Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail, all I own are my OCs
The first thing that Raven noticed when she gained consciousness was that a harsh wind was blowing on her face and was causing her hair to whip around her wildly, and it reminded her of why she almost always had it tied back.
The next thing that caught her attention was the noise. It sounded like the earth itself was shaking violently, and it took her a few seconds to realize that it was Nirvana collapsing in on itself which meant that, by some miracle, everyone had managed to destroy all six lacramas at the same time.
It took her another few seconds to remember that right before she had lost consciousness, the ground beneath her had given out, sending her plummeting to her untimely death.
Her eyes snapped open, and a loud shriek escaped her mouth at the sight of the rocky earth several hundred feet beneath her. Her heart raced like a hummingbird's wings, and her breath was coming out in short gasps. She had the distant thought to call out for help, but it felt like her throat had closed up, allowing nothing but her shallow breaths to pass through. Fear gripped her heart like a vice, making it impossible to think clearly.
"Deep breaths," came a calm, familiar voice. "Take deep breaths and take a minute to get your bearings."
She listened to the voice and breathed in deeply through her nose before letting the air out shakily. As she did it again, she looked down below and noticed that in her panic, she had failed to realize that the ground was no closer than it was before.
She wasn't falling; she was flying.
Her face slowly heated up as she realized just how much she had overreacted.
She glanced up at Blayze, who had been silent while she calmed herself down, and found him staring down her with a bemused expression, as if he didn't know whether to laugh at her or be worried for her.
She spoke before he could make a decision. "So... you saw me falling from Nirvana, huh?"
The amusement faded from his eyes as he nodded. "I was already making my to you when Nirvana shut down, and I saw you falling, obviously unconscious," he explained. "What happened with you anyway? Before Hibiki's connection cut out, I didn't hear you say anything about which lacrama you would be at."
The memory of what happened right before Nirvana collapsed came back to her suddenly, and her breath caught in her throat as panic rose up in her.
"Wait, where's Erza? Did you see what happened to her? Is she okay?"
Blayze nodded quickly. "Yeah, yeah, she's safe. I saw her and Gray run out before Nirvana collapsed. We should reach them pretty soon."
"Thank God," she breathed, "I hope everyone else made it out in time."
"I'm sure they did," he said.
"To answer your question," she started hesitantly, "After I- Lilith... after Lilith left you, Natsu, and Lucy, she got caught on one of Nirvana's legs when it came out of the ground. She wanted to find Nirvana's source of power, so she could take it for herself. That's what she was on her way to do when she came across Erza, Wendy, Carla... and Jellal." She paused, forcing down the anger that arose in her at the thought of Jellal and shook her head before continuing. "However, when she came face to face with Jellal... all I could feel was rage. Seeing him, standing next to Erza so casually, as if he had never done anything wrong, as if he hadn't tried to kill her... I think Lilith was caught off guard by me reacting so strongly to him, so I took advantage of her surprise, again, and shoved her behind the barrier before attacking Jellal. But, all I got in was one punch before Erza got ahold of me and explained that he was on our side now. Then, in all the chaos after that, I could feel Lilith fighting back. I knew that I couldn't hold her off for long, so I had Erza knock me out."
Blayze blinked down at her. "You what?"
She sighed. "It was the only way I could think of keeping Lilith from taking control. As long as I'm unconscious, so is she. I was hoping that by the time I woke up, Nirvana would be destroyed, but there was still a couple of minutes left on the timer. Lilith knew it to and took control. She went to find Erza and stop her from destroying the lacrama. When Lilith found her, she... she used her magic."
Blayze looked at her sharply. "Which one?"
Raven grimaced. "Hellfire."
He let out a long breath, knowing exactly what kind of damage that fire could do. "Damn... is Erza okay?"
"Yeah... she's all good," she murmured. "None of the attacks hit her, at least not directly. But now..."
"Now Erza will want to know how you used fire magic," he finished.
"Exactly," she said quietly, already dreading that inevitable conversation.
"You have to tell her the truth."
She shook her head as he spoke. "No, I can't-"
"Yes, you can," he said firmly, cutting her off. "She'll understand, and she'll help you in anyway that she can. Lying to her about it will only make it worse when the truth eventually comes out... which it will," he paused before adding quietly, "We got lucky today. Nirvana's power provided an excuse for what happened with Natsu and Lucy, but at some point... the guild is going to find out."
"I know," she whispered.
