"Okay... I didn't know that this was..."
"Shut up, Lawson!" Stephanie yelled "I don't know why I trusted you not to turn this into a bigger fuck-up than it already was, but you did and it is!"
Cooper was intelligent enough not to reply to that. James, however, felt the need to add something.
"Listen lady..." was all he got out before Stephanie shot him one of her patented glares.
"That shut up Lawson was directed at everyone in this room with that last name!" If looks could kill, James would be as dead as many of his own victims. "This is what is going to happen..."
Oh great, there goes Wrestlemania. Cooper thought.
"One... if anything happens to Del Rio, I will have everyone in this room who is not a McMahon arrested, charged, and hung out to dry. Secondly," this was directed at James "the ban my father put on you now extends to any member of your family not currently employed by WWE and believe me, there will be consequences if I hear any of you have even been in a men's room at a live event... any questions so far?"
The room was engulfed in total silence. Even James was quiet, which wasa feat in itself.
"I will take care of Del Rio from a company standpoint, which brings me to my final bit of business: Wrestlemania. If there any problems between now and then, there will be no Wrestlemania for either of you. Is there any part of what I just said that is in any way unclear with anyone?"
James covered Connor's mouth before he could get them all in more trouble.
"Good... any questions?"
"Uhm..." Cooper raised his hand like a timid five-year-old. "I guess now is not a good time to ask if I can have two weeks off after Wrestlemania."
Stephanie acid stare answered that question.
"Now get out of my office, and in the case of two of you, this arena!"
It was a mad scramble as everyone pushed their way out. Once the last man had left, the door closing behind them, Stephanie exhaled. Channelling her inner-Vince like that was fun, but it was very tiring.
"Now if only Del Rio listens as well."
...
"What the hell was that all about?" Cooper demanded "And how the fuck did she find out?"
"I told her." Mark stated
"And after you raised hell when I wanted to do something about it?" James stopped in the process of opening the car door. "Just what were you thinking, Mark? I mean, seriously..."
"I was the only one thinking seriously, apparently. You were too busy drooling over the prospect of killing Del Rio and from the screams coming from the bedroom, I have a pretty good idea of what the two of you were up to."
"I hope it gives you nightmares like I get when you two go at it."
"Not really." Mark shrugged, which irritated Cooper more. "I wish I could've heard the conversation when you told Jeff about your fun. Now that would've been entertaining."
Not as entertaining as you think, deadman...
"Since you've got it all figured out, what do we do now, Marky-Mark?"
"We are doing nothing. James, take Connor home and either order pizza or kill a hooker or something. Cooper, you and I have work to do."
"Nuuuuuuuuu..." Connor whined "I wants..."
"Connor, shush for once." James hated talking like that to his son, namely because of the tantrums it led to, but he was a little afraid of Stephanie. Not physically; he doubted he'd let her hit him more than once or twice before he started fighting back, but financially. Even a company as successful as Likansuk didn't have the resources of the WWE if Stephanie saw fit to pursue a lengthy legal battle and if Stephanie was anything like her father, she would go after his wallet if Del Rio even disappeared. "We're going home and we'll order pizza."
"No!" Connor crossed his arms and sulked
"Okay... I'm going home, and ordering pizza, and I'll eat all the chocolate dunky-thingies myself!"
"Meanie!" The threat worked, though. Connor was in the car, anxiously honking the horn, in seconds. "C'mon Daddy... I want the dunky-thingies!"
Just to make certain, Mark and Cooper waited for the car to leave, then waited a good ten minutes after just in case.
"That was too fuckin' close." Mark sighed, heading back into the arena.
"I don't get you." Cooper said "Why would you do something like that... you know what's gonna happen when you get home."
"Son, you and I both know that James is just being protective of Connor. With you on the road, he's the only one to deal with your brother." Mark looked his son squarely in the face. "I think that's why he's such a... y'know..."
"Grouchy-pants?" Cooper said
"Son, you have been hanging around Jeff too much." Mark chuckled "But that's what it is... Connor misses having you around, and James misses having you around to take care of Connor. At least that's what he tells me."
