I do not own Avatar or any of its characters.

Acceptance (Part I)

Zuko awoke to the feel of the sunlight on his face. Slowly opening his eyes he gazed around camp only to find it deserted. Uncle and the Avatar must be fire bending he thought but where was Katara? He sat up slowly and grabbed his head as a sudden bout of nausea swept through him. Opening the fire chakra had been difficult and he was left feeling exhausted even after sleeping for hours.

Moving slowly he rekindled the fire and put a pot of water on to boil. Fortunately they had run out of the Huang Qi yesterday morning and he found himself actually looking forward to a cup of Uncle's jasmine tea. As he waited for the water to boil he thought back over the past day. He had resisted facing his past knowing that reliving it all would be very painful but he had not been prepared for the discoveries that he had made as he progressed through the chakra. It amazed him that he had been harboring feelings of shame about being his father's son. He had always looked up to his father but after he was exiled things had started to change. Now he realized that he did not want to follow in his father's footsteps. The knowledge was freeing but at the same time he felt hollow inside. Facing all the things that brought him shame had hurt more than actually living them. He may be free of his shame but he wondered just how long he would feel this new pain.

He sat in silence preparing the tea when Katara came back to camp. He looked up at her and smiled weakly and she returned his smile with one just as strained. He wondered where she had been and was about to ask when she spoke up instead. "Guru Pathik came by this morning."

"Really? Did he want to work on the next chakra with me?" He asked.

"No, actually he came to see me." And with that said she sat down on her mat opposite the fire from him. "He said that you would be too tired after yesterday and that he had come to see me instead." Her expression took on a far away look and she continued, "We went for a walk. He shared some interesting thoughts with me. I have a lot to think about."

She grew quiet and he waited for her to speak again. Finally when it became obvious that she was finished talking he said, "Would you like some tea?"

Looking up at him she replied, "No thank you." And then grew quiet again. After a few more moments of silence she decided to speak once more. "Zuko about the other day..." She paused and started to fidget nervously with her hands. "I was way out of line to speak to you like I did. Sometimes I just blurt things out before I think them through. I shouldn't have made fun of your feelings and I'm sorry."

He sat stunned at her admission. He admitted that her words the other day had infuriated him but he wasn't immune to saying things when he should just keep his mouth shut. "It's ok Katara. I deserved it."

"No you didn't!" She stated emphatically. "You were trying to share with me something that was obviously difficult for you and I just threw it back in your face. I should have been a little more respectful of your feelings."

Her statement left him feeling a slight bit embarrassed. A few months ago he may have expected an apology; heck he would have demanded one. But now he just felt awkward. Not knowing how to respond he simply replied, "Thank you."

That brought a smile to her face and he felt better knowing that he had said the right thing. Again they sat in silence until she spoke up. "So... that last chakra must have been pretty difficult... I mean it took you a lot longer to open than the other chakras."

He thought about that and replied, "It was very... complicated. There was a lot more to it than I would have first believed."

She looked at him for a moment and then said, "You know there's something different about you today than all the other times you've come back from the seeing the guru."

"I don't understand." He answered.

"Well it's just that in the past you always seemed sort of... I don't know... elated I guess. Even when you've been tired you still seemed energized. But today you seem... weary. Like you wrestled a platypus-bear and lost."

That brought a small smile to his lips and he replied, "I feel like I wrestled a platypus-bear." And then looking down he said in a quieter voice, "Opening that chakra was harder than anything that I have ever done before. Even though I was successful I felt deflated."

"Now I don't get it." She replied. "Why would you feel deflated?"

He continued to look down knowing that the pain of the past day's memories would show clearly on his face. "I had to confront a lot of things from my past that I really didn't want to relive again. It was very hard to do and exhausting. Some things in life are better left alone." And without thought he brought his hand up to his face and touched his scar.

Suddenly he could hear Katara get up from her mat. Looking up he saw her approach and then sit down beside him. Having her this close made him feel uncomfortable but when she spoke he soon regretted ever opening his mouth to begin with.

In a whisper of a voice she said, "Zuko, what was this chakra about? More so what was it blocked by that caused you so much pain?"

He looked away from her not sure if he could face yesterday's memories so soon but wanting to share his feelings with someone. In a hushed voice he replied, "Shame; this chakra was blocked by shame."

She sat quietly for a moment and then said, "Shame? That's not something I would have thought would give you trouble. You always seemed so proud to me... like you bowed to no one... you know royalty and all."

