Notes: Chapter contains sexual content. Please skip if sensitive.

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Chapter 14 – January 9-10, 2004

Hermione followed Draco through the fireplace back into his flat, watching with concern as he slumped onto the couch, dropping his head into his hands. She remained standing on the other side of the low table between them rubbing at her arm. It was difficult to remain still with how thick the air felt around them. Draco didn't move for almost two minutes (Hermione was counting the seconds in her head) and when he did, it was to let out a long, deep breath. And then his shoulders began to shake, followed by a soft cry. Hermione felt her eyes widen as she took in the image and crossed the room.

She sat down slowly beside Draco on the couch and reached her hand out to rub his back, unsure of what else to do. Draco flinched, not expecting the contact, but relaxed after a moment and inched closer to Hermione so she could wrap her arm around his back. After several minutes his sobs began to lessen, and his shoulders stilled. Hermione moved her hand to her lap as Draco raised his head, swiping his thumb under his eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." He whispered.

"Why? It takes a lot of courage to show your true feelings, Draco. Don't be sorry."

"That's not it." Draco sighed. "I was raised to never show weakness. Especially like this. And especially in front of a woman. It's indecent." Draco said the last two words in a mocking voice, very like Narcissa's.

Hermione was sure it was his mother who taught him that it was improper, and his father that it was weakness.

"I feel safe with you." Draco admitted. He raised his gray eyes, still glassy, to Hermione's brown ones, and attempted to smile. It wobbled and quickly faded before there was even a chance for the corners of his mouth to lift. "I can be myself with you and not worry about what you'll say or think."

Hermione was floored. She already knew Draco felt confident enough to speak his mind around her. She had no idea that he also felt safe. That he trusted her. Speechless, she reached over and took his hand where it lay in his lap and held it between hers. There were so many things she wanted to say, to ask. But none of them seemed appropriate. They sat in silence as Draco breathed in and out. He was hyper-aware of Hermione's hands around his own. His fingers flexed, tightening, loosening, and tightening again. As though he needed to remind himself that she was still sitting there beside him. That he hadn't scared her off yet. Draco stared at the rug under his feet, his eyes blurring in and out as he tried to pick out the patterns in the expensive Persian.

"You should get some rest." Hermione said quietly, finally breaking the silence. She shifted and Draco's grip on her hand tightened significantly.

"Don't go." He tore his eyes from the floor and gazed at her. Hermione wasn't sure if she was seeing fear, desperation, or even anxiety. Maybe it was all three. She settled beside him and Draco visibly relaxed.

"I'm not going anywhere." Hermione promised.

"I don't deserve this." Draco muttered a moment later.

"Don't deserve what? My being here? Don't be ridiculous, Draco. You asked me to stay with you and I will. Even if you didn't want me here, I would still stay. I'm not leaving you alone after what has happened tonight."

Draco looked up again at those words to find Hermione's eyes were waiting for his. He saw the truth in them at once, and leaned in, unable to stop himself. He reached for Hermione beside him, his hands finding her waist, and drew her closer. One hand moved up to hold the back of her neck and thread into her hair. His fingers massaged her scalp, kneading away the tension he felt in her body. Hermione melted against him for several moments. But then something made her stop and she pulled back.

"I don't think this is a good idea."

"What?"

"This. Us. Right now. I mean, you just lost your father."

"If you think you're taking advantage of me, then you're mistaken."

That had been one thought. But what was really troubling her was that she didn't know if this was the right thing to do. Was it just reactionary? She knew Draco was attracted to her, their brief snog earlier in the evening had proven that.

At that moment she would have been more than willing. What concerned her now was that Draco wanted to bury his feelings. He wanted to hide from the emotions that threatened to spill over and consume him. She wasn't against the idea. But she did not want to be a crutch either.

"I won't make you do anything you don't want to do."

"I know that. I'm questioning..."

"My motives?" Draco interjected. Hermione nodded, her cheeks pinking with embarrassment. "I can assure you I'm thinking clearly. And that there is nothing I want more right now than you." To emphasize his point, Draco leaned in and kissed her softly this time. "Stay with me, please?"

"If that's what you need."

"I need you." He stood from the couch and offered his hand.

Hermione took it and let herself be pulled to her feet. Draco captured her in another kiss, backing her slowly towards the nearest wall. "Wait," Hermione broke from him again. "I really don't think we should do this. Not under these circumstances. I know you say you're thinking clearly…but Draco…I know you. And you never let your emotions show if you can help it. Only minutes ago you were breaking down."

