A/N: Edited 8-14-2017

I lied. This is probably my favourite chapter.

Playlist: Forever Young (Bob Dylan Cover) - Audra Mae & the Forest Rangers

Disclaimer: Sutter/FX own SOA

I did a double take, not registering that Happy was speaking to me. It was the expression on Kozik's face that brought me to full realization. I faced Happy, who'd already passed and was sitting on his Dyna. My eyes widened as I fully processed his words.

"I thou – … Ok." I stuttered.

I began the short trek to his bike, all the while feeling like time was standing still. I couldn't recall a moment in time I'd been this nervous about anything. Sure there were times when I was a ball of nerves, but nothing mounted up to the same feeling that I was experiencing right now. My entire body felt like an open ending, each touch and motion amplified throughout me.

I gripped Happy's shoulder, climbing on the bike, straddling the seat behind him. I'd never been on a motorcycle before. I was mildly more comfortable with the idea of being behind Kozik, as I'd already expressed my ineptness when it came to riding. Being paired with Happy made that ineptness much more embarrassing. I took a deep breath, and wrapped my arms around Happy's middle. The pit of my stomach dropped the instant my feet hooked into the metal rests on the side. Happy shifted, flicking up the kickstand and I squeaked in protest.

"Ohmygod!" The expression escaped all in one breath, "Don't be a baby."

He hadn't even turned the bike on yet. I felt a low rumble roll through his body. He was laughing at me. If I wasn't terrified about falling off I'd shove him. Luckily for him, I was frozen in terror. He got a pass this one time. He flicked the ignition, the roar of the engine vibrating through me. I tightened my arms around him while squeezing my eyes shut. In order to save myself from more fright, I tucked my head in against his firm shoulder.

Before kicking off I felt his rough hand curl around my wrists, giving a reassuring squeeze. My stomach plummeted for a second time, but this time it was arousal shooting through me. I gulped. This was neither the time nor place to have such strong emotions. Hell, I wasn't even sure what caused this sudden change in him, but there was no way that he was on the same level of infatuation as I was. Unfortunately I couldn't help the unconscious response to his touch. I snuggled in closer, tightening my hold and fitting into the grooves of shoulder blades.

He pushed off, his feet settling in on the bars in front and I made sure I was secure as he slowly rolled down the driveway. Unfortunately my nerves were no match for this kind of thrill. They were still standing on edge, as if I'd fall off at any second to my inevitable doom. The bike rode along smoothly, allowing me time to soothe my frayed nerves. When the first turn came I let out a startled squeal, causing another wave of laughter through my biker.

"Shut up." I shout-whispered in his ear.

There was no way to tell if he heard me but I was ninety-nine percent sure he did. We rode along, through the streets, tilting gently with every turn. Regardless of the steady speed, each turn, tilt and bend, caused my body to quake with unease. I eventually calmed down enough to open my eyes, but remained plastered his back. I watched the scenery move past me in a subdued rush. Before I knew it we were boarding the freeway on ramp and I began panicking as his bike consistently picked up in acceleration.

I clamped my eyes shut again, thankful that I had on a backpack. It felt as though it was making heavier. Or at least tethered. With the force of the wind whipping around us, I really did fear I was going to fly off. I'd never given it much thought before but, it took a lot to be able to ride a Harley with ease. It felt as though I might shake right off the back if I didn't have Happy as my anchor. I had a new profound appreciation for anyone – man or woman – who rode these monstrous vehicles. There was no way I'd be getting on the back of one of these again any time soon.

After a good ten minutes of driving at ungodly speeds, I felt ready to open my eyes again. Fortunately for me my head was turned sideways. Happy's torso broke the wind around him, giving me the opportunity to see what was around. The boys were scattered around the two lane highway. I could hear the roar of their engines over the rushing wind and it gave me an odd sense of tranquility. I'd always loved the open road. I think everyone did. There was much more to it than that. There was something appealing about having no immediate destination. A long drive, to clear one's thoughts.

