Author's Notes: Thanks for the crackified!fic love, ya'll! To JsyGirl, thanks for your comments! Unfortunately in this ficcy, Boone & Shannon are still dead. Sorry! But I'm actually looking into the Des/Claire/Chuck angle and HOPEFULLY, there will be a little arc for them coming up in some later chapters. This really is mostly a Skate vs Sana fic, LOL, but I'm trying my best to give almost everybody their spot, or at least a mention. I didn't actually contemplate how many ships people have on Lost when I started this thing, rofl.

A recap!

The Sanateers & Anayids - Collide, converge, converse and conspire.

Ana & Jack - Ana finds out why Jack's finer feelings towards her suddenly came up. She boggles with horror. "SKATE SEX! MY EYES!!ELEVEN1!11!" JK. :P

Sawyer & Alex - En route for a radio tower that will solve all their current problems, Alex explains the intricacies of what the Others are really about, says something about Sawyer being a shipping nucleus, and then they both find out that someone has blocked incoming radio transmissions with (oh how ironic) a loop of Dark Angel's streaming freedom radio bulletin, A La Danielle's radio intrusion in LOST's "Pilot". Blast and pooh!

Chapter 14: C.O.O.K.I.E.S Anyone?

With the air of a woman who had finally lost all possible existing patience with people, the world and the universe in general, Ana Lucia made her way swiftly to the end of the corridor, Jack on her heels. He caught up with her and seized her arm. Angrily, she whirled around.

"Ana," Jack started, "I can explain –"

"Save it, Jack, I've heard—'scuse me—seen all I want to."

"You don't understand –"

"What?? Understand what? That everything that happened between us back there was a lie? This was some kind of game, wasn't it? You got your feelings hurt by that doey eyed ditz and you wanted to make yourself feel better, well I hope you feel better Jack, in fact, I hope you feel awesome, cuz I've never been better!"

She yanked her arm away and stormed off. Jack sped after her and blocked her path.

"Listen to me Ana, my intention wasn't to hurt you—" his words were met by a scoff. "I was—look, listen, you're right, I was feeling hurt, but I care about you Ana, you have to beli –"

"Hey Jack, why don't you save it for someone who cares? Right now, I'd like to get Sayid and I'd like to get out of this goddamn place, okay?"

"Ana, we're not going anywhere until you hear me out."

"I've heard all I want to. Get out of my way."

"Ana—"

"OUT. OF. MY. WAY."

So that was it. She was done. And he could tell. Nothing he'd say would make it better. Despondently, he stepped aside, and let her storm off down the hall. Jack honestly hadn't wanted to hurt her, but then, he knew—with a rush of regret, that she was dead on with her accusation. He'd wanted to take away his pain of seeing Kate with Sawyer. And Ana had been a convenient outlet. But in his anger, he had failed to anticipate something. He'd hurt a friend. And remembering Ana's eyes when she had seen the monitor, he suspected that she was hurt much deeper than he had expected.

--

Roused by a sudden rush of frigid air, Sayid rose and saw Ana Lucia entering on the other side of the room. At first glance, the Latina seemed shaken.

"Ana Lucia. What are you doing here? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." She said curtly. "You okay?"

Jack entered the room behind her, looking more apologetic than usual.

"I will be when we're out of here." replied Sayid.

"Tell me about it."

But that, sadly, was not to happen. Startled at the sound of gears engaging, the three whirled to see with horror the door Ana and Jack had entered from swinging automatically shut, and the wheel spinning, locking with a finite "CLICK".

--

Wheels were also turning at the Jawyer Project center. They had their man, and they had been about to collect their other man. But as usual, the het shippers were ruining everything. Skate would do something intrusive and then the Sana people would come along to make it worse. The Jawyer faction wasn't much worried about the squabbling hets, though. They knew how to make ends meet, whatever the odds. Things always just seemed to happen that way for them. One way or another, Jack and Sawyer would always find their way to each other. That was just the nature of the beast.

This fate-dependent indifference was the reason why, when it was discovered that Sawyer was missing from their holding study room, no PM's were sent out. No mass e-mailing was done, no alarms were pulled and no authority figures were frantically contacted. Everyone simply sat back, watched re-runs of Dharma and Greg, and waited for something to start happening.

Down at Sana, however, PM's were being sent out. Everyone's mail-box was spammed by at least a dozen letters deploring what had happened with Jack and Ana, and issuing conferences to discuss new ship maneuvers. It wasn't until some 16 hours later when Jungle Assault Platoon Warrant Officer of The Rambina Coalition Carol had sent a "RE: SANA CRISIS ISSUE: OPEN IMMEDIATELY" message to everyone which contained some "Special News", that the furor over the Jana conflagration began to subside. It was to be a historic month. Two factions would collaborate for the first time, and the result would no doubt be sweet success.

Meanwhile, even more things were occurring that no one had ever suspected would occur. No one knew exactly how hard the culprits had struck, until it occurred to an S.P.C affiliated Communication Technician, as she sat, watching Ana, Jack and Sayid communicate on the Medusa holding area monitoring video. Something shocking was about to happen, unbeknownst to almost everyone and anyone who was affiliated with G.A.M.S, the James (Sawyer) Ford Hussies Sub-Council and the Jack (All Sheep Need A Sheppard) Island Hussies Association.

C.O.O.K.I.E.S were crumbling all over Sana AND Jana! And what had been put into motion, could not be stopped. The Anayids had come out. And they had struck hard.

TO BE CONTINUED...