Disclaimer: I do not own Narnia or the Pevensies, or the White Witch and any other Narnian characters; they are owned by C.S. Lewis.
Seeing things that aren't real was not the best way to pass one's days. Edmund knew, at a certain point, that what he was seeing (or hearing) wasn't real, but that still didn't make it any less shocking when he rounded a corner to find Peter bleeding to death or Lucy and Susan being attacked by a Wolf, or Peter in a life-or-death struggle with the Witch herself. It always disturbed him deeply and although he knew it was only an illusion, he couldn't help thinking that perhaps this time would be the first time it was real. That was a terrible thought.
It was emotionally draining and made Edmund very jumpy. His nightmares continued and occasionally he'd still feel pain. As a result, he was physically worn out as well. He learned to control his reactions somewhat so that others around him, especially Christopher who watched him very closely for a good while, would not question.
In this fashion the rest of the school year passed and Edmund currently found himself waiting at the mid-station for Lucy and Susan's train to arrive. He wasn't sure how he felt about this. He hadn't written them detailed letters, but he had written. The same had been done with Peter as well. Before he had enough time to check his emotions the train pulled in and Edmund stood to try and spot his sisters.
Suddenly something rammed into his middle, knocking him back onto the bench. He caught a brief glimpse of Susan before Lucy moved in front of her, hands on her hips and a furious expression on her face. "I can't believe you!" she cried angrily. "Edmund Pevensie, you liar! We were concerned and did it ever occur to you that we might like to know what was going on? No! You just brushed it aside as if…as if it were nothing! And we all know that's not the case. It is…"
"Lucy?" Susan muttered nervously, glancing around the station. "You are making a scene."
"I will make as much of a scene as I want," Lucy snapped. Edmund rarely ever saw her as angry as she was now.
"I wrote you," he tried lamely, knowing as well as she did that his letters were rubbish.
"You collapsed during class!" Lucy snapped. "Yet you gave us no details and resisted treatment-"
"That was so long ago!" Edmund protested. "There was nothing to treat, anyway."
"You have been dodging our more direct questions in favor of utter rot-"
"I'm sure there's a good reason he didn't tell you anything," Susan interjected quickly. "Please, Lucy, can we discuss this later?"
"You look dreadful, to top it all off," Lucy continued across her. "When did you last sleep, or eat for that matter? You look like you've been to war and back! And you can't tell me it's nothing like you have been doing. You know what He said."
"Who is He?" Susan asked sharply.
Lucy rounded on her and glared at her just as their second train pulled up. "And you. You should know." With that, she led them onto the train.
Mrs. Pevensie greeted them at the station, and she shared at least part of Lucy's statement. "Edmund, are you alright?" she asked him upon getting a good look at him. "You look unwell."
"He's alright," Lucy said bitterly. "He's always alright." When she offered no reason for this Mrs. Pevensie decided to leave everything alone—some things were better left unasked—and drove them all home. Edmund dreaded it. He would have to see Peter. But as it turned out Peter did not press him for details. He seemed disappointed, which was worse than Lucy's outright anger.
Days passed in which the siblings did not really talk to each other. Their parents, naturally had jobs (well, their Father had a job; Mrs. Pevensie ran errands of various sorts throughout the day). Susan went out with friends. Peter had gotten himself a job at the local library and wasn't around much during the day. Lucy avoided Edmund, which was a first. It wouldn't have mattered if she didn't. He avoided her as well.
On one such day Edmund was sitting alone in his room. Lucy had accompanied Peter to work and the only other person in the house was Susan. He was trying to read a book but kept glancing over to Peter's bed. The fact that they were on less-than-friendly terms bothered him and the fact that it was his own fault bothered him even more. Finally he tossed the book aside.
Is the special boy upset? Edmund started slightly at the voice of the Witch, although he was rather used to it now. "Oh, bother," he muttered angrily. "Not now."
What is it that bothers you? The Witch seemed to be trying to provoke him. "You!" Edmund snapped. "Now leave me alone. This is your fault."
No, the Witch responded, it is yours. Edmund sighed. This was true. Of course, you can mend this whole thing quickly…painlessly, if you like. If you co-operate. Icy fear crept up on Edmund and made his breath catch in his throat. He didn't like the sound of what was being suggested at all. He didn't know what it was, but he also didn't want to know.
The Witch's voice was so clear, now that he noticed it. This shouldn't have been the case. And the way it affected him…it scared Edmund. "I need to do something," he muttered. "Obviously this thing is going to be a lot harder to ignore than I thought…" Actually, although he hated to admit it, he had not been doing a good job of ignoring the effects of the curse. Some of them just couldn't be ignored, no matter how hard one tried.
Edmund rose from the bed and before he knew what he was doing he found himself in front of Susan's bedroom door. He sighed, "Oh, what am I doing?" and raised his hand. Perhaps Susan could help. She had been the Gentle, and was the most logical of all of them. She would keep a cool head once she got past the anger. And, Edmund sort of wanted to drag the Narnian Queen out of his sister. He knocked.