Draco let out a breath. "I don't know a way I can prove this to you, Hermione. You're right. I don't like to let my emotions show."

"I understand that. And if I stay, how are you going to deal with your grief when I leave in the morning? You can't just run away from it. Or pretend it doesn't exist. And don't tell me you're pushing it down for my benefit."

Draco took her hand and pressed it against his chest so that she could feel the rhythm of his heart. It wasn't slow. "I'm not asking for a commitment. Just tonight. And not because I want to forget. Because I need to remember."

"And how exactly will I help with that?"

"By keeping my emotions on the surface. I can't hide from them when they are right in front of me."

Hermione thought that over as her fingers toyed with the first button on Draco's shirt. "What will this mean for us after tonight?"

Draco leaned in as though he were going to kiss her again, but he brought his mouth up against her ear and whispered, "I guess we'll see in the morning." He pulled back. "If you still want to stay."

"I'll stay. Because I want to."

Draco felt the corners of his mouth pull up. He leaned in again, kissing her this time. Hermione kissed back, undoing the first two buttons of his shirt. Draco broke the embrace first and offered Hermione his hand again. She took it and let him lead her down the hall toward the last door on the left.

Hermione walked in first, watching as unseen lights turned on around the room. Draco's décor was simple but tasteful. Hardwood furniture stained either dark grey or black set against blue painted walls. His bedspread was varying shades of blue and grey. Long ivory colored curtains hung from a silver bar above the floor-to-ceiling windows across from the bed. They rippled from a light breeze coming into the room, the bottom fluttering inward and swaying back toward the window.

"You look surprised." Draco commented, watching Hermione take in her surroundings.

"I am." She turned back to him. "There is a surprising lack of green in here."

Draco smirked wryly and glanced around the room as well. "I didn't find it necessary."

"Hm," Hermione hummed and returned to her perusal.

There was an overall lack of clutter and personal items scattered around. Hermione spotted a silver pocket watch on one nightstand (the side of the bed Draco obviously slept on), propped open and ticking away. A lamp adorned each stand, both on but dim. Atop the dresser were two framed wizard photographs. The one in front was of Draco and, Hermione assumed, his fellow curse-breakers on an expedition. He didn't look much different in the picture than he did now, so it must have been from the past few years. Draco stood at the back, hands clasped behind him, a solemn expression on his face. Beside him was a taller man Hermione guessed was his mentor and predecessor, Jenkins. Around them was a team of five other curse-breakers, all smiling and laughing. Even Jenkins was grinning. But Draco just stared straight ahead. The group stood against a back drop of an open tomb, and beyond that a tall mountain.

The picture behind it was one she knew. A much younger Narcissa Malfoy stood at the edge of a duck pond, a tiny blonde-haired boy hanging onto her hand as he threw something into the pond. Draco's small face turned toward her, as did Narcissa's, and they both smiled and waved. The picture returned to the moment where Draco was throwing something into the pond and then he and his mother both turned and smiled again.

"Who took this one?" She asked, picking up the elaborate silver frame the picture was displayed in.

"My father, actually." Draco sighed behind her, reaching for the frame in her hand. Hermione turned sympathetic eyes to him. "I don't even remember this day. But I've had this picture for as long as I can recall. It comes with me everywhere I go."

Hermione watched Draco stare at the picture, a wistful expression on his face. He replaced the picture to its spot on his dresser and turned to her. "Draco," She began, "If you aren't sure…" But her words were cut off as Draco's mouth closed over hers. He kissed her firmly, but without haste. One hand snaked around her back and gripped at the material of her blouse, crushing it in his fist. His other hand clutched her hip, fingertips digging into her skin.

Hermione tensed up at first, not ready for the embrace when it happened. But Draco's soft lips coaxed her into a more relaxed state, physically and mentally, and she melted into him. Her arms reached up and around his neck. The fingers of her right hand buried themselves in his blonde hair, tugging softly.

Draco grunted into her mouth, liking the sensation. He pressed Hermione closer to him with the hand on her back and pushed his hips forward at the same time. Hermione gasped, as he had expected, at the bulge against her stomach. Draco took the opportunity to deepen the kiss between them. He probed the inside of her mouth with a tentative swipe of his tongue, pleased when she probed back, pushing her body further against his.

They broke apart breathing heavily, staring into each other eyes. Hermione leaned up and kissed his jaw, working her way to the other side as her fingers made quick work of the buttons of his shirt. Draco let her push the garment off his shoulders leaving him bare from the waist up. Hermione took a moment to appreciate the site before her. Where she had expected pale skin and a skinny torso, Draco was lightly tanned, his muscles cut and clearly defined. Her fingers found the V at his hips and she ran them lightly over the indentations.

