A/N: The lovely mooshlam has made a video for this series: youtube: sRYfGedCdwE. Please check out this awesomeness and if you can, leave a comment on the vid! It fits my fics to perfection and I'm flattered beyond belief by the work and effort that went into it.
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Purplish eyelids trembled, as the grumpy doctor from the Enterprise ran his scanner over Christopher's prone body. Kati heard the hitch in the wounded man's breath. A slight gasp came from the direction of James Kirk. She looked up at the teary eyes of the captain of the Enterprise. She wanted to comment ironically on the overt display of emotion, but she recalled the warmth with which Chris spoke of the young officer and found that she couldn't talk past the lump building in her throat.
She shifted her gaze downwards then, fighting her own feelings, and caught Chris' unfocused blue-gray eyes. The smile rose to her lips without conscious prompting on her part. His lids slid closed a few more times in the space of the next minute, before his eyes cleared fully. Kirk's steps drew closer and the doctor told him something about Christopher's condition. She ignored them, aware that with the help of the serum made from her blood, his recovery was a given.
Her hand covered his on the bed and their fingers meshed together. "Kati...," he coughed, her name coming out dry and garbled.
McCoy gave him a drink of water and asked him how he was. Christopher caught sight of Kirk and his entire face lit up at the sight, before wearily confirming that he was well. Then he lay back on the bed and glanced to her again. "Are you okay?" he wheezed.
Something vaguely familiar squeezed painfully at her chest. McCoy and she had just dragged him back from death's door and his concern was for her, who was standing there looking mighty healthy. The concern on the part of her family was expected, forged in pain, fire and a three-hundred years old connection, but the care of outsiders never failed to mystify her. Even now she had to push back her wish to run away from the room and from the emotion, as she muttered that she was just fine. Chris rewarded her answer with a brilliant smile that made her legs feel wobbly.
Christopher's hand squeezed hers feebly, not letting go even as his eyes roved to the young captain once more. "Where are we, James?" he inquired.
Kirk's face fell, obviously not looking forward to the explanation he would have to give. Kati's sense of irony recovered instantly.
"This should be entertaining," she murmured with a triumphant smirk that disappeared as Christopher addressed her again.
"Kati, do you mind giving us a moment, please?" Chris asked kindly.
When it came down to it, she did mind but she couldn't deny him, either. She regretfully released his hand, her bereft skin immediately missing the contact. "Of course," she said softly and left without looking at the other two humans in the med bay. She was in no mood for their condemnation or dismay.
In the corridor, she leaned against a wall, scrunching her eyes shut. Her head was swimming with fragmented thoughts and doubts. She was in serious trouble. She gripped at the first rationalization available: Christopher and she had just survived a difficult, adrenaline-fueled brush with death. It was precisely the kind of situation that facilitated easy and unwarranted bonding. She only needed time; it would all go away. Summoning her entire will power, she dragged herself towards the bridge.
Kati didn't like humans. It had nothing to do with the difference in strength between them and the Augments. Not even with the many transgressions they had committed against her people. She reserved her wrath for those who had earned it directly and against whom she exacted swift and merciless retribution, whenever possible. And when impossible, she generally found a way to make it possible. Her dislike of humans was rooted in their annoying physical fragility. A fall broke their bones. Viruses easily nestled in their hastily-put together blood and unleashed terrible illnesses. Their ribs cracked with ridiculous ease. Their loyalties were in constant flow, just as kindness and unredeemable cruelty resided within them, sometimes to such an extent that it drove them mad.
She definitely did not like humans, nor had she wanted to befriend Carol Marcus. When the woman had arrived on Ceti Alpha V, the mere thought of her last name had made Kati's skin crawl. She had expected Carol to be prejudiced against them, suspected her of being a spy and overall, had seen her as nothing more than a hostage too important not be kept alive and well, despite the burning desire to make her pay for what her father had put them through. But Carol had regarded them with wide, fearful eyes, even as she so visibly striven to mask said fear. She had drifted among them like a sad ghost, keeping to herself but at the same time seeming so eager to reach out to them.
