I don't own Twilight. I just use the characters to amuse people. I do own Patrick, though Alice might get him in the end.

CHAPTER 13-ALICE'S P.O.V.

"You're eyes are golden again," he comments after a short pause. I nod. "Vampires have naturally reddish colored eyes," I explain, "all vampire's eyes are that color when they're…created. They turn black when we're thirsty or our nature kicks in." "That's why your eyes change color?" Patrick asks. I nod. "My family has gold colored eyes because we feed on animal blood."

Patrick nods carefully. "You said 'created'…" he prompts. "You have to be bitten and survive the vampire attack to become a vampire," I explain, "if vampire venom is directly injected into your blood supply, it will change you." "Gotcha," he replies with another nod, "but it's not dangerous in any other form." "No," I say shyly, "I wouldn't have kissed you if it was." He smiles softly at this. I'm glad to be off the hook for that kiss last night.

"Each of my family members have different stories of how they became…what we are," I say, "and if you'll listen I would like to share mine." He stands and moves to the cooler, not seeming to be bothered by my presence. He pops the top on a drink and takes three long swallows. This done he walks back to the stump with his drink, sits down, and says, "Ok, now I'm ready."

"Before I begin my story," I begin, "I need to tell you something about the transformation from human to vampire. Once you make the transformation, your human memories begin to fade…usually only your strongest human memories survive." I look at him sadly. "I have absolutely no memories of my human life. My transformation is my first memory." Patrick is watching me closely, leaning his elbows on his knees, not commenting. "I woke up alone in the woods with a note pinned on my shirt that said, 'your name is Alice Brandon'. That's it. What I know of my past…pre-vampire…is through research." Patrick spits a long stream of tobacco juice and looks at me. His eyes are pure concentration.

"Go on," he says tenderly." I nod. "I was born Mary Alice Brandon in Biloxi, Mississippi in 1901." I wait, letting that sink in. "I have a power Pat…a subjective power…but a power nonetheless." He doesn't speak, content to let me tell my story in my own words. "I can see the future." He looks at me puzzled. "The future is subjective Pat," I explain, "I can only see it if someone stays on their chosen path. Like when you saved me; I saw it happen…but I saw me drinking your blood. I stopped breathing when you tackled me, so I didn't smell it and have it trigger my nature…therefore changing the vision of the future I saw." "I follow," he comments. I take a deep breath. "That was why I was frozen in the middle of the street…I was having that vision." He chuckles. "I wondered why you froze," he comments. "Still ok?" I ask. "Yeah," he replies softly, "please…go on."

I take another breath, calming myself. "My gravestone has my date of birth and the date I was committed to an asylum…I'm guessing because of my visions." "Makes sense," Patrick comments, "I mean…back then it wouldn't have been seen as a gift. I would've looked like mental illness. Be glad it wasn't a hundred years before that…you'd have probably been tried as a witch instead." I nod. "Someone in the asylum changed me to keep another vampire from killing me," I continue, "I never learned his name, but supposedly the person who was hunting me killed him in revenge." I swallow thickly. "All I had was my name and my visions…and my visions led me to Jasper."

I look at him. "I wandered alone for several years…because I didn't want to be a monster. Yes…I killed when my thirst drove me to it." Patrick doesn't look surprised or scared. That surprises me. "I wandered until I had another vision of the man I was to spend the rest of my existence. Those visions led me to a diner in Philadelphia one rainy day and I waited until Jasper walked in." I smile softly. "We fell in love instantly…both of us with past unusual even by vampires standards. Jasper and I were married…in the 1930's…and my visions led me to the Cullen's in 1950." Pat shifts uncomfortably, but doesn't comment. "I was very happy with Jasper…he had a gift too. He could sense you emotions and manipulate them if necessary. He could calm an angry mob or make an angry bear even angrier."