I shifted, careful not to disturb my rider. Even after all the obvious hostility between Happy and I, I found it comfortable sitting behind him. If I were to be completely honest, I felt like a queen. There was just something about being the only other person on the back of his motorcycle. In my dream world, it was as if he was parading me around. Showing me off as his. I laughed internally. I was being such a child. Creating intricate fantasies about why I wished he asked me to ride with him. My crush was reaching exponentially ridiculous levels.

I had to admit though he may not be on my level, this was at least some kind of progress. I couldn't be sure what his end game was. But, in this moment I was fine with being close, getting a chance to hold him. I straightened my back, nestling higher against him. I peeked over his shoulder, the gusts pushing hard against my sunglasses. He was travelling close behind Tig and next to Chibs. I saw no signs of Kozik, which made me think he was behind us. Chibs glanced over, noticing as I gazed around. He tipped his head in my direction and I shot him a quick smile. Now that I was used to it, I liked being on his bike.

About an hour and a half had passed without any interruption. I had proceeded to lay my head against the back of Happy's shoulder, relaxing fully into his frame. My arms were no longer constricting around him but instead were comfortably wrapped around. I felt as he turned his head, and nodded. I shifted back looking up to see what was going on. Happy veered off to the left, leaving the rest of the Sons. The group remained on course, heading straight.

I raised an eyebrow, unclear about why we were disbanding. I contemplated asking him out loud where we were headed but, knew that even if he did hear me his answer would most likely get lost in the air. I settled back down, putting more trust in him than I imagined. I was letting him take me wherever it was he had in mind.

It wasn't much later that I recognized the highway we were on. He diverted to route 1, driving us along the coast. I moved my head to the lay in the other direction, facing west and staring out at the open waters. I loved living on the west coast, not only because the weather was generally warm all year round, but also because the ocean was close by. The water was shining in the late afternoon sun, reflecting a deep yellow out to us. I loosened my grip enough to manoeuvre myself to get a better look. I was captivated with the view.

I never really appreciated the location of this highway. It was a major tourist attraction but most of us Californians undervalued the route. The coast line was vast with beautiful views, always up for the taking and now, on the back of a Harley, I was fully comprehending why so many people travelled this way to drive along it.

We spent the remainder of our afternoon heading towards SanFran, coasting along the route. I had my head leaning against Happy's back enjoying the afternoon view, when for a second time he veered off to his left. I straightened, watching as we turned off the highway. We came to a stop along the side of the road, overlooking a particularly open spot. He pushed out the kickstand and I took the hint.

I attempted a steady landing off the side, appearing to lose all gracefulness I possessed in the motion. I huffed when I finally righted myself. Happy watched the entire display. When I turned towards him, he was sporting a sly grin. My cheeks heated, knowing he watched my clumsy self. In an effort to fight the embarrassment, I rolled my eyes. Coming around the back of the Harley, I matched his position. Together we leaned against the seat, overlooking the ocean. We gazed out at the scenery, listening to the rolling waves, and seagulls cry.

I pulled the helmet off, giving my hair a chance to soak up the salt in the air. I ran a hand through my locks, fluffing them from the setting hat head. Happy reached into is jean pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. Tapping the bottom of the package, he grabbed a smoke.

Leaving the cigarette to hang from his lips, he cupped his hand around the end. His other hand searched through his pockets, eventually finding a match. Flicking the match with his thumb, it lit and he hovered it over the end of his smoke. He inhaled deeply before exhaling. He was careful to angle away from me on his exhale. In the next second I found the cigarette hovering in my line of vision. His offering.

I chuckled with a shake of my head, "When have you ever seen me smoke?"

He gazed at me out of the corner of his eye, obviously thinking about it and then shrugged in response. I grinned broader, knowing that I did enjoy a little smoke here and there. Just not tobacco. I turned back to the ocean. The sun was setting now. Both our gazes were set on watching the changing colours. It was in that moment that Happy planned this. Or at least gave it some thought. Not a long-time plan. It was something he must have come up with while on the road back to Charming.

