My heart stopped. Did he say dead? The tone of his voice told me it wasn't an accident—but I had a hard time believing that someone who could care for me so fully could also be involved in anyone's death. The fear and confusion in my eyes must've been apparent. Within seconds he moved away from me, deciding to lean against the sink instead.

He pushed his fingers through his tangled locks, gripping his hair at the end. I watched the way his body tensed, the anxiety shining through his eyes. I found myself almost telling him that he didn't need to explain it to me—but I knew I couldn't do that.

"My father was an alcoholic my whole life. Short-tempered, always irritated, mean, detached. I always found myself wondering why my mother put up with it." He shook his head for a moment, as if he still wanted an answer to the question.

"I steered clear of him, kept my grades up, made sure my room was always clean…anything to keep from drawing any attention towards me. My mother was his number one target though. Anything she did, any movement she made, any words that came out of his mouth… he tore her down, Bella. Every day was a problem, and every night was a disaster I couldn't get away from. They did their best to keep the violent parts away from me, but I could hear it clear as day echoing though the empty hall that separated our rooms. I wanted to protect her, to help her… but I was so scared."

My eyes watered as he wrapped his arms around his upper body. Somehow I had never expected such a dark past behind someone so perfect. Though I suppose that was my own ignorance—to think that just because he was successful meant he had never had to struggle in life.

"When I was 12 I came home one day and found them in the kitchen. I had no idea why my father was home… he worked from 7 in the morning till 6 at night every day. They were quiet, and from a far it seemed to me like they were embracing… and I felt so much relief fill me, Bella. I had never seen them act even remotely intimate. I moved closer, hoping to ask why he was home… but the closer I got the clearer it became. He wasn't hugging her… he was strangling her. Her face was changing colors, her hands were pushed against his chest but I knew she was no match for him. I screamed, I didn't know what to do. The sound seemed to distract my dad for a second and in that moment my mom pushed free and tried to run. Everything got …. confusing after that. We were all running and yelling and grabbing… he was trying to get his hands back around her neck, she was crying, and somehow I had forced myself between the two of them. I didn't know what else to do, Bella."

His voice was hoarse as he looked away; but I could already see the red rim surrounding his eyes. He was silent for a few moments, as if he wasn't sure he should proceed. I started to stand, hoping to go to him but he held up his hand and shook his head, gesturing for me to stay seated.

"I grabbed the first thing I could get my hands on. I didn't hesitate, Bella. I shoved a knife right through my dad's chest. The blood… it was everywhere. My mother and I sobbed uncontrollably while we watched him take his last breaths. My mother came around quicker than I did. Within minutes she was cleaning the handle of the knife and pressing her own fingers to it. She urged me to call the police, and to tell them that there had been an accident. I was to tell them I had walked in from school found them like this. I kept thinking how wrong it was to lie—I didn't want my mother in trouble for my mistake, but she said everything would be okay. The cops came, an ambulance, a coroner… it was horrible. They took picture after picture, I was questioned continuously and they wouldn't let me near my mother. I stayed with our neighbors for the next week… my mother didn't want me to know anything. I know she was trying to protect me but I was traumatized—I had murdered my father!" His voice suddenly grew loud, as if the sheer thought of it was still hurting him now. I yearned to touch him, to comfort him—to do something to show him that I wasn't scared of him. Slowly, I rose from the tub, and this time he didn't try to stop me.

I grabbed one of the fluffy towels from the rack and secured it around my body before crossing the small space that separated us. I slid my fingers up to his face, my hands cradling his cheeks as I stared into his eyes.

"Go on," I urged, my eyes locked with his. He swallowed hard and nodded, clearing his throat before he continued.

"About two weeks went by… my mother still hadn't come for me. I had no idea what was going on, but the neighbors were nice. They made sure I ate, went to school, had my homework done. They were an older couple but they gave as much effort as they could. Tuesday night, two weeks after the…incident, the police showed up at their house. My mom had killed herself. She had left a note asking for the older couple, Esme and Carlisle, to adopt me." My eyes widened as I tried to fully grasp what he was telling me. He had lost both of his parents weeks apart in such gruesome ways. And yet here was, stronger than ever, and trying to take care of me?

He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to mine, his eyes shutting as he continued in a low voice.

"I didn't expect Esme and Carlisle to keep me. Like I mentioned, they were older—and I was a pre-teen with two dead parents. But a week later they signed the papers, formally adopted me and we changed my last name. After my parents were buried in modest ceremonies Carlisle put the rest of the insurance policy money in a savings account for when I graduated. I surprised everyone by going to culinary school. Then, when I finished, the money was there and I just started opening small restaurants….and uh, well. Here we are now." His voice held a tinge of humor—I knew he was trying to soften the moment. I pulled my hands away from his face and wrapped them around his neck, hugging him with every ounce of passion, respect, and sympathy I felt. He had come so far, and surpassed so much horror in his life. And here I was, making every stupid mistake he begged me not to. Things were so clear now.

"Do you understand now, Bella? Do you understand why I need you to let me keep you safe? Please…" His voice cracked and I couldn't bear it.

"Ask me again, Edward." I said softly, nudging his jaw with my nose.

"I don't want to force you…"

"Ask me again."

"Move in with me, Bella. Please?"

Instead of words, I pressed my lips to his as gently as I could. I wasn't going to let Jacob ruin my life anymore. I was taking charge and the first step was making the best decision I could. I was going to give myself to Edward completely.