To his surprise, Draco shivered under her touch. His muscles quivered on contact, the vibration going through his entire body. Hermione quirked an eyebrow at him. "How long has it been since you were with a witch?"

"It's been some time." Draco answered honestly, blushing. He managed a small, embarrassed smile.

Hermione leaned up and kissed him lightly. "We can go slow." She promised.

"I would like that." Draco smiled briefly against her lips before initiating the next kiss. This time he backed Hermione toward his bed as he unbuttoned her blouse and pushed it down her arms. His hands fell back to her hips and stroked the exposed skin. His fingers slowly made their way around to her lower back where he pulled down the zipper of her skirt.

It hung loosely on her hips for a few minutes as Hermione divested him of his trousers and he slipped off his shoes and socks. Hermione stepped out of her heels and lowered her skirt, adding it to the pile of clothes around them. Draco took in her matching bra and knickers as she stood back up. Cream-colored lace that was almost sheer enough to see through.

Hermione began to reach behind her back to unhook her bra, but Draco put his hands up to stop her. Hermione paused, watching (warily, Draco noticed) as he closed the space between them. "Let me." Draco offered. "Turn."

Hermione turned, pulling her hair over one shoulder, silently granting him access to her personal space. Draco reached out, noticing the tremor in his hands and prayed Hermione didn't feel it as he slipped the hook apart and brushed the straps down her arms. The garment hit his bedroom floor with a muted sound of fabric against carpet. Hermione started to turn back around but Draco stopped her with his hands on her waist. "Stay." He breathed the word into her ear and squeezed her waist.

The shiver that went down Hermione's body gave him pause, but she didn't object. Draco smiled and leaned in to place a light kiss below her ear. He waited to see her reaction (a deep sigh that sounded as though it originated in her toes) and he kissed the skin just to the left of the previous spot. Draco kept one hand on her hip and began to slowly trail the other up her body. His mouth moved down her neck in conjunction and across her shoulder, leaving a trail of soft kisses behind.

Hermione shivered again, her breath hitching as his fingers skimmed the underside of her left breast. Draco sighed out loud when he felt the softness of her skin and cupped her breast in his hand. Hermione moaned this time, her chest heaving, pushing her breast further into Draco's hand.

Draco moved his mouth to her other shoulder and began to suck a mark into her skin. Hermione was panting when he drew back, his hand still molding around her breast, squeezing. Draco ran his thumb over her nipple, making Hermione cry out. Her hips flexed under his hand trying to find friction. Draco let her go completely and turned her around.

Hermione's cheeks were pink with heat, her pupils slightly dilated, and (Draco noticed with a smug smile) her breasts were heaving, nipples a dusky pink. He moved his hands slowly down her hips to the waistband of her knickers, his eyes never leaving hers. Hermione nodded, giving him permission once more. Draco slipped his hands past the elastic and pushed the material down. Hermione dipped to remove her last piece of clothing and stood to find that Draco had also removed his last remaining article as well.

They stood staring at each other for several moments, an awkward silence descending until Hermione offered her hand out for Draco to take. He reached for it hesitantly. As soon as his fingers lay in hers all the tension went out of his body. He pulled Hermione over to the side of his bed and sat down, drawing her into his lap. They both squirmed as his erection rubbed her belly. Draco let his head fall back a little, moaning softly. He fell to his back, taking Hermione with him. They rolled and shifted on the bed until Hermione was propped against his pillows and Draco hovered over her.

He supported himself on his hands and knees, gazing down at the witch beneath him, her cinnamon-colored curls fanned out in a soft halo. He watched as her blush began to warm her cheeks again and creep up past her temples. Hermione covered her face with her hands for a moment, mortified for some reason she could not place.

Draco drew her hands down, clasping them in his own. He pulled them over her head and squeezed. Hermione squeezed back, taking a moment to look down the length of their bodies between them. She spread her knees to make room for Draco and he reached down to position the head of his erection at her entrance. He grasped Hermione's hand again and pinned it above her head, then began to push in. Hermione parted her knees more the further he sank, opening herself up. Draco grunted as she shifted beneath him. Every time she moved her muscles squeezed, creating a vice around his length. He pushed in harder, bringing his hips flush with Hermione's once he was fully inside. She keened beneath him, arching her back. Her knees squeezed his hips and her legs wrapped reflexively around his waist, heels dug into the small of his back, pushing him deeper still.

