A/N: No laptop = Slow updates D:

Yup, I still without my own computer right now so updates are still going to take longer, but I'm doing my best! As an apology have a long(ish) chapter~!

Thanks for reading please keep reviewing even if I don't reply I'm reading every single one~!

Chapter Fourteen

I was in the jungle cupboard at the back of the hall. In the dark. Behind the basketballs. Alone and in complete hiding.

I wasn't going out there. I simply was not coming out and facing everyone.

I had decided to stay here for the rest of forever from the moment the football team filed in. All laughing and joking amongst themselves. I left the other girls and bolted in here. I'm not sure how the others could do this but they were certainly braver than me.

I buried my head in my hands; I could here a small commotion outside and felt almost guilty for leaving them like that but not guilty enough to go out there. Nothing, I repeat, nothing was bringing me out.

I couldn't do this; I had far underestimated the horrors of stage-fright or whatever horrible feeling was swirling around in my gut that just made me want to hide and never show myself to anyone ever again.

They were all out there waiting to watch. Alfred was out there waiting to watch. No, I really wasn't able to do this. Not in front of him, and especially not in front of them.

The door opened and light flooded in, they had found me.

"Hey, Arthur, you're, like, in here right?"

Oh good Feliks. Surely he could get me out of this…

"Found you!" His head popped round into my hiding place, "Now come quick we, like, need to start and stuff!"

"I can't." My muffled words floated up from me small ball of terror.

"You what now…? Okay, no! You are so totally like, NOT backing out now!"

"Yes I am. I just can not do it."

"Shit… Look you, like, gotta do it! We all totally need you out there!"

"I'm sorry but I really can do anything in front of them!"

He sighed, "I know you're upset over that other time they saw you, but, like, dude, I thought you were over that!"

"So did I! … But apparently not… I don't know, I was never popular back home… People like that are known for making fun of me."

"Jeeze, I really, like, have no time for this, I'm getting someone for you."

And with that he left me. Poor Feliks, I really wasn't helping anything. This was terrible, and I even thought that I was ready for this. It was quite sad to think of my hopeless excitement that I had the night before.

I heard someone enter; putting on my best scowl I turned to the doorway,

"Feliks, I told you I—"

Oh. I stopped there as Alfred sat down beside me.

"What's wrong, Artie?"

He bloody well knew what was wrong.

"Nothing. Leave me alone." I made it a mission to myself to stare at my shoes, my face was on fire. I had no idea which was more humiliating, Alfred seeing me out there or in here.

"Y'know that everyone's waiting out there, you should join them~"

It was annoying how Alfred could manage to sound sympathetic, cheerful AND gentle all at once.

"I already told them that I can't."

"Aw, come on, don't say that! I promise you that you can! Even if you just look at me the whole time, I'll be there~ And, I mean, I know you're nervous but I really do believe in you! I know you can do it, even if you don't… So if you're not going to do this for your friends on the team and not for yourself either then do it for me. Please?"

"Stupid, why would I do it for you?

"Because I'm the hero who's gonna save you from anything going wrong!"

I grinned a little in spite of it all, "It's going to be your fault when things do go wrong!"

"You can just call me Captin-Artie-saver!"

He really was silly, I gave a small chuckle of amusement that was almost immediately followed with a great big pat on the back.

"There! See? You're smiling again already!"

Bugger, so I was. I tried to look anxious and sorry for myself again.

"S-Shut up…" I stammered as I tried to remember what exactly I was upset about again.

"Arthur, you really must do this. Everyone out there is waiting and just because the cool kids didn't like you in rainy-scone-land doesn't mean they'll be the same here… Besides, I like you and I'm the coolest of the cool~ Anyway, please you have to do this for me and everyone else waiting out there… What do you say?"

"I say that I never actually refered to you as 'cool kids', you're far from the coolest and England is not rainy-scone-land, it's England. But… I'll do it… I suppose I really should."

"Yes! That's the spirit!" He pulled me into a bone-crushing hug.

I patted his back, unsure of what to do, I was rather dazed by the sudden hug… It was warm… And quite comforting… All in all it was nice… I also started to realize that I couldn't breath.

"Oi, Alfred… Gerroff…!" I pushed him off me gently and he let go, sitting back on his heels. I felt a twinge of regret about that, perhaps it would have been easier to do this whole thing with him clinging onto me, I certainly felt a lot safer in his arms.

"And Artie?" He helped me to my feet; I wasn't shaking this time which was quite a result.

"Yes?"

"You'll be okay tomorrow, right? Cuz, y'know… The whole school will be there."

I paused before nodding, "This is the worst part, isn't it? Besides, when I say that I'll do it I really do mean that I'll do it."

"Really?! You'd do that for me?!"

"Yes I—Wait, no! I don't mean that I'll do it for you, I mean… Ach, we're wasting time! Let's just go."

I walked to the cupboard door, Alfred had closed it after him and I placed my hand on the handle ready to open it. It was bloody embarrassing. I was going to have to face them and after I had made such a scene.

Alfred's hand was on my shoulder before I even had time to finish my train of thought, "It's okay, go on."