"Dad, I'm twenty-eight, almost twenty-nine years old. It's about time I started taking care of myself... well, trying to at least. Why can't some people see that?" Cooper asked "I'm not a kid anymore."
"I'm not the one giving you shit about it. I'm just, believe it or not, trying to do this fathering thing and giving you the facts." Mark answered "I've just got one last question."
"That is?"
"Why did you ask about two weeks off after Wrestlemania?"
"Can you keep a secret?" Cooper asked
"Unlike your brother, yes."
"Well, so can I." Cooper chuckled "Wanna get a beer or two before the production meeting?"
Mark smirked "After that beatdown by the boss, I'm gonna need more than two."
...
"You never came back to the bar last night." Matt stuck his arm out the open window.
"Nope." Jeff answered
"Must've been something serious?"
"Nope." Jeff repeated
"So Cooper hasn't screwed up again?"
"Nope." Jeff repeated for a third time.
"Are you gonna tell me what happened?"
"Nope." Jeff smiled
"They fucked. Matt, c'mon, even I can see the hickey." Randy leaned over the seat and poked the reddish-purplish bruise on the side of Jeff's neck, causing him to squeal and accidentally drive the car onto the soft shoulder. "After all the love marks I've left on your body..."
"Can we please not talk about my sex life?" Jeff grumbled
"But your sex life is so much fun to talk about." Randy continued to tease.
"Imma make you walk to the arena, both of you, if you don't stop with the poopy-pantsedness right now."
"Is that even a word?" Matt asked
"It is if I say it is." Jeff got back on the road. "Now shush. We're almost there."
...
Once they got the beer, Cooper and Mark drank it outside by the car so nobody could try to say anything to them about having alcohol backstage. As they drank it Cooper told Mark the reason why he wanted time off after Wrestlemania. Mark listened without interrupting, which was a nice thing for Cooper. After the whole thing with Stephanie earlier he really wasn't in the mood to get interrupted or have a whole bunch of smartass comments thrown his way. It would have just set him off in the worst possible way.
"When were you planning on telling James this?" Mark asked once Cooper was done.
"When I came home but Connor opening his big fat mouth about Del Rio got in the way of that."
Mark just shook his head. "We all knew that was going to happen sooner or later. To think Connor could ever keep a secret was completely foolish."
"Yeah well he had horrible fucking timing," Cooper muttered. "Now not only do I have to find another time to tell Dad but I'm never going to get Stephanie to let me have time off of Wrestlemania now. I'm gonna be lucky if I don't get my career fucked over and end up jobbing to Primo on Superstars."
"I don't think she'll be doing anything like THAT," Mark assured him. "I know she's pissed right now but Del Rio is still alive and as long as James and Connor behave and stay away then she'll stay professional and not let this affect business."
"But she still won't be giving me my two weeks off after Wrestlemania," Cooper interjected. "And now this means I'm going to have to have another talk with Jeff, which could go horribly wrong quite frankly."
"Just tell Jeff you'll need to try to talk to her after she cools back down. Once she cools back down you should be able to get your couple weeks off."
"And what if she still don't want to give it to me?"
"Then I'll try to talk to her, alright? Just settle your ass down." Mark took a long drink of his beer. "You gotta just keep your tits calm. It'll work out okay."
"That's easy for YOU to say," Cooper muttered. He took a swig of his beer and ran a hand through his hair. "You're you. And I'm me. And I have quite a notorious history as a fuck-up."
Mark opened his mouth to say something but stopped when a car pulled up near them and Jeff practically leapt out of the car and pounced on Cooper. "Coopy!" He wrapped his legs around Cooper's waist and kissed his cheek. "Hi!"
"Hi." Cooper kissed him back, his cheeks turning red as Mark, Matt and Randy all laughed at him.
"I missed you." Jeff kissed his cheek again, making exaggerated kissing noises as he did so. "I missed you lots." He kissed his cheek yet again.
"I missed you too," Cooper replied, shaking his head at the way Jeff was being.
"Oh come on, it hasn't been THAT long since you guys saw each other," Matt said in exasperation.
