cry uncontrollably, Joshua sat stunned and Zander had fled the house. The look of pain on her children's faces ripped Marissa apart. She had tried her best never to bring them any hurt and yet that was exactly had happened. Logically she knew that the cancer wasn't her fault but try explaining that to a mother who is watching her children upset.

When Zander had come home later than night, his father was sitting on the couch staring blankly at the television screen. Zander took a seat next to his father and happily took the joint Happy handed him.

"This is fucked up." Zander explained.

"Yeah kid, it is." Zander took another pull from the joint before handing it back to Happy.

"Is she gonna die?"

"Dunno." Happy's passé attitude pissed Zander off and he turned sharply towards his father.

"That's it? Aren't you supposed to be telling me that Ma is strong as shit? That she can survive anything?"

"Will saying that make you feel better? I never lied to you before and I aint' going to start now. I don't know what's going to happen with your Ma."

"It's like you don't even care if Ma dies." Happy stood up quickly, grabbing his son by the front of his shirt, pulling him up with him.

"You better watch who you're talking to boy. Your mother is my fucking world and don't you ever forget that but I know what cancer does. I saw it with my own Mom."

"What's going on here?" Marissa asked as she came into the living room tightening the robe around her body. She looked at the sight in front of her and rubbed her eyes.

"Just a little father-son bonding."

"I see that." Marissa walked closer and put her hands on Happy's arms. She felt the tension in his body and the guilt started up again. "Go on to bed, baby. I got this." Happy continued to stare at his son for a few more moments before releasing him and heading back towards the bedroom. Marissa pointed towards the couch. "Sit." Zander sat down and leaned forward on his knees.

"I'm so sorry baby. If I could prevent this, if I could take away your pain, I would." Zander jolt his head up.

"You are the one with cancer and you're worried about me."

"You're my baby, I always worry." Marissa played with the curls on her son's head as she leaned back on the couch. She fought the urge to cry when Zander laid his head on her lap like he used to do when he was younger. "You fighting with your father is not healthy babe. We are a family and we have to stick together." Zander sighed knowing his mother was right.

"He's treating this like it's nothing, like it's just any other day." Marissa chuckled softly.

"Your father is stubborn, tough, doesn't wear his emotions on his sleeve." Marissa tapped her son's head. "Sound familiar? This is hard on him. He watched cancer destroy his mother and it ripped him apart. He was a true Mama's boy…kinda like you."

"Ma!" Zander whined but grabbed Marissa's hand in his. "So you gotta get some treatment?"

"Yeah. I'm going to start chemotherapy as soon as possible. I'm going to be honest with you Zander; it's going to be a tough ride." Zander sat up and looked at his mother who he loved more than life itself.

"Anything I can do?" Marissa smiled as she kissed her son on the cheek.

"Ease up on your father sweetie. He's trying."

"Ma?" Marissa turned from her spot on the counter and smiled at Joshua. The young man had become just as much her child as her flesh and blood. She had been excited when Joshua had asked her if it was okay that he called Marissa "mom" a few years ago.

"Hey Josh. What's up?" The young man walked into the kitchen and looked at the scripts lined up on the counter.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Today's a good one. Even managed to keep a piece of bread down." Marissa tried to joke. "How are you?"

"Good. The classes have been a bit hard but whatever." Joshua was currently in a trade school to get his certificate in Electronic Engineering and Marissa couldn't be more proud. "Aiden said he was going to quit the baseball team." This was definitely news to Marissa.

"What? Why?"

"He says that he doesn't want to put any more stress on you, especially after what happened the last time." Marissa grimaced as she thought about the last baseball game she had attended. It had been a pretty rough day for her but she was determined to be there for her son. Unfortunately her body didn't get the memo and she almost passed out during the seventh inning. The look of horror on Aiden's face was not one that Marissa would ever forget.

"I'll talk to him. I don't want anyone changing their life because of this shit." Josh nodded as he kissed Marissa on the cheek. He was getting ready to leave the kitchen when Marissa called his name forcing him to turn back around.

"I just wanted to let you know that I am so proud of you. Not just for going to school, but everything. I love you and I just need you to know that you are just as much my son as the other two." Josh smiled before waving his goodbyes.

Marissa was standing in her bedroom after taking a shower. She looked down at the brush in her hand and wanted to scream. Like most woman, Marissa prided herself on her hair. She was blessed with a mass of thick, curly hair from her mother and now most of it had found its way on her brush or in the shower drain.