His detour was deliberate. He decidedly took this route so that we could see the sun set on the water. I leaned sideways – the tiniest distance from him – to take in his profile. His eyes flicked in my direction. He noticed the change in demeanour but never actually fully turned in my direction. If I hadn't known better, I would say he'd done this with all the other girls he took on dates. However, I knew that in the entire time he'd been part of the Sons of Anarchy, no one had ever seen a woman on the back of his bike.

Letting all pretenses of my infatuation fall, my mind began to whirl. Was this his version of a date? How we ended up here, I didn't know. Just this morning he was acting as if I didn't exist. I rounded back to the thought of this being a first date. If it was, it was incredibly romantic. A word I was positive wasn't in his vocabulary. My inner teen flushed. Ecstatic with this new development. It brought me back to his mother. What had their conversation been about after I went outside? Had she picked up on my feelings for him? Had he told her about the kiss? I had no idea. I didn't even know what his dynamic with his mother was.

My mind reeled making me highly aware of the minute distance between us. It couldn't be anymore than a centimetre. There was a pulse of strong energy between us. Or at least what I was imagining to be. Happy continued to gaze forward, smoking away. I bit down on my lower lip, fighting the huge grin. If this was his softer side showing, then I liked it. Hell, I even liked him when he wasn't like this.

I relaxed backwards. This was a perfect way to end the day. I readjusted my position, watching the sun continually go down. The colours switching between oranges, pinks, golds, crimsons, purples and yellows. There was a numbing sensation on the side of my face and I glanced up to find Happy watching me. His gaze never wavered, even when my eyes met his. I offered him a small smile. It may have been a trick of my imagination but I swore I saw a twitch of his lips. A firm blush rested on my cheeks as I faced forward again. The numbing feeling never went away.

Every time he was around today, I'd been scarce. I knew he didn't want me there. I over corrected my steps, ensuring that we barely crossed paths. I couldn't place the change, or when it happened. That was fine. It occurred and now here I was, watching the sunset with the object of my affections. I swallowed, a knot forming in my stomach. I glanced down out of the corner of my eye. If I moved less than half a centimetre, my hand would be touching the side of his thigh.

Under the ruse of stretching, I slid closer. My leg sidled against his. My entire body hummed at the feeling. If he noticed, he didn't let on. I let my hands fall into my lap, clasping them together. I peeked up at him through my hair and he was flicking the ash away from his smoke. He must have felt my gaze because he glimpsed down at me, from the corners of his eyes. I didn't shy away, but neither did I meet him head on. A long moment passed while we watched one another.

Not long after that, the sun had set completely. He was the first to move, indicating we continue our drive. I waited as he straddled his bike, before climbing on behind him. My fingers gripped into his shoulder as I used his body strength for leverage. I settled against him, siding my legs in against his. A rush of heat pooled in my lower abdomen.

I let my hand drop from his shoulder, hooking around his middle. Of his own accord, he reached back for my other hand. His fingers curled around my wrist. I gasped at the contact. He brought my arm around, connecting it with my other. My heart thudded in my chest. Loud enough that it blocked all hearing from my ears. I moulded myself into him. My chest pressed snugly into his back. He shifted slightly as I got comfortable. I laid my head on his shoulder, keeping my face turned towards the ocean.

He pulled away, accelerating at a lazy pace. I kept my hold on him loose, allowing him better movement. At the same time, my embrace was possessive. I let my hands splay against the hard body in front of me. I allowed myself to fully embrace him. Not just hang on for dear life. I wanted to remember this. Enjoy it. There was no telling where we went from here, but I wasn't going to let this chance slip away from me. He followed route 1 all the way to San Francisco. The rushing wind and breaking waves our only soundtrack.

~(SOA)~

We drove straight up through San Francisco before he veered onto the 80 that took us across the gulf. Once we were in Oakland he continued North on the 580. Straight through to Berkeley. He took the proper exit off the highway, slowing to a regular speed for the streets. He maneuvered through the streets like he knew them. As if he'd been though Berkeley a thousand times. It wasn't until we were approaching my building that I realized I never gave him my address.