Draco pulled halfway out and sunk back in, fitting like a jigsaw piece against her body. Hermione arched her back slightly as he slid back inside, meeting him halfway. Draco let her hands go and sunk down to his elbows. He moved a little faster, a little harder. Hermione met him each time. Her arms wrapped around his back, nails digging into his skin.

He hissed at the bite, and Hermione paused. "I'm sorry." She panted.

"No, I liked it." Draco admitted. Hermione smiled and dragged her nails down his spine, softer this time. Slower. Draco pushed into her with a grunt and lowered his body even closer to hers. He slowed as he closed the space between them and felt Hermione lock her feet on his lower back, limiting his motion. He leaned down and kissed her deeply, drawing out as far as he could before he thrust back in. Her body let him go and accepted him back eagerly. It was like being wrapped in satin warmed by the sun. Every inch of her skin against his tingled.

"Is this what making love is supposed to be?" He asked as their bodies continued to move together.

Hermione felt her brows draw together in confusion. "I thought you said you've done this before."

"I have. But not like this."

Hermione smiled and swallowed thickly. How long has it really been for him? she thought. She leaned up and kissed Draco and he responded enthusiastically. "Sit up." She requested when they parted.

Draco stopped moving for a minute to sit up, bringing Hermione with him. He slipped out of her, immediately wanting for the tight feel of her wrapped back around him. Hermione settled in his lap, gripping his length in her hand and slid down until she was fully seated. Draco gasped and made a sound in his chest that was almost a growl.

"Now lay back." She asked next. Draco did, lowering to his back so his head was at the foot of the bed. Hermione reached for his hands and pinned them down with her own. "When was the last time a witch rode you?" She asked already bucking her hips forward at a slow pace.

"Never like this." He answered with a grin.

Hermione kissed him until they were both choking for air. "Good." She smiled against his mouth. She sat up and let go of his hands, placing them on her waist. She continued to move over him at her own pace but adapted to what he needed from her. Draco squeezed when he wanted her to ride him harder or faster and loosened his grip when he needed her to slow. One hand fell to squeeze her thigh and he left it there. Hermione seemed to like it, especially when he gripped her, and the tips of his blunt nails just barely dug into her skin.

It didn't take long for either of them to feel the build up towards release. Hermione's movements became a little more frantic, more focused on the friction between their bodies. Draco pumped upwards with more concentration, trying to meet her downward thrust. Hermione bent forward, supporting herself on her arms and pushed down so that Draco was fully inside her and moved her hips forward. He barely moved in and out of her now, her body squeezing his like a vice. He was so close.

Hermione leaned down and kissed Draco desperately. He reached between their bodies, finding the bundle of nerves at the apex of her sex and pressed. Hermione pulled back from him crying out as her orgasm washed over her. She bucked wildly over him. Draco felt her muscles flutter and contract around his cock and then his world exploded.

When he could see, and breathe, and think again, Hermione was lying next to him. They were still joined, but she lay with half her body covering his, her chin propped on his chest. She smiled softly and reached up to brush a piece of hair out of his eyes. "Have you ever been told that you're beautiful?" She asked.

"Only by my mother." Draco propped himself up on his elbows. Hermione sat up halfway, supporting herself on her arm. "And only a few times in my life."

"I think you're beautiful."

Draco blushed and cast his eyes downward. He looked up when he felt Hermione shift. She sat back up across his body, spreading her thighs on either side of his hips. Draco relaxed back down, an amused smile lighting up his features. He held her waist softly, waiting for Hermione to move first. But she sat above him, petting his chest.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm enjoying this moment."

Draco rubbed his hands up and down her sides and then down her thighs, resting his palms just above her knees. Hermione thought he was beautiful. Well, Draco thought, she was exquisite. And he was determined to show her just how much he believed that.

~S~

They awoke a few hours later, tangled together at the end of Draco's bed. Hermione lay with her head on his chest, one arm draped across his torso. Draco had both arms wrapped around her, holding her against the side of his body. He opened his eyes first, taking in the sight of Hermione curled up on his chest, her head rising and falling as he breathed. He brushed her hair behind her ear so he could see her face more clearly. Hermione's eyes were shut, lids relaxed, breathing deeply. Little puffs of air ghosted over his skin as she exhaled. Draco laid his head back down and closed his eyes, intent on going back to sleep.

Just as his brain began to drift back off he felt Hermione stir beside him and let out a soft moan. So much for sleeping, Draco mused. Not that he was disappointed. Not in the least. She stretched and moaned again, eyes blinking slowly. Her face turned up toward his with a sleepy smile, and she breathed, "Hey,"

"Hey," Draco responded. Hermione tipped her face closer and Draco met her halfway. They kissed lazily for several seconds before Hermione snuggled her head on his chest again.