Susan opened the door and said, in a surprised voice, "Edmund?"
"I…er…need to talk with you," Edmund said quietly. "It's about…what Peter and Lucy aren't talking to me about."
"Come in," Susan said slowly. She opened the door wider and allowed him to pass. They sat on Lucy's bed. "Did you do something?"
"I hope not," Edmund answered. "I just can't talk to them about it because they'll both not take the time to think it out. They'll act rashly and you've always been the logical one. The only problem is…" And here he noticed why they were sitting on Lucy's bed—Susan's was piled with boxes. "I say, Susan! What are those doing there?"
Susan started and then glanced behind her. "Oh, the boxes?" Edmund nodded and Susan gave a funny little laugh. "Interesting you should ask, and I'll tell you. But do get on with your story because mine also has a bit of explaining."
"Alright," Edmund hesitated. "I…haven't been well. I'm not sick!" This was added hastily as Susan looked alarmed. "I just…suppose it has to do with something that happened a long time ago and is just coming to light now. You see-"
"What is going on?" Lucy's voice interrupted him and both older siblings looked at her (Edmund had to turn around). She was frowning, her eyes going from Edmund to Susan's bed. "Why are you meeting in here and what are those boxes?"
"You're home early!" Susan said nervously. Edmund's heart sank. They had been interrupted and now he wouldn't get to talk to Susan unless he caught her alone later. He vowed to do so. This was something he felt he needed to do.
"What is going on?" Lucy repeated. Peter came up behind her and Edmund inwardly groaned.
"What's all this about?" he asked, also looking at the boxes.
Susan sighed and blushed. "I'm moving," she said finally.
"WHAT?" all three of her siblings shouted in response, Edmund rounding on his sister.
"I've finished school and, well, I'm not going to University. Mum and Dad said I could move if I got a nice job," Susan explained, "and I have, in London at a nice department store. I'm moving to a flat nearby."
"Susan!" Lucy cried in dismay. "Surely you can't work in a department store for the rest of your life. You must go to University!"
"I have to agree with Lu," Peter said quietly. "It is an extraordinary waste of your talents."
"You are a great diplomat, after all," Edmund added without thinking. "Surely there's a class for that."
Susan's face hardened. "That is no use here," she said shortly. "I won't be working at the same place forever, at any rate. I do like fashion, though. It seems to be a good job. It pays enough. Why can't you all be happy?"
"We don't want you gone!" Lucy said with tears in her eyes.
"Peter already left," Susan said. "It's a part of life, you must know that. You knew this day would come."
"But Peter hasn't moved out yet," Edmund pointed out.
"Perhaps it is something he should consider," Susan said with a pointed look at Peter. "He is, after all, considered an adult."
"Or perhaps you should consider staying," Edmund suggested. The words came out harsher than he'd meant, but he really was angry at Susan. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that he needed her just now, but it also had to do with the fact that she was almost…running from them, from her past. Guiltily, Edmund realized he was doing the same thing with Peter and Lucy—avoiding them. But Susan, always logical Susan, should have known that she was still needed.
Almost as though reading his mind, Susan snapped, "Perhaps you should stop avoiding everyone."
Edmund opened his mouth and could think of no reply. Instead he muttered, "At least I'm not moving."
Lucy added, "You've both been strangers, really. All I want, and I'm sure Peter wants it too, is for us to be close again. Remember those good days when we all used to? Especially in Narnia?" She looked defiant at the mention of their old home because she knew, as they all did, that Susan was avoiding Narnia.
"Narnia was when we were children," Susan said sharply, "and now we should have grown up. Stop going back to that-that game."
"Game?" Lucy repeated. "You're leaving as if everything is alright and it isn't! You think we're silly because Narnia is a game. Susan!" With that she fled from the room.
"I think," Peter said slowly, "that is enough growing up for one day. Do what you like, Susan, but know that we won't be happy with this until you fix things." Here, Peter also shot a significant look at Edmund as though to say that he too should take this advice.
Edmund looked at his sister and saw she was nearly crying. He could, to a certain extent, understand her. He sighed and wasn't sure what to do. He moved to hug her but she moved away, wiping a stray tear, and he saw part of himself in her movements. "Just…go with the others," she murmured, the words sounding so familiar he wanted to scream.
Instead he said, "I'm sorry, Su." Then he exited the room and felt the full force of what had just happened come upon him. His plan was ruined. Edmund could no longer count on his logical sister to help with his current problem, or any, really. She was leaving. But worse was that Susan had let go of the Gentle Queen within her and of Narnia. She wanted nothing to do with it.
"Back to square one," he hissed angrily, kicking the wall. A high, cold, cruel chuckle sounded and Edmund knew the Witch was immensely satisfied with the current situation. It made him feel only more frustrated.