"Oh come on Matt, they're cute," Randy said. He had the biggest shit eating grin on his face at the moment. "They loooooooove each other."
Cooper rolled his eyes. "Stop that."
"You looooooove him."
"Orton I mean it."
"Why? You don't like that I feel the loooooooove?"
"I will beat the shit out of you right now. I'm not joking. I will risk Stephanie's wrath again just to hurt you." Cooper didn't really mean that. He was just hoping he could scare Randy into shutting the hell up.
Matt raised his eyebrows. "Again? What did you do the first time?"
"It was nothing HE really did it was just the potential death of Del Rio that got her all pissed off," Mark said. "But it's fine. Once she cools down more it'll all be settled."
Jeff frowned. "Did you get to ask for the time off before she got mad?"
"I kind of did…the look I got nearly skinned me alive."
"He'll just have to try again once she's calmed back down," Mark said when he saw the disappointed look on Jeff's face. "She'll probably me more willing to listen then."
"And why exactly do you want time off?" Of course Matt had to ask. He couldn't just mind his own business.
Cooper made Jeff get back down to his own two feet. "Jeff can tell you while I get my ass to that stupid production meeting. I'm NOT looking to get another asshole torn into me for being late."
Cooper went inside, leaving just silence between the other four.
"I guess I better head to the production meeting as well." Mark tossed his empty beer bottle across the loading dock and followed Cooper back into the arena.
"Well?" Matt repeated
"I dunno." Jeff giggled childishly.
"What do you mean you don't know?" Matt demanded "Cooper just told us to ask you and now you don't even know!"
Jeff giggled again, shrugging his shoulders.
"C'mon Matty, you always say that Cooper's a lying bastard." Randy interrruped "Why would you all of a sudden take his word for it?"
Jeff jaw dropped. "Matty, you're a meanie!"
"Great, another Connor." Matt grumbled
"Just for that, even if I did know, I wouldn't tell you. So nyah nyah nyah..." Jeff blew a raspberry at Matt and ran inside.
"I have such a headache..." Matt moaned "I swear, those two..."
"Look on the bright side. You won't be working a program with them after 'Mania." Randy scratched the stubble on his chin.
"You?"
"Yeah, assuming nothing goes wrong." Randy continued to rub the growth on his face.
"We're dealing with Lawsons. That's a real big assumption... if it itches so much, why don't you just shave?" Randy's scratching was becoming a distraction.
"Creative wants me to grow one. They said it'll make me look more menacing."
"Fuck Creative. It'll make you look like Punk and nobody wants that."
"Speaking of Punk, I gotta go. We gotta go over some stuff. Later, love." One long,
tongue-fuelled kiss later, and a very red-faced Matt was being stared at by the Bella twins.
Connor is right... twins are creepy.
...
Cooper and Mark listened intently during the production meeting. Creative had no plans for any real big buildup on the last Smackdown before Wrestlemania. According to Michael Hayes, their wasn't much more to be said between the two without it becoming repetitive. According to Mark, it was because Michael Cole didn't want to get tombstoned again.
"Other than the head shots, and the blood, there's pretty much nothing we can't do, right?"
At Cooper's request, the title versus streak match was being billed as a no-disqualification match.
"After what you've done to each other since you won the title, we're expecting nothing short of the two of you slashing each other's throats out there."
Cooper winced at Hayes' choice of words. Even Mark seemed a little disturbed by them. Thank God no one named Hardy heard that...
The Creative team droned on about some of the other matches and Celebrity segments that were gonna make up Sunday's big show... every third sentence seemed to be either about the Rock, Cena, or the Miz, not a single one of which Cooper cared about. In his mind, the Rock should've stayed in Hollywood, Cena should go to Hollywood and stay, and the closest thing to Hollywood for the Miz, short of doing gay porn, would be another Real World reunion.
After what seemed like hours, they finally heard the most blessed words of all. "Good luck on Sunday, everyone and remember, spectacular but safe."
Mark and Cooper were the first out of the room.
"One more beer with the old man before the big day?"
"You read my mind... Dad." Cooper smiled "You read my mind."