Series 8 One-shots: All That Remains

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the ideas.

Another serious one and for any of you that don't know me I really struggle to write JJ but didn't feel I could ignore her or this comment after this episode.

Thanks to Jakkah for finding me a clip with the necklace in for added inspiration.

. . .

Prompt

JJ: If losing her mother didn't change everything I know losing her sister certainly will.

Blake: I didn't know. How were you when your sister died?

JJ: 11, she was 17

. . .

As the team returned to the bull pen JJ remained quiet. Not enough to drew attention to herself but reserved none the less. None of the team was surprised by her subdued nature. She had after all got up close and personal with a very convincing UnSub. One that was willing to kill JJ to save her innocent persona.

Breaking away from the team, who had been joined by Garcia, she headed over to her desk. Dumping her bags down by the divider she slouched down in the chair. Glancing up at the group she had left it was obvious they were already dispersing; Hotch had cleared it for them all to leave work early. A few nods in the direction of those that were leaving bypassed any need to speak. Her mind was focused on only one thing and she needed to clear her thoughts before returning home.

She opened her top desk drawer slowly, so as not to disrupt the contents. Immediately she could see what she had gone looking for. Just where she had become accustom to keeping it - having nearby at work had help to motivate, comfort and enlighten her. No matter how small it was her rock through the hard times, a constant reminder of why she was here doing what she did.

Leaning forward she tucked her chair under her desk as her elbows rested on the slightly cluttered surface. Tentatively she looked inside; the spring of the aged red box initially resisted her action until it finally submitted to the pressure.

JJ stared at the overly familiar item inside. Her finger automatically reached out and traced over the outline of the gold chain only resting once she reached the three small charms hanging from the centre. The necklace Katherine Jareau had given to eleven year old JJ.

JJ had remembered coveting her sister's necklace for so long, yet she had never wanted in the circumstances in which it was gifted. A lasting reminder of the last time JJ saw her sister alive.

Of the three charms linked together on the necklace the small cross represented faith. A faith she had once lost completely and was now something she had questioned over her years with the BAU. She had seen first-hand how belief had held families together yet ripped others apart. She had seen it fortify the strong and be used to make the weak conform. Faith had been blamed and named as the cause. Yet it had been the saviour too. Her colleague ranged from those with no belief to those with concrete faith.

Yet since that day, when her sister claimed her own life JJ had found little comfort in faith. Unlike her mother who had thrown herself into the daily running of the local church, as if somehow her hard work could compensate for Katherine's sin.

However JJ continued to question her own faith daily, until she realised the only faith she had left was in her team and their ability to help.

Behind the cross rested a small anchor which symbolised hope. Hope being the one thing she had frequently encouraged families to hold on to no matter what. Spending her time supporting them as she waited to hear if her colleagues had been successful or not. JJ had now progressed to being a profiler and one of the team out there hoping to reach the victim in time to save them.

The families having the hope that their love one would return and with it the hope that they would be unharmed. The hope that they would be able to have a normal life regardless of whatever they may have experienced.

However JJ found it was increasingly hard to have hope when experience taught you to expect the worse. How rare it was to save the victim that they sought. And for those they did save how often they had suffered at the hands of another. Then how were they to carry on, to live a normal life once they have survived the stuff of nightmares.

Of course when you are eleven you life is full of hope. Hope that you can make the team and win the match. Hope that you will be allowed cookies after school. Hope that one day you will have a necklace just like the one that your big sister has.

JJ couldn't help but wonder when she had become so jaded. She definitely never remembered losing her hope.

Finally a small golden heart lay with the other charms in her palm. Charity or love, two sides of the same coins.

Probably the one true virtue JJ had in spades. The one part of her that hadn't been tarnished by her past experiences; if anything it had been enhanced.

Helping others to live through their loss had become a part of her. Being an ear to listen in troubled times. Reserving her own judgments and opinions because that is not what is needed when you have just lost someone that you love.

Losing Katherine had change JJ in so many ways. It had taken away what remained of her childhood. All faith that she had had that life was full of happiness shattered. Her hope for a future where she would grow up with a sister who was also her best friend suddenly gone.

However her natural ability to calm and comfort others in their time of need remained. Her charitable gift to those in need shared through the career she loved.

If only it had been a gift she could have shared with her sister before it was too late.

JJ carefully closed the box and placed it back in her drawer. She didn't move straight away.

. . .

Hotch watched silently from his office window. He had become better at not being the last one to leave any longer. He had learnt the lesson of putting work before his family the hard way. However if he was concerned for one of his team he made sure he stayed until he knew they were ok. If they left before he had chance to speak to them then he would check up on them before he relaxed at home. Just like he had learnt to mourn the loss of his family he had also lost colleagues to the pressures this job created and as Unit Chief he felt responsible for his team's wellbeing.

He watched as JJ placed the small red box back in her drawer. He knew what it contained and it gave him a clue as to where her head was right now. Collecting up his things he made his way down to JJ.

"Are you ok?"

Hotch's voice broke through her thoughts. Turning to face her superior she smiled.

"I am now."

"It is amazing how some days it all just catches up on you."

JJ nodded. Time could heal, but it couldn't remove the scar. That was there for life. No matter how it faded there was a permanent mark on your soul.

"Just needed a moment before I went home."

Hotch nodded understanding fully how she felt. Without another word JJ collected up her things and together they left. Returning home to the families that gave them the strength they needed to do this job.

. . .

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13