"Any idea what time it is?" She asked, looking up the length of the bed to where their feet twined together on the pillows.

"Close to dawn." Draco guessed. "Finite." He spoke quietly, and the muted lights around the room went out. It took his eyes a moment to adjust to the sudden dimness, but once he could see clearly again, Draco looked toward the window and the light coming in from underneath the curtains. There was not much, which made him think it wasn't as close to dawn as he first suspected.

"Still very early." Hermione corrected, following Draco's gaze.

"So it would seem." He started to sit up a little, pushing onto his elbows.

Hermione sat up as well, watching him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I need the loo."

The moment the word left his mouth, Hermione felt the undeniable urge as well. Draco graciously let her go first. The fact that he got to watch the sway of her hips was an added bonus as she crossed his room. Her figure was silhouetted in the doorway for a moment as she turned the light on, and then the door shut.

Draco lay back down and tried not to listen to the muted sounds of Hermione using the loo. He focused instead on the shadows on his ceiling. This was quickly becoming his new habit, he had realized, whenever his brain needed to mull something over.

Like Hermione Granger.

Hermione. The muggle-born witch he had tormented for almost their entire school career.

Hermione. The Ministry witch who broke down his walls with her persistence and Gryfffindor stubbornness.

Hermione. The woman he took to bed tonight. Not because he wanted sex. Because he needed her.

The door opened, and light spilled into the bedroom. Draco turned slightly to watch as Hermione crossed the room back to bed and got up beside him. "Your turn."

Draco heaved himself off the bed and padded across the room to facilitate his needs. When he came back out he saw that Hermione was now lying at the head of the bed, curled up on her side, waiting for him.

"How close to dawn do you think it is?" She asked as Draco approached.

Draco pulled one curtain back and peered out at the London cityscape. The sky was still mostly dark blue overhead. In the east, though, he could see the faintest lightening to the sky. "A few hours. Maybe less." Draco surmised, and flicked the curtain shut.

~S~

They finally extricated themselves from Draco's bed after the sun was well up and slanting through the curtains. Hermione opted to return to her flat, wanting to give Draco time alone with this thoughts to process everything from last night and prepare himself for seeing his mother. He kissed her goodbye at the Floo, with the sheet wrapped around his waist. Draco held her tight, fingers digging into her hips as his lips slid over hers. It was deep and desperate. He didn't want her to go. Hermione knew he didn't, but it was for the best. She doubted Narcissa was ready to accept her as her son's significant other. And Hermione wasn't going to push it on the widow.

Draco squeezed her hips one more time then pulled back, but his hands remained planted, rubbing up and down her sides. "Let me know if you need anything." Hermione requested, as her hands slid from around his neck down to his chest.

"Don't go." Draco smiled.

"I don't want to. But I know you mother isn't ready for this."

Draco sighed, but the smile didn't falter. "I know you're right. And I know my mother isn't ready…" He trailed off for a moment and closed his eyes. "I just want her to know how…" He paused again looking unsure. Draco didn't know how much he wanted to reveal right away and wasn't in the habit of wearing his heart on his sleeve. "…How at peace I feel." He finished in a quiet voice.

Hermione's face fell. She had thought for a moment he would say 'happy'. But she would settle for peaceful. She understood. She quickly composed her features into a soft smile and leaned up to peck Draco on his mouth one time more. "Maybe I'll see you tonight?"

"Maybe. I don't want to promise. My mother and I have a lot to discuss today."

Hermione imagined they did. Lucius had been the family patriarch, and now that he was gone, Draco inherited the role. He had a choice, of course, to refuse and pass the title to his mother. Hermione knew he wouldn't. He would not put that kind of strain on his mother's shoulders. She wondered if Draco and his mother could jointly hold the title, even temporarily. But that was a thought for another day.

For now, she let Draco wrap her up in his arms and press a final kiss to the top of her head.

"I'll see you tomorrow if not tonight." Draco could promise this at least.

"Tomorrow it is then." Hermione accepted. She pulled away at last and stepped toward the Floo.

Draco watched her go, feeling a mix of longing and relief. He wanted Hermione to stay with him. To go with him to see his mother. At the same time, though, he was almost glad she had accepted his agreement to not display their relationship so openly in front of his mother. It was going to be hard enough dealing with everything without adding a relationship on top of it.

When they were ready they could come forward.

For now, it would be a secret. Or as much of one as they could make it.