Kati had often tended to the hydroponic garden by Khan's house on the old colony, acutely aware of the human's eyes on her from the shadow of windows. Then one day Carol had come down with two steaming cups of that vile synthesized tea. Kati had accepted the invitation more out of amusement than anything else, but Carol had inquired about her plants and before Kati had even realized it, they had been talking for over an hour. It had not taken Kati long to understand that while she might not have looked the part with all her insistence on keeping her dignity, Carol had also been a victim of her father's machinations. After that, their relationship had progressed seamlessly and Kati had discovered a new, previously unexplored facet of the vulnerability of humans: it evoked a most disturbing yet unshakable urge to shield and protect.
The turbolift doors hissed open to admit her onto the bridge. Khan was engrossed in the readings of the central console, while the Vulcan from the Enterprise steered the ship through the mapped pathway through the Klingon Empire and towards neutral space. The place was otherwise empty and deadly silent. The alien didn't turn or gave any other sign of acknowledging her presence. She walked up to Khan who lifted his eyes to look at her with a question in his eyes. Kati hesitated, thinking quickly.
With their memory, they spoke just about every Earth language they had come in contact with, but the only one that felt native to them was the Punjabi dialect indigenous to the region in India, where the medical facility in which they had grown up had been located. The computer aboard the Vengeance had informed them that it had since disappeared so presumably the Vulcan could not be aware of it.
"Humans," she began in Punjabi. "We can't live with them, can't conquer them and apparently we can't live without them, either."
She had anticipated at least a hint of a smile, but instead the creases on his forehead deepened, as his eyebrows knitted together. Something flickered in his eyes, but it was gone too soon for her to get an accurate read on it.
"You have the bridge," he told her in the Standard language, they had learnt since their awakening to the 23rd century.
She nodded and moved to replace him. The command in his words had been unmistakable. She looked over the the console, though Khan's gaze right before he left the bridge haunted her. There had been something in them nobody knowing him could have ever associated with him. It had looked suspiciously like uncertainty.
# # #
Carol stumbled blearily from the bed, almost allowing Khan in, before she realized she was in her underwear. Although her scruples were overdue, given their past physical relationship, she still stopped herself and fished her pants and blouse from the back of the chair, where she had discarded them, and put them on.
"Computer, let him in," she finally said, running a hand through her hair.
Khan stalked inside as if he owned the place, which on the Vengeance was not entirely inaccurate. He eyed the tangled bedding critically. "I apologized for waking you up." His gaze flickered to her then, the laser-focus of intent accentuating the golden rays in the swirl of blue and green of his eyes.
A shiver climbed up her spine, waking her up completely and making goose-bumps pucker all over her skin. She recognized that look and the heated edge of desire in it.
"This is about earlier," she remarked in a deliberately casual voice.
"Yes, it is," he responded, taking a step closer to her. "But not about the political part of it."
"Good, because I am compelled by my duty as a member of Starfleet to report that part to my superior officers."
He all but shrugged. "I already considered the possibility of one of you realizing all is not what it seems." His utter lack of concern bordered on unnerving and his scrutiny was as probing as ever. "Tell me: what would you report on our relationship, when your captain asks? Because he will ask."
Carol looked away, aware that no matter how composed she tried to appear, he would easily see through her facade and flay her open. "That's not your problem," she replied in a clipped voice.
"Kati says you are unhappy with your return to Starfleet," he responded mildly.
The sudden change of topic made her shift her gaze back to him, even as dark suspicion entered her mind. "Why are you here?" she asked icily.
"You can come back to Ceti Alpha V," he continued as if uninterrupted. "You can have your own house and work on the colony's installations as you did before. My people would receive you with open arms."
His statement confounded her. "Even if I were to leave Starfleet, there are still many other options available to me in the Federation."