He sighed quietly. "I'm not saying that you should tell everyone at once. I'm just saying... you should at least tell Erza."
As much as she hated to admit it, and as much as it terrified her, she knew that Blayze was right, so she pressed her lips together and nodded shortly.
Within a few minutes, Gray and Erza came in to view, and they landed lightly in front of them. Blayze let his wings disappear and rested on Raven's shoulder, wrapping his tail loosely around her neck when his legs wobbled. Before she could say anything, Erza crushed Raven to her chest in a hard hug.
"Thank God you're alright," Erza murmured. "I saw you fall, but I couldn't see where you ended up, or if you were okay."
Raven slowly wrapped her arms around Erza and closed her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Erza, I never meant to hurt you... I'm sorry."
Erza smiled softly. "You have nothing to apologize for, Raven. I know that you weren't yourself, that Nirvana had control of you. I would never hold that against you."
Raven let out a deep breath and pulled back. "Thank you, Erza, truly."
The redhead nodded, letting her arms fall from Raven's shoulders. Before stepping away, she lowered her voice, so that Gray couldn't hear.
"But, you have some explaining to do concerning that magic of yours," she said seriously.
"I know," Raven said quietly. "I'll explain everything to you when this is all over. I promise."
"Um, you guys?" Gray called out, stepping forward. "I hate to ruin the moment, but who is that?!"
Raven, Erza, and Blayze looked to where he was pointing, and Raven let out a startled yelp and stumbled backwards, pulling Erza with her.
"There you are! I'm so glad that you made it out okay, my scarlet haired beauty!" said the giant, grotesque thing running toward them.
The four of them screamed, and Erza summoned a spear and pointed it threateningly at the monster.
"Who are you?!"
"You heard her! Answer the lady or else!" Gray shouted, ready to summon his ice magic at any moment.
Raven shifted so that Blayze was out of harm's way and held out her hand, letting shadows engulf her fist.
"You don't want to mess with us right now," she warned.
The monster waved its hands around frantically.
"No, no, wait! Can't you see that I am your ally? My power parfum has temporarily altered my outward appearance, but deep down, I haven't changed. I am your beloved Ichiya, and you are my honey!" he said, pointing at Erza.
Raven let her magic disappear as her eyes slid to the embarrassed form of Erza.
Ichiya struck a pose, making them all sweatdrop.
"Look at me sparkle!"
"Looks like your little admirer has gone full on stalker," Gray said.
"No joke," Erza muttered. "I'd kick him out of the alliance, but he's so dependable."
"I didn't think it was possible for him to become even more disturbing than he already is, but this is just a whole new level of creepy," Raven said.
Something crashed to the ground in front of them, and Raven tore her eyes away from Ichiya, only to find a giant grandfather clock sitting in front of them.
"'So dizzy,' she says in a wobbly tone."
"Am I going crazy, or did that clock just talk?" she asked Blayze.
"Not crazy," he said, blinking several times. "I heard it to."
"An enemy!" Ichiya shouted, getting in a defensive stance.
"No," Erza cut in. "Stand down."
"Yeah, it's just one of Lucy's spirits," Gray explained.
Raven stiffened at the Celestial Wizard's name. Last she had seen her, Lucy had been lying on the ground with broken ribs, thanks to Lilith. Guilt hit her like a tidal wave, and she stared at the ground as Lucy and Happy stepped out of the spirit's enclosure.
How could she ever expect Lucy to forgive her?
With Erza, it was different. Erza was her closest friend and would never pass judgement on her. She alway took everything Raven said or did in stride and was always quick to forgive.
But Lucy... Lucy was her guildmate, yes, but they hardly even knew each other. Raven's impression of the blonde was that of a cheerful, kindhearted, and loyal person, while Lucy's impression of Raven was that of a person who was easily swayed to the 'dark side' and viciously attacked her fellow guildmates, the very people she should be protecting.
Guilt mixed with self-loathing, and her jaw clenched as bile rose in her throat.
Blayze squeezed her shoulder reassuringly, and she glanced back up in time to see Jura, Wendy, and Carla running toward them.
"Thank goodness, everyone's alright," Jura said.
"Even that silly blue tomcat," Carla said in surprise.
Wendy grinned, "Natsu and Jellal, are they here?"
Raven blinked at Natsu's name and scanned the area around them, just now noticing that he was nowhere in sight.
"Are they still inside?" Ichiya asked.
"Oh no," Lucy said, clasping her hands together, "Now, I'm worried."