Fucking Alfred, I didn't need his help… Well, not anymore.

"I know, I know!" I boldly opened the door before I had a chance to change my mind and steeped out into to blinding light.

I swear that I could actually hear a collective sigh of relief go through the hall.

Feliks stood up quickly and got between the dive of the football players and cheerleaders.

"Alright~! Now that we're all, like, totally here, it's time to get started!"

I looked over to the gang of boys that stood opposite us. I did recognize a few familiar face- there was Antonio who having some banter with Gilbert (thankfully Francis wasn't there, nothing could have been worse than that slimy frog watching this), and there were also a few American boys who I knew from some classes. Alfred was there too obviously, he was already back amongst them all already. His own little group was surrounding him, looks like he was quite popular…

Alright, 'quite popular' was a total understatement. In the few months that I had known him, Alfred seemed to have friends and acquaintances everywhere, we couldn't walk to classes with him bumping into at least two people that he knew.

Feliks carried on with his announcements, "So guys, get ready to be, like totally amazed and stuff~!"

Once our audience had settled down, Feliks got the camera rolling and we got into position. My mouth was dry and I felt almost ill but this was it, there was going to be no escape and no turning back. Once I got through the first performance was over my logic was that the others wouldn't pack this much punch.

Before I had any more time to contemplate this the music started and we all burst into action. I began to move in time with the beat, desperate to get the parts that Feliks had pointed out to me right.

I was surprised how easily it came to me, I hadn't a clue what to do only seconds ago but yet as Michelle and I crossed over we had near perfect rhythm.

Everything seeped out of my conscious thought and in no time at all, all that was left was me and my movements. Once again I was reminded of the reasons for me falling in love with this sport.

We were a team but each one of us worked as an individual, our movements all thrown together in a display of how to conform and how to be free.

The girls around me gripped me for my one lift, I could barely feel them as I was thrust up into the air, leaving everyone behind, the others flowered out beneath me.

Just as quickly as I had risen I was on my way back down again, my feet meeting with the world again, as I landed I felt light, it was thrilling.

It took another few seconds before the finishing move. I became a support for others as they in turn held up Elizaveta.

And then we were back in reality.

Done. I had done it and it was easy. Everyone clapped and even Feliks looked pleased.

We had made them applaud and it was easy. We had gotten Feliks happy with us and it was easy.

I felt on top of the world.

.oO0Oo.

There wasn't much point in doing anything else that lunchtime so when Feliks and the football coach agreed that we could all hang around and socialise until classes began the decision was well received.

I could see Alfred at the other end of the room, he was with a few friends but kept peeking over to me, I'm pretty sure that he wanted me over there, and of my own accord. Unfortunately for him that just too big of an ask, and I had someone else that I needed to first too.

"Feliks…" I tapped his shoulder, he was still chattering away to Elizaveta and Alyssa, another girl that I didn't know so well.

"Hmm? Oh! It's Arthur!" He looked happy enough to see me, a pleasant change from his recent sour mood.

"That's right. And I've come to apologise. What I did earlier earlier was completely selfish on my part; I have let you and the whole group down. I am sincerely sorry and it won't happen again."

Feliks looked stunned at first, who could blame him? I was never really one for apologies. But even my pride had its limits.

Feliks then grinned and his two cronies smiled with him.

"Heh, you're, like, totally right, it was super selfish! Buuuuut I guess we get it and stuff, it was, like, normal for a first performance, and you're, like, a guy so that's also not helping."

At least I had been forgiven, but remembering my foolishness still made me feel terrible.

"Besides," Alyssa spoke up, "We all knew that you'd do it in the end~"

"Eh? How so?" I didn't even know that I was going to do it…

She grinned, "You were bound to come out when Alfred spoke to you!"

I took a moment just to stare at the laughing trio. Why on earth would they assume… I didn't even want to know. I promptly turned and just left at that moment. I didn't feel as bad now though, I felt more self righteous… so I suppose I was thankful for that.

I looked over to Alfred again; he was still sending me glances from his end of the hall. I didn't really want to go over to him but what choice had I? I needed a word with him too.

"Artie!" He excitedly called my name the moment I set a foot in his direction, "You coming to talk to your hero again?"

I rolled my eyes as I sauntered over as casually as I could, "Yes, actually… Come over here I want a word with you."

He paused and even took the time to glance around the rest of the room to make sure I wasn't a hallucination before taking a few steps with me away from the small crowd that he was with, "Yeah… What's up?"

I sighed and cleared my throat, how hard was this going to be? "I want to say thank you… for bringing my around to my senses earlier… So… Thank you."

He laughed and put an arm around me, "Aww, Artie! I told you you could do it! Ha! And you were so great!"

I shot a look up to his face to find that he was grinning widely. The bastard was like some kind of puppy.

I also happened to notice that the people that he was speaking to before me were all looking at us and whispering to each other.

"Umm… Why are they looking at us that way?" I asked quietly and discreetly pointed over to them.

"Oh they're just talking about us~ Anything else that you wanted to tell me by the way?"

Was that meant to make me feel better?