That thought brought back some former trepidation about the Sons. It reminded of the time they broke in. I shouldn't have been as shocked as I felt. Of course, he knew where I lived. They probably all did. I inhaled deeply, quelling my reservations. They were trying to protect themselves. I was still an outsider to them at that point. I didn't need to bring up any awkward questions. Not now. Not after the beautiful afternoon we shared.

Somewhere in the back of my mind a little voice noted that I couldn't just leave this alone. I'd eventually have to voice my concerns. Talk to them about respecting my privacy. I would. Just on another day. By the time Happy came to a full stop, I was back to admiring the way I fit against this particular biker. He turned off the ignition but kept the bike held upright and straight. I slid away from him. As slow as humanly possible. Drawing out the last few moments I had him like this.

Taking my time, I lifted my leg over to the right side before slipping down onto the pavement. I immediately regretted the entire afternoon. I threw my hands out behind me, stumbling backwards into him. One of his arms caught me. He held me still, waiting until I was steady enough on my own. My entire body was jello. I could still feel the vibration of the Harley in my legs. Happy smirked. My eyes narrowed at him. How had I not thought about the aftereffects? I gave myself a minute before trying to move again.

Once I was certain I wouldn't fall on my ass, I straightened out. His arm dropped from around me, back to resting on his leg. I reached up and unbuckled my helmet. With one hand, I dipped my fingers under the lip and pulled it off. I instantly shook my head to dislodge the phantom feeling. Running my fingers through my hair with one hand, I held out the helmet to him with my other. He grabbed it, tucking it away into one of the saddle bags. I watched him in silence as he redid the buckle of the pouch.

When he was finished he sat back up. His familiar air of confidence saturating the area. I tucked my fingers behind my ear, imagining the stray hair needing tending too. After spending an entire afternoon wrapped around him you'd think I wouldn't feel this bashful. I wished that I had something to say. Even something trivial. Anything I thought to bring up was either off limits. Or would result in a long, potentially explosive, argument.

I didn't want that. I wanted to end on a good note. One where we both stood on equal ground. Both confused about where we were headed but, still enjoying each other's presence. We idled in silence for another few minutes before he ultimately decided it was time to leave. He shifted forward getting ready to depart when I remembered I drove out to Charming this morning.

"Oh." I reached out to catch his attention, "Uhm – my car is still at TM."

He nodded, "It'll be here when you wake up, keys in your mailbox."

"Okay." I answered.

Another minute of calm passed through us before Happy settled back on his seat. One hand gripped a handle bar, while the other flicked ignition. The rumbling of the engine built between us. He tilted to his left, one foot in it's holster. I was hit with a whim. This was the perfect moment. I took a deep breath rounding up all my courage. Spontaneity at it's best.

Before backed away I took a tentative step towards him. Leaning in, I cupped his face in a tender motion. His entire being froze at my touch. I shuffled closer, stepping down off the curb. I pressed my lips to his cheek. It wasn't long, but it was significant. This was my olive branch. This was my show of budding affection.

"Thank you." I pulled back so that my lips were close to his ear, "For today."

I moved backwards allowing my hand to linger in place. I continued to back away until my hand fell away of its own accord. His gaze on me was intense as he mulled over my actions. He didn't voice anything, but before pushing off he granted me a curt nod. I stood in place, on the sidewalk. I watched as he coasted down the hill, eventually turning left and out of view.

My heart was pounding in my chest. He hadn't pushed me away. While he didn't reciprocate my sign of fondness, it was still another step in the way of development. I sighed, staring at the spot where his bike last sat before turning away. Where did this leave us? Would he pick up from where he left off last night? Was this just an anomaly in the short time knowing each other? Or was this going to shift everything drastically?

I turned back towards my building, dragging my feet as I went. In hind sight, I realized I hoped he would've grabbed my face and kissed me with a fiery passion. My imagination was once again getting the best of me. Regardless of that, I couldn't say I was disappointed. Not this time. Today was easily one of the best days of my life. A hardened man, known for his callous and cruel nature, had done something so tender – so passionate – that even the most die-hard romantic wouldn't have been able to top an act like his. I smiled, unlocking the door to my apartment, unable to feel anything but joy.