Secret Memo Number Fourteen – Punk Envy
Memo to self: I have concluded that I have begun to dream regularly of the Kurosaki boy because I secretly envy him. It is therefore imperative that I examine what he has, or has done, that I want for myself. This is the list I have drawn up thus far:
One: He has slept in the same bedroom as Rukia. It is one of my life's ambitions.
Two: He has sat side-by-side with Renji after they have beaten the stuffing out of each other, and talked of deeply personal things. That is another of my life's ambitions.
Three: I hear that he has had Renji sit on his bed while the redheaded idiot was in the human world on one of his more recent missions. I can only have wet dreams about such a thing happening.
Four: He has beaten the crap out of that ugly devil, Zaraki Kenpachi.
Five: He has taken a bath with Yoruichi. Stark naked. In a hot spring. With Yoruichi.
Six: He has picked Rukia up by the obi and hurled her down ten storeys into Renji's arms... no, that's not right... that cannot possibly be among my life's ambitions.
Seven: He has beaten the crap out of that ugly devil, Zaraki Kenpachi. Yes, have said it before.
Eight: He has wash-and-go hair.
Nine: He can break every inane rule in the Soul Society and still be hailed as a hero. I find that bitterly unfair.
Ten: He has beaten the crap out of Zaraki Kenpachi. It really bears repeating.