"What are they saying?"

"I told them that we're a married couple! Cute right?"

That wasn't right.

"You… Told them what?" I didn't know what to think.

He shrugged, "They all thought it so there was no point denying it~!"

My confusion quickly turned to rage and before I knew it, humiliation.

I wanted to hit him there and then. Why did he say something so stupid?!

"You…"

"Eh?" Fool. He hadn't even noticed how I was feeling yet.

"Did you not even think about how I would feel about that?! You idiot… You know that I don't like that sort of thing, you bastard!"

I think in that precise moment I could pinpoint the moment when his merriment turned to dread.

"Oh, shit, Artie I—"

"You what?! Completely forgot how much I would hate what you've done? I thought we were maybe… Sort of… Friends… But if you just want to keep me as another bad joke that's fine with me."

"But—"

"If you were even thinking of me a tiny bit then you would have realized how these things upset me."

I left it there, skulking off away to get changed before he had the opportunity to say another word and for my face to burn any hotter.

He knew what I was like, and saw perfectly well how I was towards him. If he had considered that for just one second I'm sure that he wouldn't have said what he had.

I was still trying to figure out where we stood myself… what gave him the right to just decide for me?

.oO0Oo.

I didn't wait for Alfred before walking home that day. I was still too embarrassed and angry.

Instead I got home earlier, powered through my homework and read over my school notes, I was tense enough to study like a machine, it was a peculiar trait of mine. My best work came out when I was in a bad mood.

After a minimal dinner I let myself sit back for a bit, I brewed some tea and took out a newspaper, turning immediately to the crossword at the back, both home comforts and both were excellent at taking my mind off things.

I loved crossword puzzles almost as much as I loved tea. They were a good challenge and so very satisfying, my favorite part of the whole newspaper and so much better than that Sudoku rubbish.

People probably only really liked Sudoku any because its numbers. And they had that silly thing that numbers were the same everywhere and that's wonderful going on. That factor more repelled me from them. There's something very enchanting about words and language. Their meanings just so often change, just look at Shakespeare, there are already so many changes in the English language, it's fascinating. Not to mention that the bard was an English man. Not some Greek weirdo running around in a toga and playing with an abacus. Words change in the future, along with how we communicate as a whole. Plus in a few thousand years I don't want some bloke to dig up my newspaper as an ancient relic of the past and laugh at me because that two in the corner was supposed to be a four. I want him to be intrigued. I was crossword man.

And this was how I took my mind off things.

My pen was poised to fill in the word 'jag' (Scottish prick in a fast car (3)) when someone knocked on the door. I groaned. I was really not in the mood for visitors.

Thankfully it was only Toris.

"Hello…" I greeted him with a nod and a half smile.

"Arthur, sorry for bothering you, I brought you this." He held out a blank disc, "From Feliks, it's the recording of you guys doing your routine earlier… you didn't get one, right?"

I sighed inwardly. It looked like the crossword would have to wait a while longer.

"Oh yes," I reluctantly took the disc, "You weren't there again…"

"That's right, I wasn't~ I wont be able to come often but when I can I will." He smiled, I assumed that his absence was again to do with catching up on school work.

Another voice came from along the corridor, I instantly recognized it, "Toriiiiiiiiss… You, need to, like, totally hurry up and come back!"

It seemed that Toris wasn't alone that night.

"Coming Feliks, just let me talk to Arthur, okay?"

"Oh yeah! Right!" And suddenly Feliks had appeared, joining Toris at the doorway, I noticed his arm loop around Toris' waist and pull him closer. It was somehow an odd sight, I had never really seen them act affectionately towards each other like this…

Feliks turned to me, "Hey Arthur where'd you go earlier? You just, like, left."

Ugh, trust Feliks to bring up something like that.

"I just had enough… Nothing to worry about." Or rather no one else's business.

He shrugged, "Well whatever happened it, like, totally did a number on Alfred~"

Suddenly he had my attention.

"W-What do you mean by that?"

"I mean that he was, like, not even talking to anyone and just kept on pacing around and stuff! Then he, like, randomly left two minutes after you!"

I wasn't sure of what to think of that. I had no reply, I could honestly sy that I had not expected that to happen.

Luckily for me the smarted of the pair sensed the mood and poked Feliks on the arm, "Come on, let's leave him to watch that disc."

Toris then leaned in and whispered something inaudible into Feliks' ear before they both said their goodbyes and left me to myself.

I was in no mood for crosswords anymore, nor watching the disc I had been given. I was still trying to make sense of what Feliks had just told me.

I 'did a number on Alfred' this wasn't I wanted. Shit. I was becoming aware of how silly this whole thing was. And that wasn't a nice feeling.

It was funny how so recently I would have actually wanted Alfred to feel like that, I would have relished in it. I had spent a long time wishing for my harsh word to make an impact but now that they had I wished that they hadn't.

Another knock at the door. Bloody hell, people were really choosing the wrong day to suddenly desperately want to become my guest.

I opened the door expecting to see Feliks again, come to make feel even worse about myself.

It wasn't.

It was Alfred.