Gray shrugged, looking unconcerned. "He's probably lost in the forest, knowing that flame for brains."
"Hey! Natsu!" Wendy shouted worriedly.
Raven's brow creased as worry gnawed at her.
Natsu... last I saw him, Lilith had beaten him into a bloody mess...
She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the memory that sent nausea sweeping through her. Suddenly, the ground rolled under them, and she stumbled backwards, Blayze tightening his grip on her shoulder.
She turned around, and her mouth dropped at the sight before her.
The Oracion Seis member, Hoteye, was standing in front of them with Natsu and Jellal in his arms.
"Love drives us to save our friends!" Hoteye exclaimed, "Oh yeah!"
Wendy ran to Natsu, tears streaming down her face, and threw herself into his arms.
"Natsu! You're okay!"
Raven watched in slight confusion as Natsu chuckled and stepped back.
"If it weren't for you," Wendy said, "Cait Shelter would've been wiped out."
"Well," Natsu said, turning to face the rest of them, "There's no way I could've done it on my own. Thanks, you guys."
"You saved my guild," Wendy murmured, bowing her head in gratitude.
As Natsu's eyes scanned over the group, Raven slipped behind Erza and Gray. She felt Blayze's eyes on her, but she ignored him, choosing to stare at the ground with her arms crossed tightly against her chest.
How could she even begin to ask for his forgiveness?
In her heart, she knew that Natsu had already forgiven her, and that he would never hold this against her. He would be utterly forgiving and would brush it off as if it were nothing.
And she hated that.
She hated that he was so quick to forgive and forget, when what she did was unforgiveable. She deserved his hate and mistrust, not his compassion and forgiveness.
That's not who Natsu is, her mind whispered.
No, she thought, letting her eyes drift over to Natsu, who was lying on the ground in exhaustion. No, it's not.``
"I'm glad everyone made it out okay," Happy said, breaking her out of her thoughts.
Jura nodded. "It was close, but excellent work by those involved."
Ichiya struck a sudden pose. "I think it's time for a group hug! Who's with me?"
Lucy sweatdropped. "In your dreams, creep."
"Speaking of creeps," Gray said turning around, "Who is that guy?"
"Someone from Blue Pegasus?" Lucy wondered.
Raven turned to where they were looking and froze. She had been so caught up in her own head that she had forgotten all about Jellal.
Erza stepped next to Raven and said quietly, "It's Jellal."
"Are you kidding me?!"
"Oh no! Not him again!"
"He's changed," Erza said, ignoring Gray and Lucy's panic. "He's not the same man we dealt with before."
"He's completely lost his memory," Wendy explained.
As Gray and Lucy voiced their doubts, Raven watched warily as Erza made her way over to Jellal's silent form.
"Do you truly think that he's changed?" Blayze asked quietly.
"I don't know," she murmured, not taking her eyes off of Erza. "We weren't here when everything at the Tower went down, so I can't say for sure... but just because he lost his memories... it doesn't excuse his past actions. One way or another, there needs to be consequences for what he's done, no matter if he was being controlled or not."
Blayze looked at her then, and he knew that she wasn't just talking about Jellal.
"Raven-"
"My handsome face!"
Raven peeled her eyes away from Erza and Jellal and looked at Ichiya.
"There a problem, meathead?" Gray asked.
"I wanted to go make a letter of the alphabet, but I ran into an invisible wall!"
"Look!" Wendy said, crouching down, "There's weird writing on the ground."
Raven's brow creased, and she held a hand out tentatively before it hit a barrier, purple lettering appearing in her front of her.
"What the hell?" she muttered.
"No way," Gray said.
"An enchantment?!" they all shouted.
"How did we not notice someone casting the spell?" Happy cried as they all went into defensive positions.
"If I had to guess, I would say this is Freed's work," Gray said.
"No," Raven said, backing toward them, "This magic is more powerful than Freed's."
Lucy cast Raven a surprised glance, as if just now noticing the dragon slayer. "Then, how are we gonna get out?"
"Okay, who did this?! Show yourself!" Natsu shouted, coming to a stop beside Raven, who tensed at the close proximity.
Now is not the time to worry about your own problems! she scolded herself.
Footsteps sounded all around them, and Raven watched in shock as people in uniform surrounded the outside of the barrier.
"Who- who are these people?" Wendy asked nervously.
"There's no need to panic," someone said, walking forward. "We mean you no harm. Sorry about this, but we were forced to do something to restrain you."
Restrain us?