He nodded, his whole face moving with an emotion halfway between regret and tenderness. "I know, but if you stay within Federation limits, I would not have the chance to earn your forgiveness or show you that I have not grown fond of your against my will."
Carol gaped at him with an open mouth. She wanted to believe him and his earnest expression encouraged her in that direction, but the past stood between them once more. "I don't trust you," she blurted out after a few painfully long minutes of heavy silence. "What's worse, I don't trust myself around you."
"Let's look at this objectively then: I can no longer compel you in any way, nor do I have anything to gain from your presence at my side."
She scoffed, waving a dismissive hand at his words. "Yes, you do. You get to complete your revenge against my father. He slipped through your fingers once, but sooner or later I'll have to tell him where I am. And then you can shove our marriage, our real marriage this time in his face, while he's powerless to do anything about it."
His eyes narrowed, his features twisting with rage and viciousness. "I had your father's head in my hands and I could have crushed it with barely an effort. The only reason I didn't was because I knew it would break you."
"Do you have any idea how terrifying that sounds?" she retorted.
"Do you want to hear something even more so? I would kill for you. Now I could tell you it's because I love you, but your kind throws that word around so casually, using it to name the most frivolous of emotions or to justify every vulgarity and betrayal. The human understanding of it is such a pale substitute for my devotion. I admire your integrity, your intelligence and strength of spirit. To me you are exquisite in every way. I am sorry if all this offends your 23rd century sensibilities, but one thing I have never lied to you about is what and who I am."
She was blinking rapidly, her world sliding off course and veering into the direction of a radically different landscape. She stared and stared. His expression wasn't something she hadn't seen in him before: the widened eyes, the intensity in them and the overblown pupils, the openness in his face. He always looked like this, when he spoke of his family, but there was something else to it: a new nuance.
"You're right," she said at last, her lips trembling around the words. "It's frightening and I don't know whether to be incredibly flattered or at least partially insulted by what you've just said, but for what it's worth, I feel the same."
His eyes burnt with the fervor of his emotion and he moved so close to her that she could feel the heat radiating off him. "Then come with me," he enticed.
She drew back, putting a spec of distance between them. She desperately needed clarity, but her judgment was precarious and only clouding further. "I can't," she responded. "The way we started and everything that's happened between us... it's not healthy. Even the way we feel for each other is pure madness."
He didn't make any attempt to physically reach her again, but his gaze didn't stray from her face, the intensity in it only increasing. "Why do you think it's such madness? We are intellectual equals, we enjoy each other's company and we share a passionate attraction. As for your lack of trust in me, you can start building one by believing I would never be unfaithful to you and that I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for my transgressions against you."
She was moved but conflicted as well. "I can also believe that you'd be able to sell ice to someone living on Delta Vega."
He frowned slightly, confusion sweeping over his face. It was endearing and she could not help but smile a bit, no matter how shakily. "I don't know the 20th century equivalent, but I think you get the sentiment."
A touch of bleakness tainted his expression. "Your answer is no," he stated with his usual aplomb.
Carol bit into her lower lip, vacillating. "My answer... ." She paused and swallowed, pushing her next words past the suffocating weight pressing on her chest. "I need time."
He nodded wordlessly and extended his right arm, his palm pressing lightly against her cheek. She leaned into the touch, as her eyelids fluttered. Something was rising within her, tidal and powerful, threatening to pull her under. Her natural instinct was to struggle against it, but she was weary and her body remembered all too well the comfort of his arms. She shivered and he was suddenly closer again. He bent over and she closed her eyes, ready to welcome the kiss, bitter as it would be under the circumstances. But his lips only brushed gently against her forehead.
Unbidden her arms wrapped themselves around his torso and she burrowed her head into his chest. He returned the embrace and held her for a while. It was she who kissed him, disregarding the voice screaming in the back of her head that this was a mistake. She didn't care. She wanted this stolen moment in time. Perhaps it was also unfair to him on some level, but he was kissing her back with equal abandon. Carol let herself be swept away.
TBC