I smile. "He was the love of my life. When we were living in Forks, Washington in the first part of this century, Edward met Bella…a human. Through their many trials and tribulations, they survived and got married. On their honeymoon, Bella became pregnant. No one had ever dreamed it possible…Edward was the only one with the control to not only not drink from her, but to be careful enough while they made love not to kill her. That and we didn't think vampire men could actually impregnate someone. But it happened."

I pause here, checking to see if Patrick is going to bolt. He looks thoughtful, but not scared or angry. "This is where it's gets REALLY complicated," I warn, "because I'm going to have to mix vampire history with my families own." Patrick nods. "There are royalty in the vampire world…the Volturi…who handle the rules of our world." Rule number one is: Keep the Secret. I pause. "Centuries ago, someone broke this rule…by turning toddlers into vampires." Patrick's mouth turns into a grimace. "Obviously toddlers can't control their tempers or their bloodlust making them an exposure risk. Therefore they had to be destroyed. It started a war in our world, with many covens destroyed…along with these immortal children." I sigh, then give him a look. He's still paying ramp attention. "Bella had a child that was half human and half vampire." Patrick nods thoughtfully. I guess after everything else, it's hard to surprise him now.

"Renesmee wasn't like the immortal children," I explain, "she grew…physically and mentally. She learned. She was no danger of exposure. A vampire saw her in the woods…from a distance…and assumed she was one of these immortal children. She went to the Volturi…and the Volturi came for Renesmee…and us. Jasper and I fled, looking for a solution. It's a quirk of my visions…I couldn't see Renesmee because she was a half-breed…so I had to look for a blind spot. I found it in South America. We brought him back…Nahual…as a witness that Renesmee wasn't a danger. Nahual was one hundred and fifty years old…and no one knew he existed."

I pause again. "Patrick," I say in a soft voice, "if you want to stop…I'm ready." He folds his arms across his chest. "Why?" he ask softly. "This…is the hardest part of the story to tell," I explain. "If you want to…" he lets it hang. "I NEED you to hear this," I beg, beginning to sob, "I NEED you to understand." The boy surprises me again. Patrick jumps up and hurries to me, pulling me close to his chest. "It's ok Alice," he whispers, rubbing my back gently, "only if you want to." I continue to sob. After everything I've told him…and showed him…he still came to comfort me with no fear. "Let it out Alice," he whispers into my hair, his arms both strong and gentle, his warmth healing the hole left by my heart when it was torn out of my chest when Jasper died. I sob harder and he pulls me tighter, murmuring gently into the top of my head.

I finally ease back, taking his hand. "No tears," I say, wiping my dry eyes, "we can't produce them." He smiles slightly. "I'm ready when you are," he says in a gentle voice. I nod. "Sit back down," I say softly, "there's still a lot to go." He grins, the right corner of his mouth pulling up like Edward's, and does what I tell him. "We met in a clearing in the woods," I continue, "my family and other vampires we brought to witness that my niece wasn't what they assumed she was. The Volturi came in force. We proved she wasn't an immortal child…and we proved she wasn't a danger to our kind."

I let my chin drop to our chest. "Remember when I said my visions were subjective?" I ask. He nods. "One snap decision changed my existence. The Volturi wanted the ones of us with 'gifts' to join them…Edward, Bella, Jasper, and I from our family…and a handful of the others. Of course we refused." I swallow thickly. "They attacked…and I was the closest target. Jasper saved me from being killed…sacrificed himself so I would live." I hear Patrick mouth the word 'wow' but otherwise he remains silent. "Our cousins from Alaska," I continue, "the only other family of animal drinkers…only one survived. Emmett's wife…our sister Rosaline…killed. I can see this as clear as if it happened seconds ago…they had someone with a gift to track people…Demetri. Jasper knew that…Jasper ignored having his arm torn off and being set on fire to make sure Demetri didn't survive…so that I would live."