She tensed up when she felt Happy wrap his arms around her mid-section and kiss her neck. "Hey reina."

"Hey." Marissa moved out of Hap's embrace and grabbed her long sleeve shirt and pajama pants from the dresser. She headed towards the bathroom to change.

"Why the fuck do you do that?" Marissa sighed. Things had been rough between she and Happy, as neither one of them really knew how to deal with what was going on.

"Do what Happy?'

"Go in the bathroom and change. It's not like I've never seen you naked before."

"Just lay off, Hap.!" She turned back around to go towards the bathroom but jumped when she saw a picture frame shattered just a few feet from her head.

"What the fuck is your problem?!" She bellowed.

"My problem? My own fucking wife won't even change in front of me and you want to know what my problem is."

"You want to see a naked bitch, go to the clubhouse! I already told you that Happy!" A few weeks ago, Marissa told Happy that he had full permission to fuck around since she was unable to fill all of her womanly duties. He had snapped on her and walked away.

"I don't want some porn slut. I WANT my wife." The way he said it snapped something inside of Marissa.

"No you don't."

"Don't tell me what I want." Marissa dropped the clothes in her hand and ripped her robe off, leaving her standing in front of him completely naked. There were bruises all over her body and marks on her arms from the needles. She had lost a ton of weight, leaving most of ribs exposed.

"IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT HAPPY? THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT TO LOOK AT? THIS IS NOT THE BODY OF THE WOMAN YOU MARRIED! I CAN'T EVEN STAND THE SIGHT OF MY SELF!" Marissa felt the tears stream down her face at warp speed but she didn't even bother to wipe them away. Happy stood there, taking in every inch of Marissa's body.

"The bruises?"

"The chemo is causing my platelet counts to drop. The doctors say the blood clotting is what is causing me to bruise. I can't bump my hip on the counter without looking like I went twelve rounds with Mayweather." Marissa watched as Happy moved closer. He reached a hand out and brushed his fingers against one of the bruises on her side. The small motion made Marissa completely break down. She felt her legs give out and Happy caught her just in time.

"I can't keep living like this Happy. I just can't." Marissa cried out as Happy continued to hold her, not sure what else he could do.

"Have you lost your fucking mind?" Marissa turned around to see Tara standing behind her with anger and fear etched all over her face. Marissa didn't even have to ask what was wrong. She had spent the past nine months trying different forms of radiation and chemotherapy and she had finally decided what her next course of action was going to be.

"I guess that whole doctor-patient confidentiality doesn't mean shit."

"Don't joke right now Marissa. This shit is not funny."

"It's the best option."

"You are stopping your treatments. How the hell is that the best option? Do you even know what that means?"

"Yes Tara I know what that means."

"So you're just giving up?" Marissa rolled her eyes as placed a hand on the bandanna that was covering her mostly bald head.

"The cancer has spread Tara. I have to face the reality."

"The cancer spreading is all the more reason to continue the treatment."

"I'M DYING TARA! Do you hear me? I'm fucking dying. The radiation and the chemo…it's just prolonging the inevitable."

"The treatments can buy you time."

"At what fucking cost? I'm practically stuck in my bed all day as is. All the treatments are going to do is make me sicker. What the fuck is the point of any of that? All it does is make me miss more time with my kids, my family. I need to spend as much time with them as I can."

"What about me?" Marissa slammed her hand down on the fireplace mantel.

"Me, me, me. That's all I fucking from everyone: you, Tig, Happy. It's all about how MY cancer and MY treatments are affecting YOU. Do you think I want this Tara? Do you think I want to die? To leave my family? To leave you? I don't, okay? But the decision has been taking out of my hands. I'm done Tara. I have spent my entire life fighting, and I don't have any more fight left in me." Tara crossed the room and pulled Marissa in for a hug. The two best friends cried loudly as the reality hit both of them like a ton of bricks.

"I don't know how to survive without you Rissa. I know that seems selfish but it's true."

"Tara Teller, you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. I have watched you go through hell and come out on the other side. You will get through this; you don't have a choice baby. Besides, I'm going to need a favor from you." Tara wiped away at her tears.

"What's that?"

"I need you to look after my boys. All of them, including Happy. I don't need him shutting down and making risky choices leaving our kids without either one of their parents." Tara nodded furiously before pulling Marissa back in for a hug.

"I love you so much, Marissa." Marissa closed her eyes tightly.

"I love you too, Tara."