"Who the heck are you?" Happy shouted.
"I am the captain of the new Magic Council's Custody Enforcement Unit, Lahar, and this is my army."
"What?"
"There's a new Magic Council?"
"Sure didn't take them very long."
Lahar took another step forward. "It is my duty to uphold the law and preserve justice throughout the land, so all evil-doers must be arrested."
"We're not evil-doers," Carla said, obviously offended.
"Why are we in trouble when we didn't do anything wrong?" Happy asked.
"At least... not that we know of," Natsu added, shaking in his boots.
He's not here for us, she thought grimly.
Lahar echoed her thoughts. "I'm not here to arrest you. I have been ordered to take the Oracion Seis into custody. I ask that you please cooperate and hand over the man code-named 'Hoteye'."
"No, never!" Jura stated, stepping forward.
"It's alright. I'll surrender," Hoteye said calmly.
"But, why?"
Hoteye bowed his head. "I can not fully embrace the life of virtue when my past transgressions continue to haunt me. This is my chance to atone for my sins. It's best that I have a clean slate when I find my brother. That way, I will have nothing to hide. Don't you agree?"
A chill crept down Raven's spine at his words, and Blayze glanced at her questioningly when he felt her tense. But memories were creeping to the surface, and all she could do was watch numbly as Hoteye was put into chains and taken into custody.
She saw Lahar's mouth moving but didn't hear a word. Her ears were filled with an unearthly silence that she knew all too well.
Her shrill scream pierced the air, sending birds flying from trees, and nearby deer scattering into the forest.
"What have you done?!"
The words tore from her throat, ragged with agony, and small hands lifted into the air, trying to calm her.
"Just let us explain-"
Pain laced her shoulder, and she jerked her head to the side to find Blayze's claws digging into her shoulder as he stared at her worriedly.
With her attention now on him, he retracted his claws quickly, and she saw the question in his eyes.
She swallowed and nodded shortly, silently assuring him that she was fine now. He exhaled quietly and looked away.
She took a deep breath to steady her frayed nerves and forced herself to focus on what was happening in the present.
"... Not until we've captured our true objective."
Everyone stared at Lahar in confusion, including Raven, who had no idea what was going on.
"A fiend who infiltrated and destroyed the Magic Council and fired the Etherion canon. A man more villainous than the Oracion Seis, truly black of heart... I'm referring to you, Jellal," Lahar said before gesturing behind him. "Let's go. Know that if you resist, we have explicit orders to kill you."
"Leave him alone," Wendy cried.
"You're making a mistake, man," Natsu said seriously.
"Jellal is a criminal," Lahar said, "Society is in danger as long as he is free. He must be brought to justice."
A couple of knights put Jellal in chains as Lahar said, "Jellal Fernandes, you are hereby under arrest for crimes against the kingdom."
Raven heard Erza inhale sharply and turned to see her standing still with wide eyes.
"No, please don't take him away!" Wendy shouted, "It's not fair; he doesn't even remember what he's done! All of his memories have been completely erased."
Lahar looked down at her.
"Ignorance of one's crimes is no defense." He looked to one of the knights. "You may remove the barrier now."
"Hold on-"
"It's alright," Jellal interrupted, "I will not resist arrest. Please, forgive me. I wish that I could remember you. I'm sorry that I cannot, truly."
How the hell does Wendy know Jellal? she wondered.
Carla stepped forward. "When she was lost and alone, you found her and saved her life."
"Did I?" Jellal asked. "I may never know the harm I inflicted upon you and countless others... but at least I know, at some point, I helped one person." He paused, then called out, "Erza... I won't forget your kindness."
With that, Lahar and his army turned and started to walk away with Jellal in custody, and Raven looked at Erza once again, taking in her curled fists and shaking form.
"You'll get a life sentence, that's if you're lucky," she heard Lahar say to Jellal, "In any case, you'll never see these people again."
"He's gone," Wendy said, tears streaming down her face.
It all happened fast.
Erza leapt forward, in some desperate attempt to save Jellal, but Raven darted toward her and wrapped an arm around the redhead's waist, jerking her back.
In the same instant, Natsu ran at the knights and shouted, "Hold it right there!"
Erza tensed in her arms, and Raven's eyes widened in panic.
"Natsu!" Gray shouted.
"I don't think that's a good idea," Lucy exclaimed as Natsu became surrounded by knights.
Lahar whirled around. "Stop this!"
"Get out of my way!" Natsu shouted angrily, "He's one of us, and that means he comes with us!"