I look up at Patrick, his eyes sad. "I lost my only reason to live." "Our lives are like the night sky…millions of stars, but with no moon, it's still mostly black. Jasper was my moon…the one that lit my way." I hang my head. "That was twenty years go…and it has never gotten easier. The first week I never got off the floor of my room. After that, my family force-fed me blood. We moved soon after to Hoquiam…then to New Hampshire…then to some shit town in northern California…then to Canada…and finally here…Moscow." I meet his eyes with a steady gaze. "This is your last chance to back out Patrick," I say as evenly as I can manage, "because once I start talking again…this is the point of no return." Patrick, to his credit, doesn't speak. He's obviously mulling over what I'm saying in his head.

"So let me make sure I understand," Patrick begins, "you're a mythical being…a vampire…that doesn't drink human blood?" I nod. "You were born in 1901 in Biloxi Mississippi…locked in a nuthouse because you saw the future…were changed by an unknown vampire…and had a vision of finding your true love." I give him another nod. "You found him…married him…found the Cullen's…your sister-in-law had a baby that was half human/half vampire… and vampire royalty found out and tried to kill her." "You're with me so far," I tell him. "You proved she wasn't a danger…they attacked y'all anyway and your husband was killed?" he asks. Again I nod. "So you've been depressed for twenty years?" he blurts out, finishing. I nod once again.

"Alice," he says softly, "I don't think it can get any worse." I laugh dryly. "Yeah," I reply, "the worst is yet to come." He shakes his head. "Not possible," he replies. "Believe it," I reply. "Well," he says slowly, "today has not ended up like I thought it would." "What were you expecting?" I ask. He shrugs. "I had no expectations," he admits, "and if you don't believe that…ask Edward." I smile despite it all. "Eat your lunch," I say, pointing to the cooler.

"Not hungry," Patrick says. "Don't be stubborn Pat," I tell him, "Edward packed it…you should eat it." "Seriously," he replies, "I'm not hungry." He gets a serious expression on his face. "What you're going to tell me…is that bad?" he ask. I nod. "What I'm going to tell you," I reply slowly, "is going to be very difficult for me to tell you and for you to accept." He gives me a hard look. "Am I going to live?" he ask. I roll my eyes. "That's the third time you've asked me that," I snap, "I TOLD you I had no plans to kill you." He takes a deep breath. "I just want to be sure," he says sadly, "Tori needs me." That answer stops me cold.

He didn't say, "I'm afraid to die". He didn't say, "I don't want to die". He said, "Tori needs me". Facing the threat of death, he only thinks of his baby sister. Where do these type of beings come from and why aren't there more of them? I want to sob all over again. That answer tells me something about myself. No, I don't deserve him…but I WANT to deserve him. "Patrick, I want you to know what I tell you changes nothing," I say. "I brought you here with the understanding you were free to leave knowing exactly how much or how little you cared to." I look at him, making eye contact. "I swear to you, I have every intention of making sure you make it home to that sweet girl." He gives me a small smile. "Please eat you lunch?" I ask.

Mercifully, he gets up and gets the cooler. I'm glad…I need a few minutes to compose myself. He eats slowly and mechanically. I can tell he does not really taste it. I begin to pace, trying to calm down. Patrick has either picked up my mood or is lost in his own thoughts. Either way, he leaves me alone to think. He finishes before I'm ready though, even after taking the time to get another pinch of tobacco. "Finish it Alice," he says firmly, "I want to hear the rest." I sigh. "You're not allowed to interrupt until I'm finished," I say softly. "Deal," he says. He then spits and wipes his mouth with the back of his sleeve. "Finish it."

I sink onto the ground across from him, sure my legs won't be able to hold me up. "I told you I found my singer here," I begin. True to his word, he doesn't respond. "I also found a…connection…with someone I never thought I'd feel again. I tried to ignore it, thinking it was for the best. I couldn't…so I tried to embrace it." I can't even look at him. "The night of your first game, I went…to watch you. I admit that." I'll also admit I liked what I saw. I came home happy…feeling like maybe it was time for me to move on." I take a deep breath. "After the game…I was in the shower…and I thought about you…the kind of thoughts women have sometimes about men…and it saddened me." He looks a little shocked I'm telling him I was thinking about him in the shower. Oh, if this boy only knew.