He smiled a bittersweet smile and then turning to face her said, "Being proud has nothing to do with it. Shame is simply a reaction to how I perceived things that happened in my life. I knew that I would struggle with this chakra and I almost backed out... but my desire to see this through outweighed my resistance to reliving the most painful moments in my life."

He could tell that she was thinking over what he had said and was carefully considering her next words. When she finally spoke her voice was very hushed and he could tell that she was a slight bit uncomfortable. "The other day you said that your father banished you shortly after the agni kai. You said that your burn had yet to heal... I just wondered... did that have something to do with this chakra? I don't know what an agni kai is but I figured it had to do with your scar."

He sucked in his breath at her question. He hadn't quite expected her to ask that. Still he had mentioned it to her so he did owe her an explanation. Looking away again he replied, "In my country a person's honor is his greatest asset. It is the one thing that we all share in common. Rich or poor, nobility or commoner, everyone values his honor." He paused for a moment to gather his thoughts and then continued, "When one person calls another person's honor into question it is very serious. An agni kai is a duel, or more specifically a fire duel, in which the two people involved battle to prove their honor. It ends when one of the combatants dies or surrenders in disgrace."

She made a face and replied, "That's so cruel."

"It's the way of my people. It's how we've done things for generations."

"But you said you were fourteen when you were banished. Isn't that young to fight in a duel that could result in death?" she asked.

"If you're old enough to challenge another person's honor then you are old enough to fight." He answered.

She seemed to stiffen at the coldness in his voice. After a moment though she asked, "Zuko, why were you involved in an agni kai? And why didn't your father try and stop it?"

He remained silent, unsure if he really wanted to go through all of this again. Running his hands through his hair he let out a sigh and then bowed his head. A sense of anxiety seemed to wash over him as he contemplated what to say or if he should say anything at all. Suddenly he felt her hand on his arm and as he looked up into her eyes she smiled reassuringly at him and said, "I'm sorry Zuko. I don't want to bring you any more pain. If you'd rather not talk it's ok with me."

That simple gesture gave him all the resolve he needed. He found that he did desire to share this with her. He needed to be open with her and he wanted desperately for her to understand. Gathering up his courage he slowly started to recount the story of that fateful day in his father's war room.

Katara sat stunned listening to his story. She had always thought the Fire Nation brutal in their dealings with the other nations of the world but to sacrifice their own people to take a tactical advantage was absolutely heinous. "I can't believe that that general would propose such a plan but then to punish you for speaking out against it... that's just wrong."

"Remember I was just a kid. I was wrong to speak out against the general. My uncle warned me beforehand that these men did not like to be challenged but I couldn't help myself. I reacted from my gut and didn't think about the consequences until it was too late."

"Yes but what about the consequences for all those men in that division? They were facing certain death. I mean back at the North Pole when we were facing the Fire Nation Navy we knew that there was a chance that we would die but we took that chance. We had a choice in the matter. But to blindly go into battle trusting that your superiors are looking out for you and then have them betray you to gain an advantage over the enemy is completely unfair. If anyone should have been disgraced that day it should have been that general for proposing such a plan."

He grew silent at her remarks but she noticed a slight smile grace his lips. Finally he responded, "I used to feel great shame over what I did. By speaking out I started something that changed my life and my destiny. My honor ended up being at stake as well and when I lost the agni kai I lost so much more than I could ever have imagined."

"So you had to battle the general because of what you said?" she asked.

"I thought so and I was prepared for it but when I faced my opponent that day it wasn't the general at all."

He grew quiet and looked away. Katara waited for him to continue but he remained silent. She wondered just who he had to fight but she knew who ever it was it was a source of great pain for him. She felt bad for him. He had stood up for his people and was punished for it. Seeing him in so much pain reminded her of that time when Aang had confided in her about his shame over running away from the air temple and leaving his people to face the Fire Nation alone. It had been hard for him to relive his past and she knew that this was just as hard for Zuko. Back in that cave she had comforted Aang and helped him to come to terms with his feelings. In her heart she knew that Zuko needed comfort too.

Reaching out she took his hand in hers and lacing her fingers through his she gave it a squeeze. He turned back and looked at her with an expression of wonder on his face. In that moment she realized that the last thing that he expected from her was compassion. How many times in his life had he faced pain and sorrow with no one to turn to for reassurance? How many times did he have to deal with his troubles alone?