Raven's arms went slack around Erza as shock coursed through her.
How... how can he forgive Jellal... so easily?
Her wide eyes shifted to Erza, who was standing as still as a statue, staring at Natsu in utter shock.
He's doing it for Erza, because he knows... he knows that if Jellal is taken away... it will hurt Erza. And Natsu will never let his guildmates get hurt... not if he can stop it.
Raven was torn inside. She understood Natsu's reasoning, she truly did. And part of her wanted to jump into the fight alongside him to spare Erza the pain. But on the other hand... did Jellal deserve to walk away after everything he had done? All of the pain and heartbreak he had caused, all of the evil he had done... there had to be consequences for that.
But was she willing to let Erza's broken heart be a part of that?
After everything that Erza has done for me... I can't just stand back and let this happen to her. I won't.
She didn't allow herself to think about it anymore. As more knights ran at Natsu, she sprinted forward, Blayze hopping off of her shoulder just in time.
"Shadow Dragon Iron Fist!"
The group of knights in the front went flying back into their comrades, and Raven turned to see Gray standing a few feet away from her, landing punches and kicks at the knights who dared come near him.
"Keep going, Natsu!" Gray shouted.
"Don't stop!" Happy called out.
"We got this!" she said, sending another attack into their ranks. "Get to Jellal!"
"Shadow Dragon Beam!"
A large, black magic circle appeared over the knights' heads, and they didn't even have time to run as a pillar of shadows shot out of the magic circle and blasted them all backwards, creating a deep crater in the earth.
She was vaguely aware of the others jumping in to fight as she continued to blast her way through the knights.
"Listen, you owe Erza big time!" she heard Natsu shout, "She needs you to stay by her side. She did it for you, man. You gotta stay, because whether you like it or not, you're one of us now!"
"Arrest them all for aiding a fugitive and obstructing the law!" Lahar screamed, sending another wave of knights at them.
"That's enough! Stop this at once!"
Raven stopped short, whipping around to see Erza standing before them all, and everyone else did the same.
"I apologize for this disturbance," she said, shadows concealing her face, "It's gone too far. I'm the one to blame. Now, please... take him away."
Raven's eyes softened at the pain in her voice.
Oh, Erza...
"But why?" Natsu shouted.
"Sit down."
Natsu plopped down in a heartbeat. "Yes, ma'am."
As Jellal was led away, once again, he smiled and looked at Erza over his shoulder.
"I remember... it was the color of your hair."
Erza inhaled sharply, and Raven saw tears in the corner of Erza's eyes as she watched Jellal step into the waiting carriage, its doors slamming closed behind him.
As dawn slowly approached, Raven made her way up to the top of the cliff.
She had left Blayze at their group's makeshift campsite about an hour ago, where everyone had been resting and letting their wounds heal, well... almost everyone.
She glanced up at the top of the cliff and saw red hair gleaming in the light of the rising sun.
Originally, Raven had planned on going off on her own for a while, needing the space to think, to plan exactly how she was going to explain everything to Master Makarov... about how she lost control on her previous mission... and how that had lead to her hurting her guildmates on this one.
It was sort of ironic, she supposed, that she had finally gained the courage to tell everything to Master thanks to the actions of Hoteye, a member of the Oracion Seis, and Jellal, a man she had never met, yet hated.
If they can be brave enough to face the consequences of their actions... then so can I.
As she reached the top of the cliff, Erza's back facing her, she shook off her thoughts.
Yes, she had set out with the intention of being alone for a while... but she had heard Erza's quiet sobs and knew that Erza's needs were more important than her own right now.
Her footsteps were soft as she crossed over the rocky ground and eased herself down next to Erza. Silently, Raven slipped an arm around her shoulders, and Erza laid her head on Raven's shoulder, shaking from the force of her quiet sobs.
Raven rubbed soothing circles on her back and rested her head gently on Erza's, offering her friend her silent comfort.
Just as Erza had once done for her.
Yay! I finally got the chapter out, and I'm already working on the next one! The next chapter is one that I've had in my mind forever. It was one of the first scenes I ever came up with for this fic, and I'm super excited to write it! The next chapter should be out this week, so keep an eye out for it!
I know I keep mentioning it, but in case you didn't know, I have a Tumblr account where you can find some edits and fun stuff for Finding Yourself, so go check that out! My account name is dreamerwithapen1
Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter, and if you did, leave a review! Let me know your thoughts!
Until next time!