"It saddened me because my beloved Jasper was dead and I was lusting after a pitiful human boy," I spit these last words out. "Again, I fell into hysterics…no one could calm me. I finally stopped the next morning and lay on the floor catatonic till Sunday night." I bite my bottom lip. "There is only one know way to kill my kind Pat," I say evenly, "you rip them to pieces so they can't get away and burn the pieces to ashes." I cock my head over my shoulder. "You see that tree?" I ask, looking up at him. He nods. "What does that look like to you?"

He gives it a hard look. "It look," he begins, "like the scene of someone being tied to that tree and burned at the stake." "Exactly," I reply, "that was to be my funeral pyre." I hang my head now. "No bullshit Pat…I had myself doused in gasoline and the wood burning when I was dragged off the fire. Once again, I was force fed and not allowed to be alone." I fight back the sobs. "For two weeks, I sat in an empty room, under constant watch…just staring at the wall. I finally came to the most logical conclusion…I was broken." I look up. Patrick is looking down now, his eyebrows furrowed in thought. "I ignored you," I went on, "I ignored this stupid, human boy because he wasn't worthy to take what Jasper had. He wasn't strong enough. I was broken…and I still am."

I take another deep breath. "So I ignored him." "I ignored my instinct to kill him and to be near him. I had hit rock bottom…it wasn't like I could go any further. All that changed in one instance. One vision…at the wrong time…and that stupid human boy interfered in my existence. He didn't save my life…but he did save me AND my family from being exposed for what we are. He suspected what we were…or at least we weren't human. But he kept our secret. This boy…by being so selfless he nearly killed himself to save me did something I didn't think was possible. He awoken my dead heart."

"Look at me Patrick," I say softly. He obeys. "I love you," I admit, "I've loved you since the moment I saw you in Spanish. Yes, my nature as a vampire thirsts for you blood. But the part of me that is a woman thirsts for much more. I am a monster…and I admit that." His gaze never leaves mine." "But regardless of that…I love you. I have entrusted you with my deepest secret. A secret that could destroy me, my family, and my kind. I've made a mess of my existence. I've made a mess of my family. I've done everything wrong…and I am sorry for that…but I want to do something right. And I think there is nothing more right than the truth. And the truth is…I love you." I break his gaze to stare a hole in the ground in front of me. "That's all Patrick," I say softly, "that is the end of my story."

Nothing but silence fills the clearing. Patrick is literally frozen in his seat. "Please say something," I whisper. "Holy shit," he replies, obviously the first thing on his mind. I smirk. "Please say something else?" I ask. "Like what?" he replies. I shrug. "You must be thinking something," I prod. "Yeah," he admits, "I'm thinking a hell of a lot." "I'll listen," I offer, "you can rant…rave…fuss…cuss…bitch…raise hell…I don't care. You did a noble thing listening to this…and I would be more than happy to repay that debt." He exhales a long breath. "This is insane," he says, "I mean REALLY insane." "There's no strings attached," I reply, "except one: you can't tell anyone. I don't expect you to stay with me."

"Then why did you tell me?" he ask, leaping to his feet, "why even bother?" "I WANT you to stay with me," I whisper, "but I couldn't unless I was completely honest with you." You had to know I was a vampire…a widow…broken…and in love with you. I wanted you to know so YOU could decide." "And if I say no, I just walk away?" he ask. I bite my bottom lip. "Yes," I say simply.

I mean it. If he tells me no, he will walk away from here. What I will do, I have no idea…but Patrick will leave this clearing alive. That's why I had to spit all of this out at once. I didn't want our feelings to grow and then he find out what I am. The split now would be so painful I may never get off the floor of my room again. If I fell anymore in love with him, I might actually die from the grief instead of having to kill myself. "You say no," I repeat, "you walk away."