Looking into his eyes she smiled and said, "You know you were right that day. No matter who you had to battle to prove your honor you were right."

He held her gaze and responded, "By opening the chakra yesterday I let go of my shame over that day but the pain of what happened still hurts. If I had faced the general and lost it would have been one thing but it didn't happen that way." He looked away and then said softly, "It was my father. When I turned and faced my challenger it was my father."

Once again he grew silent. She too was at a loss for words. How could his own father face him in a duel? Father's were supposed to protect their children not harm them. No wonder he felt so much pain. Instinctively she tightened her grip on his hand causing him to turn back to her. What she saw made her heart break for him. Never in her life had she seen someone so tortured by their grief. For the first time the mask of self control was gone and she saw a side of Zuko that she never knew existed under that cold exterior.

Not knowing how to respond she simply said, "I am so sorry."

He stared at her for a moment more and then said, "I never expected it to be my father but by speaking out in his war room I had disrespected him. I had no choice. I would have to duel him."

"But to fight your own father... that must have been horrible." She whispered.

"I couldn't do it." He said softly. "In the end I couldn't fight him. I begged for mercy. I pleaded with him. I told him that I had meant no disrespect. But he wouldn't hear any of it. He told me to fight and when I wouldn't he decided to punish me." His hand went to his scar again and the ugly reality of it all hit her hard.

"Your father gave you that scar?"

"By refusing to fight I dishonored myself. My weakness was punished. The scar is my mark of shame... was my mark of shame. I don't see it like that anymore. I know now that I never lost my honor that day but still... it hurts to know that he could do that to me... his own flesh and blood... his own son."

With that he bowed his head. She sat quietly taking in what he had said. Looking down she stared at her hand in his when suddenly a horrible realization took root in her heart. His words came back at her painfully. I begged for mercy. I pleaded with him. I told him that I had meant no disrespect. But he wouldn't hear any of it. His father had shown him no mercy. Katara always envisioned the Fire lord as a terrible person and knowing what he had done to his own son did nothing to change her opinion of the man. But understanding dawned on her and she realized that she had treated Zuko no better than his own father. He asked for her forgiveness on several occasions since they arrived at the air temple but she had refused to give it to him. She had wanted to punish him for what he had done. She had wanted him to suffer and so she had withheld her forgiveness. True forgiveness. Just like his father she had shown him no mercy.

She had never felt smaller in her whole life than at that moment. Softly she spoke as tears began to roll down her face, "I'm so sorry Zuko. I'm so sorry."

"It's ok Katara. It's over with. You don't have to feel sorry for me."

"No, you don't understand." She replied. "Since we arrived here last week you asked for my forgiveness and I refused to give it. I'm no better than your father..."

Turning abruptly he let go of her hand and reached up to grab her by her shoulders. In a harsh voice he said, "You are nothing like my father! You have every reason to resent me. I have done nothing but hurt you since the first time we met. Even after all of that you healed me. You gave me a second chance to change my life and I am very grateful for that."

"But you deserve mercy. Everyone deserves to be forgiven their wrongs..."

His grip on her shoulders lessened and his voice softened as he spoke, "Katara you have shown me more compassion and mercy today than I have received from anyone in a long time."

She looked up at him and said sadly. "I don't want to hold on to these feelings any more. I want to forgive you and I want to trust you... it's just hard to do."

Her words brought a bittersweet smile to his lips as and he said in reply, "I don't ever want to hurt you again like I did in Ba Sing Se. I want to have your trust but I am willing to wait." Releasing her shoulders he ran his hands down her arms and then taking her hands in his said, "I need to get up and walk. Would you like to come with me?"

Returning his smile she said, "I would like that very much." And as they got up and started to leave camp she felt the tightness that had formed in her chest earlier start to fade. Walking hand in hand she realized that she felt strangely comforted by his presence and she began to think maybe loving Zuko wouldn't be so hard after all.

A.N. This was originally supposed to be one chapter but it got too big. The next part is necessary to the story so please bear with me.

Just a little clarification - love in this stage of the story is still very platonic even with all the touching. Zuko needs to be shown compassionate love and Katara is not quite ready yet to move on to anything else.

Also Uncle has shown Zuko unconditional love all his life but Zuko doesn't quite see it yet. Just wait for the next chakra.

Hope you enjoy. Part II is hopefully on the way soon!